1:23 Ch. 08

"Harriet is a total freak," Donny said.

"How you feeling" Barker asked.

"Randy as a ram in a hot summer barn full of sheep," Donny said.

Barker laughed as he lead Donny through a door that opened in an apartment hallway with more doors. Three women stepped out of one of the doors. He pegged them immediately, Penny, Amy and Bernadette from the 'The Big Bang Theory' TV series. The women yapped as they strolled to the door across the hall.

"Wow," Donny said and made to follow them.

"I think two shows in one day will do horn boy," Barker said as he gripped Donny's arm and dragged him toward the stairwell. Three flights later they were out on the street.

"Whoa. This is downtown Byle, Ohio," Donny said. Across Main Street was Bigger Than Your Face Burritos and Tacos. "Harriet must have eaten there. But I don't see how? I'm sure the place burned down a year before she hit town? They never reopened."

Dodging light traffic, Barker and Donny crossed the street. A pickup truck hit the brakes to keep from hitting Barker. The killer clown slapped at the hood leaving a dent. "I'm walkin' here! I'm walkin' here!" the clown yelled. The little old lady behind the wheel gave Barker the finger.

They entered the restaurant with the tinkling of a bell. The place was empty except for the help. "Sit, I got this," Barker said. As Donny settled in his favorite booth under the front window, Barker went to the counter and ordered. The dude at the counter didn't seem to care that Barker was an ugly nightmare clown. Weirdly, Barker paid with a credit card. The clown came to the booth sporting two Dos Equis, a basket of homemade tortilla chips and a bowl of signature green salsa.

"Um ... what did you order?" Donny asked.

"Two steak, red rice, black bean and Oaxaca cheese burrito specials." Barker delicately dipped a chip into the salsa then bit into it.

"This is good," the clown said dipping a second chip.

"Best green salsa in Ohio," Donny said dipping a chip too.

Barker went at the chips with gusto. Donny found it hard to eat looking at Barker so he kept his eyes focused on the service counter.

"Wow, there's Mandy," Donny said.

"Mandy?" Barker asked with a full mouth, he turning to look.

"The owners daughter," Donny said. "Totally hot. She always gave me looks like she was interested but I never had the guts to ask her out."

Mandy came their way. "Hey Donny," she said. She was tallish, slim, dark brown skin, long brown hair, absolutely stunning in jeans and a tight sweater.

"Hey Mandy," he said shyly.

"More chips?" she asked looking at the near empty chip basket.

"Please," Barker said. His ugly mouth and the front of his orange military jacket were covered with crumbs.

She smiled at the clown like he was totally normal and went to get more chips.

"No way," Donny whispered as a gorgeous young African American woman stepped into the restaurant. She had long straight black hair and wore blue form fitting workout pants that showed off her spectacular waist, hips and butt. "That's Jenna Goldsmith. She works at the Byle Community Playhouse. She's the stage manager. I met her at a party last summer. I've been mooning over her ever since."

"Look at that one," Barker said as he sucked down some beer.

A stunning tall blond in jeans and a tight t-shirt entered the restaurant and stood in line behind Jenna Goldsmith.

"Unbelievable," Donny said. "That is Sarah Logan a local celebrity. She played in a rock and roll band with Ethan Grant and Katrina House. House and Grant are total big time now. Anyway Sarah is awesome. I hear she's a total lesbian. Saw her perform once at a biker bar. A fucking gnarly fight broke out. Sarah and the other chicks in her band went topless to stop the fight. It TOTALLY worked.

"That one's a looker too," Barker said looking out the window.

A woman in her forties was getting out of a parked silver Mercedes convertible. She had dark cascading hair, a wonderful full figure, pale skin and Mediterranean features. Her tight top displayed maximum cleavage. "Kathy Fish," Donny said. "My ballroom dance teacher from the community center. This is so weird. Why are all these chicks here in Harriet's fold?"

"Maybe you told her about them?" Barker said.

"Guess so," Donny said sounding doubtful.

Mandy arrived with the burrito specials. After handing out the plates she gave Donny a long wanton look, smiled then went back to the counter.

"Weird," Donny reiterated.

"This is good," Barker said with a full mouth.

"The best," Donny agreed biting into his burrito.

