Letting It Go

"Do you know what you want to do?" she asked.

"The hell of it is that I don't, really. I've gone through my general ed now, so I'm going to have to figure it out pretty quick."

"How about you?" I added, turning it around to her.

"Oh, high school was okay, nothing special. I was ready to be done with school, get out in the world. So I did a year at LCC, like you, got certified as a medical assistant. Got a job at Mercy and that's where I've been. Do you work second shift, too?"

"Yes I do. That must be why we're always both here at the same time."

We both chuckled at that. Then she yawned.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm still a little fried. Can we continue this in the morning? I know, how about this—would you like to have a picnic lunch? I know a corner of McAllister Park that hardly anyone goes to. We'd have a nice quiet place for some conversation. I'll pack some sandwiches and things. Okay?"

"Wonderful idea. I'm in. I'd love to see you in the sunlight."

"Okay. Walk me out to my car, Joey?"

I took her hand and left the bar with her. At her car she gave me her address and another tender kiss. This time I returned it with equal warmth.

"Meet me at my place at eleven, okay?"

"Okay. Good night, Ida."

"Good night."

---

I was up at eight-thirty, showered and dressed by nine. Mom had just seen Dad off to work, and was there in the kitchen when I came in to grab some orange juice.

"You're up early, Joey."

"Yeah. Got a lunch date. Can't be ready too soon."

"Oh? Nice girl?"

"All my dates are nice girls, Mom," I said, pouring the juice. "That's the law or something, isn't it?"

She laughed.

"Okay, have a good time, son. And a good day at work."

"Sure Mom, bye."

I was in the car by ten-thirty. The air was pleasant. It was late August, in this part of the country a time when it was starting to cool off from the stifling mugginess of midsummer. I drove across town slowly and took a couple of detours so I wouldn't be early. I pulled up at her place at exactly eleven o'clock.

Her home was an apartment in a relatively new block, on the ground floor. I climbed three steps to her door and knocked.

She was waiting for me, wearing a white sundress that featured her ample breasts. She had packed a real wicker picnic basket. We got in the car and she gave me a peck on the cheek just before I pulled out.

The place at McAllister Park was a little picnic site with a table, hidden from the rest of the park by a row of pine trees. At the far side of the site was another stand of pines about fifty feet wide that ended at a small pond. We stood and breathed in the air, rich with the scent of pine.

She unpacked the basket, producing paper plates, utensils, roast beef, ham and Swiss cheese sandwiches on sourdough bread, potato chips, brownies, and cold cans of orange soda.

"That's quite a spread, Ida! You done good," I said.

"And just so we'll enjoy it the most..." she pulled out a joint. "I should have asked you before, but I wouldn't be corrupting you if I fired this up, would I?"

"Nothing new to me, my friend. You've thought of everything!"

She lit it, took a toke, and passed it to me.

"Well, here's to a beautiful day with a beautiful companion," I said, took my own hit, and passed back the joint.

We continued to share the twist, holding down the smoke in our lungs, which left little breath for more than a few witty and silly remarks. By the time it was done the world around us was already looking softer, the sunlight more luminous, the woods more alive. Ida herself appeared breathtakingly radiant to me, or was that just the effect of the sunlight playing on her face? It didn't matter. Life was wonderful.

We fell to our lunch, which of course tasted better than any lunch ever had.

At last we were satiated, sitting back and sipping at the soda to quell the raging thirst that the weed engendered.

"That was the best ever!" I said. "Did you make the brownies?"

"They were a mix," she said. "Just dump and stir. They were already made, I just had to throw the sandwiches together."

"Still...everything was great."

We gazed over our wooded surroundings in peaceful reverie. A few ducks came waddling into view, visitors from the pond. I pointed; Ida followed my gesture and smiled.

"So, Joey," she said, "would you like me to tell you about my first time now?"

"I can't think of a better time and place," I replied.

She came over to my side of the table and sat next to me, facing outward. I turned around on the bench and then halfway to face her as she began her story.

Ida's First Time

---

It was in my senior year. I had just turned eighteen and had been going out with Jimmy for two months. He was a sweet guy, affectionate and caring. We weren't really in love in the happily-ever-after sense, but I felt it was close enough. I was ready to lose my virginity, and I trusted him. I wanted him to be my first.

