A Ghost of a Chance

Annie gave Cal's arm a squeeze, "I'm glad. Cal, you're doing a great job with them."

Cal nodded. She hadn't expected to share so much with Annie.

Annie patted Cal's arm, "Next week? Same time?"

Cal smiled, "Same bat time, same bat channel!"

"Oh -- I was going to lug the treatment table back to my office, but I'm thinking maybe I should just leave it here? Would that be okay?"

Cal nodded, "I'll put it in the corner once I've bundled up all that cardboard for recycling."

"You will do no such thing. Didn't I say that you're not allowed to move heavy objects around? What's all this cardboard for?"

"Packaging for my new bed -- my brothers helped me put it together today. I sold our... my old one in Baltimore. Couldn't really throw it away, but couldn't keep it." Cal's throat started to constrict, the memory of abandoning the bed she and Becca shared tore through her heart.

Annie immediately understood and tactfully turned her attention to the packaging, "Go do bedtime stuff -- I'll clean up in here."

Cal was fighting to hold her tears in. The words Annie said were so prosaic, but they packed a punch. Cal had felt so alone for so long, and Annie's offer of help resonated with echoes of what it was like when there'd been two adults present for 'bedtime stuff.'

"Go," Annie said gently.

"Thanks," Cal managed to eke out, her voice wobbling just a little. She escaped into the bathroom and helped the twins brush their teeth. When the kids padded out in their pajamas, Annie was putting her shoes on, the cardboard packaging neatly stacked in a pile by the door.

"Say good night to Annie, guys" Cal said, her tears contained for the moment.

The twins swarmed Annie in a hug that pretty much cemented Jamie- and Adrian-sized imprints on Annie's heart, "Wow! What great goodbye hugs!"

"Okay kids, you can each choose a book and then get into bed, I'll come in in a second. Annie, thanks again, for everything..." Cal fought the urge to hug Annie.

"It was awesome Cal, I had fun. See you next week." Annie closed the door quietly behind her and headed out.

Cal stared at the front door. I wish you could stay. Suddenly, a wave of guilt and shame swept over her, "Sorry Becca," she muttered under her breath, "Sorry. I'm being an idiot."

--Chapter 3: The Final PT Session (Mid-August)--

Cal looked at her watch for the hundredth time that afternoon. Time had been inching forward as if it had been sedated by a strong narcotic. Her children didn't notice as they were happily playing a rousing game of Uno with their grandmother. Becca's mom was in town to help them get ready for the drive down to Baltimore the next day.

"UNO!" Shouted Jamie, her little hand clutching her last card.

May Chen laughed, "There's no way I can win this one, I fold!" She surrendered her collection of cards to the center of the table.

Cal smiled and looked at her watch again. May raised her eyebrows, "A watched pot never boils. Why are you being so impatient? Are you worried your physical therapist won't show up?"

Cal blushed, "No! Just planning out the next sixteen hours -- we still have a lot of packing to do before hitting the road tomorrow."

Cal was lying through her teeth; she was antsy because this was her last session with Annie. The shoulder problem had been resolved, and their last two sessions had mostly been conditioning rather than therapy. When Annie had declared Cal "cured", all Cal could think about was ways to re-injure herself to keep the sessions going.

In the time since Annie started working on Cal's shoulder, their weekly sessions had stretched from PT-session-plus-dinner-with-the-kids to PT-session-plus-dinner-and-bedtime-with-the-kids. Annie sometimes even stayed beyond bedtime and helped Cal clean up. There was always something to talk about, and Cal had come to look forward to the weekly routine. Annie had revealed enough in their conversations to make it clear she was gay, but Cal never saw any signs that Annie was interested. Cal's attraction to Annie had not diminished, but she had better control over it now. Annie, for her part, did her best to remain professional, but lavished affection and attention on Jamie and Adrian in a way that warmed Cal's heart.

Now, almost two months later, their weekly routine was something everyone looked forward to.

"Mommy, I get to introduce Annie to Paw-Paw, okay?" Adrian piped up.

"Sure, kiddo," Cal nodded.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwww!" Jamie whined, "That's so not fair."

Adrian grinned, bursting with happiness at having one-upped his sister.

"Then I get to do stories with Annie. That's fair," Jamie shouted.

"Fine," Adrian shrugged, "I'll do stories with Paw-paw."

The loud buzzing of the intercom interrupted the siblings who jumped up and ran to the door.

