His Best Friend's Mom

"Hi, there!" she said as he stepped inside. She thought he might have been staring the last time, but this time there was no doubt about it. It was actually kind of pleasant and definitely flattering to be looked at like that. Male customers of all ages flirted with her constantly at the diner even though she still wore her wedding ring. Most of them knew her and had given her a lot of space Thomas passed away, but it had been 'game on' for the last several months. That made this...thing...or whatever it was with Walker all the more confusing as it wasn't as though she didn't have ample opportunity to date men her age if she wanted to. She just hadn't felt ready, and now this was happening and Taryn was definitely intrigued—and confused.

Walker forced his eyes off of Taryn's chest but not before he saw her smiling.

"You um, you look amazing," he told her.

"Well, thank you. It's not exactly sexy, but a girl's gotta stay warm, right? I get cold very easily so I'd rather overdress than underdress."

He wasn't about to tell her she was sexy as hell. Rather, he just said, "Um...anyway, are you ready? Can I help you with anything?"

"I am ready and if you wouldn't mind carrying my skis, I can grab my bag and my purse."

Traffic was terrible until they got out to Highway 410 near the small town of Enumclaw. They headed east up into the Cascade Mountains and passed through the much smaller town of Greenwater on their way to the Crystal Mountain Ski Resort. Walker went several times each winter and was a reasonably good skier. Taryn hadn't been in many years but had also been pretty good back when she could afford to go and the free time to do so. They'd had a fresh, early snowfall, so the powder was going to be perfect.

"Wow! This has all changed," she said as they entered the resort. "Well, not everything, of course. But there's a lot of stuff that looks very different to me."

Walker realized she probably hadn't been up there since he was a very young kid or possibly since he was born. That thought would have bugged him all day under normal circumstances, but today he was determined to have a good time with Taryn and should the opportunity present itself to maybe tell her how he felt about her. Maybe.

Walker pulled his car in nose first then went around to open Taryn's door. She thanked him then helped him unload their skis before pulling on her suit and dark ski goggles.

"No comments about my stuff being older than you are, okay?" she said not realizing that was a sore subject with him.

Walker held his hands up in the surrender position and assured her that wouldn't happen.

"Don't laugh but I need to go pee before we get on the chairlift," she said as the walked past the lodge.

"No laughing here," Walker said with a smile still holding his hands up. "I'll wait for you in the lobby, okay?"

Taryn was gone for a little over five minutes and Walker laughed when he thought about her pulling everything off then pulling it all back on again. Being a guy definitely had its advantages.

"Okay, now I'm ready," she announced with a happy smile. "Oh. Walker? Thank you for suggesting this. I've been looking forward to our trip since you came up with the idea."

Against his better judgment he said, "Well, I had to get creative to find a way to get some time alone with you."

Taryn looked at him for a moment with a look he couldn't place then laughed politely.

"You are such a tease!" she told him. "But I really am grateful to be able to ski again, and I'm glad it's with you."

Now it was Walker looking at her 'that way'.

Taryn just smiled again and said, "Come on. Let's hit the slopes!"

Walker was more than a little surprised when Taryn held her own as they made their first run. She was whooping and hollering most of the way down. Her turns were steady and smooth and she clearly loved speed.

As they got to the bottom, Taryn screamed with happiness then said, "Now that's what I'm talkin' about!"

"You're good!" Walker told her as they turned around.

"I'm rusty and out of shape, but I am having SO much fun!" she said her face happy and bright.

"I'm glad," Walker told her. "You ready for another run?"

"Oh, yeah!" she hollered back.

"I'll race you to the bottom this time," Walker said just before they got ready to head back downhill.

"Okay, you're on!" she said unable to stop smiling.

At the start of the run Taryn said, "I don't intend to lose so what do I get for winning?"

"Ha! You'll have to actually win first!" Walker said as he pulled down his goggles and headed down.

"Hey! No fair," Taryn said just a half second behind.

Walker pulled out all the stops on this run and yet Taryn was right beside him after catching up half way down.

"You're goin' down, Walker!" she hollered as she pulled over close to him.

"No way!" he hollered back. "I'm not cuttin' the girl any slack!"

