Good Day Iowa!

Tracey turned out to be a very vocal lover. She wasn't loud, but she had plenty to say as we fucked. She'd moan each time I'd push into her, and often follow it up with comments like, "So good...keep doing it just like that...oh god I love this...don't stop ohhhh..." I shouldn't have been surprised by her comments, given that fact that part of her charm was her over-the-top personality on TV and how I'd seen some of that carry over into our personal life. To me, it was adorable - another reason to really like her, as if I needed any more.

And truthfully, her comments and moans made me feel good for another reason. I admit to having self-doubts about my own ability as a lover, since there was such a large age difference between us, and I hadn't done this in quite a while, and not regularly since before Lucy got sick. Hearing her comments and the noises she made encouraged me to fuck her even harder, so I picked up the intensity, causing Tracey to pick up on her noises she was making.

The extra intensity created the feelings of my impending second orgasm. Tracey could tell I was getting close, and she encouraged me - "Yes, Brian, give it to me, deep inside!"

In a few seconds, I granted her wish, pushing as deep as I could and releasing. I moaned out, "God, Tracey" as I came, and she held me tighter to her as my cock pulsed several times within her very warm and wet pussy. When the pulses subsided, we laid there together, neither of us moving as we enjoyed the glow that surrounded us.

I was afraid I was too much on top of her, so as my cock began to shrink, I pulled out of her and rolled over on my side next to her. She rolled as well, facing me, and we kissed deeply and slowly. With the other few women I'd been with since Lucy died, there was never this intensity that I was feeling with Tracey. This was an entirely new experience, and one that I realized I had been missing without knowing it.

I moved my hand up between us and wrapped my fingers around her breast, gently rolling the nipple as we laid there together. Tracey smiled when I softly exclaimed, "Wow, Tracey - that was incredible!"

She smiled and playfully kissed me on the nose. "I'm glad you think so because I feel the same way!

As I looked into her eyes and enjoyed the smile and the feel of her naked skin next to mine, I mentally shook my head, still not believing that I had just had sex with the woman I'd been admiring on my television for the past couple of years. There were men all over this city that would jump at the chance to be with Tracey, and yet here she was with me. I couldn't help myself with the self-doubt that still plagued me, even after what we had just done together.

So, I blurted out, "Why?"

With a confused look on her face, she answered, "Why what, Brian?"

"Why are you here with me when you could be with anybody else? I guess I'm still having a hard time believing that I could be desirable to someone like you."

She brought her hand up to mine and intertwined our fingers together, while still pressing the back of my hand against her breast. "Brian, you're the relationship therapist, so why do I need to explain this to you? I'm here with you because I WANT to be with you - it's that plain and simple. You may not know this, but you've been on my mind for a long time since we first met. Every time we've been together since that first night in the bar, you've done nothing to show me that I should be staying away from you."

It was the words I needed to hear. In fact, I had a feeling I would counsel a client in the same language in which she just counseled me. I thought back to that first night, not realizing the effect I was having on her.

"That first night, I tried so hard not to act starstruck around you. I figured you might have gotten that from men like me all the time, but I could also see that you were hurting. So, I put on my therapist shoes and talked to you - not as a man who has always been attracted to you, but as a professional who knew you might need some help."

She kissed the tip of my nose again. "You did exactly that, and that's why that night will always be so special to me, because it was a turning point that I needed in my life. You told me exactly what I needed to hear in that short time we had together when you made me realize that I was investing time into relationships that weren't going anywhere, and that I was more upset about the time I wasted than I was losing the man.

"But the fact that you weren't hitting on me was noticed immediately, and when you started helping me...well, let's just say that it was a very different first conversation with a man than what usually happens, and it was very nice, to say the least. You cared for my well-being as a person, and not as a potential sex partner. You knew what I needed, and you provided it for me.

"Do you want to hear a confession?"

I laughed. "I'm not a priest, but I do hear things from people nearly every day that might count as confessions."

