A Joke: Surviving Armageddon

"Ok, but don't do anything until I text you, Jim. That will be your signal that we're in place and ready to breach if necessary." No baby or honey or boo this time. Ash was in Cop Mode.

"Thanks, sweetheart. I hope I can talk him down, but I have my gun with me if necessary." The .357 Magnum in the back of my belt under my jacket was a comforting presence. I hoped it wouldn't come to violence, but if it did, I would be ready.

"I love you, Jim. Please be careful."

"I love you too, Ash. Don't worry. I will be." I gave her the reassurance that I would be careful. I just hoped that careful would be enough.

As I pulled into the complex parking lot, I thought about what he could be doing to them as I got out of my truck and headed up to the door.

I rang the doorbell, and heard shuffling inside when Patty opened the door with Roger right behind her holding a gun. Where he'd gotten a gun, I have no idea. I'm not a criminal, so I don't know where criminals, especially those on the lam, get their guns. Probably some guy off the street sold him one, or he stole it somehow. The last part seemed more likely, since he didn't have any money from prison.

"Good of you to make it for the final show, buddy boy." Roger had a sick grin on his face. Prison hadn't been kind to him, it seemed. He was wasted away from the man he used to be. He was painfully thin with a hard edge to him that hadn't been there before.

"I'm here, Roger. If this is about you and me, let Patty and Flo go, and take me instead." I reasoned with him as best I could. What I wanted to do was pull my Colt from my belt and put a slug between his eyes, but not in front of Patty.

"Daddy, I'm scared." Patty sobbed as Roger pulled her back towards the couch where Flo was tied and gagged. Flo had a pleading look in her eyes as she realized that I was her only hope of walking out of there alive too.

Now, I'm no police negotiator or anything like that. I don't know the ins and outs of making a perp surrender. All I could try to do was appeal to Roger's humanity, if he had any left.

"Roger, this is between us. No need to involve them. Let them go, and I'll be your hostage. You can do whatever you want to me. Just please let them go." I said. I wasn't going to beg. I kept my voice even and waited for him to say something. He just smiled sickly and put the gun to Patty's head.

"Now, why would I want to do that, buddy boy? You ruined my manhood that day when you overreacted like that! I spent the last 2 fuckin' years in prison because you overreacted and my lawyer was shit! All because you couldn't take a Goddamned joke!"

"A joke?!" I snarled back. "I listened to what I believed was you fucking Flo, and then I just knew that you wouldn't be able to allow me to live afterward! I would tell Alice what you'd done, and you would have to kill me to keep my quiet! I KNEW it, Roger! I knew it like I know that this time, if you kill Patty or Flo, I will kill you and your entire family!"

He started at that. His mouth opened at the sheer venom that I had just unleashed. This wasn't going at all like he'd planned.

I took advantage of his stunned look to pull my Colt out of my belt behind my back and by the time he realized it, I was pointing it directly at his forehead. "Roger, this is how it's going to work. You can surrender now, put down the gun, and I call the cops to come get you." I paused for effect. "Or, you can shoot Patty or Flo, but I will put you down if you do. Or you can point your gun at me and take your chances that you can kill me before I put you down. One thing I can tell you for sure, is if you kill Patty or Flo, I will kill your brother and sister, and all their children too. If you take my child from me, I will take theirs from them. You and Alice never had kids, so I can't kill them, or I would."

"How... how could you?!" Roger demanded incredulously. "I don't believe you'd do that!"

"Believe it or not, Roger. That's your choice. What I believe is that if you kill my daughter, you will die and so will your family. That's what Revenge is, Roger. It keeps coming back around and around again. It keeps getting worse. If I don't kill your family after killing you, one of them might try to kill me or my family. I might go to prison for what I will do, but at least my family would be safe from yours. There's only one way to break the cycle, Roger. Put down your gun and give yourself up. You do that, and they live. You live. You serve out the rest of your time and get on with your life afterward. What's it going to be?"

My logic might have been flawed. I don't know. His family might realize what a douchebag he was and forgive me for killing him. I know Alice had told them why she was Divorcing him, but I don't know what they had said to her about it.

Time seemed to stop as Roger held the gun to my daughter's head. I noticed that it was a Hi-Point heavy slide automatic. Not sure what caliber, but my guess would have been 9mm. Not the best gun in the world, but it would do the job he needed it for.

He was thinking. My own sidearm never wavered from its point between his eyes. The hammer was back and a twitch of my finger from the frame to the trigger and a slight squeeze would end his life if necessary. I prayed that I wouldn't have to kill him, but would to protect my family if I had to.