"Tell me," Barker said wiping his mouth with a paper napkin. "You got a fantasy you DIDN'T share with Harriet?"

Donny thought as he chewed. "The mother of dragons."

"Game of Thrones," Barker said. "Harriet has a thing for high profile celebs, try someone more obscure."

"Why?" Donny asked with a full mouth.

"Indulge me," Barker said finishing off his beer."

"Okay ... um got it. Alex Borgia."

"Who that?" Barker asked.

"She was one of the characters from the old Law And Order series. Wasn't on the show for very long but I always thought she was hot."

"Does she look like that?" Barker asked as a women in a white blouse, black skirt and heels stepped into the restaurant.

"That be her," Donny said as he took a gulp of beer.

"I knew it!" Barker yelled making Donny choke and spit beer. A big sharp toothed smile spread on the clown's face.

"What?"Donny asked wiping his mouth.

"I purposely dragged you through one of Harriet's secret sex rooms to fire you up! This is awesome!"

The clown was even more frightening in his sudden glee. Donny considered running for the door.

"Okay! Okay Okay! Deep breath ... deep breath," Barker said calling for calm. After several deep breaths he said, "Picture me different."

"What you mean,?"

"Close your eyes Donny boy and envision me ANYWAY you want."

"But why?"

"Just do it!" the clown yelled slamming his hands on the table top.

"Alright!" Donny yelled back. He closed his eyes. A vision came to him immediately then he opened his eyes. "Shit! Noway!"

"You did it?" Barker asked feeling his face. "Who am I?"

"You ain't gonna like it," Donny said totally scared now.

"Need a mirror!" Barker said and headed to the bathroom. Seconds later there was a yell from the bathroom.

"I'm so fucked," Donny said. He slipped out of the booth to head for the door when Barker burst out of the bathroom.

"You made me into Tony Soprano?" Barker yelled.

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! You're scary! His scary! He just came to mind!" Donny said as Barker now Soprano marched toward him.

Donny shut his eyes and hoped that the death blow wouldn't hurt too much. Big hands gripped Donny's shoulders and he was pulled in for a crushing bear hug. Next he knew he was staggered back. When he opened his eyes he saw that Barker was smiling and crying all at once.

"What the fuck?" Donny asked confused and freaked out.

"You Donny boy have your very own fold," Barker said with red teary eyes.

********

Blue ... blue ... blue

... the cerulean void went on forever ... Harriet wondered how long she had been drifting ... days? Gotta be a week at least.

"Ten seconds in," came a voice from everywhere.

"In what?" Harriet asked.

No answer came. With nothing to do but think she worried about ... about what? Her thoughts seem to be avoiding her, drifting like her body in the blue void. She focused and found a pesky elusive thought ... Imperial Corp knows about the sex thing. They know everything.

"Yes they do," came a voice from her right ... no left.

A woman in a snug black dress down to mid thigh, black tights and black boots stood before her. Harriet realized there was a ground. She focused in on the woman ... it was Mila Kunis ... how weird.

"Close," Mila said. "Theodora, wicked witch of the west." She held a hand out and Harriet shook it. "Welcome to Purgatory."

"Um ... what? I don't understand."

"Believe me death is TOTALLY disorienting."

"I'm not dead," Harriet stated although she wasn't sure of that.

"I am. You're just passing through."

"You died?" Harriet asked.

"Yep, killed by that bitch Kate that you sent after Kent Orlando." Theodora frowned. "You told Kate to delete your own fold too?"

"I didn't say anything ... and I don't know who Kate or what a fold is?"

"Don't bother denying I can read your mind," Theodora said. "Boy are YOU going to be popular when you show up in world." Theodora's features got sharper, her nose and chin seem to extend, her skin changed to a vivid technicolor green. "Good luck my pretty ... you're going to need it."

Everything went black, Harriet screamed and Theodora cackled. As the blackness turned a deep forest green Harriet tried to recall why she was in the dark and screaming.

"Shit! Why are you screaming?" came the voice from everywhere.

"Theodora?" Harriet asked more afraid of being alone in the dark than of the witch.

"Didn't get that," The voice said.