"This will be a good one, I promise. When I found out from the producer of the show that Steve Ransom was going to be interviewing you...well, I might have gone to him asking if I could have the interview with you, simply because I wanted to talk to you again. I've NEVER done that before, Brian. That should show you what I thought about you after that first visit."

I was stunned! I knew I wasn't good at dating and meeting women, because it was something I just didn't enjoy. But I remembered that night, and even though I was surprised to see her in that bar, the thought of dating her wasn't on my mind at all. Maybe I was trying too hard when I wasn't successful before.

Before I could respond, Tracey continued. "Brian, that interview with you was the highlight of my career, for many reasons. We really connected, and the viewers got to see the personal effect of ALS, which to be honest is what increases the donations you get. You opened your personal life and talked about the devasting effects of the disease. You were brave and strong for the cause, and while I'll take credit for the questions I asked, your answers completely sealed the deal for me and my television station and the people of Iowa who wanted to support the fight.

"But when you opened your life for ALS, you also opened it for me, and I got to see a lonely man who loved his wife dearly, to the point that he could have stopped working on behalf of ALS after she died but chose not to. You do this to honor her by trying to help find the cure for this. You do it because you still love her, and you always will.

"Brian, I don't know if that kind of love is rare, or if I've simply been looking in the wrong places. But I want that love in my life. I want to feel so strongly about someone that I'm willing to commit everything to be with that person. I know we are early in our relationship, but I believe you are the one that can make that happen for me, and no qualifier like age will ever stand in the way of me having that.

"I don't want to scare you off, but I really like being with you, and nothing you've done tonight has changed my mind. In fact...to be honest, tonight you've only made me surer that I want to spend a LOT of time with you."

It was a lot for me to take in. But I knew that 'playing the field' was not a game I enjoyed, which was why it had been so long since I'd been with a woman sexually. Everything Tracey said resonated with me, and I could see the reasons why our age difference might not mean that much to her. If it truly wasn't a problem for her, then I needed to get it out of my head that it was a problem for me.

I responded to her, not by voice, but by kissing her, long and deeply. I had been infatuated with her on my office TV for a long time, but tonight, the infatuation was gone. I wasn't kissing Tracey Willis, the host of 'Good Day Iowa.' Instead, I was kissing Tracey, my girlfriend, and she was rapidly becoming more.

We pulled the blankets up over us, and she turned to spoon against me. I put my arm over her and gently covered her breast with my hand. She sighed and said, "Good night, Brian."

I softly squeezed her breast and kissed the back of her head. "Good night, Tracey. Thanks for a perfect evening!"

It wasn't long before I could hear her soft, regular breathing and I knew she had gone to sleep. I thought back over the last few weeks, never thinking I'd end up here in bed with Tracey spooning her naked body against mine. My emotions felt like a balloon that floated higher and higher as more and more amazing and unexpected things happened to me. My only fear was that once the balloon got too high, I was afraid it was going to pop and send me crashing back to reality.

At once, I was disappointed in myself. I thought I had done a good job of giving myself permission to drop my insecurities about the age gap between us so I could enjoy my moments with her. I tried to do a little self-analyzing so I could see what therapist Brian would tell patient Brian, and I could hear myself explaining that I shouldn't be so afraid to have some fun with a woman I adored - especially when I had been alone for so long. Therapist Brian explained to patient Brian that as long as nobody was getting hurt and both persons involved were enjoying the relationship, there was no need to overthink it beyond that.

Even therapist Brian could see that being with Tracey was good for patient Brian. At that moment, I dedicated myself to listening to therapist Brian's sage advice. I started by squeezing Tracey's breast more firmly as I snuggled myself closer to her warm and sexy body. Tracey moaned in her sleep and pushed back against me, the last sensation I felt before I drifted off to sleep as well.

