A Troll is Haunting Tex's

"Come on, Chloe, wake up. Let's get you a coffee."

I kind of opened my eyes, shook my head, slid out of the passenger's side, staggering as my feet hit the ground of Tex's parking lot and BiscuitHammer was there, one arm under my elbow, kind of making sure I didn't smack into the ground and I looked around for Lovecraft for a second before thinking no, he wouldn't be coming and I missed him. It just didn't seem fair that he wasn't here and he never would be after he'd saved my ass so many times today, and it'd only been this morning but it already seemed an eternity ago.

Tex had arrived before us 'n the others were starting to arrive, piling out, stretching, talking and it was that muted conversation you get when something bad's happened and you're exhausted and everything and it wasn't just me. The kids climbed out looking real confused and someone else took care of them.

Even Cuddles was looking tired and beaten up and that drop bear looked like he needed a few stitches. So did a couple of the others for that matter 'n I hoped like fuck those weren't werewolf or vampire bites coz that'd mean monitoring by the Feds but I guess if they had been, Bronstein would've taken them away with the others, with the locals. Isolation and then, if they turned, a quick bullet.

"You good, Chloe?" Tex was looking at me and I guess I had that vacant look on my face that some of the others had and I'd seen it on Steve's face sometimes. When I did, I knew where he was, back in the 'Stan when the shit had hit the fan and it was one of those things you lived with and now I had that look too coz I caught a glimpse of my face in the wing mirror and it was that same look. That same blank-eyed stare like you were off in another world somewhere staring at something that no one else could see.

"Yeah, I'm good," I said. "Need to clean my guns and take a shower." Coz I was a frigging mess, but there was something I needed to do first.

Now I smiled. "Uh, Tex, you gotta wi-fi connection?"

"Yeah, you want to connect?"

"Kind of. Steve and I, on the way out, when we were clearing houses, we caught this Troll." I didn't mention that vampire or the two kids. Didn't want to think about the kids. "It's in the back of the truck. We were thinking we'd turn it in to the Feds but then I thought hey, we got all those trolls on Literotica and we got this one dead to rights. Why don't we put it to work trolling the trolls so we cut a deal and yeah, we're gonna put it to work. Thought we could set it up down in your basement. Wanna come take a look."

Doom laughed. "Honest to god, after all that, you guys captured a troll and brought it back live?"

"Yeah," I said. "Steve wanted to terminate it but this one, it hacked my laptop and broadcast my boobs all over the Web. I cut a deal with it."

Steve shook his head. "Still think we should just put it down, Chloe," he said. "Trolls are trolls."

"We cut a deal," I said, firmly. "It's gonna take all those boob shots of me down from Pornhub and those other websites and it'll troll the Literotica trolls and it promised it wouldn't troll Literotica itself or any of us authors. We were pretty specific about that."

"Yeah yeah yeah," Steve said. "I'll play along but the moment its gets outa line ...." He patted his Predator and yeah, if I was that troll, I'd take one look at Steve and his Predator and I'd stay well in line. Kind of what that troll'd been thinking when we caught it I guess.

"Well, let's take a look," Doom said. "Always wanted to see a live Literotica troll."

Everyone came. Tex, Jason, EB, HP. Zeb. The others. Everyone crowded round the back of the truck.

"Keep it covered, Chloe," Steve said. "Just in case."

Yeah yeah yeah, be prepared. Got it, Steve. So yeah. Whatever, he did have a point, you shouldn't ever trust a frigging troll so I flipped my Remington out and jacked a round in. Armor Piercing Incendiary. Take out a troll no problem at all and I covered that tool box that we'd stuffed the troll into and padlocked. I'd seen troll's before, helped Steve take a few out. Date nights. Troll hunting. Just pure fun. This one'd been ugly enough when we put it in the box. Nigerian 419 troll when we caught it. Black as the ace of spades and the offers had run up to fifty million before we locked the lid down. You're never sure what they're gonna look like when they come outa the box though.

And yeah, well, for most everyone here except Steve and I, this was gonna be the first live Troll they'd ever actually seen. Tex, yeah, he was covering that gun box as well. He'd seen trolls before. Been around, had Tex. Steve flipped the lid and the troll, well, it kind of sat up, blinked at the sunlight and Jesus, it'd changed alright. With that pale skin, it didn't look like a 419 troll anymore but then, trolls could change appearances at the drop of a hat. Now it looked like it hadn't seen sunlight in years. Living down in that basement, it probably only went out at night to the nearest convenience store for twinkies and coke. Coca cola that is, I didn't think it could handle real drugs.

