Anya Surprised

"No. The way he talks to me, I feel like – well, I feel like a bad child getting yelled at. The irritating part is that I've never seen him raise his voice to anyone else."

"Interesting. How's he been with your daughter?"

Anya wiped her eyes, looking away. "Dalyanni. He's been simply marvelous with her. They talk a lot, and since her tenth year ceremony this spring, he's been giving her self-defense training, too." Anya smiled with embarrassment. "At least she's given up on wanting your husband to be her father. No, she loves Jannon, almost worshiping him. If I thought she was in danger from him, leaving my service would be the least of his problems. No, I would trust Jannon to protect her with his life. Tia, what am I going to do?"

Tia smiled, squeezing her hands. "All right. Let's change the subject a little bit. If I recall, you started looking for marriage partners some time ago. When was that?"

Anya shrugged. "Last April or May, I think."

"So, just over a year then?" There was a brief knock at the door. Tia called out, "Enter."

Jo Mason, Tia's attendant, opened the door, giving Anya a smile and a nod on seeing her. "You called, Mother?"

"Chamomile tea, please. And some sandwiches and fruit as well. Thank you, Jo."

"Certainly, Mother." The young woman bowed and closed the door again.

When Tia turned back, Anya was deep in thought. Tia resumed her questions. "As I recall, you were interested in several local gentlemen. Alunder Tamaron Trader, for one. Ipi Hap-hathor was another, I believe, and a third whose name I can't recall–"

"Moril Tomas Wheelwright."

"Yes, Wheelwright. Well, I'm glad you didn't pursue Hap-hathor. I've met him and I don't think he's a very nice man. However, you never really told me why nothing came of the other two."

Blushing, Anya looked down. "They told me they weren't interested."

"Really? I mean, if it was true, why didn't they tell you straight away? This is puzzling, so let's examine this further. Your mother is drop-dead gorgeous – Anya, she really is, and you inherited a lot of her grace and beauty. You can blush, but it's true. Now the magic might have put them off, but most non-spellcasters either have an overblown idea of what kind of power is involved, or they believe they can control it by controlling you. But they had to have known about it. You certainly don't keep it a secret. Even without magic to make you younger, which you have access to, you're still young enough to have more children. Then there's the money. You're wealthy and heir to the City of the Suns Duchy. Youth, beauty, money, and power. Anya, you're a social climber's wet dream. Men should be falling all over you."

Anya stared at her.

"I know you don't want to share a husband, and I can't blame you there," Tia smiled. "A woman who has more than one husband really should have the libido necessary to keep them happy, and with some men, that would be a full-time career in itself. With the demands of your magic research, not to mention your growing political involvement, I'd think more than one man would wear you out. Even so, there should be lines of single suitors anxious to court to you."

Anya mumbled something.

"Sorry?"

"Not if someone was discouraging them."

Tia tilted her head. "Now why do you say that?"

"Your sister, Judge Tanner, told me that Jannon broke Trader's statue. Apparently it was worth a lot of money, but he was afraid to seek a claim with me directly, so he went to the Queen. So it got back to me in a roundabout way. I paid for the statue, of course, and then did a few inquiries of my own. Jannon had told Trader that if ever made me unhappy, he would hurt him."

Tia raised her eyebrows. "So you think he made similar warnings to the other suitors?"

Anya nodded. "That's why I went to my mother earlier this Spring. I asked her to try to find someone less likely to be influenced by my over-protective guard captain. What I found was that most of them were more interested in my money and advancing their sycophants. I'm not opposed to a political marriage if it comes to that, but if there's no love, I have to at least respect him. Otherwise, I'm afraid I would soon hold him in contempt."

"Some might say Jannon is just a devoted servant looking out for his mistress. Like a kinsman protecting a sister. Before yesterday, were you two ever intimate?"

"No."

"Have you ever wanted him?"

"Yes, a long time ago," Anya admitted. "The first few years together, when we were adventuring, there were a few times when I was too sick or injured to get us home. Each time, he took care of me. He is strong and has many talents and skills. If he had made the offer–and I wanted him to!–I would have given myself freely. I hinted my interest several times, yet he acted like he didn't notice. Since he works for me, it wouldn't really have been appropriate for me to proposition him openly."

Tia nodded. "Social inequalities. I don't agree with them, but there you are. Tell me again. When you said for him to stop, he did, didn't he?"

