A Troll is Haunting Tex's

They weren't guns, they were frigging small portable artillery pieces. BB was carrying this monster of a shotgun and that wasn't 12 gauge, that barrel was just about big enough to stick my fist down.

"Eight gauge Purdey pump-action," BB'd said when I kind of looked at it a bit wide-eyed and I just loved that English accent. "Elephant gun," and I knew what he meant coz Steve didn't have a Purdey but we did have a gun for taking down elephants but it was in the box along with that Bren gun and the RPG. BB? As far as I was concerned, he could talk forever and I'd just sit there and listen. He kind of looked like I imagined James Bond should look like in real life too, handsome, rugged and very very English. Be jealous, Steve. Very very jealous.

I had to smile coz, well, not really but I did like BB at first sight. And sound.

"Fires a three ounce round," Lori'd smiled and wasn't she the lucky one. Wasn't he for that matter? Coz Lori was gorgeous. "He blew a were-hyena in half with it last year when we were down in Tanzania."

"Used it on a few other beasties," BB said, smiling. "Rukh's, Bahmout's, Efrit's, Ghols. Even took down a Nesna in Saudi with this once, took a couple of shots though. Those things are tough."

That Purdey wasn't all BB carried. His backup was a Heckler and Koch MP5A3 and I hadn't seen one of those before but Steve had. Handguns? BB had another Heckler & Koch, a P9 9mm Parabellum semi-auto handgun and an old 1868 Webley RIC pistol as his backup for that. For melee combat, he had this beautiful 1908 Patton sabre and we sent a few minutes comparing that to my katana, as well as to Lovecraft's, which was a real beauty. My Dad'd bought my one for me in Japan and it wasn't bad, top quality, but you could just look at Lovecraft's and see that beautiful wavy shimmer down the length that said his was one of those old hand-made blades that were just perfection, a pure work of love and of art.

"This was carried by my great-grandfather in the British Army cavalry charge at the Siege of Kut-Al-Amara in Iraq in 1917," BB'd said.

"The Kukri?" Steve'd asked, because that was a beauty too, with a black-horned handle. "Isn't that an old Indian Army pattern?"

"Yes indeed, nineteen inch blade," BB'd said, eyeing Steve's. "My father carried it through World War Two and Korea. Yours?"

"Nothing special about this one," Steve said. "Traded for it with a Brit Army Gurkha a few years ago." It was as big as BB's but like he said, nothing special. Just honed to a razor-sharpness before we'd left. Knew that coz I'd been the one sharpening all the blades, his as well as mine. I could shave with my MUSAT knife if I'd needed to, but, well, wax. Did the job just fine thank you so much for your interest and a lot less scarring if you slipped.

"Okay, let's roll," Tex'd called and we were all piling in the vehicles, six trucks and SUV's, all twenty four of us plus Cuddles the huge frigging scary looking Koala and Tex was leading the way and Steve was right behind him, rolling down the road with the music on and the adrenaline surging coz, yeah, real soon we'd be shooting at honest to god fucking monsters and if you fucked up, you'd get your brains sucked out of your skull and that was something I just wasn't big on at all and all of a sudden I wanted to pee really badly coz this shit just got real.

Steve drove. And me? I went to sleep. Been a long day and night yesterday and I'd slept while Steve drove but after that excitement earlier in the morning I was feeling it. No idea how Steve did it, but he was all bright and bushy tailed and him and Lovecraft were comparing notes and BiscuitHammer was asking questions and me, I just closed my eyes and I was asleep before we'd even gotten out of town, and that town wasn't large.

It was the "oh shit" that woke me up. That and the hand shaking my leg as we braked hard. There was that second of "where am I" and then my eyes were open and yeah, I knew exactly where we were coz we were parked right where we'd been early this morning and those six chupacabra carcasses were there, but they were in a lot worse shape than when we left them behind us.

They weren't alone.

There were a couple of cars parked there, doors open. All four doors on each of them. Open. Those cars were empty.

"Oh fuck," I said, rather blankly, coz that didn't look good.

"Yeah," Steve said, turning in behind Tex, braking hard. "Fuck sounds about right."