It looked at us with big hang-dog eyes, that pathetic look that losers have. Fat face, triple chin, rolls of fat rather than a neck, three day bristles, nose hair and Jesus, was that snot? Yeech. Big black bags under its eyes, lank unwashed hair, kinda long and greasy with a bald patch on top. Frigging white scales. Dandruff? Really frigging bad dandruff. And the smell. Jesus. I almost puked right there. Was this it's natural appearance? I doubted it but it looked harmless enough. Regardless, I kept it covered and so did Tex and it looked at us and the guns and I smiled and yeah, that troll knew the deal.

Seen trolls online often enough, but that was just posts, usually anonymous coz Trolls liked anonymity. Reveled in it. Well, this one sure wasn't anonymous anymore and it knew that and it started talking right there and then, kind of a weird accent.

"I am a wounded marine vet who was hurt in my last tour overseas. I was injury and the I am here looking for a author that is not too busy and willing to talk with me about a story I have been trying to write. It about different things I try to write it myself but I can never seem to get it right, so am asking to see if I can find someone to help me."

Guess it knew it was facing a bunch of Literotica authors and it was trying to weasel out of the deal.

Steve smiled, kind of half swung his Predator up and that hi-powered .308 round he used, it'd rip a troll in half. Not to mention the dinner plate sized hole the shells in my Remington 870'd generate if I pulled the trigger and I clicked my safety off. Be a shame about the holes in Larry's F350 but we could get those fixed. Bounty on a troll'd pay for that at least. Be a wash though.

"But in meantime, am happy to be offering assistance to pretty young lady to delete images from web sites..." It switched tracks pretty much immediately those safeties started clicking off. "If possible to provide Internet access, am to be starting immediately."

"You know the deal, Xander," I said. "You gonna stick with it or are we gonna hand you over to the Feds. You know what they like to do to Trolls."

Xander did. "Feds take Xander's clan last year," he said, sadly. "Terminated internet access. Sold to Facebook. Zuckerberg force clan to monitor youtube content, rest of clan go insane watching SJW drivel. Only Xander escape. I work for you, Chloe."

"Oh no," I said. "I'm too easy-going. You're going to stay here and work for Tex, Xander."

I grinned at Tex. "You okay with that, Tex?"

"I guess," Tex said, eyeing Xander. "Can you do laptop upgrades?"

"Upgrades?" Xander said. "Upgrades my specialty. State of art computer system. I put together for you no problem, Mister Tex." It rubbed its hands and you could just see the excitement oozing from every pore.

"Okay, okay," Tex said. "Plenty of room in that basement under the Coffee Shop." He looked at me. I smiled brightly. Tex did that stern tough grandfatherly look that I was kinda used to coz my granddads, they were a bit like Tex except my granddads, well, we won't go there coz they might read this one day so excuse me passing on that one but let's just say they were tough old bastards.

"He's gonna have to wash and shave though. And if he gives me any crap, Chloe, I'm turning him right in to the Feds."

"Fine with me," I said. "Moment he gets outa line, you hand him over." I looked at Xander. "And no trolling on Literotica, Xander, we clear on that one?"

"We clear, Chloe," Xander said, and yeah, I was pretty sure we were coz Xander was eyeing Steve and Steve was kind of eyeing Xander and stroking that big kukri of us and we all knew the Feds didn't care whether you turned Trolls in dead or alive and Steve was still a little upset over those photos of my boobs on Pornhub and all those other porn websites. Xander better do his best to get them all down or he was fucked, agreement or no agreement. They did look good though. My boobs, that was.

"We very clear," Xander added after a moment.

"Okay, let's get you settled in," Tex said. "Got a spare workstation out in the barn, you can use that and we'll get you setup with a computer and hooked into the Wi-Fi."

"Thanks Tex," I said. "I'd kinda feel bad putting Xander down, he's not so bad for a Troll." He'd tried to protect those kids from that vampire too. More than most Troll's would've done.

Steve kinda snorted but I ignored that one. They were my boobs after all. Steve might be a little possessive about them and yeah, I liked that he was but when it got down to it, they were my boobs and a few images on the web, well, I wasn't gonna terminate Xander over those. Not now that I knew him.

"Well, glad that's settled," Tex said. "Who knows, might be useful having my own Internet Troll. Anyhow, let's get back to the party."

