Limbo Ch. 02

Lana clapped and squealed with joy. Sam lowered her mouth and kissed her all over her face once more.

"Sam's very close to her brother," her mother confided in Ethan. "They were inseparable as kids. There wasn't a secret that one of them had that the other didn't know."

"Why don't we show him the tape?" her father said. Thalia nodded and fetched a CD.

"This is from four years ago."

The flatscreen flickered to life. The first scene was of Sam's parents whispering between themselves. The video moved to the yard where a large neighbourhood party was in progress. Thalia, visibly pregnant, was pouring out some punch and chatting with her friends. The jerky camera panned to Sam trying to focus her zoom onto a nearby squirrel.

The video moved back to Sam's parents as they gesticulated in her direction. The video returned to her with her camera. All of a sudden, a large, hulking man came into the scene out of nowhere and lifted her clean off her feet with a hug.

Sam was whirled around and put down before she returned the hug with interest and a squeal which could have shattered glass. All the guests at the party gasped, none louder than Thalia. She rushed over and joined the hug.

There were cheers and claps all around. Captain James Penderghast had returned early from his tour of duty. The camera zoomed in on his face sandwiched between identical smiles by Sam and Thalia.

"And cut," said Sam.

They exchanged more banter for some more hours. Ethan felt as if he had known Sam's parents forever. Thalia was the perfect hostess, never letting him spend more than ten minutes without a tray of edibles within reach. Sam clung onto Lana throughout.

"Aunt Sam, do you want to see my new dress?"

"Why I'd love to?" she said. "Maybe I'll even take a picture of you in it."

Lana led Sam by her hand upstairs. Her family watched them all the way to her room.

"I'm glad Sam has started making friends again," remarked her father.

"She looks so happy, almost like her old self before..." began Thalia, quickly gauging that Ethan didn't know what was being talked about. She stopped awkwardly and clapped her palm over her mouth.

Ethan stared around the living room taking in the mortified expressions. The wheels turned furiously in his head before he spoke up.

"Whatever happened, you don't have to share it with me if you're not comfortable."

The other three people present looked at each other for a few long moments.

"Sam trusts you," said her mother quietly. "That's enough reason for me."

Ethan grew increasingly more curious. He took a bite of a cookie and listened.

"I just want you to know that..." began her mother, wiping the beginnings of a few tears. "Sam may look carefree and spirited, but she's hurting deep down inside. She's been through hell and we know it. Remember that, always, when you're with her. Even if she doesn't talk about it, she relives it every night."

"She really likes you, you know?" added Thalia. "We thought she'd never trust a man again, but she's pushing down all her fears so that she can be your friend. Treat her right, okay?"

"What happened to her?"

Thalia looked from Sam's mother to her father and then back at Ethan with pursed lips. Finally, she spoke up.

"I'm sorry, but I can't tell you that. She'd never forgive me if I did. In time, maybe she'll tell you herself."

There was an awkward pause for a few minutes before Samantha reappeared with her niece in tow and a whole array of photographs. They bid their farewells and Ethan led her outside. He looked at her by his side, placidly hiding the immense weight of whatever her family kept from him.

In a sudden rush of emotions, he hugged her tightly for no apparent reason. She drew her head back and shot him a funny look.

"How much wine did you have while I was gone?"

He simply smiled and helped her into the car. They drove back to the city. Ethan got off at his apartment. He climbed to the roof and gazed at the starry skies unfurled above him.

His phone started ringing. He lifted it to his eyes to see the familiar number he didn't want to speak to. But, he felt a tug at his heartstrings. The day had been about the importance of family, and it left a warm aftermath. Surely, he could blame it on the wine later. He picked up the call.

"You finally picked up."

"Hi, Val," he said. "Beautiful night, isn't it?"

"Yes it is. You're a hard man to get a hold of, Ethan. For the last ten years I get one tedious phone call on my birthday and Christmas and that's it. You can imagine how surprised I was to get your call that day."

"It was a moment of weakness, Val. I had just seen so many people die from drug overdose. That was when it really hit me that I had to move on."

"I need a moment of weakness to get a phone call from my own brother? That's really sad, you know. Do you know how many times I've tried calling you since?"

"I know, but I'm sorry. I couldn't bring myself to answer."