******

Just like that, I was in a relationship with the woman I had idolized on my television screen. I was awakened the following morning with light kisses being given to me by my amazingly beautiful girlfriend, who somehow looked perfect even with bed head and wrinkle lines on her face from her pillow. I was somewhat relieved that Tracey hadn't awakened and realized who she was with and what she had done and ran screaming from the room. But therapist Brian scolded patient Brian, and those feelings quickly went away.

Tracey had set her alarm early enough so that I would have time to go home for a quick shower and change of clothes before I went to work. As I opened the door, Tracey rushed over to give me a kiss, and then whispered, "Give us a chance, Brian. You'll see that we both need this."

I kissed her and turned back to the door, but then I stopped. Turning back to her, I asked "Plans for tonight?"

She smiled and shook her head.

"Then it's my turn to host. I'll text you the address as soon as I get to work. I'll cook. I don't keep wine in my house - learned that lesson not long after Lucy died, and I tried to drink my way to happiness. But I'll drink from the bottle you'd bring if you want, or I'll brew us some iced tea to go with our meal."

"I'd like that - I'm already excited about it! Do you mind if I bring a change of clothes for in the morning so we can maybe spend a little longer time together?"

I'm sure she knew the answer even before I started to speak, so I decided to have a little fun with her. "You mean like a sleepover? Do I have to wear PJ's?"

She laughed and replied, "No, because if you did, you'd feel silly being the only one wearing them!"

I kissed her again and then made myself go out through her door. My mind was spinning during my drive home as I relived the evening yesterday and the overwhelming happiness I felt at both the campaign material she had shown me after dinner and the fantastic love making we had done later. I realized that during both of those incredible events, I hadn't been thinking about our age difference once. We were two people involved in the same causes - fighting ALS and fighting loneliness, and it seemed that we were the answer to each other's problems.

At dinner at my house later that evening, we discussed the fact that she was a local celebrity and that people that knew her would see us out together and wonder what was going on. Tracey had the perfect answer to that situation - "I'll simply tell them that I'm out with my boyfriend doing what boyfriends and girlfriends do together. If they don't like that, it's not my problem."

We also decided that during the week, it would probably be best for the time being if we slept at our own places so we could maintain our work schedules without letting our relationship get in the way. Weekends were a different story - we would spend every minute together as much as possible, including nights together. Tracey did stay with me that night, however, since she had packed a change of clothes for the next day. Our lovemaking that night was just as good the second time as it was the first time.

Our work continued for the ALS chapter. We were at a chapter meeting in early November, and while we had done some fundraising work during the holidays in the past, it was difficult to have strong donations when people were trying to buy Christmas presents. An idea popped into my head that maybe the focus for December should be to look past Christmas and focus on the new year. A buzz went around the table, and Tracey - being the salesperson she was - declared that the campaign should be called "ALS - New Year, New Hope." The focus of the campaign was to encourage people to make year-end gifts to ALS that would give the chapter new energy going into a new year in our effort to help find a cure.

And then Tracey took it one step further. She convinced a local car dealership that had been family-owned for generations to offer to match every donation with a gift of their own, up to $50,000. In turn, they would be featured in all the station's PSA material during the giving campaign. Iowans responded like they usually did, raising $75,000, and the car dealership graciously raised their matching limit to that total.

It was the middle of November, and Tracey was at my house for the weekend. We had just finished our Saturday evening meal. One of the pleasures we discovered in being together was that we both loved to cook, so one of the weekend meals was prepared at whichever home we were in for that weekend. We had put the leftovers away and got the dishes started in the dishwasher - something I rarely used when I was by myself. We had moved into the living room, and Tracey was looking at the pictures of my family I had on one of the walls.

"Brian, tell me about your boys. You never talk about them very much."

She was looking at a picture of my sons standing together the last time they were both home at the same time. "The one on the left is Landon. He is a product design engineer for a company in Charlotte, North Carolina. After he received his degree, he had a lot of offers from headhunters who were all looking for the best and brightest young graduates. Landon is 27, and he has informed me that he has his first serious girlfriend, who is a Charlotte native. I would imagine that would lock him into the Charlotte area for the rest of his life if they stay together. I haven't met her yet. I'm hoping that maybe this Christmas he'll come home and bring her with him.

