Lisa Ch. 05b: Only Human cont

"Daren?" he asked, everything suddenly making sense. There had been a man in another clan who had felt so guilty about a job that had gone horribly wrong ... killing several children ... some babies ... that he'd completely wigged out. He refused to work ... just sat in a corner for a few days. And then he began donating money. All of his money to orphanages, children's hospitals, foreign aid services.

After a few months of this his money ran out ... and then so did his life. He'd ended it with a bullet to his temple. Scott had never put two and two together ... mostly because he didn't really know Daren ... or care about his death. He whipped his eyes to Josh. He definitely cared about Josh ...

"Jim's right Jess." Scott said, trying not to sound too melodramatic, or worried. "Give him what he needs."

Jessica looked at Josh. He looked like he needed a hug.

Jessica went to him and buried her head in his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. But even in that there was something different. This was just a hug. A strong, protective hug. He didn't run his hands along her body, try to press himself against her ... accidently brush her breast. He just hugged her. And he wasn't letting go.

"Okay Josh, please let me go." Jessica said, and in a flash, his arms fell away.

"This could take some getting used to ..." Scott muttered.

"You're telling me ..." Jessica muttered back.

"How did things go with Sean?" Jim asked, eager to change the subject.

"Great!" Scott replied. "Did you tell Jessica?"

"Nope ... this' your baby ..."

Jessica looked back and forth between Jim and Scott. They were happy, excited. She was beginning to worry that they'd cracked too.

"I've got something to tell you ... sit down." He said indicating the sofa ... and again Josh swooped in and before Jessica knew it she was on the sofa and Scott sat beside her.

"That's going to be a problem ..." Scott muttered, looking at Josh standing ... hovering beside Jessica.

"Josh," Jessica said ... sounding nervous, "sit down please." Josh sat beside her immediately.

"Okay," Scott began again, glancing at Jim, who'd plopped himself on the recliner. "I've decided to enter Ebony into the races at the track."

Jessica squealed with delight. She bounced up and down, clapping her hands. And beside her, Josh smiled even more.

"My meeting the other day was with some clients who want Ebony to sire a colt with their mare. That's planned in a week, and then after that, he'll race. I was just meeting with some guys from the clan ... they're going to get together all the paperwork ... and ... " Scott paused. This was it, the biggest decision they'd made so far. It was either going to work out incredibly well ... or be the end of them. Literally.

"You're going to be my rider."

Jessica froze. She wasn't sure she'd heard him correctly but she was afraid to ask. Seconds ticked by, Jessica just stared at Scott.

"Breathe Jessica!" Josh said from beside her ... shaking her arm.

Jessica inhaled. "Me? Did you say me? I'm going to go to the track to ride Ebony ... for you?"

"Yup!" Scott said clearly excited also.

"But we haven't run Ebony yet ... haven't timed him ..."

"I know, I know. We will, but I'm certain he's the fastest horse we have ..."

A squeal pierced the room and Jessica launched herself at Scott.

She hugged him, she kissed him, she jumped up and down on him. She couldn't believe it. Scott laughed between kisses ... he could barely keep up with her. The next thing Scott knew, he and Jessica had fallen off the sofa ... her beneath him. He was about to lift himself off of her when he felt two hands grab him by his arms and yank him up. And then Josh was lifting Jessica to her feet.

"You were hurting her." He said to Scott in a calm, matter of fact tone.

"It was okay ..." Jessica said quickly ... "I was fine ... but thanks."

"Yeah ... thanks." Scott said and glanced over at Jim. Jim seemed perplexed.

"Should we go time Ebony now?" Jessica asked quickly back in the excitement. "I have my riding boots on already ..."

"Sure ..." Scott answered, and nearly got bowled over as Josh moved to keep step with Jessica.

"What are we going to do about him?" Scott asked Jim as they watched Josh disappear through the door behind Jessica. "When Riley and Angus get back ... it won't be good."

"I know." Jim said. "I'll think of something."

"We only have two nights left ..."

"I'm painfully aware of that. I'm not really sure how Jessica's going to act when they get back, much less Josh. But, maybe this will be a good thing." Jim said as he and Scott followed Josh and Jessica out to the barn.

"How do you figure?"

"If Josh is all weird ... then it'll take the focus off of Jessica. In fact, it could explain anything odd in her behavior."

"Yup." Scott said without breaking stride. "That Jimbo, is why you're the brains of this operation ..." and he disappeared into the barn, leaving Jimmy looking after him. Suddenly Jim felt his shoulders sag. With those simple words, Scott had made Jim realize the enormity of what he was doing. He was throwing a silent coup. Not to usurp Riley, but to make Riley run things the way that he, Jim, would run things. He'd managed to bring Jessica, Scott, and Josh on board ... maybe Josh a little more than was necessary. But if he didn't play this right. If he miscalculated anything when it came to Riley and Angus ... everything would be lost. He pushed the worry from his mind as he watched Jessica lead Ebony out of the barn ... Josh, never breaking stride beside her.