Valerie was silent for a few seconds.

"Why?" she asked earnestly. "What have I done to deserve losing you?"

"You know what," he sighed heavily. "... and you know I'd rather not talk about it."

"NO!" said the voice on the other end of the call with emphasis. "This cold war between us has gone on for too long. It ends tonight. Whatever you want to say, you're going to say it to me and we're going to begin mending our relationship."

"Not now, Val. I'm not up for it."

"No time like the present. You're mad at me, I get it. Yell, scream and get it all out of your system. I'm not dropping this call until you do."

"Please, Val," he said in a tremulous tone. "Please don't do this."

"I want my little brother back; the brother who was my best friend once, and I'll be damned if I don't do whatever it takes."

Ethan didn't say anything. The bitterness in his throat was evident.

"Everything you ever wanted to tell me, now's your chance. Don't hold any of it back."

He scoured his mind for the right words to express the multitude of emotions he felt. There was a brief pause before he began, slowly but with intensity.

"Valerie Cole, you don't have a brother. Not anymore. Do you remember all those times when Dad came home drunk and was going to beat you? I got in his way until you had locked yourself in your room and he only beat me instead. Do you remember all those times I stood up for you? I do. Do you remember how I fought for you when you came out to Mom and Dad? I do."

He paused to take a breath. A few stray tears had crept past his defences. Ten years of suppressed up rage and frustration had finally reached a tipping point. It was all coming out, whether he liked it or not.

"The one time I wanted you to stand up for me, the one time I needed your support, you weren't there. Dad told me not to marry Zoe and you took his side. You said it was because we were too young, but it was really because you didn't want to stand up to Dad."

His voice was cracking up now, but he was determined to go on.

"Mom wasn't there to protect me any more and I needed my elder sister. I begged and cried for my elder sister to be there for me, but she wasn't."

He cried bitterly into the phone. Fat tear drops rolled down his cheeks onto the concrete floor. His vision was too blurry to see the individual stars any more.

"Are you done?" asked Valerie softly.

He shut the phone and trudged back down to his apartment. He wouldn't admit it, but he felt lighter than he had in ages.

* *

Mount Sinai is a world-renowned hospital. Ethan was thrilled to see the state-of-the-art equipment, cutting-edge labs and some of the best medical teams to learn from.

Sadly, the one thing that didn't change was the necessity to do a weekly ER rotation. He stood in his white miracle-worker uniform and deftly dodged the latest woman who claimed to have a skin condition he just had to feel "down there".

His phone rang and he answered it.

"Hey, Sam. Yeah, I'm about to finish with the last few patients in the ER."

"The film festival starts in like ten minutes," she fumed on the other end.

"I'm sorry. Save me a seat, will you? I'll call you up once I get to Tribeca and you can tell security to let me in."

There was an exasperated groan and the call dropped. Ethan heartily cursed whoever came up with the idea of an ER rotation and moved on to the next privacy curtain.

"So, what-"

His words froze in his throat. His knees felt like jelly and a sledgehammer had been slammed into his gut. He balled his hand into a fist so hard his knuckles turned white. His head began spinning and he felt momentarily disoriented.

On the bed, sporting a nasty bruise on her face and a bleeding lip, sat the woman formerly known as Zoe Moreno-Cole. She looked up at him, her swollen eye opening a sliver to greet him.

Ethan opened the file. He was determined to be professional. He was determined to show that she did not get to him.

"Mrs Moreno." She's decided to keep her maiden name.

She smiled as best as her lips would allow.

"What happened to you, Mrs Moreno?"

"The tiles were wet in the washroom floor and I slipped. I caught the edge of the tub with my face. It was a stupid accident."

Ethan knew it was a bald-faced lie, but he continued with his forced professionalism. He felt the bruised areas for tenderness. His fingers lingered for a moment too long on her lips.

"Are you sure it was a fall in the washroom that caused this?"

"Yes," she insisted. "Please. It's not what it looks like."

"Okay then," he said. "I think you have a fractured cheekbone. The orderly will take you to get an X-ray."

Continuing with his coldly stoic manner, he made a few notes. He wasn't going to show any weakness. He wasn't going to show Zoe what she did to him.

"After you have your X-ray, tell the orderly to bring you to my office. Depending on the extent of damage, I can prescribe some pain meds."

Ethan wrote out his X-ray request and tore it from his pad.

"I'll go get an orderly."

Just as he was about to leave, she held his hand. It wasn't hard, but it might as well have been with a vice because he couldn't move. Once more, his mind reeled back to her tender touch which had made ten years of his life so much less miserable.

Quietly, he closed the privacy curtain all the way and turned to face her.

"Sorry," she said through her fattened lips.

"Sorry?"

"I didn't know you're with Mount Sinai now. I wouldn't have come otherwise."

Zoe let go of his hand and let it slump by his side. She tried smiling as best she could.

"What do you want?" he said raspily.

"Nothing. I have no agenda. I've caused you enough pain. I'm not going to be the reason for any more," she said. "You don't have to treat me, Ethan."

"Like it or not, I do. I'm responsible for the ER today."

Her good eye ran up and down the length of his figure.

"You look good, Ethan. Much better than I remember."

"Zoe, are you sure you got these bruises from a fall in the washroom? You're lying and not doing a good job of it."

"Yes!" she pleaded. "I don't care what you think. That's what happened."

"Did your husband do this to you? You know I have to file a police report if I think he did."

"Please, I beg you, don't. Don't make it any more worse for me than it is."

He offered her a handkerchief to wipe a few tears.

"You must be feeling vindicated now. I left you and I got what I deserved," she croaked.

"No. I never wanted this for you. No matter what you did, I never wanted you to get hurt."

Even as he said this, he felt the sickly sweet feeling of Schadenfreude within. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't the smallest bit satisfied. It was but a human tendency.

"I believe you, Ethan. You're the best man I ever met. Our break-up tore me up from within, as I imagine it did to you."

"Yet you went through with it any way. Divorce him then, be free again. It's not like it'll be a first for you," he spat out bitterly.

It took a few deep breaths to get his calm back.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he added.

"It doesn't matter. It's my fault. I left the most wonderful man in the world for a silly rich girl fantasy. I deserve whatever I get."

"You think putting up with your husband beating you is punishment? You think you're punishing yourself for breaking up with me?" Ethan said coldly. "It is nothing compared to what I went through after you left me. You broke my heart into a million little pieces. Nothing you can do to yourself will come close."

With that, he left to call the orderly. He didn't even look back once at Zoe.

An hour or so later, he was in his apartment, curled up next to a bottle of single malt. All the memories he had worked so hard to contain came flooding back to him. The rosier it looked, the more painful it felt.

He walked to his bureau and opened the top drawer. Amidst all the clothes, he found a jewellery box. With trembling fingers, he opened it to see a threaded gold pendant. He opened the clasp and wistfully saw the twin pictures of him and Zoe.

With a choked sob in his throat, Ethan realised he had not moved on.

* *

"I can't believe you missed the film festival yesterday. After all that effort I went through to get the tickets."

Ethan didn't answer. They sat at Marea, on the verge of enjoying the best tortelloni and ragu in Manhattan, but his mind was elsewhere. Samantha looked at him with narrowed eyes. Finally, she snapped her fingers in front of his face to grab his attention.

"I'm sorry, what?" he blurted out.

"What's up with you?" Sam asked pointedly. "You haven't said two words today."

"I'm preoccupied, that's all."

"With what?" she asked, raising her brow.

"Something at work," he waved off.

"You're lying," Sam declared, wiping her mouth with the serviette. Ethan looked down at his untouched food, suddenly not feeling very hungry.

"What can't you tell me?" she asked earnestly, holding his palm. "I won't judge, you know that."

"It's..." he began, frantically searching for an excuse. Finally, he gave up and put his cutlery down.

"Zoe came to the ER yesterday."

As briefly and painlessly as possible, he told her about their meeting. Her eyes went wider with every subsequent sentence and she clutched his palm tightly. It took around ten of the longest minutes he had known.

"That's all?" she asked. Ethan nodded.

"You have to tell the police."

"I can't," he said plainly. "She begged me not to and said she'll refuse to press charges. There's no absolute proof her husband even did it."

"So what are you going to do, stand by and let her be abused? Is that the kind of man you are?"

He didn't have an answer for it. He dearly wished he did.

"I know you, Ethan. If you don't do anything, you will regret it for a long time."

