Girls Just Want to Have Cum (1987)

Corey gave Max a dirty look and focused back in on the monitor.

"That's what I thought," Max boasted.

The girls were sitting in a circle, hovering their hands in unison over a Ouija board that was illuminated by the soft glow of candlelight.

"E" the girls called out as they landed on the first letter.

"D."

"B?" they said with disappointment at a highly inconvenient third letter.

"Ed. The ghost's name is Ed," Tina rationalized. "We just went on for one too many letters."

"Or the B really stands for a number?" Stacey suggested. She furrowed her brow and continued with her theory. "A stands for number one, so B would be number two. Ed two. Ed two...o-nine? Ed two-o-nine! That big scary robot from Robocop!" Stacey exclaimed proudly, as her housemates looked back at her in confusion.

"But we didn't land on zero or nine," Phoebe said.

"Why does a fictional movie robot have a ghost?" Tina added.

"And why is it living here?" Rhonda asked.

"Okay, you know what..." Stacey began, with her lips trembling. "I don't like this stupid game anymore!" She stormed out of the room and Rhonda quickly rushed behind to console her.

"Well, I think we can safely conclude that the house isn't haunted," Tina said, tossing the plastic planchette back into the Ouija box. She slammed the rest of her orange juice and schnapps and then flicked the lights back on to see that Phoebe was looking out the window with squinted eyes.

"What is it, Phoebe?"

"We are being watched. Someone put a surveillance camera in the window."

"No way!" Tina gasped, covering up her chest. She rushed over to the pile of lingerie and grabbed a robe to cover herself. Tina turned towards the window to go inspect the camera and Phoebe stopped her with a hand on the shoulder.

"Wait. I have an idea. Just act normal. Trust me," Phoebe said.

Phoebe ran out the front door and tiptoed through the lawn. She peeked around the side of the house to see that the camera and the coax cable were clearly visible from outside the living room window. Phoebe ran back inside and into her bedroom, digging through her moving boxes. She emerged back into the living room with a small object in her hand.

Stacey managed to collect herself from her earlier outburst and rejoined the rest of the ladies along with Rhonda. They walked into the living room holding freshly mixed drinks, curious to see what all of the commotion was about.

"We can kill the video with this signal jammer," Phoebe explained, holding up the rectangle-shaped controller, equipped with an antenna, knob, and switch.

"What signal?" Rhonda asked.

"Someone planted a camera to spy on us," Tina explained. Before Rhonda could freak out she rushed over to her with a robe to help her cover up. "Keep calm, don't let them know that we are on to them."

"Where did you get that signal jammer?" Tina asked, redirecting to Phoebe.

"I made it," Phoebe explained proudly. "It will kill any antenna or coax signal within a hundred feet. It's just a simple circuit with a transistor, an air capacitor, and a nine volt battery."

"And why would you have a signal jammer?" Rhonda asked.

"My roommate at Pi Delta Pi was always listening to the radio when I was trying to study, so I would just kill the signal," Phoebe said with a laugh, letting a nerdy snort escape from her nose.

"You sneaky bitch," Tina replied with admiration. "I love it!"

"What's your major again?" Rhonda asked.

"Electrical engineering," Phoebe replied, blushing.

"Well, look at this. We've got a house genius," Rhonda announced. "Whoever is spying on us is about to meet their match."

"What did I miss?" Johnny blurted. He had rushed to the bathroom to take a wiz and came back to see the other guys glued to the TV screen.

"My mom just pulled into the driveway," Max explained Johnny. "We have to be quiet now or this whole operation is caput."

"I didn't ask about your mommy. I meant what did I miss with the girls?"

"It looks like they're playing strip poker now," Corey said.

Johnny took his seat next to Corey, and looked on in suspense as the lingerie-clad women each took a turn to reveal their hand. The well-endowed blonde in the leopard-print teddy put her head down in defeat while the other women laughed and pointed at her.

"Oh shit, the one with the big hooters is finally gonna take it off!" Johnny announced.

"Shhhhh," Max begged Johnny, with a nervous look over his shoulder at the bedroom door. He could hear his mom's footsteps in the kitchen.

Back on the TV monitor, they watched Stacey turn her body towards the camera. Her fingers slowly found their way under the straps of her teddy and she began to lower them. She pulled the fabric away from her breasts, carefully revealing one centimeter of skin per second while the onlooking young men felt their cocks swelling in anticipation.

The image on the monitor suddenly blurred into a wild scramble. The guys all groaned out in unison as they looked back at a mocking sea of black, white, and grey lines.

"What the fuck!" Johnny yelled.

"Shhh!" Max said with a finger to his mouth. "The signal just went out."

"Fix it, fix it!" Johnny begged, completely breaking from his tough-guy demeanor.

"We're trying, we're trying," Max said as he and Corey scrambled to check the connection.

"Maxwell, is everything alright?" his mom suddenly called out from the hallway. They froze in place, looking at the bedroom door in suspense. The crack of light under the door suddenly blacked out into distinct, foot-sized shadows.

"Yes, Mom! We're just playing some Metroid. It's a tough level," Max said, with a crack in his voice.

"Okay, don't stay up too late. Good night."

The crack of light under the door returned to a full glow and the guys breathed a collective sigh of relief. They turned back to the hopeless situation with the scrambled monitor.

"Corey, you've got to go back out there and fix the camera," Johnny insisted.

"C'mon, really?!" Corey protested. "No one touched it. We would have seen them do it. There is something blocking the signal from inside the house."

"So figure out how to get inside. I need to stay here in case my mom comes back up," Max said.

"Why don't you just pretend you're the building inspector or something?" Johnny suggested.

"An eighteen-year-old building inspector? Showing up at nine o'clock at night?"

"I don't know, just figure out how to get in there and fix the thing before I fix you."

Corey racked his brain to come up with an idea while Max and Johnny looked on helplessly.

"Okay, I think I know how I can get in," Corey announced.

"What? What?" the guys begged to know.

"Well this is going to sound crazy, but have you ever seen a TV show called Bosom Buddies?"

"Hi, Son," Corey's dad said to him as he walked through the kitchen on his way to the basement. "Why don't you join us? We're playing Boggle!"

Corey could see that his parents were indeed playing Boggle at the kitchen table with the Hendersons from next door.

"Corey, I heard you're going to C.S.U.S.M. in the fall?" Mr. Henderson asked. His boozy breath hit Corey like a gas cloud of long island iced tea. No one in the room seemed to notice or care that Corey was dressed head toe in camouflage.

"The timer, honey," Mrs. Henderson reminded her husband, eager to pull off a Boggle win.

"To hell with the timer, I'm talking to Corey," Mr. Henderson blurted, knocking the plastic hourglass onto its side.

"Yes, sir, I'm going to CUM... ah, Cal State San Marcos," Corey confirmed, his eyes darting toward the basement where boxes full of old clothes awaited.

"Make sure you pledge Sigma Chi and tell them Wally Henderson sent you," Mr. Henderson insisted.

"Um, sure thing. Is Heather here?" Corey redirected to his parents.

"She's in the basement with Kimmy, doing one of their workout videos or something," his mother replied. "If you're going back to Max's take some of these cookies," she requested, pointed at a plastic bag full of oatmeal raisin cookies.

Just as Corey was about to refuse, he thought about his plan to infiltrate the lingerie party and reconsidered. "Okay, Mom. Good idea."

Down in the basement, Corey's older sister Heather and her friend Kimmy were pumping away to Jane Fonda's Advanced Workout as Corey attempted to sneak past them and into the laundry room. He stood at the bottom of the basement stairs and waited for the perfect opportunity.

Heather and Kimmy bent over to grab their leg warmers at the ankles and proceeded to stretch to the rhythm. Left and right, left and right, they moved their hips in unison, showing off the back of their thong leotards and shiny tights. Corey darted behind them and into laundry room undetected.

The boxes of old clothes and costumes presented so many options it was overwhelming. The longer the better, he decided, on account of his hairy legs. He grabbed a full-length church dress that Heather hadn't worn since she was a teenager. To his relief, he also found a stash of stage props from Heather's high school plays with wigs galore.

Corey darted up the stairs and into the bathroom with the dress and a blonde wig in hand. He pulled off his clothes and messy briefs and hopped into shower to wash off his face paint. Only a minute in, he heard the door open.

"I've got an extra headband around here somewhere," Heather said, bursting into the bathroom with her friend.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?!" Corey yelled.

Corey poked his head out from the shower curtain to see his sister digging through the bathroom drawers while Kimmy looked back at him with a giggle.

"Don't have a cow, Corey, we'll be out of here in a second," Heather scolded. "I'm back home for the summer so you better get used to it."

Corey watched in suspense, hoping they wouldn't spot the dress and wig that were sitting out in plain sight.