"My other son is Devon. He's 25, and lives in Huntsville, Alabama. Devon is a free spirit who was able to combine his love of space exploration with his love of history and landed a job at the US Space and Rocket Center. I'm not sure he'll ever settle down with any one person, but he loves what he's doing, and I doubt he'll ever leave. He's smart enough that he just might end up as the boss one day, but that would mean less hands-on work, and that's what he likes to do most.

"Both of them were ready to leave Iowa as quickly as they could. I'm happy for them because they both are doing what they want to do, where they want to do it. But I miss them. It's almost as if Lucy was the glue that kept our family together, and when she died, the family drifted apart."

Tracey turned and gave me a kiss. "So why don't you move closer to them - at least one of them? What's keeping you in Iowa?"

It was a question I had asked myself many times. "I think the main reason is my clients. I'm not conceited enough to think that they would fail if I left because I know a replacement would take over my caseload and they would be fine. But I've been working with some of them for a couple of years or more, and in an odd way, they have become the family I lost when Lucy died and my boys moved away.

"And then..." I stopped for a few seconds, as my emotions started to well up within me. "It would be so hard to move out of this house. The therapist in me would look at the situation and tell me that I'd turned this house into a shrine for Lucy, and while it was important to remember our life together, this might be taking it too far. But it's hard for me to let go. I look in every room of this house and picture her being in there, doing something that might seem routine and mundane, but I would give anything to have the opportunity to see her doing those things again.

"I look in the boys' bedrooms and see her changing diapers or rocking them to sleep. I look in the kitchen and see my family sitting around the table, chatting happily about their day. Even in the laundry room...I remember one Saturday when the boys were at their grandparents' house. Lucy was doing the laundry, and she stopped in front of the washer and stripped down completely, because she wanted to wash the clothes she was wearing. I got so aroused looking at her that I jumped up, took of my clothes and threw them in the washer, then grabbed Lucy's hand and led her to our bedroom, where we enjoyed a rare Saturday afternoon session of making love."

A tear started to run down my cheek as my mind went back to that very day, and the lazy afternoon we spent together making love. She was as sexy to me then as she was the first time I'd met her. I knew all I was doing was holding on to those memories as I convinced myself that I'd be in this house forever. I didn't know if it was healthy or not, but I didn't care.

Tracey looked to her right at a picture of Lucy and me. It had been taken right before she started feeling the weakness in her body that would eventually lead to her ALS diagnosis. She looked back at me and wiped the tear off my cheek. "She was beautiful, Brian. I've told you this before, but you two had the kind of love that I desperately crave."

She stepped forward to hug me. I suddenly felt guilty reminiscing about Lucy in front of Tracey. But that moment turned out to be a revelation to me - in the comfort of Tracey's hug, I realized that my feelings for her now were very similar to the feelings I had at the beginning of my relationship with Lucy. There were obviously differences. But when Tracey came more closely into my life, for the first time since Lucy's death I was living again! Tracey had been telling me all along about how our first meeting changed her life. I was beginning to see that it did the same for me.

At that moment, I knew that the age difference didn't matter to me anymore. Tracey was providing me with feelings I had not experienced in a very long time. Instead of being caught in the lonely existence of work and sleep after Lucy died, I was looking forward to each day, knowing that at the very least, Tracey and I would text each other, and it would be cute and lovey and most importantly, it would be heart-felt.

I desperately needed what Tracey was giving me, and I needed her to know exactly how I felt. I tightened our hug as I whispered in her ear, "Thank you, Tracey."

"For what?"

"For giving me life back. For giving me a reason to enjoy living, a reason to get up in the morning, the anticipation of your texts and calls. I still sometimes can't believe that I'm the one that gets to spend time with you, enjoying cooking with you and planning for ALS events with you and for sharing a bed with you.