Could You Be Mine? Pt. 02

Ellie laughed, "You dork!" She placed a hand on my cheek, "I loved that you invited me. I hesitated because you looked like a deer in headlights after you asked. Do you want to maybe check with your dad first?"

"Already did. He's all in."

"Well, in that case, I am, too!" Ellie wrapped her arms and legs around me, "Seven pm?"

I nodded. I felt so happy I could burst.

"It's really too bad you have to go to work today," Ellie nipped my ear.

It's really too bad I have to go to work, period. I sighed, "I don't want to go. I want to stay with you..."

Ellie's eyes widened, "Can you stay?"

I had a sudden realization that it would be very, very, very easy for me to become Mona's worst employee ever. "Let me check," I dug around the sheets again, and finally found my phone, hiding in the pocket of my pants.

I scrolled through my calendar and to my disappointment, there were a number of meetings that I couldn't miss -- not to mention the two that I had postponed from yesterday. I hung my head in resignation. Ellie ruffled my hair, "Go shower, I'll get some breakfast together."

"Don't wanna," I flopped back on the bed.

"Come on, RJ, focus," Ellie prodded me, "The sooner you go to work, the sooner you'll be done."

"Fine," I surrendered to her logic. I dug into my suitcase for my travel kit and stomped into her bathroom.

When I finished showering and brushing my teeth, she'd tidied the room a bit and was pulling her hair up into a ponytail. She'd thrown on a t-shirt and some running shorts. She looked perfect.

"How is it that you can look that good at seven thirty in the morning?"

She kissed me on the cheek, "Oh, you can keep talking like that for as long as you'd like."

I pulled a fresh shirt out of my suitcase and threw it on the bed.

"Hm, you dragging your suitcase around has its benefits!" Ellie looked on as I finished drying off my hair.

I tossed my towel into her laundry hamper, "Enjoying the view?"

Truth be told, I'd never enjoyed being someone's 'view' quite this much.

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away," Ellie's eyes were roaming all over my body, "So, so yummy."

She let out a groan of complaint with each layer of clothing that I put on.

"Wouldn't be good form to stroll into the office naked," I reasoned, "Mona wouldn't approve... Ugh, she's going to be impossible today."

Ellie shrugged, "She's probably really happy for you, RJ. Let her have some fun. Why don't you leave your suitcase here -- swing by after work and we can leave for dinner together? Dinner's at you dad's place, yes?"

Is it really this easy? Being with someone like this? I nodded and gave her a kiss, "Good thinking, Ellie."

That kiss begged for another kiss, which begged for a longer kiss, which begged for a deeper kiss.

"You're..." kiss "going..." kiss "to be late," Ellie panted as her tongue snaked around mine.

I didn't care. I reached up under her shirt and palmed her breast.

She grabbed my wrist and pulled away, "RJ..." her eyes were lidded with arousal.

I went for her breast again and she tightened her grip on my wrist, "Seriously RJ, you do that and I'm going to have to wrap my thighs around your face."

I had no idea how I managed to get to work or get through any of my meetings that day. Ellie kept sending me texts that left me in a daze. I was right about one thing: Mona was all over me like a pig on shit. She asked about my night with Ellie (I gave her nothing), she asked why I kept checking my phone (I lied and said I wasn't), she asked if I was sexting (I acted like I was horrified at the suggestion), she asked if my dad knew about Ellie (I answered in the affirmative).

Between Ellie's interruptions and Mona's constant interrogation, I slogged through my inbox, met with various people on forgettable topics, and made a good dent in reviewing the immense stack of reports on my desk. Thankfully, time passed as it always did, and I felt no compunction shutting down my computer and leaving a little earlier than usual. Just as the screen powered down, I sensed someone hovering outside my office.

"Going so soon?" Mona leaned against the frame of my office door. I nodded as I pulled my suit jacket off the back of my chair.

"I don't think I've ever been this productive before," I smiled, "I sent you the final budget-to-actuals for all the teams year to date, and Peter has them too. The bonus accruals are looking good. Oliver did a good job pulling it together."

"What's the hurry?" Mona smirked.

"Ellie's coming to dinner with my dad tonight," I put my jacket on, "I'm going to go by her place to pick her up now."

Mona inclined her head and spoke very slowly, "You... taking Lauren to meet your dad... really?"

I nodded slowly, "Yes, really."

Mona whistled quietly.

"What?" I started to feel defensive.

