Discovering Sin Ch. 02

That seemed strange; finally I was becoming more relaxed and was starting to get more curious about the relationship between my husband and this illicit lover. “Why on earth would you do that, today of all days?” I asked.

I didn’t think a black man could blush, but he was obviously embarrassed because he knew he had said too much even if by accident, but then thought maybe the truth was the best thing he could offer. “He’s the one who gave me the $100.00 bill to give to you.”

I was shocked, I didn’t know whether to be mad, embarrassed, impressed or just stay confused. I certainly didn’t know what to make of it, but I was too much filled with conflicting emotions and thoughts already to start to process the meaning of this as well. We all just sat quietly as Sandy drove and we each pondered our own thoughts associated with the days events.

I gave Sandy directions as the streets grew smaller and less crowded and we got closer to my house. As those words passed through my mind I wondered if I was still going to be able to call it mine and didn’t dare believe I would. By the time we pulled into the drive, it was about 8:00 pm and dark enough to make the dark house seem that much darker and more ominous. My heart sunk at the vacant appearance.

I hadn’t considered the possibility of an empty house and realized I had no idea where my purse was with my key. It looks deserted and locked up.” Sandy said. “How am I going to get in?” I said out loud in panic.

“Is your key in your purse?” Sandy asked.

“Yea,” I said, “but I don’t’ have my purse.”

She turned to Leon, and said it’s there on the floor, along with her other clothes.” Apparently she had collected them from Elaine before everyone left the office.

Leon handed them all to me and I looked at my conservative clothing, barely worn since that morning. Without saying anything I undressed completely and redressed again exactly as I was in the bedroom with Craig admiring me before I left for work. In spite of the fact that the woman who had been with both of these people in a completely sexual context was all of a sudden completely naked with them again, my nudity didn’t seem to be a cause for arousal as I transitioned back to conservatism.

We all got out and approached the dark house together and I unlocked the door. We went inside and I turned on some lights to confirm the emptiness inside. Everyone was gone and the ominous feeling of solitude in my family’s absence was overwhelming and frightening. None of us could talk as I moved about the house from room to room as though I were taking mental phonographs so I could preserve memories when this all evaporated. I had cried so much, inside and out that it seemed I was finally empty of tears, but the ache in my heart was crushing.

Sandy and Leon asked me questions about this or that when I stopped to pay special attention to some detail that demanded my undivided attention. In doing this I think their appreciation for the trouble I felt deepened, as well as their resolve to do anything they could to help set it right. Both had taken part in the events of my obsessive descent and I think their conscience was giving them problems to. They really were good inside as I had always suspected.

At about 10:00 pm we were startled by noisy banging and loud voices at the front door. Sandy took initiative opening the door after attaching the security chain. With the door partially open she could see the intense faces of Nate and his two cohorts. They had all taken a few drinks to feed their bravado and were her to demand my ‘sexual’ services; I trembled at the realization of what a terrible danger I had exposed myself as well as my family to with my foolish lack of self control.

I trembled in fear as I sized up the opposing strength and wondered if three against three was a terrible mismatch since my side had two women on it, and their side was pumped up with alcoholic courage.

Leon answered all my questions as he joined Sandy at the door and quickly forced it shut on the intruders. Then he surprised me by un-securing the safety chain and pulling the door open wide. Before the three inebriates could think of coming in, Leon advanced on Nate and placed one of his mighty hands firmly around his neck just below his jaw. He lifted Nate so his feet barely skipped along the ground as he propelled him backwards into the front yard and pinned him firmly against the large oak at the edge of the lawn.

Breathless already, Nate couldn’t draw air with the choking force of Leon’s grip. I was worried that Nate would die of suffocation, not because I felt concern for him but because I felt concern for Leon. The two friends went on the offensive and Leon quickly dispatched one with a crushing blow from his free elbow that left the drunk out cold and on his back. Then he calmly switched hands to continue the choking grasp on Nate and grasped the other around the neck with his free hand.

His grip was secure and the power in his arm was so great that he crashed the helpless assailant into the tree with such terrible force that the bloody face fell to the ground unconscious. With Nate’s friends now un conscious or no longer a threat, Leon directed full attention on the man almost ready to slip into unconsciousness. He relaxed the pressure against Nate’s windpipe so he was able to gulp in a breath for survival. Nate choked on the fresh air as it burnt and filled his dry lungs and became acutely aware of the crippling grip that still held him fast.