May was intrigued. She had not expected such pent-up anticipation from Cal or the kids for what she had thought would be a routine session of physical therapy. A sudden intuition nestled itself in the back of her mind. Soon, she too waited for the front door to open with bated breath.

The spark of intuition flared into a full-on flame of understanding when Annie stepped through the threshold. May saw her grandchildren leap onto a pretty brunette who enveloped them in a loving hug. She also saw her daughter-in-law hungrily drink in the sight of the woman in the doorway.

May's heart ached at seeing the four of them, presenting such a different picture than when Becca was alive. Her heart was also beating happily, and with relief, as this picture -- new and unfamiliar -- held a promise that May very much wanted for Cal and the kids. May sent a hug and kiss out into the ether towards Becca, confident that her late daughter would have wished for this, too.

"Oh my goodness," exclaimed Annie, "Have you guys grown since last week? How old are you guys now? Eighteen?"

The twins collapsed into giggles, "No, we are still six and a half!"

"Silly me," Annie straightened up, "Hey Cal."

"Hi," Cal grinned.

Adrian started jumping up and down, "And this is Paw-paw! And this is Paw-paw! She's Mama's mama!" He shouted, pointing at May.

Annie turned to see an elegant older Chinese woman approach, the resemblance between her and Becca was unmistakable. "I'm Annie," she extended her hand.

"I'm May. 'Paw-paw' is Chinese for maternal grandmother, by the way," May smiled warmly as she shook Annie's hand.

Annie nodded, "Yes -- that is one of maybe five Cantonese words that I know. My best friend is Chinese. Her Paw-paw lives in Hong Kong!"

"No wayyyyy!" Jamie's eyes were wide with amazement.

"Way!" Annie laughed.

Cal laughed too. She turned to Annie,"We should get started. May, we'll be about an hour."

May shooed them off, "Go, I'll take these guys out to the park. Are we having dinner here? Or out?"

"I wanna do Annie's dragon bowls!" Adrian jumped around some more.

"Yeah!!!!" Jamie started jumping too.

Cal looked at Annie, "Up for some dragon bowls, Belle?"

Annie was so shocked with Cal calling her 'Belle' that she nodded robotically. The kids didn't notice her momentary lapse of attention, and rained high-fives on Annie. Of all the nicknames that Annie collected over the years, 'Belle' had been one of her least favorites. It had not occurred to her that she'd like it. But hearing it come out of Cal's mouth elicited an entirely different reaction. Mostly it was the way Cal said it: not in a cursive, flimsy, dimunitive way, but in a declarative, bold yet tender way. It echoed in Annie's head in the immediate moments afterwards. She desperately wanted to hear it again.

Cal helped May herd the twins to get ready to go outside, all the while kicking herself for calling Annie 'Belle.' It had been an endearment she'd tossed about in her head, but she had never meant for it to be uttered. The saving grace to the gaffe was that Annie seemed unfazed by it. Probably something lots of people call her, Cal thought to herself as they headed to the master bedroom.

"May seems lovely," Annie commented as she heard the front door shut, trying desperately to shake herself out of the enchantment Cal threw over her. She busied herself with the treatment table.

Cal nodded, "She's awesome. She's been amazing through these past two years. I couldn't wish for a better mother-in-law. Extra bonus: she curses like a sailor and is funny as hell -- kind of runs against stereotype."

"What? Chinese people aren't funny?" Annie teased, finally reclaiming some sanity.

Cal pouted, "You know what I meant!"

"Do I? It sounded like you were saying that generally, people from the most populous country on earth aren't funny..." Annie nodded to the table, "Up you get... on your right side. I mean, I would think that with just over one billion people, you'd find at least a million who knew how to crack a joke?"

"Now you're just being mean," Cal groused as she stretched out on the table as Annie instructed, "You are being mean to a sad old widow, you know that, right?"

Since their sessions restarted, Cal's banter had slowly reverted to the more playful and self-deprecating tone that she used to take back when she first became Annie's patient four years ago. Annie chalked it up to their growing comfort with each other, but she had been careful to not respond in kind, not wanting drop her professional demeanor and give off any hint of her feelings for Cal. If either one of them were to be honest, the depth and ease of their interactions were actually rooted in something truly notable: Annie had become one of few people with whom Cal and the kids could talk about Becca -- jokingly, even -- without it being awkward. Perhaps it was due to both of their efforts to mask their true feelings for each other, but Annie's growing presence in their lives had evolved so seamlessly that none of them really noticed the new reality: that by any measure, Annie had become a part of the family.