"Yes."

"No argument?"

"None," Anya confirmed.

Tia nodded. "Of course, by then, he'd already orgasmed four times, so one could argue that at that point, he no reason to force the issue. The coupling gave you pleasure, too, yes? More than once, I recall you saying. Because you said nothing, it might appear to his kinsmen that you gave tacit approval to what he did. You don't feel that way, otherwise you wouldn't be so troubled now. Anya, I think he finds you attractive and desirable. Four times? Trust me when I say, if there's no magic involved, that it's pretty remarkable. No wonder you were getting sore! Whatever his reasons for turning you down earlier, Jannon now finds you desirable. Nonetheless, you can't let him remain as your captain. Do you want him to leave?"

Anya sighed. "I can't imagine him not being around. That's what hurts so much. But I guess I'll have to."

Tia nodded. "Try to answer the next question without thinking about it. Say the first thing that pops into your head. You can't have him as your captain because he crossed a boundary. Do you love him?"

"Yes, I . . . oh, God. I don't, do I?"

"I think you answered honestly. So why have you been fighting? Within a short time of your knowing him, you found him attractive, you wanted him. Because you thought he wasn't interested, you began looking elsewhere. Jannon, for some unknown reason, ignored your advances, but when you recently began courting, he was sabotaging your efforts. Of course, your frustration builds, and because you thought he wasn't interested, you have been fighting with him to get his interest, and you were probably not even aware of it on a conscious level. You're frowning. You don't agree?"

Anya scowled at the floor, ears pink. "No. Someone else said pretty much the same thing to me just yesterday, using an earthier analogy. Go on." Frisky mares in heat.

"You find Jannon attractive, and he's been your friend for years." Tia leaned back, rubbing her gravid belly. "You know, of course, that I was married previously. Long before you were born, my dear. A very unhappy experience. The differences between my first husband and Reison are night and day. I like and respect Reison as a person, and even when I'm angry with him, he treats me with respect in return, and as an equal. He's not just my lover, he's also my best friend. Of course, not every friend will make a good mate, Anya. However, if you pick a mate with whom you can also be friends, well, trust me when I say they are the ones to have."

Anya hit the couch with her fist. "Why? Why, if he loves me, why hasn't he ever said anything to me? Why didn't he just come out and say it?"

There was a knock at the door.

"That, my dear Anya, is a very good question. When you get home, you ask him. No, I can get up. You stay." Tia leaned over and slowly pulled herself up. "You're looking calmer. I think you have some things settled, yes? That's good." She paused at the door before letting Jo in. "Let's have some lunch and talk about a few more things, and then I'm going to set you some tasks before you confront him."

* * * * * * * Chapter 12 * * * * * * *

Chanli waited while Anya spent nearly two hours talking with the priestess. When they came down the stairs together, Chanli thought Anya looked much better; resolved and in control of herself again – and oddly, irritated. But her pain and confusion had been eased. Chanli approved.

Rather than wait for a driver, Anya insisted they walk home. She needed to think, she said. The half-hour walk passed in silence.

Sergeant Eleanor Whitestar greeted them at the door. "Welcome home, Lady Anya. We have missed you."

Anya greeted the elf-maid warmly. "Thank you, Eleanor. Where are my officers?"

"The Lieutenant is in the gym, practicing her sword drill, Lady. Captain Fisher has been in his office since yesterday morning."

"Eleanor, I'm going to my personal quarters. Please ask my cousin Jaima to come to me. Chanli, before you head off, please attend me."

Anya strode briskly down the hall and up the stairs. Oddly, it felt like she had been gone for years. Was it only yesterday that this all began? she wondered. Out of habit, she paused to check the magical wards outside her room. None of them had been disturbed. She flung the door open, heading over to her dresser and full-length mirror. The dress from the inn was nice enough, she thought, but she had paid Pericles ten times its true worth. The price of convenience she supposed.

Chanli waited patiently several paces behind her.

Anya caught sight of her in the mirror and turned. "You have the sacks of coin and gems I gave you this morning? Good. Set them on the bed." When Chanli unlimbered her pack and laid them out, Anya took the smaller one and handed it to Chanli. "This is for you."

"Lady?" Chanli was stunned.