I was bailing out as soon as he'd stopped. Open the door, slide out and Lovecraft was right beside me, Mossberg ready. Slide my harness on, katana in place, load and slip my Remington into that back holster, camelbak on, quick pat down and everything was there and in place. Helmet on and buckled, goggles round my neck, pick up my DD. Safety check, slam a mag in, round up the spout and looking around and me, I was as ready as a girl could be and Steve and Lovecraft were right there and BiscuitHammer was beside me looking at the chupacabra carcasses and the vultures had already been at them. The trees weren't exactly crowded with turkey buzzards but there were more than just a couple.

"Those chupacabras?" BiscuitHammer asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Those're the .... FUCK!"

Coz a frigging cannon thundered a few feet away, once and then again a split second later and that chupacabra that'd come bounding across the top of that bush towards us kind of stopped in mid-air on the first round and then disintegrated in a spray of bloody body parts and scaly grey-green skin as Bear's second hit right after the first and thank god I had my earpieces on coz fuck that was loud and if I'd thought BB's Purdey was a cannon, well, Bear's Boxall and Edmiston Side by Side 8 bore was just as frigging massive and from that impact spray, it fired a shot the size of a small cannon ball.

Voboy and Barefootgirl were right there beside Bear as he opened her up and thumbed in a couple of reloads and those shells, Jesus, they looked almost as big as those grenades the guys at the Armory had let me fire using that M4 with the M203 grenade launcher. That'd been so cool but Jesus, I was hoping Voboy got his shit together coz his FAL SLR L1A1 didn't have a mag in and Barefootgirl was looking around with my old Sig-Sauer that I'd tossed her way to use, the pink one with the really tattered Hello Kitty decals that I was gonna hafta replace coz they just looked like crap girly stuff now but she wasn't looking like she was ready for any action and the three of them were all in Tex's team but Tex was heads down with Steve and BB and I had my DD up and fanning across the bushes out front of Bear and ...

"Fuck," I screamed. "Contact Front Right." Coz Steve'd drilled me in all that contact shit and I was already locked and loaded and I'd already flicked the safety off and I brought my DD on target and...

"Blat-blat-blat ... blat-blat-blat... blat-blat-blat..." and with that suppressor my DD was so frigging quiet and I was squeezing off three round bursts and it took three bursts before that first chupacabra bursting out of the arroyo other side of that line of trees and bounding right at Bear went down and fuck, it was still moving, pushing itself back up onto all four paws and those fucking claws looked horrendous and "blat-blat-blat... blat-blat-blat... blat-blat-blat". Put another couple of bursts into it and there were more chupacabras either side and behind and fuck, 5.56 was too fucking light for these things but I swung onto the next target coz there was just no fucking time and "blat-blat-blat... blat-blat-blat..." and I was hitting with every round.

"Ka-boom." BB's cannon went off. "Ka-boom." Bear had reloaded and "Ka-boom ... Ka-boom" and those 8 gauge shots, they were blowing chupacabras in half except one was a headshot and fuck, no payout on that fucker coz the head was completely gone in a spray of red mist and that headless chupacabra hit Barefootgirl like a frigging giant spiked beach ball and sent her crashing backwards and my pink Sig-Sauer kinda flew through the air and fuck, that had to have hurt but Voboy had his FAL SLR up and he'd finally slammed a mag in and he was squeezing off shots 'n beside me Lovecraft's Mossberg was thundering out one shot after another and then he was reloading and Biscuitboy was up and that Remington we'd loaned him was adding it's slow thunder to the cacophony of sound.

We weren't the only ones now and more and more gunfire echoed out coz there were way more than twenty of those fucking monsters, this wasn't a pack, it was a fucking swarm and we hadn't been ready for them and I could hear screams from behind us and fuck knew who that was. Down the line, Handley-Page was snapping off shots with that Holland & Holland .375 Magnum of his and he was working that bolt action like a guy that knew what he was doing, those heavy .375 magnum rounds were designed for hunting dangerous game in Africa and we're not going to talk about what you find in Africa. Monsters out of nightmares in that Congo Basin 'n I knew HP had hunted in Africa.

Screw that for a joke, buddy. Texas was dangerous enough for me.

I only had time for that one glance up the line but HP, he looked like he knew what he was doing and 'n if you knew what the different guns sounded like, well there was all sorts of frigging fire going out. Those Lee-Enfield .303's cracking and some of those old guys could put the fire out using those old bolt action rifles and fucked if I knew how they could do that. Well, I did. Training and practice, just like me with my Remington 870 and yeah, Lori's Mossberg Persuader was just rocking further down the line and those chupacabras had to have some frigging Japanese genes or something coz they were just doing this insane kamikaze stuff and they were going down like pins in a bowling alley and I was getting my share and this was just frigging awesome.