Right at that moment, Annie felt bolder than usual in terms of the way she wanted to respond Cal's humorous bellyaching. Annie was still buzzing from Cal's earlier verbal caress and knew full well that it was their last ever session. More importantly, Cal and the kids were headed to Baltimore for two weeks the next day. Whatever risk she took would be immediately attenuated by the distance and time apart.

With deliberate movements, Annie placed one hand near Cal's head, and the other on Cal's upper arm. She then leaned down and whispered in Cal's ear, "Hmmm, is that so? What are you going to do about it, Warner?"

Cal almost screamed with shock. The proximity of Annie's lips to her ear and the flirtatious tone of her question sent Cal's heart rate into high orbit, and she certainly was not prepared to open her eyes to see Annie's face within kissing distance.

Annie noted Cal's carotid artery's reaction. Oh, she liked that! A thrill zig-zagged through her body as she straightened up and chuckled, "What is it Cal? Cat got your tongue?"

Is Annie flirting with me? Regardless of Annie's intentions, Cal felt the now familiar stirrings of unmistakable lust rising within her. As she always did, she told herself to keep her cool, to try and get through the end of the session without making a fool out of herself.

"No, I was trying to think up my retaliation options but failed. I'm weak and defenseless." Cal was quite proud that she managed to pull that one out of thin air.

"Weak and defenseless?" Annie scoffed, "You're selling yourself short. I think you are pretty amazing."

She thinks I'm amazing? Keep your ego in check, Cal, she's just being nice. Cal blinked several times, trying to clear her head, "Check in with me tomorrow after the drive to Baltimore. I'm pretty sure there'll be lots of words to describe me at that point, and not one of them will be 'amazing'."

Annie shrugged, "Road trips with kids are hard. I know my sister has fleeting fantasies of child abandonment every summer when she drives her family from Philly to upstate New York."

The two of them talked about the perils of travelling with children before drifting into a comfortable silence. Cal grunted every once in a while when Annie pushed the limit of her shoulder's strength or flexibility, but neither one had the temerity to return to their earlier flirtation again. It was almost as if each of them felt the warmth of the flame of their chemistry, but neither was brave enough to fan it further.

"Okay, my friend," Annie gave Cal's shoulder a squeeze as she finished one last stretch, "We are done."

Cal remained on the table, reluctant to get up, "Thank you. You are a miracle worker."

"It was my pleasure. You were an exemplary patient!"

The two women regarded each other. Cal sat up and rubbed her face, "The kids will miss you." Not the whole truth...

"I'll miss them too," Annie acknowledged, "Maybe I can take them out to do something special when you guys come back from Baltimore."

Cal's face brightened, "Really? That'd be awesome!"

Annie nodded, "I'll do some research on what the options are and you can tell me which one's the most appropriate."

"Deal!" Cal jumped off the table, "Oh, wait..."

"What?"

Cal blushed, "I just realized I don't have your number... you know, to get in touch when we get back."

"Oh -- I have yours -- from your patient profile. I'll shoot you a text," Annie smiled, "I'm assuming you consent to me using that information for personal reasons...?"

"Consent willingly given. I'm not a big texter by the way -- so if I don't respond immediately, it's not because I'm being rude, it's just not in my DNA to text back and forth obsessively."

"You say that like you're someone who's drowning in texts! Who's sending you such an avalanche of messages?"

"No one recently, but someone set me up on this really awkward date in Baltimore, and afterwards, the woman texted me this entire thesis of why she thought she and I were destined to be BFFL, whatever that means. My phone wouldn't stop buzzing. It was overwhelming. Ever since then, I just do a public service announcement about my aversion to texts."

Annie burst out laughing, "BFFL. That's 'Best Friends For Life.' I don't think that person had a texting problem. I think she had an unrealistic-expectations-problem. Hold on, you went on a date?!"

"Yeah, and it's not something I'm willing to revisit any time soon. I've kind of developed an allergy to dating and engaging with other human beings." Cal rubbed her eyes; she hadn't meant to sound so misanthropic. She looked at Annie, "Human beings other than you, of course." Oh god, that just made it worse. "I mean, not in the dating sense but... ugh, you know what I mean."

Annie gave Cal's arm a reassuring pat, "Yes, I know what you mean. You've got a lot going on -- you don't need to explain yourself to me. That date was clearly not meant to be, which is all that matters, really." That's one nameless, faceless rival out of the way....