"Think of it as a bonus. You've learned a lot about me, and when I was feeling very vulnerable, you comforted me. That means a lot. You can spend the money, give it away, do something for all those siblings you told me about, invest it, or even put it away for your retirement. Do whatever you wish. If you want, you can even take the money and strike out on your own. However, you should know that I want you to stay."

"I gave you my oath pledge as a free woman, Lady," she answered, then fidgeted.

Anya almost laughed. "Chanli, now that you've been loosed, I can see that keeping you from speaking your mind is going to be a very sore trial for you. Tell me what you're thinking."

"If you spend so much money, won't you go broke? I like you, Lady, but I'm worried that you will impoverish yourself with such generosity. If you become poor, what will we do?"

Anya was pleased. "I appreciate your concern. However, I won the smaller bag last night at the tables. The larger bag is the change for the gems I presented. As for my wealth, I assure you that I have plenty more where that came from. Many of my early adventures on behalf of my father were–shall we say?–profitable. In addition, I have lands and business holdings. And remember about what I told you about ruling."

Sudden insight flashed in Chanli's eyes. "You are doing for me because you know me. I'm in your direct sphere. Just like you helped Chloe."

"Exactly. Unless you have other questions, you should go get cleaned up, eat a hot meal, and get some sleep. I'll tell Lieutenant Starshine you are off duty until tomorrow."

Chanli saluted. "Lady." Hefting the bag, she beamed happily as she left.

Almost immediately, there was a knock at the door. Anya sighed. "Come!"

Jaima Starshine entered, closing the door behind her. "Lady, you summoned me?"

Anya went over to the dresser and picked up a brush. Pulling out the hair clasp, she began brushing out her long blonde tresses. "Yes, Jaima, I did. Have a seat, please."

Jaima went over to a stuffed chair and sat down, flushed and sweating from her exertions in the gym. "How did Chanli do, Lady?"

Anya glanced at her in the mirror, her hand brushing out her hair firmly. "She did very well. At your earliest opportunity, start giving her officer training. I also want you to recruit a regular retinue of troops. A battalion's worth. Two companies of infantry, one of archers, and two troops of medium horse. I'll get you the gold in the next few days."

Jaima looked surprised. "Lady? We don't have room to house them here. And won't the Queen be concerned you are raising such a force, especially here in the capital?"

"Tia Whisper Wind told me that the sylvan elves burned Athens three nights ago."

Jaima was stunned. The City of the Suns was a huge city of more than forty thousand people, further down the Crescent River, where it was joined by the River Seine. On the southeast bank of the Seine was the Christian city of Saint Petersburg, with nearly ten thousand humans. The small Hellene fishing village of Athens, abutting the forest on the southwest side, had numbered less than a thousand. "Ever since our people came here, the sylvan elves have been our allies," Jaima said. "Do you think war will come? And do you think Whitestar will leave?"

Anya put down the brush and turned around. "I hope not, to both of your questions. But if war comes, I want to be ready to return home to the City of the Suns as soon as possible."

Jaima nodded, rising from the chair. "Very well, Lady Anya. Anything else?"

"Chanli is to have the rest of the day off. After that, she can return to whatever schedule you deem fit. That's all." Anya returned to the dresser and opened her cosmetic case.

"What about Captain Fisher, Lady?"

"What about him?" Anya quickly applied kohl eyeliner, then reached for the lipstick.

"He–he told me what happened, Lady."

Anya spun around, her face dark with fury. "What? Has he been bragging about it?"

Jaima put her hands up in protest. "No, Lady! I had to force it out of him. I assure you, neither of us said anything to anyone. Not that it would have done any good."

Anya put her hands on her hips, her eyes narrowed. "Just what do you mean by that?"

"Roberto, Lady. He talked about the noises he heard when you and the captain ...."

"I see. So, my personal life is household gossip, is it?"

"Yes. I mean no, Lady. Most of them are circumspect, and those of us who've been with you awhile, we make sure that whatever is said, is said respectfully. Of that you can be assured. Several of us – we've already talked to Roberto."

Anya raised her eyebrows.

"We don't put up with anyone talking rudely about you. You're our liege and you're also my kinswoman. But what about Captain Fisher? He loves you, you know." She looked away. "He hasn't even looked at anyone else in a long time."

"He loves me? He told you this? How long have you known this, Jaima?" she demanded quietly. "How long?"