Things would work out.

Things had to work out.

**************************************************************

Jessica closed the book and looked around the room. She was startled when she saw Josh standing off to the side, hands behind his back, watching her. She hadn't heard him return from his shower and had been too engrossed in the book to notice how much time had gone by. She looked at her side table ... wondering if perhaps there was a magazine waiting for her that she'd missed earlier, but the table was empty. Josh was smiling at her, and when she smiled back, expecting him to come to the bed, he didn't move.

"Are you coming to bed?" she asked, throwing back the covers on his side of the bed.

"Do you want me to?" he asked, for the thousandth time that day.

"Yes ..." Jessica replied and began to feel despair wash over her as she realized that Josh's behavior during the day was continuing into the night ... into the bedroom. Josh moved quickly to the bed and climbed under the blanket. But rather than pull her to him, he kept a distance and sat with his hands on top of the blankets. Jessica remembered what Jim had said. How Josh needed this. And Jim didn't even know the whole story ... Jessica sighed. "Josh ... where's our comic book?"

"In my drawer." He replied.

"I want to see it." She answered, knowing at this point that any other statement would lead to the same question, "do you want me to?".

Josh reached into the drawer and handed Jessica papers that constituted the work he was doing.

"Did you add any more to the story?"

"Yes ... here ..." he said turning the pages toward the back, and handing it back to her. Jessica read the addition ... and then she read it again.

"Josh, you didn't add any of the sex scenes ..."

"No ..." he said quietly.

"Why not?'

"I tried to ..." he answered. "But it just seemed so ... lurid. It didn't feel like it reflected the love Prince AushoJ feels for Princess Acissej."

"Or the love the Princess feels for the Prince?" Jessica asked. Josh nodded, but hesitantly.

"The Princess does love the Prince." Jessica said closing the comic, and moving closer to Josh, putting her hand on his chest. "You do know that, right?"

"Yes." Josh said quietly.

"Josh. Do you want to have sex with me?" Jessica asked.

"Do you want me to?" he asked, but only after a flicker of what looked like remorse flitted across his face.

"I asked if you wanted to have sex with me. I want to know if you do ... it is in no way related to whether I do or not. And, I want the truth."

Josh paused for a moment. "No. No I don't." He said quietly.

"Do you want to hug me? ... I want to know if you want to hug me?" Jessica added before he launched into his question.

"Yes."

Jessica snuggled into his side, lay her head on his chest, but Josh didn't move.

"I want you to hug me ..." Jessica said. Josh wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him ... bringing his chin onto the top of her head.

"Josh ..." she said settling in, "I want you to finish your comic. And I want you to finish it the way you'd originally planned. It should be published. You're very talented. Did you hear me?" she asked when he'd made no response.

"Yes." He said.

"Good night Josh." She said, with a yawn. Josh flicked off the lights.

"Jessica," he said after a few moments.

"Mhmmm?"

"Can I ... would you mind, if once you fell to sleep I moved to the floor? I can't sleep in the bed with you."

Jessica looked into the dark. Obviously he had lied to her. If he didn't want to have sex with her, he wouldn't have any problems sleeping with her. But she didn't care about that. She just wanted him to get better. Back to normal. Whatever it took.

"Okay." Jessica said.

"But ..." he said after a few moments of silence. "Do you want me to move to the floor?"

"I want what you want." Jessica said. "I'm going to sleep now Josh and it's your call as to whether you're here beside me in the morning or not. I want you to be happy. That'll make me happy."

"But ..." Josh's voice sounded strained.

"No buts ... it's what I want." Jessica said wondering what exactly he wanted to hear from her. Did he want her to want him to sleep with her? Or did he want her to want him to sleep on the floor? Her head was beginning to hurt and despite all the exciting things that had happened during the day ... like riding Ebony ... feeling the speed beneath her ... knowing she'd actually be racing him at a real track in a few weeks ... despite all of that, she was looking forward to the blissful peace of sleep. And maybe, maybe, Josh would be back to normal in the morning.

*****************************************************************

Jessica had awaken to find Josh sleeping on the floor. When he realized that she was awake, he'd gotten up, and turned his back to her as she'd dressed. When she'd asked him why he was turned away he'd replied that he was giving her privacy. She hadn't lingered on the irony of it all. Everything he was giving her ... space, privacy, control, she would have loved to have had when she was first kidnapped, but now all of these things only worried her and she wished he'd go back to being his old self.

And then in the kitchen, Jessica had given up on even trying to cook. Josh was there at every moment ... helping her with this and that. Finally she'd gone to sit with Scott and Jim at the table and let Josh finishing cooking on his own.

"This is going to be interesting ..." Scott said, more than once.

"Thank God he can't get up into that saddle with you ..." Jim mumbled to Jessica as he contemplated the plans for the day. They were going to go work with Ebony some more in the field.

"Shhh!" