He looks right at me but I can see his mind is puzzling over the dilemma I've presented. I can see that he wants to. The old dilemma of "what I should do" .vs. "what I want to do". I'm about to say something when I decide just to be quiet and let him turn it over and over in his mind.

"Jake," he says. "I really would like to help you out but I simply can't spare the time. We do have a few attorneys in the firm that specialize in family law. Let me call up their AA and get you on their ..."

"Susie would eat them for breakfast and you know it." I interrupt. We stare at each other for a moment before he holds his hands as if they were tied.

"Yeah, I know," I comprehend. "What if," I launch one last try, "I prepare all the drafts. I have to dust off some old skills. But if you give me a few pointers I'm sure I can generate some drafts that you will only need to tweak. This will minimize the amount of time you have to allocate. Yet I still get to make use of your talents."

He looks at me in a new light. "You'll agree not only to be my paralegal, but also my doting client? You won't try and assume control and turn this into a circus?"

"Oh hell," I laugh. "I can't promise that at all!"

He smiles and sits back in his chair. Sighing, he finally says, "I'm a fool."

That means you'll do it?"

"Yeah, but I'm going to regret this somehow. Is there another meeting scheduled or any documents that are required right now?"

Smiling, "Bill I can't thank you enough."

"Wait until you see my fees."

I laugh. "There's no meeting scheduled right now." Bud Green has the original evidence that he's looking over. We have some anecdotal evidence the pictures have been staged but nothing concrete. The only two things I currently have scheduled is trying to see Heidi this afternoon and the meeting with the Review Committee day after tomorrow.

"Heidi, Ms. Bevis is, or perhaps was, your AA?"

"Yes."

"I don't think it's a very good idea for you to see her."

"Who will? I can guarantee you that she won't see anyone from this firm. It's me or no one."

"I still don't like it."

"I don't either. Hell there's a lot of things that have happened of late that I don't like."

"You really don't think she signed that affidavit?"

"I know it. She wouldn't say shit with a mouthful, much less perjure herself. And we didn't have sex. Not even Clinton style. No way did she sign that affidavit."

He sits back in his chair for a moment and thinks. Finally he leans forward. "OK. Go out and talk to her. But I have one stipulation. I want one of my paralegal's to go with you to document what is said."

"You don't understand. She's a very shy person and keeps to herself. I may have a hard enough time trying to see her by myself. If I take along a stranger, no she won't go for that."

"Just a few minutes ago you agreed that I call the shots. I don't want you to talk to her without a witness. Besides, I'm guessing you're quite resourceful and persuasive. I'm betting you can talk her into meeting you with my paralegal in attendance. Jake, if I'm going to be your lawyer then I will call the shots. You are not meeting your AA without someone there to document what happens."

I smile. "OK, you win. When would your paralegal be available?"

"When do you want to see Ms. Bevis?"

"Now if I can."

"Let me make a phone call ...," he says reaching for the phone.

"Fine," I respond. "And while you're doing that let me find a time when we can see her." I stand and move toward the window. I have both Heidi's cell and home phone numbers. I'm surprised I can't reach her at either number. For a moment I consider leaving her a message but decide better of it.

"No luck?" Bill inquires when I turn back to him.

I shake my head.

"Janine is on her way over here anyway. She's the one I want to go with you to document any meeting. What I'm going to do is introduce you and then leave you in her capable hands. Also, from what you've told me about your situation both before and during your marriage to Susie, I'm going to have some other members of our firm go over the divorce filing."

"But ..."

"No buts. I am going to call the shots. I told you I would run this case and I will. I'll handle all the face to face meetings with Susie and her lawyer. But we have a team of experts in this firm and I'm going to use them."

I nod in acquiescence. I didn't need to be beat over the head to know this was sound advice.

Monday 3:08 PM

"OK, I know I'm not supposed to be doing this but just where the hell is she?" I think to myself.

I stare at the front of Heidi's ranch house. I've been trying to reach her at either her home or cell number since I left Benner's office around 1 PM. "Something must be wrong," I think.

