His Best Friend's Mom

"I'll get your door," he said.

She reached for his arm and said, "No. Please don't. Okay?"

Walker understood this time. If he did that, she knew he'd kiss her again and if she let him kiss her even one more time...

"All right," he said.

As she opened her door, he reached for her arm.

"Taryn? How will I know when you've had enough time?" he asked.

Without turning around, mostly so he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes, she said, "You'll know. I'm not sure yet how you'll know, but you'll know. Okay?"

"Okay," he said, the disappointment heavy in the single word.

"Thank you again, Walker. I had a truly wonderful time."

"Me, too, Taryn. And I hope you can walk tomorrow."

She faked a small laugh and said, "Thanks. Me, too."

He popped the trunk and watched her get her skis. She waved weakly and forced a smile before slamming it shut. Walker waved back, put the car in gear, and drove off.

Friends told Taryn she was the last person on earth to still have a landline. She rarely used it but believed it was easier for 911 calls to find her so she kept it. She had six messages when she got in and as she set her skis down she hit play.

"Hey, Mom. It's me. Just wanted to discuss something with you. Give me a call when you can. Love you!"

There was a beep followed by another message from Rick.

"Guess you're at work early today. Just trying to get ahold of you. I'll try later. Love you, Mom."

By the sixth message she was freaking out.

"What I wanted to talk about was my next assignment. Looks like my unit is going to Afghanistan and that I'll be going with them. Don't freak out, okay? We'll talk about this soon. Love you! Bye."

Taryn was shaking by the time she finished listening to all six messages again. Rick lived in a barracks and cell phones weren't allowed except on Sunday, their only day off so he must have used a pay phone. She felt like she was coming out of her skin and other than Rick the first person she thought of calling was Walker. She even picked up the phone and started dialing before quickly hanging up.

She sat there staring at the phone not knowing what to do. She had another phone in her room so even after she went to bed she found herself looking at it every few minutes all night waiting for it to ring. By 4am, she knew it wasn't going to and by five, she finally fell asleep. She didn't have to be at work until 4pm that afternoon, but just as she'd predicted, her legs felt like someone had poured acid into them. Only she was the one who'd done the pouring.

The lactic acid build up was excruciating and were she not so worried about Rick and so confused about Walker, she might have laughed each time she took a painful step. Instead, she just felt like crying as she stood in the shower letting the hot water beat down on her until the water turned cold.

She toweled off, had a cup of coffee, then blow dried her hair and got dressed. Even raising her leg to put on her shoes was painful in the extreme. She limped around the house getting ready for work then began to fret that Rick would call right after she left.

She got home a little after midnight after the worst shift of her life. Between the physical pain and the mental anguish she was on the verge of coming unglued. Making matters worse was the big, fat 0 staring at her on the phone's message counter.

"Dammit!" she said as her worries began running wild. If she could just talk to Rick...

As she was staring at the phone, it rang. It was almost 12:30am but Taryn didn't care.

"Hello? Rick?" she said her voice filled with worry.

"Mom! You're finally home. I've been trying to..."

Rick stopped talking when he heard his mother's first sob.

"Hey? What's going on? Are you okay?"

Taryn fought for control then said the best she could, "I'm okay, honey. I'm just so worried about you. Tell me about this...this deployer thing."

"Deployment, Mom. It's called a deployment."

Rick had no idea what she was going through and she had no intention of telling him let alone fussing about correcting her.

"Okay. Your deployment. When? For how long? Will it be dangerous?"

"We finish infantry training tomorrow and I'm going straight to my unit. I'm going to 2/2. That's second battalion, Second Marines," he said as though that would mean something to her.

"Where is that?" she asked.

"Camp Lejeune, North Carolina," he told her.

"North Carolina? Ricky, I thought you were staying at Camp Pendleton in California. I was gonna come visit this summer."

"I know, Mom. I asked for Camp Pendleton but I didn't get it. I finished third in my class and the top two guys wanted California. North Carolina isn't so bad. You could still come visit. Well, after I get back."

They spent nearly an hour on the phone. A very tearful hour for Taryn. Near the end she asked her son a question.