Time was still at a standstill as he kept thinking. I could see the gears turning in his head as he relived everything that had happened to lead us all to this moment in time.

The buzz of my cellphone telling me I had a text message let me know that Ash and the guys from the Force were in place and ready to breach if necessary. Time started moving again as Roger got tears in his eyes and looked at me. "You really would, wouldn't you?"

"If you hurt my daughter or my ex-wife, you bet your ass I would. What I said before still stands, though. We can all walk out of here together, Roger. Just put the gun down. Let this end." I was now much calmer than I had been. There was still a chance that everyone could make it out alive.

Roger shook his head slowly with a sad smile on his face. "I can't go back to prison, Jim. I'm sorry, but I just can't. You have no idea what it's like in there."

With a determined expression, Roger put the gun under his chin.

"Roger, NO!" I shouted as he squeezed the trigger.

The shot was like a crack of thunder from a lightning strike only a few feet away. It was deafening, and the top of Roger's head exploding sprayed pinkish gray brain matter all over the place. The strange thought that he must have been using hollow-points entered my head as I saw the entire top half of his explode from the self-inflicted gunshot.

The tableau was broken as his body fell backwards, his dead hands releasing Patty as he fell. Patty fell forward, stunned by the shot and wondering why she wasn't dead.

My own gun was at my side as I had dropped my hands in shock. It was as if it was happening in slow motion, his body falling backward as Patty fell forward. Time was still running in slow motion as I heard the crash of Flo's apartment door being bashed in by a battering ram.

The next thing I knew, the SWAT team had me on the ground with my hands cuffed behind my back. There was yelling and screaming going on, and I didn't remember anything else until I came to a few minutes later.

Ash was holding me tight. The SWAT guys were apologizing profusely to me and the EMTs were tending to Patty and Flo.

Both of them were in a state of shock at what had just happened. Now, we'd all seen people die in the movies, but he reality of Roger blowing his own brains out was something else entirely. Hell, I was kind of in a state of shock too, I guess. However, mine was tempered by a relief so profound that I couldn't begin to describe it. My daughter was alive! I was alive! Oh, yeah, and Flo was alive. Ashleigh was sitting beside me and we held each other.

* * * * *

And that was how Patty and Flo found out that I was with Ash as more than just friends. We'd managed to keep it somewhat of a secret, even in our small town. Most people thought she was renting a room at my house. It wasn't shame or anything like that. We'd just wanted to keep our private lives private for a while before we made the big announcement.

Patty liked Ash, and Flo finally accepted that I'd moved on with my life. She was surprised that I had taken up with Ash, as I'd never dated a black woman before, but oh well. I'd never had a thing against someone's skin color, so why should I care about who I dated. Beauty is beauty, no matter what color the package. And oh, what a package Ash is! In all honesty, the contrast in our skin tones as we make love is extremely erotic.

Patty got over what Roger had done after about 6 months. She had a few recurring nightmares, but her new husband got her into see a shrink and after a while, she was ok again.

Flo wasn't quite as traumatized, but still needed some time to get her life back together. She's dating a guy now who sees her as a woman that made a few mistakes, but is actually a good person underneath. I wish her luck. I just can't take her back when I have a woman like Ash with me now. Ash and I have gone public with our relationship, and everyone in town knows. There are the whispers from some folks, of course. But that doesn't matter much to me.

What matters to me is that we love each other, and just the other day, I got the news that Kenna is expecting again, and so is Patty.

The kicker is that so is Ashleigh. I'm going to be a father again!

We survived what could have been Armageddon with Roger being the catalyst. At least he saw reason... to a point. The only regret I have is that he didn't live through it. I know better than to blame myself, though. He, in the end, brought it on himself.

Life goes on, and life is pretty damn good!

The End

* * * * *

Afterword:

There you have it, folks. My take on "A Joke". Agree or disagree. That's your right. I had to write this one for me, more than anything else.

The consequences of Cheating: Lack of trust is the biggest factor. Even if, like in this one, no real infidelity took place, the perception was there. You can argue that mutual masturbation between Flo and Roger constituted cheating, and you would be right. However, without physical penetration, it didn't move into the legal realm of infidelity.

The consequences of Revenge: Revenge is a vulture that keeps picking at the people involved until there is nothing left. Revenge takes on a life of its own and will keep going until nobody is left to keep the Revenge going. At the end, Roger realized that Jim would do as he said he would. He didn't see a way out, as he would be looking at an automatic 10 years for escape, and an additional 25 to Life for kidnapping, this time. 2 counts. Flo and Patty. Would Jim have followed through on what he said to Roger if his scare tactic hadn't worked? That, dear readers, is for you to decide.

I.D.