It was my idea. I know, you're asking why he wasn't all over me, going after my cherry like a dog chasing a rabbit. Yes, my girl friends had some stories for me. But not everyone is the same. It would be his first time too. I found that some guys get that it's a big life event and they want it to be special when it happens. You only get one first time. So I brought it up to him one night while we were making out—which we could do for hours. I asked him, maybe not tonight, but soon?

At first he was like, "Are you sure, Ida? Are you sure?" I knew he wanted me, but he was maybe a little scared. But I worked on him, gave him condoms, wrote him little notes about what I wanted to do with him, and how I wanted so much to do it. Poor guy, I wore him down. Ha, he didn't think of it that way, I'm sure.

Anyway, came the day when he just said, "Yes," and we made our plans. Can you guess where I had him take me? Go on, guess. No, not there. I had him take me right here, this very place. It's perfect, isn't it? We came here just at sunset. I can still see it the way it looked that evening. We put our blanket down right over there.

We were all set, and then at the last minute I got scared. I mean, I was shaking. He held me, saying it's all right, we didn't have to do it, he loved me just the same. Then he kissed me, and it was like magic, it took the fear right out of me. We just kissed and touched each other for a long time. I felt his cock through his pants. It was the first time I'd done that. It felt like a miracle that it was so hard when I knew that normally it wasn't. I wanted to see it.

I unzipped his jeans and got them off him. Well, he helped. He helped take his shorts off too. Actually by that time it was mostly him. His cock was gorgeous. I'd never seen anything like it. Well, I'd seen pictures, but they couldn't come close to the reality. I touched it, closed my hand around it. It was so hard but still yielding to my touch, especially the head. I told him it was beautiful. I meant it. I asked him if I could kiss it, take it in my mouth. Like he was gonna say "no"!

So I sucked him. The feeling of his crown parting my lips was incredible. I took him in as deep as I could. He was just going crazy, telling me how it felt so good. I'm sure it wasn't the best blowjob ever, I mean it was my first and I really had no clue, but I did my best and he was loving it. After a few minutes I let go of him. I didn't want him to come yet; I wanted him to come really hard when he was in me.

I got my clothes off quickly. I was wearing a skirt and a pullover top with no bra, easy to remove. He took his shirt off too. He had seen and touched my breasts before, but he could never resist them. He was kissing them and sucking my nipples, getting me very excited.

Finally I said, "Okay honey, it's time for you to take off my panties."

He was so ready for that. He had me naked in no time. And he was absolutely fascinated by my pussy. He was stroking it so gently at first, exploring it, trying to feel everything. Of course this was making me crazy. I kept telling him to go harder, to really rub it. He started to put his finger inside me, and then suddenly there was a sharp pain there. It made me cry out, and there was a little blood. It scared Jimmy so much that he wanted to stop, but I told him that apparently I'd still had a hymen, it was okay, it would be better in a minute. I told him to keep on stroking me on the outside, that felt really good.

I showed him what felt best to me, rubbing myself the way I would when I was alone. He picked right up on that and soon he really had me going, right up to the edge. I was going to come for the first time with a man. I was in another world. This was how it was meant to be.

I said, "Jimmy, honey, I'm gonna come, don't stop, please!"

He didn't stop, but moved up a little over me and sucked my nipple. Then I exploded. That's what it felt like. It was more intense than anything I'd felt before. I was writhing around on the blanket, crying out, calling his name. He told me afterward that he was afraid someone would hear me. Right then I didn't care.

He let me rest for a few minutes, stroking my hair and my face, telling me how fantastic it had been to watch me come and know that he had made it happen.

Now we both wanted him inside me. He got out a condom and I helped him put it on, rolling it down the shaft of his cock. I kissed him and told him it was okay now, there was no more pain and I was good and wet. I told him to put his cock in my pussy and fuck me good.

He got on his knees between my legs and put the head into the opening of my vagina. I could see his face; he was looking at the place we were joined and his expression was one of awe.

I said to him, "Yes, that's it, go ahead and put it in me, I'm ready."

