Dead and Horny Ch. 21

The werewolf went quiet and the two sat in silence, listening to the nocturnal symphony of insects in the swamp. In the distance, something let out a rumble that sounded vaguely like a motorcycle.

"What was that?" asked Dana.

"A gator. We're out in the middle of nowhere and this is their territory."

"Should we be worried about them?" Dana started to rise, but Tasia patted her gently on the shoulder.

"No, we're good. Most animals have a sense about what they shouldn't mess with. You'd think gators are dumb, but you have to remember that they're all instinct. When something like me comes around, they tend to run off and..." Tasia's voice drifted and she went silent. Dana tilted her head up to see that the werewolf was staring off into the distance.

"You okay?"

"What? Yeah, just thinking about something. When I landed in Florida, I had a run-in with a massive gator."

"Better than Florida Man," Dana replied, tapping her feet on the ground to test them out.

"It's not that, it's..." Tasia's face was hard to make out in the dark, but she had started rocking on her log. "Holy shit."

Dana stood on wobbly legs before losing her balance and sitting abruptly next to Tasia. The werewolf was breathing through her mouth now, her body language suddenly dangerous.

"You okay?"

"No. I'm not." Tasia turned to look at Dana, and it was clear her face had shifted slightly into wolf mode. "I was just wondering if that big gator was running from something that spooked it."

"Like what?"

"The guy who put me in this position." She shivered, then scooted closer to Dana. Her body was hot to the touch. "Someone has been hunting down Order operatives, and I think he may have been snooping around one of our secret bases. If that's true, he was probably there when I arrived."

"Why?"

"That's just it, we don't know. He almost exclusively targets older members, which means he was probably after the woman he killed at the real estate office. But the real problem here is he knew where to look." Tasia looked at Dana. "The Order has so many locations across the world, I doubt anyone knows all of them. So how did he track a specific agent down to one hideout in the middle of nowhere?"

Dana shrugged. "I guess the bigger question is why did he wait to get her later? If he's such a badass, then why the sudden caution at your arrival? Based on what you told me about your capture, your monster status was a bit of a surprise."

Tasia dropped her hands to the log beneath her and started tearing long strips of wood away with her elongated nails. "That's right. That guy stayed behind to make sure I was captured, but made it sound like I was just a bonus. Damn, I feel like it's right on the tip of my tongue."

They sat in silence, Tasia quietly stripping bark with her fingers until the phone in Dana's bag vibrated. She pulled it out and put it on speakerphone.

"Why are you two just standing there?" asked Eulalie. "Wait, are you fucking? Or did you just fuck?"

"Right to the point, this one," grumbled Tasia.

"Not yet," replied Dana. "What do you have for us?"

"You're still a few miles out from the church, but I have something for you that can't wait. Those demons you've been running from? All one demon."

"What?" Tasia actually stood up.

"Yeah, that's what I said. One demon, lots of meat suits."

"How do you know that?" asked Dana.

"Lily told me. She's fine, by the way. Just needs someone to pull her butt out of the fire."

"That's not possible," Tasia said, speaking over Eulalie. "Demons can only possess one body at a time."

"Not this one, apparently. He found a way to bypass the rules. It's why you couldn't track him with the pendulum, it was pointing to his nearest vessels or whatever. I didn't get much more from Lily before he caught on that I was talking to her."

"Did he hack into your call?" asked Tasia.

"Yes, actually."

"Fuck." Tasia shook her head. "A demon who can possess multiple people and hear your phone calls. That elevates the risk substantially. Add in the vampire, and we're woefully unprepared."

"Which is why I need the two of you to hurry up and get there. I've got a plan that hinges on having a pair of tough bitches."

"Don't be rude," said Dana.

"I'm not, I'm being cautious. The moment a paranormal entity jacked into my phone call, I realized that more precautions are needed. I had the rats do a sweep of where Lily is being held. There are some armed guards at the border, but that's it for heavy weaponry. The vampire is your main issue."

"He won't be nearly as hard this time." Tasia made a fist, her knuckles cracking dramatically when she squeezed. "I can go full wolf on him."

"What do we need to do to kill a vampire?" asked Dana.

"I checked with my sources," said Eulalie. "If he really is old school, you cut off his head and then stab him through the heart."

