A Heart Divided Ch. 06

Gina was on her back, her breasts pushing proudly towards the sky. I was next to her, on my side. I leaned over her, touching her cheek with my hand as our tongues danced slowly together. Her soft moans as we kissed fueled my lust for her, and I reached a hand under her shirt. My hand went all the way up her spine to her neck, encountering only smooth skin the whole way. When had she taken her bra off? I lifted my head and glanced around, seeing it on the ground next to the picnic basket.

Gina unbuttoned my shirt and put her hands on my chest, rubbing along my ribs. Our breathing was heavy, and we each felt the thick buzz of the wine clouding our judgment. But I was sure that even sober we would chasing the same thing. I felt confident that we had privacy, and even if we were interrupted, it was highly unlikely- almost inconceivable- that it would be by anyone we knew. We were just two lovers, finding time to enjoy time together in nature.

Gina's hips were slowly beginning to grind and push up, meeting only air. I moved a hand down to lower her pants. She gasped as my finger began to caress her folds. She broke our kiss and panted as I rubbed. She moaned when I lightly touched her clit. My own arousal was becoming urgent, and as I kissed Gina's neck, I mumbled, "Should we..."

"Hell yes!" was her throaty response as she tugged at my belt.

"I don't think anyone will..." I began.

"I don't care if they do. I need more."

Sliding her pants all the way off, she sighed as she took hold of my cock through my briefs. I pulled my pants down far enough to free my shaft and got between Gina's legs. I paused, her hand on my stiffness, lightly pulling it towards her needy warmth.

"Gina, I wasn't planning for us to...ah...do you have a condom?"

Eyes closed, she was breathing heavy. "No."

"Then maybe we should...just...how about I lick you?"

"No...No, Gareth. No. Just promise me you'll pull out. I can't wait. I need you inside me. I'm so ready. Push inside me Gareth, let me feel you...please." By then, my tip was nestled against her opening.

Part of me knew this was a bad idea. I had never pulled out before and didn't like the idea. But Gina wanted me, and we were both so ready, the moment so perfect. The wine in my head assured me that everything would be fine. Gina opened her eyes, which were cloudy from the sexual high and the alcohol. "Please?" she whispered, lightly stroking me. "I trust you."

I pushed forward, gasping as I felt her warmth surround me. I had been inside her like this before- always for a few seconds as she came after I had gotten her close with my tongue. But we had never done this- me stroking inside her, pushing deep, moving around without any protection. Gina's hips started pushing up, taking me deep.

"Gina," I groaned, "wait." She paused, and I closed my eyes. I heard her heavy breathing just in front of my face. "Wait...I'm...I'm too close."

"Already?" she panted, her excitement palpable and mixing with frustration.

"Just give me a minute. This...you...you feel amazing. I feel like my heart is going to burst."

"As long as that's the only thing that bursts while you're inside me," she joked.

I took some deep breaths and felt my heart slowing. Once I no longer felt like I was on the edge, I started small, shallow thrusts into her. It had been since July- nine months- since I had had sex without a condom, and never with Gina. The feeling of her tunnel pressing around me, the ridges rubbing me with every stroke, her lips pulling against me as I backed up- I couldn't get over how good it felt. I loved knowing there was nothing at all between us.

Gina seemed to feel the same way. She pushed her hands under my shirt and gripped my back. Lifting her pussy up towards me, she grunted into my mouth with every thrust. After a few minutes, she paused, mouth wide open, and groaned. Her whole body squeezed mine, and I could feel small spasms around the base of my cock, which was pushed inside her to the hilt. It was a small orgasm, and I enjoyed watching her tremble and gasp in my arms. I could have cum with just one solid push into her as she pulsed around me, but I forced myself to hold still and let us both calm down.

"That one took me by surprise," she said softly. I was cradling her head in the palm of my hand, my other hand running slowly up and down her side under her shirt. "I've never done this before...never without a condom."

I was surprised, and I guess my reaction showed.

"I'm serious. I've always been safe. But wow...it feels...so different. I feel like it's really you inside me now. A part of your body really is deep inside me. That's amazing. It's so...so...intimate."