"Honey? I...I've been thinking about something for a really long time."

"Are you dating again, Mom? If so, that's really great. I want you to find someone."

To herself Taryn said, "If only you knew." Out loud she said, "No, not that. Listen, I've been thinking about moving to Spokane for a long time. How would you feel about it if I actually did?"

"Wow. That's huge, Mom. But please don't stay there because you think I'll be upset because, you know, that's where dad lived and where I grew up. I just want you to be happy. You've mentioned that a few times, and if that's what you want to do, I say go for it."

"Really? You wouldn't mind?"

"No. Of course not. Hey, you're not running away from something are you?"

Rick asked because her tone of voice was so different. He couldn't be sure, but it seemed likely she was hiding something from him.

"Um...no. Not really. I just need a change, you know? A fresh start."

"Then go ahead. And Mom? I've saved up quit a bit of money here. I could send you like maybe a thousand dollars if that would help. I'd still have plenty left and I don't think I'll be spending any for the next year or so. Even my car will be up on blocks until I get back."

Taryn refused but Rick sent her a check the next day along with a note that told her how much he loved her. She cried the entire night after she read it as she imagined losing the one person she loved more than anyone else.

As crazy as it seemed, she had to leave because no matter how many times she told herself she couldn't have feelings for Walker, the feelings she had for him tore at her until she thought she might be torn apart.

She still hadn't called him and now she was pretty sure she wouldn't. She knew she should. He deserved that much. But if she spoke to him; if she heard his voice; if he begged her to stay...

She gave notice the next day then contacted a realtor about selling the house she could barely afford to live in then checked into renting a U-Haul as well as job listings and apartments in Spokane. It was very easy to sign a lease thanks to the internet on on-line signatures. Within two days, Taryn had a place to live in Spokane and a plan for the future. For the first time since she'd gone skiing, she almost felt like her old self.

Old. That was another reason she couldn't stay. Letting someone like Walker throw away his life on a woman like her seemed unconscionable. He had a bright future and there was no room in it for her no matter how much he might want or believe there was—or how much she might want to let him.

No, she would put this all behind her and start her life over in a new city. As if that wasn't enough of a plus, she would be so busy moving and getting settled she wouldn't have time to worry about her son—as much.

It was cowardly to do this without telling Walker, but facing him was just too hard. Taryn shook her head when she realized how ridiculous that sounded. She was a grown woman and he was...19. There was no reason she couldn't. She not only should, she needed to ask to meet with him somewhere in public, and let him know face to face about the decision she'd already made.

And it wouldn't be difficult were she not in love with him, and that was the thought that scared her most of all. She'd been unable to get him off her mind since that first kiss and as wrong as it was to run away, she honestly felt there was nothing else she could do other than put distance between herself and the problem.

Three days later, two friends from the diner helped her pack up the house, load everything into the U-Haul, and get her little car securely onto the towing ramp behind it.

The house was officially on the market and once it was empty, Taryn cleaned it the best she could and hoped for the best as she locked the door for the last time. She fought back tears all day knowing she was saying goodbye to the house where'd she'd lived with her husband and raised their son and she somehow managed to keep it together as she walked down the steps to the U-Haul.

She still had a substantial mortgage on the house, but the realtor assured her she had equity in the home and would make a tidy little profit on the sale. That money would give her the ability to sustain herself as she started over in sunny, dry Spokane.

She was careful not to drive anywhere near Walker's place as she left town and breathed a sigh of relief as she left the Seattle city limits. Taryn headed north and would be going over Snoqualmie Pass then take I-90 east all the way to her new home.

Every time she entered Eastern Washington, the dramatic change still surprised her. The western half of the state was lush and green while the eastern side was brown and dry. There were endless fields of sugar beats, alfalfa, and hops growing everywhere, and gone were the endless evergreen trees which grew only on the western side of the Cascade Mountains.

It was a 280-mile drive from Seattle to Spokane and would take about five hours allowing for two quick stops for gas and going pee. The traffic was light on I-90 and the road was clear and dry.