With intense eyes that bore deeply into Nate’s fear center Leon slowly but evenly said. “I don’t think this lady ever wants to see you again, you fucked up little piece of shit. I know who you are and I can damned well find where you live, and if you ever even think about showing your face here again or even do the smallest thing to hurt her or her family, I’ll beat you to death! Got that, shit head?”

Nate was too defeated to say anything, and Leon repeated the question. “I said, have you got it shit head?”

Nate struggled to nod and choked out a yes so Leon released his grasp. “Get the rest of this shit off Cynthia’s lawn.” Leon ordered and then he returned to the house. We could see and hear Nate as he wrestled the semi conscious limp bodies into the car and drove off recklessly.

It was 10:30, and still no sign of anyone. I was certain and afraid that none of my family was going to return that night, maybe never again, and choked back a fresh batch of tears as I realized it was too late to cry over my stupidity again; I simply lowered my head to my hands, I was too drained to do anything more. Sandy lived alone, and said I could come to her place or she would spend the night with me in my home if I preferred. I asked her to stay. Without asking, Leon called his wife, somehow it surprised me that he was married, and told her he had a friend in a bad way and was going to stay to help out. She didn’t question his motives at all and somehow I thought I would really like to meet this woman.

Sandy chose to stay in the guest bedroom and I wondered briefly if Leon would expect more intimate sleeping arrangement in the master bedroom, but quickly dismissed that notion and chastised myself for even thinking it when he insisted on the spacious and comfortable sofa in the great room. I was too tired and exhausted from the spent adrenalin of the day to do anything but slip off my jacket, kick off the shoes and un-hook the restraining pressure of my bra for comfort before I fell onto the bed and cried myself to sleep.

At some time during the night I must have slipped off my slacks blouse so I could enjoy the warm comfort under the down comforter, because I woke up after sunrise wearing nothing but my panties and felt almost conspicuously naked until I found my robe in the closet and wrapped it warmly around me. As I walked from the bedroom I wondered if my guardian guests had left, or if any of my family had come back. The guest bedroom was empty and the bed was nicely made, the teasing odor of fresh cooked bacon drifted up the stairs to awaken my senses.

When I got to the kitchen, Leon and Sandy were talking like old friends and they took note of my entry as I moved into the room. “Hey sleepy head,” Leon Said, he was apparently the bacon chef for the morning. “You finally decided to wake up did you?”

“We were about to open a betting pool on what time you were going to get up; you looked so tired last night, I was betting on no earlier than noon.” Sandy added.

“Yea, you were totally tapped. You looked uncomfortable when I checked on you at about 2:00 am, so I helped you out of your pants and shirt.” Leon said, and then added. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, thank you for the help; I’m sure I felt warmer and more comfortable that way.” The thought that Leon had undressed in my own bedroom made me blush and somehow seemed more erotic that having him see me nude at the club. I knew my nipples were rock hard and hoped the softness of my robe disguised it.

“Breakfast is ready.” Sandy announced. She had already found the dishes and silverware and set the table nicely, like only a woman would. We sat down and chatted warmly as we ate the delicious bacon and scrambled eggs. Sandy had used her special selection of spices to give them delightful flavor, but Leon still insisted on loading his portion down with shredded cheese and Tabasco sauce.

Thinking about Leon undressing me in the bedroom and the wild sex we had in the club turned me on and sent wild fantasies swimming through my one track mind, but Leon seemed perfectly content to keep a respectful hands-off distance. As I studied his resolve to keep this non-sexual, I wondered if I had succumbed to an addiction that would make it impossible for me to ever have hope for normal thinking again and rational behavior let alone reconciliation with Craig. If we ever did patch things up would I ever be able to maintain fidelity in a relationship again. Was I hopelessly hooked on adultery, promiscuity and self abuse; would I be a slut forever?” Remorse washed away the lust and I softly slipped back into depression.

Leon and Sandy were both doing their best to be helpful and asked me important although probing questions to help me explain to them and to myself what had led to the reckless disregard for the sanctity of my marriage and my obsession for exhibition and risky sex with anyone but Craig. It was hard to maintain meaningful continuity and then it dawned on me that I should print off this story I had been writing and let them read much of it so they could tell me if helped them understand.

I had to open a new ream of printer paper because there were so many pages. It seemed the laser printer droned on forever spitting out pages. I assembled them into the relevant parts and handed the transcript pages to them. Sandy was a faster reader so she took the page first and then handed it to Leon after reading it. It only took a few minuets before she was done with her page before Leon had finished the previous one, then Leon started to skim more to keep up. He read the graphic sexual accounts slowly and rubbed his big cock through his pants as he became aroused with my narrative. And I became aroused as I watched him and decided I had better take the time to bring the record up to date with the events of yesterday. As I wrote, they read.