"I would like to point out that you can kill anybody that way."

"If he really is an old school vamp, you're not even technically killing him. The only reason you do both is a headless vampire can't control their limbs to pull out the stake. Stabbing it through the heart weakens the body so that it can't go find the head and reattach it. If you do both, they enter a sort of hibernation until they finally expire sometime later. It's a whole thing."

"Modern day ones are far more fragile," added Tasia. "Stake through the heart will do it. Sunlight will incinerate the weaker ones. They don't have enough stolen lifeforce in their veins to persist."

"So what's the deal with the cross?" asked Dana.

"Guilt, maybe? The jury is out on that one. But for whatever reason, the permission to enter thing is real. Nobody knows why. The one chasing you actually got permission to enter your Florida rental from the landlord. I already left them a 1-star review."

"Wow, what a punishment." Tasia crossed her arms. "I'm sure someone will really lose sleep over that."

"I'm already on one quest for revenge. I'll add them to the list."

"Okay, so what's the plan? Sneak in, grab Lily, then bail?"

Eulalie was silent for several seconds before she cleared her throat. "Well...no. You see, based on everything I can tell, all of the demon's meat suits will be in one place."

"And?" Dana made sure to add an edge to her voice.

"And what? You've discovered a demon's nest, so you burn it to the ground. Based on what I already know, this isn't a small issue. It's actually bad enough that I'd recommend the Order get involved if they weren't so eager to put a bullet in both of you."

"I'm actually with her on this." Tasia was staring at the phone, her face lit by the glow of the display. "We're looking at the supernatural equivalent of a virus, ready to explode. This Deacon guy, he's been doing his hustle for years, and I'm willing to bet it's part of the demon's game. It'll only get worse from here."

Dana sighed, realizing that she wasn't going to get either of them to back down. "So it's not just a rescue mission, then."

"Lily is a heavy hitter. They're keeping her in an iron cage near the main hall, or whatever it's called where the congregation is. Once she's out of her prison, the three of you will be more than enough for the demon or the priest."

"And what about the vampire?"

Eulalie grunted. "I have a plan for him, too."

"And do we get to hear this plan?"

There was another long pause, and Dana briefly wondered if they disconnected. "Not yet. My rats are all over the church right now. I'll have something for you when you get there. I have to go. Turn your phone off when you're close. I don't want the demon noticing you by accident."

The connection terminated and Dana slid the phone into her pocket. She inhaled deeply through her nose, taking in the scent of the swamp, then let it all out with an exasperated sigh.

"So much for my swamp hookup," she muttered, then did a couple of leg bends to make sure they worked correctly.

"That's quite the assumption," Tasia said. "What makes you think I'd hook up with you out here?"

"Because you belong outside, in the middle of nature. It's far more comfortable than the back of a rental car, and I would have eaten you out until you screamed my name." Dana's thighs suddenly itched, but she ignored it. "I would have been very persuasive."

Tasia chuckled. "Maybe we can make time for it after we murder some demons."

"For the record, I still think it's a bad idea." Dana slid the backpack onto her shoulders. "Eulalie isn't thinking."

"The Rat Queen?"

"Yeah. This demon we're hunting is the reason her sister got murdered. She's far too emotionally invested."

"Sometimes being emotionally invested makes you stronger," Tasia pointed out. "Gives you inner strength."

"While removing perspective." Dana checked the map on her phone again, then turned in the direction of the church. "So you're planning to go full wolf when we get there?"

"I am." The two of them started walking, the ground squishing under their feet. "I'm far stronger as the wolf, but you know that."

"I remember. Little slow with the sword, though."

Tasia snorted. "Yeah, that's my own stupid fault. Order swords are enchanted. It physically hurts me to touch it when I'm transformed. When I'm the wolf, it's like a tightrope between logic and instinct. Logic dictates I use the blade. Instinct says to use my teeth."

"So stop overthinking." Dana patted Tasia on the butt. "Become the proper murder machine you were meant to be, then reel it back in when you need to think things through."

"You say that like it's so easy."

"Oh, trust me. I know exactly how hard it is. That's why I have someone like Lily around. As counterintuitive as this sounds, she helps keep me grounded."

"A good partner always should."