Taryn turned on the radio and listened to any station she could find. Whenever she heard a song she knew she sang along out loud at the top of her lungs. She was on top of the world until a song came on that reminded her of why she was really leaving.

She heard Whitney Houston's beautiful voice ring out the words to I Will Always Love You, and before the song was over, Taryn was crying so hard she thought she'd have to pull over until it passed. How could she possibly even love him let alone...always? Fortunately, the jag didn't last long and she continued on her way with the radio off the rest of the drive.

She forgot about her sadness when she saw the exits for Spokane listed on a green sign overhead. She knew where she needed to go and took the second exit and followed the voice commands on U-Haul's GPS until she arrived at the apartment she'd rented. The manager had FedEx'd her a key after the check she'd FedEx'd to him had cleared, and she was able to get in without a hitch.

Taryn unloaded the things she needed for the night knowing she'd need help with the larger items the following morning. The apartment was totally unfurnished so she'd be spending her first night in an old sleeping back she'd brought along. The living room was the only place that was carpeted so that's where she'd sleep.

She went out for fast food then came back to her empty, new apartment and ate alone in peaceful solitude. She felt happy in spite of feeling a bit of anxiety about the future. She didn't have a job yet and didn't know a soul. And yet here she was in her own apartment with the belief her house would sell quickly or at least before what money she still had ran out and she now had the rest of her life ahead of her. All she had to do was live it—and forgot about the boy she loved.

"One thing at time," she told herself.

She only ate part of the chicken sandwich she'd bought and put the rest in the fridge. She brushed her teeth and by 10 o'clock, she was tucked inside her sleeping bag, her favorite pillow under bed, and her new life waiting for her when she woke up.

Taryn not only found someone to help her the next day, her helper turned out to be a reasonably-attractive man of about 40 who not only helped carry in the heavy items, he stayed and helped her put everything away. When they were finished he told her again how pleased he was to meet her, that he thought she was very attractive, and asked her if she'd like to go out sometime.

"You know what? I think I'd like that!" she told him. He wasn't gorgeous or even really good looking, but he was 'good enough' and seemed to be a decent, caring guy.

Over the next six months, they dated off and on as Taryn let him know that first day she planned to date a number of men. She'd explained how she'd lost her husband and that she needed to see more than just one guy and this new friend, Mark, told her he understood.

She'd had little trouble finding work and was now a receptionist for a doctor's office on the west side of the city. She loved her job and although the pay wasn't great, it was more than adequate to pay her expenses and leave her with a modest amount to spend each month.

The house did sell rather quickly and at the three-month mark, Taryn received a check for $37,516.12. That was more money than she'd ever seen in her life and she put $35,000 of it in her savings account and used the rest to upgrade her wardrobe for work and to buy a few small things for her apartment.

When Rick was just two months from finishing his tour in Afghanistan, he called home and let his mom know approximately when he'd be coming home. So far he'd been very fortunate and not had so much as a scratch. When he got back, he told her he planned to fly into Seattle, spend a couple of days with Walker, then rent a car and drive to Spokane.

Just the mention of Walker's name filled Taryn with a flood of emotions. She'd managed to largely put him out of her mind although his memory was really almost always very much there and still a hot, glowing ember. As long as she didn't give it oxygen or fuel, it was quiet and well behaved. When Rick told his mom who he'd be staying with, some kind of bellows breathed air onto those embers, and Taryn was more than disturbed with how it made her feel.

She'd never tell her son what had happened, and now she secretly prayed Walker wouldn't, either. If he did, perhaps that would help her get over him as she would consider that to be a huge breech of trust.

Trust. How could she even use that word after the way she'd 'crawled' out of town without so much as a goodbye? She sighed deeply and hoped the flame would die back down and this whole thing would just go away.

Ten weeks later, Rick called from Camp Lejeune and let his mother know he was back safe and sound. Taryn's voice was filled with relief as she told him how grateful she was that he was home. Well, almost home.

Rick said very little but he mentioned that three of his friends had been killed and several others wounded. She felt terrible for their families, but Rick was her world and now he was home alive and well.

"So I'll be heading to Seattle in a week," he told her. "We have a lot of equipment to clean up, but then we're getting 30 days leave."