Any second I expected to hear them screaming banzai os some crap like that like in those old World War Two movies that Steve liked to watch now and then. Closer to me, Steve and Tex and BB had their work cut out just holding their position up at the pointy end of our short column of vehicles 'n Lovecraft had reloaded and he was rocking again and Biscuitboy had clicked on empty just as a chupacabra came right over the top of the one he'd taken out with his last shot 'n him and that chupacabra were going at it and the chupacabra had him down the ground and it was going for the head slam with that frigging penetrator.

Let go my DD and my sling held it close as my right hand flew to my Kimber, drew, extended, fired. The .45 round smashed the chupacabra's head open like a frigging ripe melon 'n Biscuitboy's eyes went wide as he took a faceful of chupacabra blood and brains and some of that shit sprayed back over me and the fucking monster went limp and collapsed onto him and he'd have to get out from under it himself coz there were more of the fuckers and they were up close and this was getting real frigging personal now as I emptied my Kimber into the nearest, going for center of body mass coz this was no time for frigging fancy headshots and Lovecraft was just rocking beside me, stepping up in front of Biscuitboy and covering him as he struggled out from under that dead weight and back onto his feet.

I had a second's respite and I used it. Slapped my Kimber back into its holster, reach over my shoulder, drew my Remington 870 and those fuckers were fucked now coz I'd loaded high velocity solid slug rounds and oh boy I was just rocking as I pumped out those shells and every round ripped a frigging chupacabra a brand new asshole and that totally fucked 'em and Biscuitboy was back on his feet and he'd laid his hands on his frigging 1911 and I grinned at him as he pumped half a mag into a chupacabra I'd just blown the guts out of and he put it down forever.

Out of shells and I stepped back and I was palming reloads and slamming them in while Biscuitboy fired off as fast as he frigging could and then I was good again and pumping 'em out as Lovecraft stepped back and he was reloading and out left of us Steve had his Predator up and he was pounding out the shots with Tex right beside him, shots slamming out from that 788 Remington bolt-action of his and I couldn't believe how fast Tex was working that bolt and reloading and firing and BB was slamming out cannonballs from that monster frigging Purdey and the three of them were smiling as they gunned the fucking monsters down and I had no idea what was going on around us other than that except for what was coming right at me and fuck, that was enough to crap myself over coz these mothers were vicious.

Sounded like everyone was up and firing now and Jesus, it was awesome coz everyone was just putting it out as fast as they could coz this was totally close-up, no time to aim, you just pointed and pulled and pulled and pulled and there was only reload and resume firing and that frigging wildly insane screaming just went on and on and it was totally freaking me and then I found out what it was coz this frigging scream went right over my frigging head 'n I just about crapped myself coz it was the scariest frigging sound I'd ever heard outside of a werewolf's howl 'n BiscuitHammer knocked my barrel sideways so I sent my next shot through thin air and totally fucked up some frigging turkey buzzard sitting up on one of those trees watching and there was this explosion of frigging feathers.

Good thing BiscuitHammer did that coz that frigging screaming, it was like giant's nails scraping down a chalk board from hell and it was Cuddles and he dropped in front of us 'n it was like a frigging buzz saw going off. That frigging drop bear literally sprayed chupacabra parts out either side leaving a wake behind him as he charged into the nearest group of them and fucking Jesus, I'd never seen anything like it as he bit a chupacabra's head clean off and spit it out the way a coupla' Steve's buddies spit chewing tobacco 'n BiscuitHammer and I, we just kinda looked at each other and BiscuitHammer grinned which was frigging scary all by itself coz his face was dripping chupacabra blood and brains.

I hoped that's what it was anyhow coz if it was his, he was fucked.

"Airborne," he screamed and he fucking charged in right after that frigging crazy Australian drop bear, pumping out the shells either side of Cuddles and Lovecraft 'd let his sling take his Mossberg and that katana of his was out and he was right in there after BiscuitHammer with his katana just slicing and dicing in sprays of blood and Doom was there somehow, sprinting past me with this frigging monstrous Warhammer in both hands and I heard that first crunching impact right over all the frigging gunfire going off all around and MelissaBaby was going by covered in blood with a wild look in her eyes and her battle-axe swinging.