"Are you going to watch the Crystal Light Aerobics Championship with us tonight, Corey?" Kimmy teased.

"I'm busy with other things. Like showering," Corey replied, pulling the curtain shut.

Corey's cock was starting to swell from the view of Kimmy in her spandex leotard. He tried desperately to tame it by thinking grody thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm sure you're plenty busy in there, whacking your pud," Heather joked, causing Kimmy to let out a laugh.

"Get out of here, Heather, or I'm telling Mom," Corey threatened.

"Found 'em," Heather announced. She and Kimmy made their exit with headbands in hand and slammed the door behind them.

Corey hopped out of the shower and locked the door. He put on the dress, tucked his shaggy hair under the blonde wig, and then helped himself to Heather's makeup collection. Satisfied with his disguise, Corey snuck through the living room, cookies in hand, and out the front door.

Corey jogged past Max's house and then found himself knocking nervously on the front door of the dilapidated house. "Well, here goes nothing," he said to himself with a gulp.

"Who could that be?" Rhonda wondered as she rushed over to the window to peek out at the unexpected visitor. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"Who does he think he's fooling?" Tina asked with a laugh. She leaned over Rhonda's shoulder for a better look at his outdated dress and obvious wig.

"Want me to tell him to get lost?" Stacey offered.

"Or—," Tina began and she stepped back from the window with a naughty smile on her face.

"Or what?" Phoebe asked.

"Or, we could invite him in and tease him mercilessly!"

"Oh, I like that!" Stacey agreed.

"Whoa, whoa," Rhonda reasoned. "Are you sure about this?"

"Come on, he's probably the guy that planted the camera. Let's get some revenge!" Tina begged.

Corey knocked on the door a second time and Rhonda surveyed everyone before making the final decision. She held up a hand, "all in favor?"

"I," Stacey and Tina replied with their hands in the air.

"Phoebe?"

"Oh, alright," Phoebe responded. She pulled the banana clip from her hair to shake it loose and took off her glasses.

"It's settled," Rhonda announced. "Get into seduction mode girls, I'm going to let him in."

"Follow my lead," Tina directed. "We are going to tease, tease, tease until he cums in his pants. Wait, I mean his dress."

"They're letting him in!" Johnny blurted. He was watching through the telescope in Max's bedroom as the girls invited Corey into the house.

"Quiet!" Max begged him.

"What is going on in here?" Max's mother asked as she burst into the room.

Max and Johnny darted in different directions. Max picked up a beaker and pretended to examining it and Johnny grabbed the nearest magazine and lay back on the bed with it.

"Nice try," Sylvia said with hands placed sternly at her hips. "Max, what is all of the yelling about? And who is this boy that I have never seen before? I thought you were up here with Corey."

"Mom, meet my friend, Johnny. He's in summer school and needed help with a science project."

"That must be some science project," Sylvia said, pointing towards the Playboy in Johnny's hand. Johnny looked down in surprise as the centerfold page fell open and then tossed the magazine against the wall with a yelp.

"Hey, where did that come from?" Johnny asked Max. "Honestly, Mrs. Carrington, I didn't know it was a nudie mag."

At this point Johnny couldn't help but check out her curvaceous figure as she stood over him in her suit, with the jacket slightly open to reveal the lace top underneath.

"Okay, buster, you are coming with me," Sylvia announced, grabbing Johnny by his vest and pulling him up from the bed.

"But, mom!" Max blurted.

"You are grounded for the rest of the weekend, do you understand?"

"You can't ground me. I'm an adult."

"As long as you live under this roof you can be grounded, understood?"

"Yes, Mom," Max grumbled.

"Don't you dare leave this room. I'm going to have a talk with your friend and show him the door."

Sylvia picked up the Playboy and then escorted Johnny out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"Listen, Mrs. Carrington," Johnny began as she walked him down the stairs by the arm. "I'll toss the magazine in the trash and get out of your hair, alright?"

"Oh no, you aren't getting off that easy," Sylvia replied as she pushed him down onto a living room chair. "I know exactly who you are, Jonathan Grieco. You've been picking on my son and his friend ever since you moved to the neighborhood."

"Perhaps I should go," suggested Sylvia's business partner, Linda. She had just reentered the living room, holding a full glass of wine.

"No, stay," Sylvia encouraged. "This punk isn't going to ruin our celebration."

Johnny looked around the room and saw that scented candles were burning and the hi-fi stereo was cranking out smooth, saxophone-soaked jazz.