The two of them hiked through the swamp, occasionally wading through bogs that came up to their hips. The swamp went quiet at their approach, followed by the sound of animals scurrying away from them through the brush. Cicadas would occasionally blast the air with mating songs, clearly not worried about the duo as they wandered the marsh.

Eventually, distant lights appeared through the thick vegetation, and the two of them started climbing a long, sloped yard with tall grass. They barely had to crouch to remain unseen as they reached the edge of the property. A makeshift parking lot was packed with cars and with Deacon's tour bus parked right next to the building. The building itself was slightly ramshackle, but some improvements had been recently made. It was far larger than expected, and had what looked like living quarters built along the south side.

Dana made sure to text Eulalie then turn off her phone as they made their final approach. A small group of men patrolled the grounds with rifles loosely held against their bodies.

"What a bunch of suckers," Tasia muttered.

"I'm sure they're making good money," Dana replied. "It's a nice night out, get a little exercise in, what more could you want?"

"How many of them are we going to kill tonight?" Tasia turned toward Dana with a grim smile.

"Honestly, not many as long as they're good little boys and run away once the shit hits the fan." Dana studied the church. "Best point of entry?"

"I'm still looking...what about there?" Tasia pointed at a window up on the second floor that had been left open. "That may be our best point of entry."

"I can make it, but can you?" Dana arched an eyebrow.

"Please. I was a knight of the Order long before I was a werewolf."

They crouched down amongst the foliage and waited for an opening. Soon enough, it came when one of the guards on rotation stopped to listen to something on the radio clipped to his vest. Dana and Tasia sprinted toward the house, keeping low and out of the lights shed by the nearby windows. When they reached the house, Tasia went first. The werewolf leapt into the air, grabbing the window sill with her fingertips and pulling herself inside. Unable to match that feat, Dana did a wall run that got her high enough for Tasia to pull her inside.

The room was an office with a small bed in the corner. On the bed was an open suitcase packed full of women's clothes. A simple nightgown had been laid out next to the luggage, and a dress hung from a hanger on a nearby coat rack.

"The daughter, I'm guessing." Tasia sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose. "Damn, this whole building stinks of demon. It's all I can smell."

"Shh." Dana moved to the door and put her ear against it. "That's weird, it's so quiet. Isn't this place packed with people?"

"It's supposed to be. But are they normal people, or demon people? If they're all one demon, they don't need to talk to each other, which just leaves Deacon and the vampire."

"And the daughter." Dana moved back over to the luggage and rifled through its innards. There were a few romance novels tucked beneath the clothes, along with a vibrator and a chocolate stash. She picked up a candy bar and showed it to Tasia. "Can you still eat chocolate?"

"I'm not dignifying that with a response."

A bright light swept across the yard outside, and Dana moved to the window. A car had turned onto the long drive, its headlights pointed at the church. Frowning, she looked at Tasia.

"Someone else is here."

"And? The more the merrier at this point." Tasia took the candy bar from Dana and unwrapped it. "I'm fucking starved."

"Just don't make yourself sick." Dana was about to crack the door when she heard footsteps in the hall. She moved back from the door, but whoever it was kept going. Through the wall, she could hear Deacon muttering.

"Thar e ith," mumbled Tasia around her chocolate bar. She swallowed hard and smacked her sternum with a closed fist. "Deacon. He sounds upset."

"About what?"

"Hold on." Tasia moved to the door and put her ear against it, then held a finger to her lips. "He's talking to someone else. They're going down to meet somebody."

The knight put her hand on the knob and slowly turned it, then cracked the door open to peek outside. She gestured for Dana to follow, and the two of them moved out into the hallway. The hallway turned out to be a balcony overlooking a full congregation of people. Down below, the crowd all had their eyes fixed on a set of double doors, as if waiting for the bride to enter at a wedding.

They crouched down and moved along the hall, keeping their eyes on the people below. There was a large area that was currently obscured by a curtain, but it was on the other side of the building. Thinking that's where Lily was being kept, Dana tapped on Tasia's shoulder and motioned in that direction. The werewolf nodded and continued on her path, stopping near the end of the hall.

A small bridge connected the two sides of the building, but it was rather exposed. As far as Dana could tell, nobody was looking, but she also couldn't see everybody beneath them. Frowning, she scanned the area, wondering if there was a stairwell or something she had missed.