"Fuck that," I said and I guess it wasn't so sotto voce coz Barefootgirl was right beside me and she didn't look too happy but she was back on her feet at least and her boots were still on and she'd picked up my Sig-Sauer and she was aiming and shooting 'n I was, like, okay girl! Sheathed my Remington, slammed a fresh mag into my DD coz there was a space after frigging Cuddles and now I was snapping off three round bursts, aiming and shooting either side of those frigging crazies as they charged in and the frigging chupacabras were fading away from in front of us and Doom and MelissaBaby and Lovecraft and Biscuitboy just made an awesome team.

Every time Doom swung that frigging monster warhammer of his, bones crunched. You could see the impact craters, ribs caved in, legs smashed, skulls smashed and flattened and the way he was swinging that hammer, didn't really matter what the fuck he hit. Got one chupacabra right in the kisser, although maybe chupacabras didn't kiss except for that kiss of death but whatever, the frigging teeth shattered in a spray of ivory white and guess there was a lot of calcium in their diet or something and the muzzle caved in and the jaw hung half off and that chupacabra just wailed and you could hear it was frigging hurting real bad and then MelissaBaby's axe came down and its head came off and the wailing stopped like it'd been cut off.

Guess it had been, huh.

I kind of laughed. Barefootgirl looked at me like I was nuts and her eyes widened as I swung my DD round and down towards her feet and "blat-blat-blat-blat-blat" fired a burst into the wounded chupacabra that'd been just about to chomp down on her ankle. Glanced back up and Cuddles had disappeared down into that arroyo and that buzz saw wailing was louder and I saw bits flying in the air and fuck that for a joke, I wasn't going near whatever was going on down there. BiscuitHammer was on the edge firing down and Doom and MelissaBaby were next to him and Lovecraft had sheathed his katana, swung his Mossberg round front and he was loading and then he was firing and there was nothing left except chupacabra bodies and some of them were still moving and I started working my way round double tapping every single chupacabra body in sight.

Barefootgirl watched and clicked and she kinda switched on and we worked our way round together, moving real careful, shooting everything in sight and covering each other coz you didn't want those jaws coming anywhere near you, not even with the boots I was wearing, believe me and Voboy was with us now as well, those 7.62 rounds really blew holes in whatever they were aimed at and Voboy wasn't shy about make sure bodies were totally guaranteed to be bodies.

"Hold your fire unless you got live targets ... hold your fire ...." Steve's voice over the coms headset and wonder of wonder the shots slowly died away although BiscuitHammer and Lovecraft were slamming them out for a few rounds past everyone else but guess they had good reasons for that. Even Cuddles' screams faded so I kinda guessed he was done too and me and Barefootgirl, we'd made sure everything near us was down and staying that way permanently.

"Stay where you are, guys, no-one goes off on their own. Coz you're all split the fuck up. You guys up on the arroyo, maintain your position. Team Oz, you guys sweep the perimeter, make sure everything out there is dead and staying that way. Clear?"

"Roger that. Team Oz to sweep perimeter, put the monsters down. Team Oz out." Not sure who that was but yeah, they sounded clear alright.

"Rest of you, move in and group by me and Tex and BB up front."

Guess that was me and Barefootgirl too so I kind of took a deep breath, breathed out, slowly, sipped some water from my camelback and then Barefootgirl and I edged over to join Steve and Tex and BB but I wasn't looking at them, I was watching the perimeter out past them and yeah, the grass was moving. Something out there but what? Whatever, it was moving away from us and that was the right direction.

More movement in my peripheral vision but this was people movement. Not chupacabras and I was feeling wiped now. The Aussies were moving, single shots and short bursts cracking out, a steady crackle and ColdDiesel, Ishtat, Bramblethorn, Jason and EB, I could see them, sweeping out in a line, shooting downwards into the bodies, making sure that any that weren't were and the others were moving down the line of trucks and SUV's and oh boy, never seen so many twitchy trigger fingers in one place before.

Including mine.

"Gus is on his way," Tex was on his phone. "Team from the Feds is coming out too. Gus wants us to hold in place until he gets here, says an hour, maybe hour and a half coz he has to call them in. Feds're saying the same but it'll be three hours before they get here."

"Two empty cars," Zeb said, "should see if we can find any survivors."

"Not likely," Steve said and I figured he was right coz yeah, chupacabras, they'd be bodies for sure.