"Yeah, lets," I said. So many goodbyes to say, talk about Lovecraft and Voboy and that Snoopy dude, drag Steve off to bed and encourage him to do what he did really well. We'd head off home late in the morning. Be a long drive and it'd be nice to be home again but I wanted to get that skin to Ted. It'd make a nice rug in front of the fireplace and I just knew exactly what Steve and I were gonna do on that rug as soon as Ted had worked his magic on it. Oh yeah, 'n I wanted to talk to TP about maybe doing a hunting trip in Quebec next year.

Maybe the others 'd be interested? Never hurt to ask and hey, this'd been fun and after surviving those vampires and taking down that werewolf, I was way more confident about this serious monster hunting stuff. Those Montreal sewers and tunnels sounded totally fascinating. The food in Montreal was supposed to be pretty darn good too. That French haute cuisine stuff. I could go for some of that and Steve liked a good steak and TP said they did just superb steak there.

"Oui," he'd said. "The best," and he'd kissed his fingers and done all that theatrical French stuff that I thought was just movie crap and he'd been a bit hurt that I thought that.

So yeah, Montreal next year? Steve'd been totally cool with that and maybe some of the others would too. Oh yeah! Just wasn't sure how we'd get all the guns into Canada though. They were kinda weird that way. Cross that bridge when we came to it though. Time to party and maybe I'd drink a Budweiser. Just one. Yeah, I could do one but I'd have to be careful.

HP said that Bud wasn't that strong as beers went.

I'd drunk a couple of Buds before okay.

Maybe I'd drink a couple?

I could handle two.

"That was some hunting trip," Steve said, a couple of weeks later, late March, and we were standing there looking at that soft werewolf skin rug, just glowing like the finest silk, glossy and shining in the firelight and that hangover, it'd taken me a week to shake it. That Budweiser, Jesus, it was strong stuff. I couldn't remember a thing about what I'd done that last night's party and we'd been halfway home before I'd regained consciousness.

Steve'd just laughed every time he looked at me on that long drive home and he'd had to drive the whole way himself coz I was seeing double. Tex had said something a couple of days ago about how he was gonna put a sign up saying dancing on the tables was forbidden and so was sitting on drop bear's laps pouring VB into them. Couldn't have been me could it? EB refused to answer but he kept sending these laughing emoji's every time we chatted. God, I hoped I hadn't made an idiot of myself. It'd only been half a dozen Budweisers.

I think.

Hangover hadn't stopped me doing what I thought was right for those two kids. Steve and I had taken those heads and their hearts up into the mountains where it was clear and clean and peaceful and we'd burned them with pine logs and that sage that Magica had given me, made sure the skull was nothing but powdered ashes and then we'd mixed the ashes so that they were together in death as they'd been in life and in undeath and we'd sprinkled them in the center of that clear glacial lake where nothing would ever disturb then and I'd prayed for them. Sprinkled their mingled hearts over another lake and there was no way they were coming back now.

I hoped they'd rest peacefully and I prayed for them now at Mass, every time and I hoped God'd forgive them because those two, they hadn't deserved eternal damnation. I'd talked to Father De Souza too and he just didn't know but he'd prayed with me. Didn't know if that'd help but I hoped so.

The rug? Red was just beautiful. Hadn't kept his head though, that'd been incinerated by the Feds after I handed it in for the bounty and they never asked about the rest of him and 'ol Ted, he'd done a beautiful job on that pelt and we'd finally brought it home tonight. Made a lovely souvenir 'n it really looked just gorgeous in the firelight. Looked much better on our floor than it had on its previous owner.

"Never seen a wolf skin like this before, Steve," Ted'd said, turning it in his hands when we'd given it to him to cure. "One motherfucking big wolf this must've been. Excuse my French, Chloe."

"No problem, Ted," I'd said. Like I gave a fuck about him swearing, but I didn't say that.

"Never will see one like this again, likely," Steve'd said, winking at me. "That was a rare one."

"Yeah, wasn't it," I'd said.

Now that we had it home, I just kind of stood there and looked down at that rug. "Yeah, it sure was fun," I said. "Shame about Lovecraft and Voboy though, and that Fed bird pilot, Snoopy, he seemed like a good sort. I'm going to really miss Lovecraft and Voboy on Lit, they were great to chat with and Snoopy he sounded like a fun guy. I kinda feel a bit responsible though. If I hadn't suggested that hunting party to Tex, they'd still be alive."