Getting out of the car I walk up to her front porch. The first thing I notice is the lawn hasn't been recently mowed or watered. I check the mailbox and find it empty, which may or may not mean anything.

Letting the lid of the mailbox fall back into place, I glance one more time up and down the street and then quickly walk around the side of the house. I peer into the first window and I'm shocked to see nothing. The house appears vacant on the inside. A very uneasy feeling starts to grip me and I quickly walk around the house on the outside, seeing the same vacant view into each window I peer. In only a minute I have circumnavigated the house and find myself puzzled and worried in front of Heidi's house.

"You thinkin' of buying?" I hear behind me, startling me.

I turn quickly to see an older man peering up at me. I relax a bit and smile. "No, I just arrived in town a few nights ago and thought I would look up an old friend. I might have the wrong address but is this where Heidi Bevis lives?" I ask innocently.

"Well, I hate to tell ya this but you missed her by a week or so. She moved out of here lock stock and barrel."

"Really?" I question. "By a week or so? That's a shame. I was hoping to share a few laughs or so. Did she moved to another part of town or did she live a forwarding address?"

"I really don't know son but I don't think she moved anywhere local. I did come over to talk to her. She was polite as usual but really didn't volunteer anything."

"I see. But you don't think she moved anywhere local?"

"Don't know anything for sure. I just had that feeling."

"Well I expect there's nothing else to do then. My loss. I do appreciate your time though."

I shake his hand and turn and walk back to my car. I can feel his eyes bore into me each step of the way. I have a feeling if he could have discovered where Heidi went, he would have.

Starting the car, I give the man a way and turn around and head back toward Bud's place. This is simply not like Heidi to leave without a word. In fact nothing seems to be "right" any longer.

Monday 4:15 PM

I tap my pen on the notepad trying to rack my brain as to my itinerary those last few days in Houston. Was it really over a week ago? Bud said he wanted a timeline of my movements and as much as I could provide on Weston and Schmidt. I knew where both of them were most of the time, but there were certainly several periods of time when we were not together.

I scoot my chair up a little closer to the desk in one of Bud's spare offices. After getting a bit worried about Heidi's whereabouts when I visited her house, I headed directly back to Bud's office to let him know what I ran into. Getting a hold of Heidi is going to be crucial to finding out why she signed that affidavit, not to mention if she knows anything at all about the pictures. But first I need to know where she moved and why!

While I was driving back to Bud's, I took a call from one of Bud's investigators. He had already located the hidden key and was ready to enter the back of my house. I stayed on the phone with him as he opened the back door and then keyed in the code to the security alarm. Bud was right; she either didn't consider or bother to change the code. As soon as he was safely passed the alarm, he rang off.

As soon as I got to Bud's, I told him about going to Heidi's. He grunted once when he learned I went there by myself. He grunted a few more times when I told him what I found. He asked me to write down everything I could think of about her name, address, any relatives, and anything else that popped into my mind. I told him that I knew her parents were dead and that she had a brother, but he was away somewhere and she didn't really like to talk about him. I gave him what I knew and he scurried off.

Monday 6:32PM

Feeling a little better I hang up the phone in my hotel room. I had called my father to thank him again for the funds and to catch him up on the day's event. He grunted when I told him about Susie dropping the "D" word on me. He said he wasn't surprised, given how she sounded over the weekend. But he also said he couldn't understand why she was rushing into it so fast. He offered hope that Susie would put on the skids when she's had a chance to slow down and think a bit. He told me to hang in there and that it would "all come out in the wash."

Prior to calling my father, I had tried to reach Susie. I know I shouldn't have tried to call her but I was hoping that maybe I could break through this impasse. Unfortunately the receptionist wouldn't pass me through, saying "Ms. Vickers is attending other affairs." In other words, Susie isn't taking my calls.

That's when I called my father. My mother answered the phone first. As soon as she heard my voice she set the phone down. I could hear her yell for my father.

I got a beer out of the mini-fridge and set down in a chair near a balcony door. It was way too cold this time of the year to go out on the balcony, but the view of the Dallas skyline was nice from inside.

On my second sip my cell phone rings. A quick glance and I recognize Bud's number.