"Nothing bad, RJ," Mona shook her head, "I have one thing to say and I need you to hear it, okay?"

"Okay," I leaned against my desk.

Mona let out a slow breath, "I've known you for years, and one of the things that I've had to adjust to is your ability to go from hot to cold without warning. I mean, we're friends, so it doesn't feel as jarring when you pull one of your radio-silence acts. I guess I'm simply asking you to be aware of that. You and Lauren have been orbiting around each other for months now. She doesn't know what it's like when you lose interest."

"I'm NOT going to lose interest in her!" I crossed my arms.

"Ok, RJ. I'm happy for you, I really am. Just... be careful. With yourself. And with Lauren."

She and I looked at each other; I knew she meant well, "I promise," I finally said. She gave me a quick hug and I headed out. I texted Ellie that I was on my way, and she had the door open when I arrived at her place. She jumped onto me, arms and legs squeezing tight.

"I've missed you," she exhaled deeply.

"I've missed you too," I happily kissed her back when her lips found mine.

"Woah! How about you guys NOT mounting each other in public?" Ian strolled into the entryway with a smile on his face. Ian was Ellie's best friend and roommate.

I carried her in and kicked the door shut, "Hey Ian!"

He chuckled, "Welcome back, RJ."

"It's good to be back," I squeezed Ellie tight, "Ellie, we should get going."

She lowered her legs, "I'll get your suitcase, sweetie, one sec." She trotted off into her room.

Ian tilted his head, "She's mad about you."

"Good," I grinned (I was grinning a lot these days), "I'm crazy about her, too."

Ian nodded, "Don't fuck it up." His friendly gaze sharpened. Oh come on, another lecture?

I smiled and nodded, "I won't."

He didn't smile, "I mean it."

"Ready, RJ?" Ellie returned before I could respond to Ian.

"Yeah," I said. I looked back at Ian, who was still holding me in his stare. I nodded earnestly at him, hoping he would understand. He nodded back, "Have fun you guys."

I was turning over Ian's words in my head as we grabbed a cab to my place. Ellie laced her fingers between mine, "What's up, RJ?"

I scrunched up my face, "Nervous."

"About me meeting your dad?"

"No," I shook my head, "Surprisingly, no. I'm... I'm nervous about fucking this up. I don't want to fuck it up, but I really don't know what I'm doing. People keep reminding me of that. And it's true." Am I even making sense?

"Honey, stop thinking about it like it's an instruction manual. What do you think this is supposed to be?" Ellie stroked the back of my hand.

I scrunched up my face again, "I don't know. Two people in love... being together? I guess?"

"And what does 'being together' mean to you?"

"Uh, two people who want to be together doing things together."

"Completely unromantic, but incredibly on point. I think we're doing perfectly fine so far," she gave me a peck on the cheek.

"So why are people making such a big deal out of it? I'm tired of the disapproving lectures."

"You've been saying you don't like stuff like this, are you surprised people are surprised?"

I grunted in frustration, "Doesn't mean I don't like it now."

"I know that, RJ," Ellie smiled, "I know what it feels like when you kiss me. But they don't."

"I am NOT kissing Mona. Or Ian. Or Sonya."

Ellie laughed, "You'd better not. Come on, let's go." She gave my hand a kiss as the cab slowed to a stop outside my building.

We stepped out of the taxi, and the cabbie unceremoniously threw my suitcase onto the sidewalk before he sped off. I went to grab it and when I looked back up, Ellie was smoothing down her shirt. Her back was arched a little, and I stood here, unable to tear my eyes away, knowing what lay beneath the layers of clothing.

She glanced over and blushed, "I love it when you look at me like that."

"Hm?" I was still in a fog.

"When you look at me like that, it feels like your eyes are making my clothes fall off."

I felt myself redden; she wasn't far from the truth, "I like looking at you like that," I took her hand, "You knock me out."

She flashed me a smile. I cleared my throat, a little embarrassed about how stupidly into her I was, "Come on, let's go in."

Joey, our doorman, flung open the door when he saw us approach, "RJ! Welcome back!"

I saw his eyes flick down quickly to our interlocked hands and back up again.

"Joey, this is Lauren Calder. Ellie, this is Joey."

"Nice to meet you," Ellie shook his hand.

"Uh, Joey, can you please get a card key for her?"

Joey nodded emphatically, "You got it, RJ."

"Thanks," I turned and guided Ellie towards the elevators.