He slowly pushed inside me. I'll never forget that feeling of a cock entering me for the first time, so warm, filling me up and stretching me. His face told me that what he was feeling was just as good.

He said, "Oh god, Ida, it feels so good, I never imagined."

I said, "I know honey, you feel so good inside me too. Please, keep moving now."

He was pumping me then, moving his cock in and out of me. I could tell he wasn't going to last long enough for me to come with him, but that was all right, he had gotten me off and now it was his turn. I called to him to keep going, faster, harder. I could tell from his face that he was getting close.

"Yes, lover," I cried, "Go for it. Come in me. Come for me, now!"

He just pounded into me then. Suddenly he stopped, all the way inside me, and just roared with pleasure. I could feel his cock jumping inside me. He was pumping all the come he had into the condom. His eyes were rolled up in his head. He kept making these sounds like his breath rasping in his throat. I hooked my legs around his back to make it feel even better for him. I used them to pull his cock in even deeper while he emptied himself into me.

I kept him inside me for a few minutes while he caught his breath. He was telling me how good it was, in broken sentences between gasps.

Finally he pulled out. The whole end of the condom was filled with his semen. It was even backed up behind the head of his cock.

I told him, "You really came a lot". Like I knew what "a lot" was.

He said, "I sure did. That was amazing."

We just lay there then, kissing and caressing each other. That was my first time.

---

By the time Ida finished, I had become highly aroused. At the same time I felt the cloud of melancholy settle over me, comparing her story with my own life.

"What happened with you and Jimmy?" I asked.

"Oh, it was one of those 'going to different schools' situations. He got into a good university out of state, and I was staying here. We saw each other a few times more in the first year, then we had to decide to let each other go. We still write. He's a very special memory for me. He says I am for him too."

"I wish I could have had an experience like that," I finally said.

"You can still have one. It's never too late."

"I feel like I have too much going on now. I should be figuring out what I want to do with my education. I should be figuring out what I want to do with my life. I can't work in a factory forever. I'd die of boredom." I was talking to myself as much as to her.

"So is it all about your long-term goals, then?" she asked. "Nothing for the here and now?"

"I tried balancing them once. That didn't work out too well. You know State is a big party school, right? I got as much into that scene as I could stomach, trying to have the college experience that would bring me all that life experience, like, you know, the sex. But I mostly just got a lot of drinking experience. My grades suffered. That's part of why I'm staying out this fall—need to get my priorities straight."

"I don't think the college-party life is all it's made out to be, either," she responded. "I don't miss it for not having gone. But you should have something else going for you. Just chasing the grades isn't a full life."

"What else is there? Seriously, I'm not seeing it."

"Where's the joy in life then?"

"Damned if I know, Ida."

"It could be all around you, every day," she said. "Like this day in the park. If you don't give it a chance, you could miss it, not even see it."

"I don't know," I repeated.

"You went out with some girls up at State, didn't you? You've had practice kissing, I can tell. You probably missed a cue at some point that would have gotten you into bed with one of them. That's all right, it happens. But don't dwell on it. That's in the past. Let it go. We are here, now. You and me."

I was silent, still brooding.

"Joey," she said slowly, "You know how I was all over you the other night? What I wanted to tell you before is, I did that because you are a very sexy man and you were kind to me when I needed it. No other reason. I was really stupid and clumsy about it because of the booze, and I couldn't follow through because of it either, but that's why. I still feel the same way."

"Ida," I began.

"No, wait," she insisted. "I'm not looking for another relationship. I got hurt badly this time. It's going to be a long time yet before I'm ready. But like I told you before, that doesn't mean that I hate all men. And I still have feelings.

"Let me put it this way." Her voice lowered almost to a whisper. "I want you. You may think it's too soon after my breakup, but it isn't about getting back at him, it's about cleansing me. I don't want him to be the last one who's touched me. I want it to be you. Just like I chose Jimmy to be my first."

My heart was skipping beats. Was this really happening? No woman had ever spoken to me like this before.

"Ida," I said softly, "You've touched me to my soul."

"I hope so," she told me. "This is what I was just trying to say to you. You would have missed me, if I hadn't spelled it out for you."

Something broke inside me. My wall of stupidity?