The sky was starting to darken by the time I had arrived at the present in my text, and no one had shown up or called during the entire day with the exception of a few teenager friends. I tried to call Craig earlier but once I started writing, I was lost to time or distraction. When I finished, I called him again and thought I had succeeded before the line clicked and then went dead.

I was so sick with worry over the passage of time without any word, that when I tried to eat again, I threw up shortly afterwards. My friends did all they could to comfort me but I was slipping further and further into depression. The lust I had felt earlier was completely foreign to me now and I gripped my empty stomach as I felt the pain of my loneliness. The only thing I could appreciate was how distasteful the debauchery I had worried about being addicted to now was. Now it was only repulsive and I no longer had difficulty imagining a life without its grip on me.

Jenny Allen called that night. She had seen Leon leave the club abruptly after talking with Sandy and was able to piece part of the puzzle together when the valet parking attendants described me. I told her that the shit had hit the fan at the moment and I didn’t know if we would make it through this or the fan would chew me up and spit me back out. She asked if she could help and said Chris told her that Craig had disappeared from work and people were wondering where he was. That only added to the sick worry and fear that already possessed me.

Sandy stayed with me again that night, but Leon borrowed her car and left saying he would return. About two and a half hours later there was a knock on the front door. Sandy opened it again with the security chain in place then closed it so she could open it wide and let whoever was outside in. Leon was back, except this time he wasn’t alone. A beautiful woman somewhat thin and a little taller than me was with him. She looked almost Eurasian in appearance and clung possessively to his arm. She looked a little familiar and finally I recognized her as one of the dancers at the Strip.

No doubt she was one of the best that danced there, I’m guessed she ranked right along side Jenny, but there was still the professionally, almost over-perfect look that made all the dancers seem almost unreal and artificial. As they came inside Leon introduced her using her real name, Donna Miller, Leon’s wife. I had hoped to meet her, and now that she was here and the bond between them was so obvious and real I almost felt jealous. I’m sure she had witnessed the unrestrained lust and sexuality that had to be apparent during the coupling between me and her husband on stage.

She had indeed, that’s why she wasn’t about to let him stay another night here in the house without being by his side in bed. I blushed and smiled at the inferred compliment towards me, her potential competition for Leon’s honest lust.

Sleeping arrangements were adjusted so Leon and Donna could be together and alone in the guest bedroom. Sandy didn’t mind at all sleeping in Wendy’s bed, and I was once again alone in the empty reminder room to think about Craig.

The others slept soundly after the noise of the Miller’s love finally died out. God that man had stamina. I thrashed about the large empty bed as I wrestled with the possibility of sleeping alone like this from now on. I missed my family so much, I couldn’t bear it, but loosing the closeness of Craig was so terribly painful, I knew if he refused to take me back, my life would truly end.

When the morning came the breakfast ritual was played out again. Donna looked all over the place for coffee and the coffeemaker and I laughed a little at her consternation when I told her we didn’t want to feel wired from too much caffeine, and the Coke and Mountain Due we drank supplied us with too much already. She seemed almost desperate and made us wait while Leon drove down to Starbucks for a large morning brew.

By late morning the guests all had cabin fever and were starting to wonder what more they could possibly do to help. I was just starting to form words to release them from their guard duty when we all froze with the ominous ringing of the phone. It had only rung rarely during the previous days and we all seemed to know together, that Craig was calling.

I picked up the phone and as soon as I heard his voice, my knees buckled and I slumped to the floor. My deep bitter crying was all anyone could hear, as I poured out my heart and begged his forgiveness. “Settle down Cynthia.” I heard Craig say. “You know I always forgive Cyn, (I hated that nickname now but new that it fit perfectly) that’s the easy part. Dealing with things that can’t be un-done is what’s going to be hard, but that’s not why I called. I guessed you might be home and that you may need a little warning. We’ll be there in about two hours, I’ll see you then.

“I love you Craig.” I said as I held the receiver tightly in my grip and waited for a confirming reply. He was silent for a moment and then the line went dead. My body shook with spasms from my crying as I clutched the silent phone. The others helped me up and supported me with loving strength as I continued to cry. Craig would soon be home, so would the kids, and I still had no confidence in the hope that I would be allowed to stay and take part in their lives.

To be concluded, one final chapter left