"Girl? I'll show you girl!" she said as she tucked down on a straightaway and took the lead by a few feet.

She held the lead until maybe 50 feet from the finish and Walker hollered out, "Watch out, woman!" as he pulled over close to her.

Taryn glanced sideways and when she did, Walker was so close it scared her. She shrieked, Walker flinched, and both of them went head over heels sliding and rolling to a stop almost on top of each other in a pile of bodies and snow.

Taryn was laughing so hard she could barely breath, and when Walker raised his head up to look at her, she lost it. She hadn't laughed like that in years and it felt so incredibly good! She rolled over on her back and started making snow angels as she continued to laugh.

Walker rolled over and again ended up almost on top of her. In fact, they were just inches apart when their eyes met. Even through the tinted glass there was some kind of instant connection, and as they stared into one another's eyes, Taryn stopped laughing. As she did, Walker lowered himself toward her face. Just before their lips met, Taryn said very quietly, "Walker, what are you doing?" but didn't pull away.

He kissed her softly for a second or so before she kissed him back. All in all, it lasted maybe three seconds, but it was most definitely a very real kiss.

When it ended, Taryn said, "What just happened?"

"I believe I just kissed you," Walker said his face still just inches from hers.

"I...I know what it was. I just don't know how it happened. Or...why," she said still speaking very quietly.

"Taryn? I...I've wanted to kiss you for...for a very long time. I know I'm young and I'm sure you don't think about me the way I think about you, but I...I like you very much."

Her eyes darted back and forth with his as she listened to him speak.

"Walker, I...I'm flattered. I'm really flattered. But you have to know this...well...us...you and me...that...that just could never work. You know that, right?"

"I only know how I feel about you, Taryn. I know this is one of those 'differences' that could make things harder, but I don't care about any of that. All I care about is being with you."

He pulled off a glove and touched her face then said, "You're so beautiful and amazing and..."

He lowered his head and kissed her again. Taryn's mind was screaming at her to turn her head away and end this while her body was screaming at her to do no such thing. Initially, her body won out as she kissed him back for several seconds to include the briefest little touching of tongues. Finally her mind won out and she gently pushed him away.

"Walker? We...we can't do this. I...I do like you. Just...not like that."

She heard herself saying the words, but she knew she didn't believe them. The truth was she did like him...like that...and were they alone somewhere she knew she couldn't say 'no' to anything he'd ask her to do. But they weren't alone. They were on a ski slope with people around and now there was this...this newfound...tension...between them.

Walker pulled back and apologized.

"I'm really sorry, Taryn. I should have known better."

He rolled over, sat up, then stood and offered her a hand. She accepted it and let him help her to her feet.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Walker asked knowing she'd say 'yes'.

"No. I...I'd like to stay and keep skiing. I mean, if we can, you know, just forgot this happened."

"Oh, sure. Yeah, I can definitely do that. I am really sorry. I just..."

"No, don't apologize, okay? I'm just as guilty as you are, Walker. I...I haven't been, you know, kissed by anyone since Thomas...and I guess I was just caught off guard. Please don't blame yourself, okay?"

What he wanted to say was that he still had feelings for her and none of this had changed that. Instead, he just told her they should go grab their skis and get back on the lift.

"That sounds great," Taryn said smiling at him but not like she'd done before.

Walker was sure he'd blown his one and only chance while Taryn was fighting a raging battle within herself; a battle that needed time to be analyzed. She had to sort out the many conflicted feelings she was experiencing. She was sure that when she did she'd realize she'd been right to put a stop to this. And yet as she watched him walk away, her body and heart yearned to be held by this very handsome young man.

She forced herself to shelve her feelings and go retrieve her own skis.

"No more racing, okay?" she said as they trudged over to the lift.

"Agreed," Walker said forcing a smile.

Very little was said the rest of the day even during a short break to get something to eat and a cup of coffee to warm up.

After their last run Taryn finally said, "I'm probably not going to be able to walk for the next two days."

"Why is that?" Walker asked.

"I totally abused muscles I haven't used in a very long time. I'll be fine until tomorrow morning when I'll be lucky to get out of bed. Every stop walking around at work is going to be a painful reminder."