I said simply, "I'm yours for the taking."

The smile that came to her sweet lips melted any trace of the wall that was left. Her arms went around my neck and then those lips were on mine, searching out the pent-up desire that she knew was there. I gave it up willingly, kissing her with a hunger I had never felt before. My tongue probed her lips, penetrated them, found her tongue and tangled with it. My closer arm went around her waist and pulled her tightly against me. The other found her breasts and played over them gently, softly.

We stayed that way for a minute that seemed like an eternity.

When we separated, she said "Oh, you're good! Goosebumps good. Who taught you to kiss like that?"

"You did, mostly. I think I was just okay before. But I gave you back what you gave me."

"With that strategy, my dear, you are going to be a star in my bed. Because what I'm going to do to you...it's too bad we have to go to work soon. I'll need to have open-ended time to do everything I want to do with you. I can give you a taste now. But first, promise you'll come back to my place after work tonight?"

"Of course I will," I promised.

"All right," she said. She pushed the straps of her sundress down her arms and let the top of the dress fall.

I had not really gotten a clear look at her two nights before, in the car. In the sunlight she was magnificent. Her breasts stood out proudly from her chest, all smooth soft skin, teardrop-shaped with those glorious brown nipples pointing forward.

She smiled shyly and said, "So, Joey, do you like them?"

"They're beautiful, Ida. Like you."

"They're all yours, honey. Go ahead, touch them. Stroke the sides of them; that feels really good. Kiss them all over. I love that. And when you're ready to really make me crazy, suck my nipples. Like you did before. That makes me all tingly right here."

And she cupped a hand over the front of her dress, between her hips.

"Not all women are that sensitive, but I sure am," she went on. "Are you going to—ohhh!"

I had of course gone right for the nipple, and sure enough her face told a tale of sudden arousal.

"Hey, I had to try it out, you know," I grinned.

"Bad boy." She was grinning too.

I lightly traced over the sides of her breasts with my fingertips, leaving little kisses in their wake. Her soft skin had the same honey-like fragrance as before. As I moved to the undersides, she ran her fingers through my hair and was making little 'ooh' and 'ahh' sounds. She must be more sensitive here. I let her guide my head to all the places she wanted attention, and caressed each delicious one with my parted lips. I was circling around the edge of her brown areola, trailing kisses, when she stopped me.

She lowered her hand down to the crotch of my jeans and felt for my cock. It was erect and ready.

"Oh my god, it feels so big," she said.

"It likes you, that's why," I replied.

"Are you going to let me see it?"

"Do you want to see it now?"

"Yes, I do. Now. Take your pants off. Show me what you have."

"What are you gonna do then? Once you've seen it?"

"I'll tell you what. I'm going to suck it."

"Oh my god," I said, involuntarily.

"Yes. I'm going to suck that big, thick cock of yours until you come."

"Oh my god," I repeated.

"Let's get your pants off then." She was pulling my shoes off as she spoke.

She knelt on the grass between my legs and attached her lips to the lump in my pants. Her tongue jacked the exact spot where the head was. I could feel it through two layers of clothing, making me even harder.

"Come on! What are you waiting for?" she demanded.

I unzipped, lifted my hips off the bench, and pulled the jeans down. She pulled them the rest of the way off. I was wearing blue colored cotton briefs underneath. They were distended by my erection, which was straining to escape. The sight of her breasts, just inches away, made sure it was going to keep seeking freedom.

She planted her lips on the front of my briefs, right on the outline of my shaft. It almost made me jump. She ran her mouth up and down, following the outline. Oh, did I need to have those lips on me directly.

"Please, take them off me. You're making me crazy, Ida. Please..." I begged.

"Ohhh, I love hearing you beg," she said. "Yes, you need this. You need it bad. I'm going to give it to you, but I need to hear it one more time."

"Please, take them off. Take them off and suck me. I need it so much...please!"

"Yes, baby. Since you asked so nicely..." she said. And took hold of the waistband and pulled down. I raised my hips again and they slid down off them, revealing my naked, erect cock to her.

"Oh my, Joey," she said, looking at it, "What a beautiful cock you have. So hard, so thick and throbbing. I can't wait to feel it in my pussy tonight."