He planned to spend 25 of those days in Spokane after hanging out with Walker for the first five.

"Okay, honey. Let me know when you get to Seattle, okay?" she said sweetly.

"I will, Mom. And...I love you."

"I love you, too, Ricky," she said as she blinked back tears.

Her son called as soon as he landed in Seattle and her heart leapt when he said, "Walker picked me up. He's right here. Do you wanna to say hi?"

Taryn had a lump in her throat and a knot in her stomach.

"Mom? You still there?"

"Oh, yes. I'm here, honey. Look, I'm at work and I'm really busy right now, okay?" she told him even though she was sitting at home. "You guys have a really great time and call before you leave, okay?"

"Okay. Will do," he told her.

After she hung up, Taryn's entire body was shaking. After all these months this made no sense. Besides Mark, she'd gone out with a half dozen different men to include one of the doctors where she worked. All of them had told her how beautiful she was and how much they liked her. She'd enjoyed the company of all but one of them and had seen two of the men a second time.

There'd only been this one date...no, this one incident...with Walker and yet...

As they left the airport in Seattle, Walker asked about Rick's mom immediately after his phone call.

"She's doing great, man. She loves Spokane, she's got a job she really enjoys, and a nice little apartment."

Without letting on, Walker casually asked, "Spokane? I saw the house was up for sale but I didn't hear from her before she left."

He hesitated then also asked, "Is she seeing anyone?"

"As to dating, yeah, she's seeing someone."

Walker's heart sank.

"Well, kind of, I guess. There's some guy named Mark she seems to like and there's a doctor named George something or other where she works. Nothing serious, but yeah, she is dating. I really hope she finds someone, you know?"

"Yeah. I do," Walker forced himself to say. "She deserves to be happy."

"It's weird, you know? She only mentioned this once, but just before she left for Spokane, she said there was some guy she'd fallen in love with in Seattle, and she had to get away."

Walker stopped moving and looked right at his friend.

"Did she say who this guy was or what she meant by 'falling' for him?"

"No. Not really. She mentioned something about him being a lot younger and how it was...ah, shit. What word did she use? Oh. Inappropriate. I told her the hell with appropriate. if she loved the guy she should go for it."

"Yeah? What'd she say to that?"

"Damn. What did she say? Something like, 'You just wouldn't understand and you'd never approve.' Like my mom needs my approval to fall in love with someone, right?"

Rick said with a laugh. "Come on, let's get the hell out of here! There's beer to be drunk and women to find!"

Walker was dying to ask question after question, but he wasn't about to betray Taryn's confidence. He sucked it up and pretended everything was just fine. It was now clear why Taryn had left and the fact she'd chose not to contact him pretty much told him all he needed to know. And yet he still couldn't stop thinking about her.

They did drink a fair amount of beer and Rick did find a girl to hook up with, but Walker had no interest in girls. He tried to be his old self while Rick was home visiting, but what he'd said—and how Walker still felt about his mom—made that next to impossible.

Rick was different, too, but then war tends to do that to people. Both of them were mature enough to recognize that the friendship was still strong. It had just changed and change was inevitable.

"You all set, bro?" Walker asked as his five days later when his friend got into the Camaro he'd rented at the airport.

"Oh, yeah. This ain't no Mustang 5.0, but it's pretty sweet," he answered.

Walker had set inside and it made him feel like he was in a WWII pillbox trying to look out through slits of glass.

"Be safe, man. And um, tell you mom I said hello, would you?"

"You got it! You really should come with me. I know she'd love to see you."

"I can't, man. Work and all that. I just got my General Contractor's license and Dad's got big plans for me so that has to be my priority."

"You're gonna be rich someday, Walk. Not me. Marines don't get rich."

"What? Are you seriously thinking about staying in?" his friend said hardly able to believe his own ears.

"Yeah. Maybe. I dunno. I actually liked being in Afghanistan. The guys I went with are the best and I'd do anything for any one of them. So if it stays like that, yeah, I might just re-enlist."

"You don't need my approval, but you've got my support. You know that, right?"