Not able to think of anything appropriate to say, I leaned down and kissed her- slowly, deeply, gently. Our breathing quickened and I started thrusting again. Our short respite had taken off my edge, and I was hoping I could help Gina reach another climax before I had to pull out. Knowing that this wasn't the best position for her, I pushed up with my elbow and rolled us over.

Gina didn't start moving at first but instead lay her head on my shoulder and put her hands on my chest. Just as I was about to ask what she was thinking, she started moving her hips around. Seeming to find the right angle, she groaned and began dragging herself back and forth across me. We moved like that for a while, pausing every couple of minutes to catch our breath. Gina commented that it was like a dream- being outside like that, feeling my fullness inside her, hearing the birds and feeling the wind.

I started pushing up into her, knowing I would need to cum soon. Gina sensed that and mumbled next to my ear, "I bet you're about ready, aren't you?"

"Yeah," I grunted, "I've been close for a while. You?"

"Gimme just a minute," she said, wiggling around. With my pants around my knees, I didn't have much mobility, but as long as Gina was moving, I would be fine. "I've been building up for a while- I think it's going to be a big one," she said slowly.

"Good," I exhaled, hoping I could help get her there.

After she had been writhing on top of me for a minute, pressing her clit to my pubic bone, Gina whispered urgently, "My breasts, baby, touch my boobs."

I wasted no time in pushing both hands up her shirt and grasping her full bosom. She groaned at the contact, and when I took a nipple between my fingers, she cried out and pushed hard against me. I knew I was getting dangerously close, and when she started pushing harder...faster...I could only think about holding it in. I took my hands of her breasts and grabbed her hips to pull her up. I had to pull out. But just as I grabbed her hips, Gina collapsed on top of me and spread her legs back. My knees were trapped, and the brief panic of that kept me from cumming.

But then after two long, drawn-out thrusts that took me deep inside her, Gina started cumming. It was a big one, like she had said, and her tunnel squeezed around me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, wanting to let her ride out her pleasure. She continued to push down on me, and the pleasure was too much. As she was shaking on top of me, grabbing my body with her arms, she said for the first time, "Gareth, I love you!"

I don't know if it was the emotion of that moment, hearing her confess her love, or if it was the exquisite sensation of her gripping and milking me in her depths, but that was all it took to push me over the edge. Her hips were moving and I couldn't get a hold of them. She was pushing down so hard I couldn't pull back. And she felt so right, so perfect, that I didn't want to pull out. I pushed up into her and released. I felt myself spend inside her, once...twice...

"Gina! ngAHHH! Off! Off!" I don't think she understood what was happening at first, still caught up in her own climax. I was pushing inside her to cum and at the same time trying to get out. I finally got hold of her ass as it clenched tight and I pulled her up. I still released a few small ropes of cum onto my stomach, but I knew that they were only afterthoughts of what had been planted inside her.

We were silent for a minute, save for the heavy breathing of our descent. Gina remained on top of me, my stiffness pressed between us. After the intensity of the last minute or two, simply lying there listening to the ducks and the breeze was otherworldly. It felt like I was floating back down to earth after having left the atmosphere. Gina was the first to move, touching my lips with hers. We kissed softly, tenderly. I found her breasts again and rubbed them slowly.

Eventually, she rolled off of me and looked around for her pants. Pulling them on, she reclined next to me and said without accusation, "You came in me, didn't you?"

"A little. I started to. It was...it was just so sudden and so good. God, I'm sorry Gina."

She was quiet for a moment, trying to determine how she felt. "I'm not bothered, really. It was just once, and just a little bit. And to be honest, I didn't want you to pull out. I heard you, but I couldn't stop. I need to feel you inside me when I cum, and that's all my body would let me consider."

Still lying down, I pulled up my pants and asked, "Gina, are you opposed to birth control? Because I would pay to have you on the pill."

She was quiet for a moment, then answered, "I've just never been able to afford it- I'm not opposed to it. But I've also never been in the kind of relationship where I didn't want the guy wearing a condom. I've never had anything that...special...like with you."

I pulled her to me in an embrace. Then a thought occurred to me. "By the way, Lynn found a condom in the guest bed. Do you know anything about that?"

Gina's eyes went wide and she put her hand to her mouth. "Ohmygod. I forgot about that one! What did you say?"