"You're over-analyzing, Chloe, Steve said, his arm around me. "They all knew the risks when they came along. Lovecraft, Voboy, Snoopy, they went out in a blaze of glory, don't feel bad about it. Nothing any of us coulda done to change things, we were all mixing it along with them. Coulda been any one of us. Could've been you or me. I mean, look at this rug, that werewolf, it was gonna eat you, Chloe and look what that got him. He's a rug now'n I bet that wasn't how he expected to end up."

"No kidding." I had to giggle. That last look on that werewolf's face as it looked down the barrel of my Remington just before I'd pulled that trigger and blown it's frigging head clean off with that massive hollowpoint slug through the neck, that werewolf had known it'd fucked up. Fucked up badly. I was kinda proud of that one. Not too many girls get to take out an Alpha Werewolf in the middle of its pack and walk away. With the skin. That surprised me. They'd kept the skin safe for me to come back and pick up. Those damn werewolf's, they'd lived up to their promise after that. Weird.

"Coulda been you or me instead of Lovecraft and Voboy," Steve continued, thinking out loud I guess. "Coulda been any of us. When your times up, it's up and hell, what better way to go? Those three, they're heroes down in Texas. Not everyone takes down a pair of Master Vampires, saves a National Guard battalion from being wiped out and preserves an entire town of civilians from a certain and truly horrible death and then has someone like you write a story about it. You are going to write that story aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am," I said. "But I don't want it to be, like, a sad story or anything. I kinda want it to be fun and ... and, you know, lots of action...."

"The action stuff, that's easy, Chloe," Steve said. "Just, you know, write in all that stuff about the chupacabras and the vampires and those werewolf bikers and the zombies and the Mall and the Feds and all that crap, just write it up how it happened. Nobody's gonna believe it was real anyhow, so you can just go for it and you can write up Lovecraft and Voboy and Snoopy and the way they went down. I mean, what those guys did, that makes a cool story all by itself. We were there and it was pretty damn exciting, let me tell you. Maybe leave the troll out, Xander was pretty boring by comparison. And leave out how those kids ended up, that was a bit too sad. Hate reading that sort of sad shit myself. Like my blood and guts to be happy."

I had to giggle, even though, well, yeah, I was still feeling a bit down about losing those guys. Lovecraft and Voboy. That guy, Snoopy. My Lit buddies. Still, they were Literotica buddies. What better memorial for them than a hot sex story on Literotica. They'd like that, even if it wasn't actually them having the sex. Lovecraft, Voboy, Snoopy, they were probably up there in heaven right now gangbanging the Virgin Mary coz, well, they'd gone down on the side of goodness and light and Literotica writers and everything, they'd probably talked her into bed 'n she'd be screaming "harder ... harder" by now and well, if you could get knocked up in heaven, Jesus'd probably have a little brother or sister in nine months' time. If they weren't up there having fun, God and I were gonna have some serious frigging words when my time came. Yes, we fucking were.

You listening, dude?

I smiled at my Steve, cuddled up next to him just enjoying his arm round me as we looked down at that rug. That fur was amazing. "Yeah, it was pretty exciting wasn't it? But you know, I think I should leave Xander in coz it was Literotica Troll stuff that started this off, I mean, without those Literotica trolls, I'd never have gotten the idea to go troll hunting. And hey, I can work lots of sex into that story, I can do that with anything, Steve. Make it hot and stuff..."

"Hey, speaking of hot and stuff..."

"Mmmmmm?" I smiled, turning towards him. "What's this about hot and stuff?

Steve grinned. "Lift your arms up, Chloe." That command voice, it just made me shiver and of course I did exactly what he asked. I lifted my arms and I was breathing a lot faster as he peeled that black tee up and over my head and dropped it on the floor.

"No bra today?" His hands cupped my boobs and I did like what they were doing. His thumbs kind of did this electrical contact thing with my nipples, brushing across them and we both looked down and watched them engorge.

"No," I breathed, still watching his thumbs brushing my nipples. Feeling. Little shocks of pleasure rippling through me.

"Want to baptize our new rug?"

"Not sure that werewolf'd appreciate being baptized." I giggled, coz I was pretty sure that the baptismal font wouldn't be holding water and I was unfastening my skirt, letting it drop to the floor. "That werewolf wanted to fuck me, Steve," I breathed, unfastening his belt, unzipping his jeans, pushing them down and oh yeah, not just that werewolf. "He wanted to fuck me and then he was gonna eat me and his cock was huge and he said he wanted to get it into me and then he was gonna eat me. That was really scary."