"Hiya Bud," I answer.

"Hey Jake," comes back the answer. "I thought I would give ya a call and see how you were doing?"

I laugh. "I appreciate that Bud, but is that really why you called?"

"Of course I did, and I also called to give you at least some good news. I thought it would cheer you up."

"Did you find Heidi already?"

"No, we really just got started, so you need to be a bit patient boy. Rome wasn't built in a day ya know."

"So what do you have for me?"

"Get yourself a pen and paper; you'll need to write this all down."

Fifteen minutes later I have the biggest smile on my face since Friday.

"Now we still got a lot to figure out Jake," Bud says. "But at least that's a start. You get some rest tonight; the next couple of days will likely be wild.

"Thanks Bud, you sleep well too. And thanks for everything."

I sit back in my chair again and took a sip of my now warm beer. I resume gazing at the Dallas skyline. Given the past two weeks, I feel like I've been in hotels half my life. I would love to go home. "But where is my home now?" I certainly doubt I would be welcomed at my house even if the injunction wasn't in place. "What is Susie doing right now?" I wonder. "How could she have rushed so quickly into this? She's always been analytical if anything! OK maybe impulsive but she's usually so good at thinking on her feet. We've had our differences like any married couple, but she's always given me a chance to explain my side. I think I can say the same thing about me. Why the sudden rush? Why the sudden anger? How could she have been so vicious in seeking what she thought was vengeance? And with Schmidt that fuckwad? She knew that was the one person ...fuck her! How could she have done that with him?" I take another sip of beer, the taste now bitter when mixed with the anger welling up inside me.

I drain the rest of my beer and head back to the mini-fridge to grab another. Collapsing back into my chair with a mixture of frustration and anger, I think about the information that Bud has just shared. I play with my cell phone before flipping it open and finally giving up and calling Vicky Gambino. Before I can say a word she asks me if I had reconsidered my intent to contest the divorce. I tell her I have been thinking about it all day and that I have some important information to share, and that I would like to meet with her and Susie to discuss this as early as possible. She asks if I had found representation yet. I said I was working on that. She tells me she would get back with me as to when they could meet.

A half hour later she calls me back and asks if I can meet at 8:00 AM. She says that Susie can clear her schedule and can meet then. I bite my tongue, wanting to say I know Susie doesn't start her day until 9 AM, so there was little schedule to clear. Instead I tell her that 8 AM was fine. Vicky then confirms the meeting will be at her office and hangs up.

As soon as my call with Vicky ends, I try unsuccessfully to reach Bill Benner. I leave him a voicemail letting him know about the 8AM meeting. I tell him there is a coffee shop on the first floor of Gambino's building, and that if he could make it I would have a cup of coffee ready for him at 7:45 to go over any last minute details. If he couldn't make it not to worry, I would brief him on the outcome. I grimace as I hang up, knowing I probably just pissed him off by going ahead and making the appointment without his input.

I nurse my second beer before making one last call to Bud around 9:30. I wish to make sure he was aware of my meeting with Susie and Vicky, and that I plan on sharing the information he gave me earlier this evening. I tell him I hoped that Benner would be able to make it but feared he wouldn't. Bud asks me if I had my copy of the pictures on me. When I confirm that I still did, he encourages me to use them along with the other information he had given me earlier. We say goodnight and we would see each other tomorrow after I met with Susie and Vicky.

Chapter Five – Denial is a River in Africa

Tuesday - 7:45 AM

I admit to myself that I'm shocked but pleased to see Bill strolling across the small lobby in front of the coffee shop. And I enjoy the look on his face when I pull out a large coffee and a muffin from the sack sitting on the table. Having rectified the most pressing problem of the promised coffee, I begin to update him on my conversations the previous evening, especially the one I had with Bud.

I'm in slightly better spirits this morning. After several bad days in a roll, things started to look a bit better last night. It would have been a great day if we would have found Heidi but how far could she have gone? It's only a matter of time before we find her and that should go a long way to clearing up this mess.