Cal wondered whether Annie was flirting with her again, but was too distracted by the warmth of Annie's hand on her forearm. Cal nodded and cleared her throat, "Right. Um. Let's get those dragon bowls set up... they'll be home soon..."

Annie followed Cal into the kitchen and set up a buffet of ingredients for the kids to build their bowls with: rice, seaweed, veggies, grilled chicken, tofu, edamame, and chickpeas. She stole glances at Cal as they prepped for the meal, kicking herself for falling for someone who so obviously had no interest in anything beyond friendship.

"Isn't it funny how the kids won't eat each of these things if you put them on a plate in front of them, but give them the agency to mix it all up in a bowl and they gobble it up like they've never had food before?" Cal started chopping some carrots.

"This is by far the best head-fake I've seen you execute. It's masterful." Annie smiled.

"Have you also noticed that the kids, for some reason, think you came up with this?"

"Of course! Have you noticed that I haven't corrected them?"

Cal swatted Annie with a dish towel just as May returned with the twins. The two women continued working side by side in the kitchen, chatting comfortably with each other.

"Looks like you guys have done this before!" May commented lightly as the kids washed their hands.

"This is gonna be AWESOME, Paw-paw," Adrian said, "You have to try it!"

The twins' capacity for food surpassed May's expectations -- they had seconds, then thirds, then fourths. When they'd picked up every last grain of rice from their bowls, May couldn't help but clap. "It's like you guys ate enough to last through a nuclear winter!"

Cal chuckled, "If you guys are done, it's time to get in the shower... right after you bring your dishes to the sink."

"Remember I get Annie for stories tonight!" Jamie yelled as she ran into the kitchen. Adrian followed, letting his dishes drop with a crash before allowing Cal to shoo him into the bathroom.

"Do you guys do this every week?" May asked as she rinsed out Adrian's plate.

Annie nodded happily as she started cleaning up.

"You've got quite a fan club," May smiled at Annie.

"I'm a big fan of theirs too! You've got amazing grand-kids, May," Annie smiled back at the older woman.

May put down a plate and turned towards Annie, "I wasn't just talking about the twins."

Annie stared at the older woman. She couldn't come up with a response. Eventually, she managed to shake her head, "No, no, I don't think so. I wouldn't... I mean, I haven't... um, it's not like that."

"Ah, so you like her too!" May raised her eyebrows.

"May! Wait! No, please," Annie pleaded, now worried that Cal would emerge from the bathroom at any moment, "It's really not like that."

"Listen," May sighed, "When Rebecca got sick, Cal went on auto-pilot. She did everything she could for my daughter and the kids. Cal was so run down by the end that if it weren't for the kids, I'm sure she would have wanted to waste away. But she becomes the old Cal -- alive and happy -- when you're in the room. I didn't think I'd see her like that again. I'm glad to see it again."

May paused, tears threatening to surface. She put a hand on Annie's arm. May looked into Annie's eyes, "You understand me?"

Annie heard the miniscule tremor in the older woman's voice. Tears brimmed in her eyes too, "Yes. I understand," Annie allowed. Holy shit, what the hell am I supposed to do now? She's basically just given me her blessing to date Cal. Holy shit.

"May," Annie said quietly, "You know nothing has happened, right?"

"I have no doubt that nothing has happened. That one," May cocked her head towards the bathroom, "Is stubborn as hell. Don't get me wrong, I will never fully recover from my daughter's... from what happened. Never. But it doesn't mean I don't want Cal to find happiness again."

"I don't think Cal wants anything to happen; I'm not even sure she really likes me that way."

May wiped her eyes, "No, no, Annie. No need for equivocation. Especially with this. Trust me. Cal likes you that way. I can tell. She just needs a giant fucking smack upside the head. So feel free to give it to her. Got it?"

"Okay, May," Annie chuckled, "I got it."

"Good." May nodded and went back to the dishes.

"Good what?" Cal asked as she walked in. She handed Annie 'The Snail and The Whale'.

"Just imparting some old Chinese wisdom," May said nonchalantly, "Where's my book?"

"Here," Cal handed a second book to May, "Sorry, you drew the short straw."

May groaned, "Why does he ALWAYS pick 'The Five Hundred Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins'? Annie, want to trade? I can't carry my enthusiasm past hat number fifty. Let alone the five hundredth."