Yours Ch. 05

"Glad I could help." I joked.

She smiled.

"Seriously though." she said, "I think this could be a really good thing. As long as... as long as you don't hurt her."

I noticed the sudden seriousness in her tone.

"I'll try not to." I said.

She nodded.

"Try hard." she said, "I don't know about this whole "just sex" thing you have going on. I was sure Jessie would never be into that sort of thing no matter who the guy was. Just... promise me you won't hurt her."

"I promise." I lied.

I frowned, thinking about what Rose was saying.

And just like that, I was mad again. Jessica had been hurting me for years, and after finding out about she and I, Rose's first thought was about whether or not I would hurt her.

Forget the fact that this was my first relationship ever, that I was just as new to all this as Jessica was. Did it not even occur to her that I could get hurt? That I might be just as vulnerable as her friend? Maybe it was just because I was a man, and typically people are more worried about the woman getting hurt...

Also there was a little splash of guilt mixed in with that anger. Because of course, I was hurting Jessica. Consistently and deliberately.

Rose and I talked while Jessica was gone. She asked me a bunch of surprisingly invasive questions, which I mostly ignored or refused to answer, but in all it was a pretty light conversation. She didn't seem to mind that I'd been lying to her for months. Jessica hadn't been worried at all. I guess she knew her well enough to predict that she'd get over her anger pretty quickly.

Eventually Jessica joined us again. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. After one or two jokes about the situation, Rose seemed once again to be completely at ease. We slid back into the same kind of dynamic we'd been developed in these recent months. If anything, it was even less tense because now I wasn't actively hiding something from Rose.

When it was time to leave, Rose actually went out first to leave the two of us alone, winking and telling us not to take too long.

It blew my mind how quickly she'd become comfortable with this.

"So I guess that's it." Jessica said, smiling.

"Yeah." I said, "The big secrets out."

She glanced over my shoulder towards the door, then stepped in to hug me.

"I'm so glad I can talk to her about it now." she sighed.

"Just... be careful." I warned, "Don't tell her too much."

"Don't worry, I'll keep all the kinky stuff out of it." she laughed.

I smiled at the phrase.

"Ok, good." I said. "Oh, if you still need to talk about it... the kinky stuff, I mean, just tell me next time. In fact, I want you to do some research. I'll email you some stuff I want you to read about this kind of relationship."

I started mentally cataloguing the most useful blogs and information resources I knew about BDSM.

"So there's really like... a whole community about this?" she asked.

"Well, yeah." I said, "It's a pretty big subculture. There are probably hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of people who do things like this. Some people dabble, maybe use handcuffs occasionally, and some people live their whole lives like this..."

"It's pretty exciting, actually." she said, "I don't know... it's like... different."

"I thought you didn't want to be different?"

"Well I've always been different." she said, "At least now I know how I'm different. And besides, you're different too."

I smiled.

"Yeah I guess I am."

She leaned in to kiss me, but paused before our lips touched. She sighed slightly, then kissed my cheek. She pulled away, looking slightly disappointed.

I smiled wider, then pulled her into a deep kiss.

"Alright." I said pulling away, "Time to go."

"Bye Sir." she purred.

"Later, slut." I answered.

I headed out to the car, and Rose took us the long two minute drive home. We didn't talk much more about it, except for me telling her that I wanted things to remain secret. She knew, but that's as far as I wanted it to go. She seemed confused, but agreed not to tell anyone else. Although I think that was more for Jessica's benefit than for mine.

That night I went to my bag of tricks and looked over my collection of toys and tools. I was even more excited to try some of this stuff now, now that Jessica knew what she was actually getting in to.

I wanted to keep exploring the limits of our perversions. The limits of pain that her body could withstand and still find pleasurable. How much pain I could inflict and still enjoy. This wasn't going to be easy, and for me it would be a constant struggle against my own dormant anger, my own selfish desire to just rip her apart, I knew that.

But for now, she trusted me.

Let's see how long this can last, I thought.

*