The double doors opened, and an ominous figure in a tan duster and a wide-brimmed wool hat stepped through, his shoulders so wide they brushed the half-open doorway. A chill went through the air, and the entire congregation stood at attention.

"Where is my werewolf, Deacon?" The man's voice had a rich timbre that echoed through the room, but it was cold and sharp, like a knife. She couldn't see his face, but it was clear he was surveying the room.

Deacon stumbled through the door, sweat pouring down his face. His jaw moved as if he was chewing when he spoke.

"There was a complication," he began, then went still when the hat man turned to face him.

"I am not one of your sheep, Osgrove." Hat Man grabbed Deacon's collar in a meaty fist and pulled him forward. "Do you have her?"

Dana looked at Tasia, and was stunned to see that her features had gone white with terror. She was perfectly still, her eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. When Dana turned back to the scene below, she saw that the vampire had pulled Deacon free of the big man's grip.

"No, but--" Deacon didn't get a chance to finish. The Hat Man reached for the nearest person, an older woman with short hair in a blazer, and pulled her toward him. He hooked his fingers into her collarbones and pressed down, then out. In one swift motion, he ripped her ribcage open, spraying the hall and floor with blood. A ripple of shock went through the people below, but they otherwise remained silent.

"I spent half a day coming out here, Deacon." Hat Man leveled a bloody finger in Osgrove's direction. "Tell me I haven't wasted my time."

"Y-y-y-you d-did not." It was all Deacon could do to get the words out. "W-we have something else for you...instead!"

Hat Man sighed. "And?"

"A succubus. We've got her in the loading bay, behind the kitchen."

"Insufficient." Hat Man reached for a man in his Sunday best, then paused to survey the room. "Ah. I see. You knew this was coming."

"I saw it as a possibility, yes," replied the old man. "I've worked too hard to see it all come undone."

Hat Man looked at Deacon and his vampire, who had taken several steps back by now. "And you think all of your puppets can stop me?"

"No." The old man shook his head. "I may be damned, but I'm realistic."

"I see." Hat Man reached into his coat and pulled out a rag, which he used to wipe the blood off his hands. "You were prepared to flee because you knew that what you had wasn't good enough and hoped I wouldn't come after you. Astute."

"Hey." Dana looked at Tasia, who was still motionless. "What's wrong with you?"

The werewolf didn't reply. Instead, she let out a nearly silent whine.

"Perhaps it's time you all had a reminder of who you are dealing with." Hat Man stuck his rag back in his coat. "So I've decided I'm taking the girl with me, the one you keep locked up in her coffin."

"No!" The vampire threw himself at Hat Man, who casually swatted him away. The vampire hit a nearby support beam so hard that the wood splintered and broke apart.

"Oh, yes," replied the man in the hat. "She will be an interesting specimen to study."

"No, please, anything but that!" The vampire fell to his knees and said something in a language Dana didn't understand. The man in the hat responded in kind, and the vampire moved to attack him again, but was knocked away.

"Where?" asked Hat Man. When nobody answered, he moved with incredible speed, ripping the arm off of the well-dressed man. The guy wavered for a moment before collapsing on the ground.

"Where?" he repeated, then grabbed another nearby parishioner and crushed their skull in his hands.

"Holy fuck," Dana whispered. Just who was this guy?

"Where?" asked Hat Man again as he moved into the hall. An elderly woman with a walker sighed and gestured to a spot Dana couldn't see.

"In a truck out back," she muttered. When the vampire cried out, she just shook her head. "Running isn't an option anymore, Timotei."

Timotei screamed insults in his native tongue, then tried to attack Hat Man yet again. The man slammed the vampire onto the ground and grabbed a splinter of wood from the nearby shattered column. With a practiced motion, he shoved the wood through Timotei's chest.

"That will keep you," he muttered, then turned to walk out the front door. When the doors closed, Tasia took Dana by the hand and tugged her toward the bridge. Everybody was busy watching either the door or the vampire struggling on the ground, so they crossed unseen. Once in the stairwell at the opposite end, Tasia paused long enough to lean against the wall and catch her breath.

"What the hell is going on with you?" asked Dana.

"I've never felt anything like it," Tasia replied. "Remember that whole thing about gators from earlier? Where they instinctively know not to fuck with something?"