"I played it off as being from a couple who stayed with us a year ago. But why was it in the guest room? We never go there."

"I slept there once..." she said, hinting.

"Yeah, but that was New Year's Eve. We had only just kissed. We weren't..." and then her implication hit me. "Holy shit. You mean if I had knocked on your door that night..."

"No guarantees, but I was very open to the idea...and a little hopeful...But in the end, I'm glad we took it slower. It showed me you weren't just looking to get laid. Even if I was...at first."

"At first?"

"I didn't expect to actually have feelings for you. I just wanted some release...and there was the whole taboo 'fucking the hot professor' element...but...I guess it's more than that now."

"Yeah, I guess it is," I said, still holding her. Neither of us mentioned what she had said when she was cumming- I was afraid to bring it up, lest she brush it off as the nonsense one speaks during orgasm. But I hoped...and worried. That afternoon I was able to forget Lynn, but as soon as I got home, I knew she...and all that baggage...would be waiting.

I realized Gina had drifted off to sleep with her head on my chest. Seeing no reason to do otherwise, I closed my eyes and joined her.

*******

The sound of my phone woke me up. It was a text from Lynn asking when I'd be home. I looked at the time- it was mid-afternoon. Gina was just stirring; we had slept for an hour. I ignored the message and started rubbing Gina's shoulder. She sighed and snuggled into my arms. About ten minutes later, Lynn sent another text asking if I wanted her to come to my office with dinner. Realizing that she was in pursuit mode, I knew I had to respond or the next thing would be a call- or a surprise visit to the office. I texted back that I would be home after dinner.

Gina asked me what was up, and I told her Lynn was trying to track me down and get together for dinner that evening.

"Oh," she said, obviously upset.

"So...do you want to out to dinner together?"

Gina tilted he head to look at me. "You're serious?"

"Yeah. The bitch disappeared for 9 months, she can't expect me to be available when she gets back."

Gina sat up, resting on one arm and looking at me. "Don't just use me to get back at her, Gareth. I'm not the nicest of girls, but I don't want to be...a homewrecker or anything."

Digging in the picnic baskets for some bottles of water, I said, "I'm mad at her, but I'm not using you. She doesn't even know why I'm saying no. I want to be with you this evening, not her."

Gina thought about that, then looked off at the trees and said, "But what about the times when you'd rather be with her?"

"I don't know that there will be times like that, Gina."

"You'll see, Gare. You're too angry with her now, but you'll see. I can't compete with all those years. If just the memory of her in the house got between us, what about when you're actually with her, in the house? If she really wants to be with you again, that's going to be hard for you to say no to."

We both drank water in silence; the crinkling of the plastic bottles was the only sound. Gina went on.

"Sooner or later you're going to have sex with her. Don't be naïve," she said as I opened my mouth to protest. "She's probably trying to make that happen already, especially if she thinks you've...you haven't been with anyone since she left. And if you're trying to maintain that illusion, you're going to have sex with her eventually- you can't give a reason not to."

"What if we leave? Just you and me...let's just leave together." She turned away when I suggested that. "I'm serious Gina. I tell Lynn it's over, we move in together for a few months while we finish the semester, then I get a job somewhere else and take you with me. It could work."

Gina started crying- not out of happiness. "Stop talking like that. You know that's not going to happen, and I don't even know if I want that. This is already way more than I expected, way more than I wanted. It's more than I feel comfortable with. And besides, I would never feel like you were over Lynn. It would be unresolved. You can tell her it's over, but in your heart it's not. And until it's over in your heart, there's not room enough for me, too."

"So you want..."

"I want you to figure out what you want. If it's me, fine, we can try to figure out what that means and see if I want you in the same way. I don't even know. If it's her...Fine. We end it and you go fix your marriage."

I let that sink in. I got up and we put everything back in the basket. It was a quiet walk through the second half of the trail. When we got to the end, the late afternoon sun was sinking behind the trees and there was a slight chill in the air.

"I don't want to go back," I said as we faced the parking lot. "Do you want to do another loop?"

"No...it's getting chilly. What I really want is to go somewhere and fuck like crazy so that I don't have to be thinking and feeling all this shit right now."

I mentally ran through some options and realized that, regardless of what I wanted, I needed to be home that evening.