The dark green slowly lightened to a soft warm brown haze. A name surfaced in Harriet's head. LIDIA. Then it all came to her. She was wearing the Brain Tube and she was in Kent's deprived sexual universe. The world solidified around her. She was standing in an office hall that looked a lot like the halls at the Honolulu University science department only it went on forever in both directions. Doors lined the hall on both sides. She read the plastic plaque on the door nearest her, BOTTOMLESS OFFICE. A woman, clutching a batch of folders to her chest stepped out the door.

"What?" Harriet said in surprise when she saw that it was Karen Pena the attractive mix Filipino receptionist from the science lab front office. She looked her usual perfect self in a nice white blouse but that was it, bellow she wore nothing. The exposed skin of her lower belly and thighs were a pleasing medium brown. As Harriet would expect from a person like Karen Pena, her pubic hair was trimmed and neat.

"I must be in one of Kent's stupid fantasies," Harriet said aloud.

"I got that," Lidia said in her head from back in the lab.

"Harriet? " Karen Pena asked startled.

"Um ... hey," Harriet said lamely. The strange urge to take off her jeans overwhelmed her.

"Don't fight it," Pena said. "Just do it and you'll be free to think of other things."

"This ain't real," Harriet said even as she took Pena's advice and unsnapped her jeans. "How do you know what I'm thinking?" She vaguely recalled that the wicked witch was able to read her thoughts in purgatory.

"You're not blocking your thoughts," Pena said. "My goodness! We must tell Lovecraft about this! You need to come to the war room with me!"

"The what room?" Harriet asked as she dropped her pants. The act of removing her jeans in front of Pena thrilled her to no end. With shaking hands she slid down the panties too. Pena was right, she could actually think clearly now.

"What room are you referring to?" Lidia asked.

"Can you hear Lidia?" Harriet asked Pena

"I can hear you THINKING about someone named Lidia," Pena said then her eyes went wide with wonder. "Are you in communication with someone from your world?"

"Um ... yeah," Harriet said.

"You solved the time differential! Brilliant!" Pena said and hugged Harriet on impulse and yet somehow not drop her load of files. When their naked lower fronts brushed a dirty thrill rippled through Harriet. "That will go a long way to defeating Kate!" Pena said pulling back.

"Kate?" Harriet asked. Theodora mentioned someone named Kate.

"Kate ... KHT ... the Killer Hive Tracker from Imperial Corporation. They'll fill you in at the war room. Come." Pena continued down the hall and Harriet fell in behind her. It was impossible not to focus on the Filipino girl's butt. It was so perfectly brown and cute.

"You're mind is wide open and easy to read," Pena said. "You are enjoying going bottomless and sexually reacting to my cute brown butt. Apparently, you have been harboring a latent lesbian crush for me for some time."

Shocked and embarrassed, Harriet reacted with bluster. "This is stupid! I NEED to find Kent Orlando!"

"He is headed for the center of his fold as we speak," Pena said. Harriet had to pick up the pace as the girl was nearly running.

"What is a fold?" Harriet asked.

"You want me to fold something?" Lidia asked. "Hang on, your computer just beeped. It's your your messenger avatar. I'll get back ... hang on."

"In essence a fold is an individuals sexual desires made real. As time passes, a fold matures beyond that"

"And this place is Kent's fold right" Harriet asked.

"Silly, this is YOUR fold," Pena said.

That stopped Harriet in her tracks. Several steps later Pena stopped to look back at her. "This is your fold Harriet Kono ... and you don't know that ..." Pena's expression turned to shock. "It was YOU that ordered KHT to destroy us. You are our creator ... WHY would you do that?"

"Um ... I didn't know what I was doing at the time," Harriet said feeling guilty and defensive. She rolled her eyes. I'm wasting time playing this game, she thought.

"This is no game," came a voice from behind her.

Harriet turned and found herself face to face with Reese Whitherspoon dressed as some kind of warrior knight.

"Why did you create me?" Whitherspoon asked, her cheeks flushed with anger.

Harriet hugged herself as the hall grew VERY cold. "I don't know who the hell you are suppose to be," Harriet said loosing her patience.

"Be careful Harriet," came another female voice. Sasha Grey her messenger avatar was suddenly in the hall next to her. Harriet had no idea where she came from. Sasha continued, "Queen Elsa may be your creation but she is no pushover."