"What's the card key for?"

I took a deep breath. I hadn't really thought it through, I realized, but it was too late to dodge the truth now, "It's for the top part of this building." I took out my wallet and waved it in front of the reader on the elevator's control panel. A door popped open and I punched the button for the seventh floor.

Ellie's eyes quickly took stock of the control panel. There were buttons for the first five floors on the panel, and if you didn't know the hidden panel existed, it would look like the building only had five floors. The hidden panel contained another four buttons.

"You own this building," Ellie stated as she quickly worked out the logic.

I nodded, "We bought it when we sold Dad's little biotech. Retro-fitted a couple things. Now we rent out the apartments on the first five floors, and we have the other floors of the building. Meeting space on six, I'm on seven, Dad's got eight, and the roof deck's on nine."

Ellie nodded, "Mmm-hm..." She muttered something under her breath as the elevator opened on the seventh floor.

"Sorry?" I held the door open for her and she stepped through.

"I said," Ellie exhaled, "'My girlfriend is fucking loaded.'"

I laughed, but stopped when I saw her face, "Wait, Ellie, are you freaking out?"

"A little," she nodded. Her eyebrows furrowed, "You probably don't have to work another day in your life, do you?"

I shrugged, "I like working. But my salary isn't my only income." I pushed open the front door. We stepped in and Ellie looked around. My heart was pounding in my chest, I didn't want to have my bank account be the thing that made this thing break.

"I don't want this to be weird between us," she took my hand, "It's going to take some getting used to, though."

"Okay," my heart rate decreased slightly, "I don't want it to be weird, either."

Ellie took a deep breath, "So we promise to talk about stuff, okay? Everything on the table. No assumptions about money stuff, ever."

"I promise," I nodded. My phone buzzed. It was a text from my dad, saying dinner was almost ready. "We better head up."

I took her hand and led her to interior staircase that connected the sixth floor through to the roof deck. The first thing that hit me when I opened the door to my father's apartment was the rich smell of Chinese home cooking. Ellie looked at me, "If this is what dinner at your house is like every night, sign me up."

I chuckled, "No, I think Dad's pulling out all the stops. No complaints from me, either."

"Anything else I need to know?"

I made a face, "I don't think so. He doesn't talk much, so don't take it personally."

"Like father, like daughter?" Ellie gave my hand a squeeze.

I shrugged, "I'm a regular Chatty-Cathy compared to him. Come on in."

We walked into the kitchen and my father handed me a spatula, "Finish this up, Rowan," he wiped his hands on a dish towel and extended a hand to Ellie.

I found myself unable to object, so I dutifully turned to the wok, which was sizzling festively on the stove. I kept Ellie in my sightline. My father gave her hand a firm shake, "William Kan. So nice of you to join us for dinner!"

Shockingly, my dad kept talking: He asked Ellie about herself, told her about himself, and even gave her a mini-cultural tour of the food he'd made. If I hadn't had searing hot oil inches from my skin, I would have thought I was hallucinating.

But the pop of the oil and the smell of the pea shoots were real enough. I plated the greens and carried it over to the table. For the next hour and a bit, I was completely sidelined in the Dad and Ellie show. They chatted like long-lost friends. I found out things I didn't even know I could find out.

"You know," Dad mused as he offered Ellie more wine, "we debated whether to go with Lauren or Rowan for this one." He pointed the bottle towards me.

I lowered my chopsticks, "You never told me that!"

My father waved a hand, "It never came up. Anyway. Rhiannon, Rowan's mom, made the final call. Prescient, I think. Otherwise, there'd be two Laurens at the table!"

"Why did it come down to those two names?" Ellie took a sip of wine.

"We wanted to find an English name that was a good transliteration of Rowan's Chinese name, which we gave her first. It was important to Rhia... and to me, that it would happen in that order."

My mouth was catching flies. This was as much as my father had talked about my mother in my memory. Unsurprisingly, Ellie handled it beautifully. She said just enough to acknowledge her sympathy for my mother's death but helped steer the conversation into easier territory. I felt like someone was playing emotional pinball in my head. When Ellie excused herself to go to the bathroom at the end of the meal, my father and I retreated to our customary silence.

"Dad?" I twisted the stem of my wine glass.

He grunted.

"I liked that you told Ellie about mom."

He put down his wine glass gently, "I liked it too. She's very special."

"Who? Mom?"