Jaima hung her head in shame. "Almost two years now."

"Two years!" Anya took a long breath. "As you just reminded me, you are my kinswoman and pledged to serve and guard my House. You took oaths of fealty, to look after my interests as if they were your own. Whatever possessed you to keep such a secret from me?"

"He has served you well and he is the captain of your personal guard, and my superior officer. He ordered me to silence." Jaima looked up, seeing the anger and betrayal in her Mistress' eyes. She slowly dropped to her knees. "Wh-what will you do to him?"

Anya looked at her oddly. "No words for yourself?"

Jaima looked shattered, tears running down her cheeks. "No, Lady. I have no excuse. It's your right to punish and dismiss me dishonorably."

"I am furious, but I know enough to not act on that rage. Get out."

Jaima looked up fearfully. "Are you going to charge him?"

So that's what I looked like, Anya thought. But I see no doubt in her eyes. She doesn't care about herself, only him. Is she in love with him, too? The second proverb came unbidden to her thoughts: Love cannot be coerced or shackled and endure. It arises unlooked for, and in defiance of all reason or consequence, goes where it will. Anya turned away. "No, I'm not going to charge him. Now get out, Jaima, before I do something we'll both regret!"

Jaima scrambled to her feet and hurried out, leaving the door ajar.

Anya exhaled, then went over and sat on the edge of her bed. Her rational mind warred with her heart. She knew if Jannon left her service, she'd probably lose Jaima as well. Besides the grief of losing two people she considered friends, there was also the political threat. War with the sylvan elves seemed a real possibility. Anya closed her eyes. If it turned out that Jannon didn't love her, he really would have to leave. She would recommend them both, so some other House would have their skills.

Ten years.

Once she admitted she loved him, she knew she wanted to be held in Jannon's strong arms once again. She wanted to feel him inside her, but more than that, to sleep in the same bed next to him, and wake up beside him. She wanted his children.

Pregnant.

Tia also told her she was going to have a child, and Jannon was the father. Tia had then asked if she wanted the spell to confirm it. Anya knew it wasn't necessary. She'd been around her own mother enough not to question how or why priests knew things.

No. If she couldn't have Jannon, she would grieve, but she'd let him go without malice. What her daughter would do, Anya dared not dwell upon.

Anxious, she stood up and began to pace.

If he confessed his love and how foolish he'd been, it would sooth her injured pride. If he answered her questions satisfactorily, she would propose to him, today. Tradition held that whoever was head of the household then served in the bedroom. Some marriages, like her parents, were true partnerships, even though her mother had given up her House name and her rank as princess upon her marriage. Anya knew she would be happy to have Jannon as her partner, or to rule with him as consort. But she would not marry into his House, with him as head of the household. Anya was determined to keep her right to rule the duchy.

She shook her head. No more delays. The tension between her and Jannon had been building for a long time. Whatever the ending, the dam had burst and the torrents had already left injured in its wake. Best to finish it up, now, before more emotional casualties were claimed.

Anya stormed out of her bedroom and down to his office.

Two raps outside, a pause, then she flung open the door.

He was seated in his chair, staring out the window. He turned when she entered. A day's growth of beard on his face, and it looked like he had slept little if at all. Part of her was happy to see he fared worse, but another part of her wanted to hold and comfort him. Anya shut the door. "Good. You're here."

Jannon nodded.

She put her hands on her hips. "Why did you do it, Jannon?"

"I have no excuse, Lady Anya," he answered quietly. "I will abide by your judgment, whatever you decide."

"I don't want excuses or servility, damn it! Answer my question! Why?"

"I couldn't stand the thought of you being with another man."

Her heart leaped. More quietly, she said, "Why didn't you just ask me?"

"Would you have said yes?"

"Maybe! I don't know because I wasn't asked! Why can't you stand me being with another man, Jannon? Tell me!"

"Because I love you, Anya. I see you and I don't want to be with anyone else. I knew we couldn't be together, but when I saw you in that blue dress, advertising your desire, your readiness for sex and a child, I had to have you."

Elation filled her. "You love me? I–what? Wait a minute." Anya came around the desk and leaned close. "Why can't we be together?"

Jannon looked up at her. "Because I promised your father I would never seek your hand. I was chosen to protect you. Your father was right, too. And I wouldn't be content unless we were married."