"Dinner?" I asked again.

"No," she answered plainly, without explanation.

We marched out to our cars and parted ways with a simple kiss.

*******

Lynn was on the couch when I got home, a box of Chinese take-out in her lap and a movie playing on the TV.

"I thought you were going to be out later?" she said, evidently pleased to see me.

"Change of plans."

"I got extra," she said, indicating the food. "Want to join me?"

When I got to the couch, I could see she was wearing yoga pants and a tight, almost transparent tank top.

"I'm going to go for a run," I said, not trusting myself around her dressed like that.

"I'll join you," she said, hopping up.

I couldn't think of a reason to refuse her, but I warned her, "I'm not going to change my pace or routine. You can join me for as long as you can keep up."

She was stretching at the front door when I got back downstairs. We walked out the door and I started jogging towards campus. I was surprised that Lynn kept up as long as she did. I knew she was in good shape, but I never saw her running before. She hung with me all the way to campus. Running a longer distance felt good- my legs still needed stretching out after half-marathon from a few days earlier.

Looping around campus and heading back home, I saw Gina round the corner ahead of us. Apparently I wasn't the only one who had resorted to running that evening. Gina got closer and her eyes widened when she saw me. Lynn was right next to me, red-faced but keeping pace. Gina passed by without comment, though our eyes met and I widened my eyes to try to express my frustration. One block later and Lynn stopped. I jogged in place for a few seconds as she bent over, catching her breath and holding her side.

"I've never done more than 5 miles on the treadmill," she panted.

"Well, we're almost at 6 right now. There's another 3 to get home."

"You go ahead...I'll walk..."

I was ready for a break, but I was happy to leave Lynn behind. Soon afterwards, Gina came around the block in front of me again. She had obviously looped around to catch another look. I knew Lynn could still see me, so as Gina passed I said, "Loop around."

At the next corner, I turned right, then turned left with Gina, who had sprinted ahead to catch me. We walked a block together.

Gina spoke, "She's pretty. More so than in the pictures on your wall."

"She's not you."

"What's that mean?"

"I don't even know." Then after a minute of silence, I added, "She insisted on running with me- I was trying to get out of the house and work off some of that...extra energy."

"You should probably fuck her tonight and get it over with."

"No...I don't want to. Well, I do at one level, but my heart doesn't want to."

We kept glancing back in case Lynn was behind us. Not wanting to risk it anymore, we split off, and I jogged home. Lynn got back about 15 minutes after me- she had jogged part of the way. I was eating dinner over the counter when she got in.

Panting and glowing, she said, "Wow- we should do that more often. It's...invigorating. Give me a few weeks and I think I could keep up with you."

Mouth full, I grunted something non-committal.

"Shower with me?" she asked, taking off her shirt in the kitchen and pulling off her sports bra.

I swallowed. "No, Lynn. Not yet."

She gave me a frustrated look and went upstairs. I heard the shower turn on, followed by a shout. "Gareth!" I groaned, knowing what it was and not believing it for a second. I went upstairs and fiddled with the knobs to get the hot water working, avoiding looking at Lynn's naked body dripping wet in front of me.

"I'm sorry, Gare, I forgot how it works."

"Maybe you should just keep it cold, then," I spat. I didn't appreciate being manipulated- this wasn't her first shower since she got back. Shaking the water off my hand, I walked down to the guestroom, locked the door, and jerked off to thoughts of a naked Lynn in the shower, taking me deep into her mouth. After I finished, I texted Gina. In the guestroom. Wish you were here.

She wrote back, Me too.

*******

I worked all day Wednesday, and I got back to find that Lynn had made dinner for us. I tried to be polite, or at least civil. It was almost a turn-off, the way she was trying to ingratiate herself to me. She wasn't the strong woman I remembered falling in love with. But still, her desperation to please made it hard not to leverage sexual favors. I considered telling her we should try anal sex, or something like that, something I knew would horrify her, just to see how far I could take it.

The meal was decent. Lynn rarely cooked, but I guessed she had learned a little during her absence. While we were eating, she said, "Gary, I was thinking we should go back to the marriage counselor. I called her, I convinced her to let us start over with our six sessions, since we've already paid for them."