"I'm sorry you're going to be so miserable," Walker said sincerely. "I hope you at least had a good time."

"Oh, I did. I really did, Walker. This was wonderful! Thank you again for inviting me."

"Happy birthday?" he said weakly.

"Oh, right." Taryn smiled then said, "You, too, by the way. I wanted to call on your birthday, but I didn't think you really wanted to talk to me so I didn't and..."

"Why would you think that?" Walker asked politely as they headed toward the parking lot.

"I don't know. I guess I thought perhaps you'd seen enough of me after dinner so I..."

"Taryn? I'd never get tired of seeing you," he said sincerely. "But you obviously don't feel the same way so..."

She touched his arm and stopped them both then turned to face him.

"Walker? You're my son's best friend and you've been my friend for some time now. I've depended on you for so many things so many times and I'm truly grateful. I really am. But...well, you and I can't, you know..."

"Be more than friends?" he said, his mouth suddenly very dry.

"I'm really sorry, Walker. I truly am."

She hesitated for a second then said, "I don't want you to think I don't find you very attractive because I do. And I want you know that the kiss...well, both of them were...nice."

"But that's all it was, right? Just...nice?" he said still being kind and polite.

Taryn looked away for a moment before she answered his question.

"No. It was more than just 'nice'. It was...really nice," she said very quietly.

She smiled at him then said, "Really, really nice."

"But?"

"But...I'm nearly twice your age and whatever it is you think you're feeling for me will pass. I meant it when I said I'm very flattered that you, you know, think of me...like that. It just wouldn't be fair to you to, you know, get involved with someone like me."

There was another pause before Taryn said, "Please tell me you understand and that you're not upset with me."

"Taryn? I don't want to get involved with someone like you," Walker said.

"That's probably best, don't you think?" she said knowing that a part of her was relieved he understood.

"I'm not interested in anyone...like you. I'm only interested in...you," he said looking down into her eyes directly.

"Walker, you...you just don't understand. I..."

"You don't find me attractive? You don't think I'm intelligent enough or...mature enough or..."

"No! None of those things," she said cutting him off.

She put her hand on his arm and mustered up a smile before she continued. "I find you very attractive. I know that sounds strange coming from Rick's mother, but you're a very handsome young man. You're also very smart and without doubt the most mature b...young man your age I've ever met."

"Then what is it? Are you worried about what Rick might think?" he asked probing for answers.

"I honestly hadn't thought about that, but yes, that would be a very legitimate concern. Wouldn't it bother you?" she said turning it around.

"Rick is my best friend and I know how much he loves you and wants you to be happy. Sure, it might be a little weird at first, but I really think he'd be okay with it. With...you and me. But if you're not okay with that, then..."

"Oh, Walker. You're so young and so sweet and so...adorable," she said as she touched his cheek.

"So you're not okay with...us. Right?"

"I haven't even dated anyone since Rick's father died, and I'll admit I'm very confused right now. The confusion comes from the fact that you are so mature and intelligent and..."

"Good looking?" he said with a genuine smile.

"Yes. Okay. Good looking," she said smiling back. "But even if Rick was okay with it, your parents would not be. They'd see me as...as some kind of predator...or worse."

"So it isn't me, it's the way others might react to a 'you and me'. Is that right?"

His perception was very much on the money. Yes, she had very real concerns for other very legitimate reasons, but external appearances weighed heavily on her mind.

"I don't live for other people, Walker. Well, except maybe for Ricky," she said with another pleasant smile. "But I also don't go around looking for...for trouble."

"I honestly never thought about those kinds of things," he told her. "I guess that's where my immaturity comes into play. I hate admitting that, but I can see it's true. All I was thinking about was myself and how much I care about you."

"What you just said tells me you're anything but immature, Walker. You're a kind, caring, sensitive young man. If things were different. If we didn't have so many other things working against us...well, who knows?"

"Taryn? I'll respect whatever decision you make, but will you at least promise me you'll think about this? Will you please not write this off without really giving it some serious thought?"

Taryn broke eye contact and looked down for a moment before looking back up at him.

"Okay. I'll think about it. About...us," she said very quietly.