"Celebration?" Johnny asked.

"That's right. We just closed our biggest distribution deal ever," Linda said, stepping forward to check out the young man that was being interrogated. Linda was showing off some generous cleavage under her pink blazer and her blonde hair was done up short and spiky.

"We thought we'd enjoy a few glasses of the finest white zinfandel before we headed out for a night on the town. And then I heard your voice coming from my son's bedroom," Sylvia explained.

"Max and Corey are my buds, Mrs. Carrington. I protect them."

"Drop the act. You're a bad kid Johnny and you know it. Did you even graduate this year? I don't remember seeing you at the ceremony."

"School is gay," he replied looking down in shame. She grabbed him by the chin and pushed his head upright.

"Look at me when I am talking to you. You need to watch your language. We don't use the word 'gay' as an insult in this house, understood?"

"Understood."

"Now, what are you doing with this magazine in my son's room?" she asked, opening it up to see a nude woman with big hair and breasts to match.

"Honestly, I didn't even know the Playboy was there, I just grabbed it."

"There's no need to lie, Jonathan. It is perfectly natural to admire the female form. That is technically how we make a living, right Linda?"

"It is," Linda confirmed with a drunken giggle. "I think he's learned his lesson, you don't need to embarrass him any further. Why not go easy?"

"Go easy? Did you go easy on my Max at school?" Sylvia asked Johnny.

"I'm from New York. You gotta show everyone you're tough or they're gonna walk all over you."

"I can see that you're tough," Sylvia replied. "Do you always walk around without a shirt?"

"Back home, I made damn sure everyone saw these muscles on the street."

"I want to have a look at that vest, let me see it," Sylvia demanded. Johnny attempted to stand up and turn around for her but she pushed him back onto the chair.

"No. I mean, take it off."

"Oooo, now this is getting interesting," Linda quipped, throwing back a big gulp of pink wine.

Johnny removed his vest and the women admired his chiseled body. They especially liked the "v" muscles below his abs that seemed to be pointing into his jeans.

Sylvia traced a finger over the logo on the back of the vest. "Is that a bird?"

"It's a Falcon. The Falcons control Brighton Beach territory. There's safety in numbers so you gotta roll with a gang. I wasn't going to go out like a punk."

"You are safe and sound with your aunt and uncle here in suburban California, Jonathan. You can drop the tough guy act starting tonight, do you understand?"

"Yes, Mrs. Carrington."

"And you're going to apologize to all of the boys that you picked on in school, starting with my son."

"I will, I promise. Can I go now?"

The alcohol-buzzed women couldn't take their eyes off of his pecs and his washboard abs. "You're not going anywhere," Sylvia declared. "Now we need to discuss what we are going to do about the magazine."

"There's nothing to discuss. I found it in Max's room, it must be his," Johnny explained.

"Don't be defensive," Sylvia shot back. "You brought porn into my house and now you are going to make it up to me. We run a successful lingerie enterprise and need to conduct market studies from time to time. We could use your opinions, as a young man."

Sylvia thumbed through the Playboy and turned a photo over to Johnny. The model was in blue thigh highs and a garter belt with her back turned to show off her ass.

"Would you prefer to masturbate to this," Sylvia began, "Or this?" She flipped to another photo of a woman pulling down on her teddy to reveal her tits.

"I don't jerk off."

"Don't insult me, Johnny. I said to knock it off with the tough guy stuff. Answer the question honestly. This, or this?"

"That one," Johnny answered, pointing to the butt and garters picture.

Linda turned to whisper in Sylvia's ear. "Should we show him the samples?"

Linda's eyes lit up and she nodded in agreement, tossing the magazine to the floor. "Now pay attention," she began. "Linda and I are going to show you two different pieces from our collection and you will tell us which one you like best."

Before Johnny could respond, the women already had their backs to him, looking over their shoulders and lifting their skirts. They pulled down their panties, dropping them onto their high heels to give Johnny an unobstructed view of their garter belts.

Johnny couldn't believe what he was seeing. Just like the girl in the magazine, Sylvia and Linda were baring their butts and lingerie to him. Their stockings were white with lace tops and patterned garter belts were attached at the sides, forming a decorative arch over their naked asses.

"Well?" Sylvia asked impatiently.

Johnny was hypnotized by the curves of their butt cheeks and his cock was visibly hard under his jeans. "I...I can't really tell the difference."