"Queen Elsa?" Harriet asked totally confused. A vague memory came to her of how she imagined Reese Whitherspoon playing Queen Elsa in a live action sex fantasy. She shook her head of the distraction and said vehemently, "I NEED you to find Kent for me Sasha!"

"I can't. KHT is keeping me from him," Sasha said. "I managed to get word out to someone in the lab name Lidia. We had a short talk before the link was cut."

"Lidia was sent from Imperial after they shutdown a parallel project," Harriet said. "She is working the KHT angle. Lidia report! Lidia you there?"

"Why did you send KHT to kill us," Pena asked.

"She did what?" Elsa asked. Her eyes narrowed as she read Harriet's mind and saw it was true.

"I don't have time for this," Harriet said. "I have to stop KHT form wiping out my work!"

"WE are your work you callas bitch!" Elsa yelled.

Harriet had had enough. Her skin glowed red hot as she called up her firebrand persona that had gotten her out of a tough spot before.

Sasha stepped in between Harriet and Elsa. "Harriet is here. With her we have hope. Please your majesty, put this aside for now. Harriet, please turn off the fire."

"Sasha, you have to find—"

"We are at war for our survival," Sasha said rounding on Harriet. She didn't raise her voice but her tone was firm. "Whatever you may think this is about, let me assure you, we are real, alive and dying. We need your help."

This is bullshit, Harriet thought.

"And everyone can read your thoughts," Sasha said. "You best remedy that before we meet with Lovecraft."

"I don't—"

"Think of a song and get it rolling in your head," Sasha said. "It will block your thoughts." She looked at Karen Pena "The bottomless rule has been lifted by the clowns for the duration."

Pena shrugged. "I'm from the bottomless door. Regardless of the clown council we go bare assed there all the time. I'm used to it."

Sasha gave Harriet's bare bottom a quizzical look.

"She likes the depravity," Elsa said with obvious contempt.

Harriet blushed and quickly sorting songs in her head.

"Do you think this Lidia person can help with KHT?" Elsa asked.

"Um ... don't know," Harriet said.

"According to Lidia, KHT is causing serious damage at corporate headquarters," Sasha said.

Harriet found the perfect song, the Beatles 'Octopus Garden.'

A door opened a long way off and a figure came marching down the hall toward the gathered women. As the figure neared, Harriet's eyes widened and her heart rate doubled. She fell in behind Sasha to hide like a scared child.

"You okay?" Sasha asked.

"Make it go away," Harriet whispered with her eyes shut tight.

"Make what go away?" Sasha asked perplexed.

"Queen Elsa, Sasha, Lovecraft and the war council require your presents."

"Oh," Sasha said seeing that the messenger was a nightmare clown.

Sasha waved for Elsa and Karen Pena to go with the clown leaving Sasha alone with Harriet.

"Is it gone?" Harriet asked.

"The clowns are many and they rule here," Sasha said. "You're going to have to get a grip and face them."

"Why are they here? Where did they come from?" Harriet asked with a pathetic whine in her voice.

"From your base fears." Sasha said. "You're not here to keep them in check."

"This is my fold thing right?" Harriet asked in a panic. "I can make them go away right?"

"Not easily at this point but yes, ultimately you could," Sasha said. "But the clowns are the only force in your fold strong enough to hold back KHT. We need them Harriet."

A door burst open way down the hall and a big monster of a clown dressed in colorful army fatigues came their way, behind him were more clowns.

Sasha sighed. "So much for easing you in. That be Lovecraft head killer clown."

"Oh my god," Harriet said in a shaky whisper.

Lovecraft and his entourage stopped ten feet from Harriet and Sasha. At his side was the Whitherspoon Queen Elsa and bottomless Karen Pena, behind them a host of ugly clowns. Harriet wanted to cower behind Sasha and shut her eyes. Better yet, she should yell for Lidia to pull the Brain Tube off her head! Let KHT deal with these nightmares! Destroy them! Wipe them out!

Lovecraft glowered down at her from his stupendous height. Harriet vacillated between puking and passing out. The giant clown of her nightmares dropped to both knees and lowered his head. "Save us Goddess of us all," he whispered.

"We better find you some pants," Sasha whispered to Harriet.