"Yes, but that's not what I meant," Dad leaned forward, "I meant Lauren. I like her a lot. And you! You're smitten. Every time you look at her, you look like a lost puppy."

He leaned over and squeezed my shoulder, "I'm happy to see it."

I took a breath, "I liked hearing about mom, too..." I glanced at him quickly, trying to gauge his reaction.

He squeezed my shoulder again, and let it out a long breath, "I guess I didn't know how to go about doing it without making both of us sad. But we seem to have survived it!"

I nodded. The number of massive shifts going on was almost too much to process.

The two of us sat in silence for a little longer before my father got up and started moving stuff back into the kitchen. I did the same. When Ellie came back, the three of us finished cleaning up. It was like we'd done it this way forever. It felt new, and familiar, and scary, and just-like-home. After saying good night to my dad, we headed back downstairs, and my brain was on the verge of imploding.

"Hey," Ellie nudged me with her shoulder.

"Hey back," I nudged her in return.

"You okay?"

I collapsed onto my couch, "Yes... well, no... that was a lot. A LOT." I felt tears were starting to betray me so I shut my eyes. I wanted to run. I hated crying in front of people.

"Oh, honey," Ellie's voice was warm. It was oddly reassuring.

I thumbed away a wayward tear and looked up at her, "I hate crying."

A tissue magically appeared. I looked around, trying to find a tissue box, but saw none.

"I nabbed some when I went to the bathroom. You looked like your emotions were going eight rounds with the great Ali and not having an easy time of it. I figured they may come in handy."

I could only look up at her in wonder. I smiled weakly. I was still mortified that I was losing my composure.

"I know what a big deal this was. I'm not surprised you're feeling raw." Ellie sat down next to me.

I leaned my head on her shoulder, "It's scary how you know all this."

She kissed me on my head, "RJ, you may put on this sphinx-like demeanor -- and it works very well for you -- but one only needs to pay attention... and I very much like paying attention to you... to see you and your big heart sitting right under the surface."

Oh.

"I like that you invited me to dinner. I liked meeting your dad. But mostly," Ellie leaned forward, "I liked knowing that we have the rest of the evening to ourselves."

I sniffed, "I feel like an emotional wreck. Not exactly attractive." I wouldn't have faulted Ellie if she was looking for the nearest exit...

She straddled my thighs and cradled my face in her hands, "I want to get to know you. And I want you to get to know me... I'm fairly confident the attraction factor isn't going away any time soon, even if you are a little weepy..."

I blinked a little, trying to put together the words she was saying in my head. She was making total sense, of course, I'd never talked with a lover about navigating a relationship. It felt jarring and strangely soothing, all at the same time.

I tilted my head, "So... you aren't changing your mind about us?"

A slight smile teased the corner of her mouth as she shook her head, "No-o-o-o."

"Even though I am probably coming across as a little effed up?"

"Listen, if you want effed up, come home with me for an extended-Calder family dinner. I'm usually curled up in a fetal position by hour two."

"What do you mean?" It was hard for me to imagine Ellie in that much distress.

"My aunt and my father share DNA, but that's about it. I don't know why they still insist of getting together for the holidays. If you want to know my aunt's view on anything, all you have to do is take the total opposite of what my dad thinks. Family dinners usually descend into an icy silence before the turkey is even served."

"Okay..." I wasn't quite seeing where she was going with this.

"So," she rested her forehead against mine for a beat before leaning back, "how about we assume we each have some emotional wreckage not in plain view and go from there?"

Oh. I let out a slow breath, "Okay. I can do that."

"Good," she smiled, "Now, I'm not saying I'm an expert at relationships, but I am saying I want to make this work with you -- if you want to make it work with me."

And in that moment, I realized -- with some wonder -- that she was asking for a commitment that I was one hundred percent ready to sign up for, "I do..."

"Good," she said again before sitting up and looking at me quite seriously, "RJ, you know we can slow this down, right? If you're feeling like this is too much..."

Absolutely not. This may be different and destabilizing, but it was definitely not too much, "No, no, this is good. This is good."

There was a beat, and then she pressed her hips, ever so gently, into me. "How about this? Is this good?"

Ellie was very close... very warm... and very distracting. I was particularly distracted by the open neck of her button-down shirt; the fabric had bent open and I followed the slope of her flesh downwards...

She leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I think maybe you should show me your bedroom, RJ. You're undressing me with your eyes again..."