"Promise?" Walker asked as he moved closer.

"Yes. I promise," she said.

As Walker lowered his head to kiss her, Taryn felt like she was on fire, and her mind was losing the battle. She heard herself say, "Walker, please don't make this any harder for..." as she accepted his kiss.

He pulled her to him and in spite of himself, her arms wrapped around his neck as she returned his soft-but-passionate kiss.

"Why did you do that?" she whispered as it ended.

"Because you are so beautiful I couldn't do anything else," he said quietly as he gently stroked her cheek.

"We should...we should go," she said barely able to speak.

The confusion that had been melting away was back and back with a vengeance. She couldn't think clearly again and the fire had spread to a place that both warmed and scared her. She was also now very afraid of what she might do or perhaps be unable not to do when they got home.

Her mind was a swirling mess by the time they reached the car.

Walker took her skis and put them in the trunk along with his then opened her door. When she thanked him, she glanced up at him and before she could say a word he kissed her again.

"Walker, please," she said when it ended. "That...that isn't helping."

"Taryn, if you ask me not to kiss you again, I won't. Ever."

He stood there looking at her with the car door open then said, "Is that what you're asking me?"

Taryn looked at him for a full second then said, "No." Her voice cracked as she managed to get the single word out.

With that, Walker closed the door once she was inside then went around and started the car.

They drove down the mountain and back through Greenwater and then Enumclaw without saying a word.

Finally Walker asked, "Are you warm enough?"

It took Taryn a second to respond.

"Oh. Yes. It's...it's very nice in here. Thank you for asking."

Traffic was awful as they headed toward Auburn and Renton and back into Seattle.

"I'd love to get out of the city someday," Taryn said, finally speaking, as they drove in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

"Any idea where you'd like to live?" Walker asked unable to take his eyes off the car ahead of them.

"I'd miss the green, but I've always loved Spokane," she told him.

"Spokane? Really? That's about as different as you can get. It's hot, dry, and...brown."

"I know. I do love the mountains and the trees, but I'm so tired of the rain and the gray skies and this insane traffic. That and the equally insane cost of living. I could rent a house for the price of a one-bedroom apartment here in the city," she said.

"I guess I never gave it any thought. It's pretty much all I've ever known."

"Don't forget I grew up here, too, so it's all I've really ever known."

She smiled then said, "I used to fantasize about living in San Diego. I've only been there once, but it's so warm and dry and it's not too hot."

"Why haven't you moved?" Walker asked naively.

"Turns out it's just as expensive as Seattle if not more so. Besides, this is Rick's home, too. And after his dad passed away, I just couldn't ask him to make that kind of change. San Diego was a fantasy but Spokane seems like a very real possibility."

She turned toward Walker who still couldn't look back at her then said, "Maybe someday."

"From a selfish standpoint I hope that doesn't happen," Walker told her. "But I'd never stop you from doing what makes you happy."

"I believe you, Walker," she told him sincerely. "And I would never do anything to keep you from being happy, either."

"Then you have to know that for me to be happy, I need you in my life, Taryn."

He reached for her hand and although there had to be hundreds of reasons why taking it was a bad idea, she offered hers to him and smiled as he squeezed it.

"You know I need time to think, right?" she told him.

"Yes," was all he said back.

"Can you let me have some time?" she asked, her voice sounding hopeful.

"Of course," he told her. "Take as much time as you need. I won't be going anywhere."

"Thank you, Walker," she said.

Neither of them spoke the rest of the way home.

When Walker pulled up to her house she said, "I can't let you walk me to the door. It isn't that I don't want you to, it's just that...I can't."

"Are you really that afraid of what might happen?" he asked, his voice now filled with disappointment.

"Yes," she told him. "I've never been so confused in my entire life, Walker. And I can't risk hurting you—or myself—until I sort this all out. Please tell me you understand."

"Honestly? I don't understand, but I care about you enough to know that I will accept what you're telling me. Is that fair enough?"

"It's more than fair. It's honest and from your heart," she said. She squeezed his hand then said, "A very big, very warm heart."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek and thanked him again for the best day she'd had in years. She omitted mentioning the part about it also being the most troubling and confusing day she'd ever experienced.