Despite what had happened on Friday I still harbor some hope of working my marriage out with Susie. I know it won't be easy and that we will need a lot of counseling. Susie has always been very jealous, almost insanely so. I learned long ago not to spend too much time with any one woman at a party. And it would be a couple of cold days around the house if I danced more than once with someone else. From seeing the pictures and knowing how jealous she gets, I can intellectually understand why she has lashed out as she has. But emotionally I am having a very difficult time with all of this. I'm not sure which is worse, the ugly scene Friday evening or the obvious disbelief in me.

But before any reconciliation may happen, I have to get her to see things clearly. But by the time that happens, I may not care any longer to make the effort.

Once I have Bill up to date, he proceeds to chew me out for scheduling this meeting without his input. He makes it a point that if I do it again, he'll ask me to find other representation. I nod in acquiescence, knowing this was coming and deserved.

Once the mea culpa is out of the way; we spend the next five minutes finishing up the battle strategy for the 8 o'clock meeting. We go over the pictures I have along with how best to present the information we got from Bud. With a plan somewhat in place, we both screech our chairs back and walk toward the elevators.

Tuesday – 8:00 AM

As we enter Gambino's office, I'm surprised to see Vicky in the reception area waiting for us. I let the two attorneys' introduce themselves to each other before she motions for us to follow her and we proceed down the hallway to the very same room I found myself in yesterday.

Suzie is on her cell phone with her back to the door when we enter. Vicky slides around to the other side of the table in a similar posture as I saw the day before. Bill and I take our seats on the side of the table closest to the door as Susie finishes leaving a message to some poor underling.

Susie turns and sees my attorney, automatically stretching her hand to shake and greet him. She stops with her hand extended halfway to Bill and slowly recoils. She glances at me and then smiles and sits down.

"How perfect!" She sneers. "Two cheating peas in a pod!"

Bill and I don't even look at each other. We had discussed what Susie's reaction would be when she saw Bill was representing me. We weren't far off in our prediction.

"Mr. Benner," Vicky starts addressing my lawyer. "Mr. Vickers indicated to me yesterday in a phone call that he has reconsidered our proposal for allocation of the assets?"

I look at Bill. He smiles and turns toward both women. "Actually Ms. Gambino, from what my client has told me, you have jumped to the conclusion he has reconsidered. My client only said he had information to share."

Both of them are taken back. Were they really expecting me to capitulate? Angrily Susie pushes back away from the desk. "What are you trying to pull Jake?" She accuses.

"Mr. Vickers is not trying to pull anything, Mrs. Vickers," Bill says stressing her married last name. "He informed Ms. Gambino he has important information to share. And we are prepared to show it now."

"Jake, if you would like to share what we discovered yesterday?" Bill looks at me.

I glance at the two women. Vicky is genuinely interested but it is difficult to read anything behind the scowl on Susie's face.

"First, we still have the negatives but promise to be done with them today. I'll make sure I have them returned to you Vicky no later than end of tomorrow." Susie just grunts while Vicky acknowledges me with a nod.

"We have been having the negatives examined, along with enlargements from those negatives. There are a few things that we admit are disturbing in the pictures," I say.

Taking a folder out of my satchel I open it and take three photographs and lay them on the table facing Susie and Vicky.

"These three photographs represent the first, fourth and eighth pictures in the series of eight. I admit it certainly appears the man in the pictures is me. We also know that was my hotel room in Houston. The closet door that has been coincidently left open shows a set of luggage on the floor resembling mine and the clothing also resembles mine."

I look up and see an expression of smugness yet scorn mixed in her face. Yet there is something else. "Is it sorrow? Does she really want me to prove it's not men in the pictures?"

"However there are quite a few things about the pictures that cast serious doubts about their authenticity?"

"This is complete bullshit," Susie says firmly standing up. "I had those pictures examined by my best investigator and he assured me those pictures were genuine and not touched up."

"We didn't say the pictures were touched up," Bill volunteers.

"Then what are you saying? That's sure the fuck what it sounded like!" Susie says forcefully.

It is Vicky's turn to put a hand on Susie's forearm guiding her to sit down.

"First, we are still examining the photographs, so this is all preliminary," I say