"Who's to say I won't regret it if I do?"

Damned if he did. Damned if he didn't.

* *

"Don't look so gloomy. It's only for a month."

Ethan opened the door for Sam and her luggage. She was going to Hong Kong to cover the last few days of the student protests. He led her to the concourse entrance at JFK and waited for her to take out her documents for verification. She threw a sidelong glance at him, seeing a familiar moroseness she had tried to alleviate.

All of a sudden, she enveloped him in a hug and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'll come back as soon as I can. I promise."

They parted ways and Ethan went back to his apartment. It was still early in the morning, and he needed to get ready for work. It all felt as if he was going through the motions. He made himself a bare minimum breakfast and headed out.

It was all the same, yet it was different. He didn't realise how much he'd miss Sam.

"Dr Cole, there's a woman waiting in front of your office. She has been waiting for a while now."

Ethan saw Zoe on the couch. She was dressed simply and had a much less visible bruise on her face now. She almost looked like the woman he fell for over ten years ago.

"Come in," he beckoned. "It's good to see you're healing well."

"Ethan, I want you to stop trying to protect me. I told you I'm not pressing charges. Yesterday, two officers showed up at my place asking me if I've been abused. I had to listen to them for an over an hour and they treated me like a battered woman who won't report her husband."

The irony of the sentence hung in the air.

"I had to get them out before Milos came back from work. It would have been much worse for me if he saw them."

"Do you hear yourself?" Ethan said, banging his fist on the desk. "You're terrified of him and yet you won't press charges."

Zoe recoiled in fear, her hazel eyes shimmering. A nurse nearby knocked on the office to ensure everything was all right. Ethan lied and sent her off before turning back to his ex-wife.

"I don't have time for this right now."

"Then I'll wait downstairs, like I used to."

"My shift has barely started. You plan to wait for eight hours?"

"It was never a problem before." She smiled and got up.

For the rest of his day, Ethan walked in a daze. He went from patient to patient unable to focus. His paperwork was decidedly underdone and he was a silent spectator in the M&M he was asked to be a part of. Six o'clock could not come soon enough.

As promised, Zoe sat patiently in the hospital lobby. She stood up and followed him outside. They walked to a nearby café and sat down.

"Does your husband know you're here?"

"Milos isn't here right now. He's in Edison making a sales call."

"Sales call? Isn't he an investment banker?"

"He was. His firm was one of the biggest in the city. One day, he took a massive hit when he invested millions in a company whose stock tanked heavily. He lost his job and we lost everything -- the house, the cars, the portfolio... literally everything. He has been making sales calls for local businesses since."

Zoe looked at him and then at her cup.

"The first few months were like living in the clouds. We got married in Monaco and had our honeymoon in Milan. Every day was a new adventure. He took me to Key West, St Moritz and Tallinn in the same week."

"Sounds like your dream," Ethan said, taking a sip of his espresso. Zoe smiled at her ruminations.

"You probably won't believe me when I say that even in those days, I thought of you all the time. I thought of nothing but the hurt I caused you. It was so unfair. Sometimes I wished I could undo what I did, but I was too scared to try."

"What happened to him after the crash?"

"Milos took it hard. He began drinking everyday. Whatever money I earned was too little to keep up his accustomed lifestyle. We sold our house to pay off his debts and moved to a rundown place in the projects. It was all we could afford."

"Is that when he started...?" Ethan asked, pointing to her face. Zoe nodded ruefully.

"At first it was out of frustration because he couldn't land a steady job. Then it was because there was nothing more to drink. Then it was because he bet on the wrong horse. He needed an excuse. I am his most convenient target."

"Despite all of that, you won't press charges or leave him?"

"No," she wailed. "He's my husband. I promised to be by his side until death do us apart."

"I think you may be taking that part too seriously this time," he replied glibly. "After all you made the same vows to me and had no problems taking them out with the trash."

"Please don't say it like that. For ten years, you have had nothing but my undivided and utmost love. If that meant anything to you, please don't."

Ethan quietly busied himself in his coffee.

"Milos is all I have. I can't leave him."

"You also have..." he began immediately, stopping before he could complete the sentence. Zoe's eyes snapped up at his eyes and looked at him with that same piercing stare that made his heart race.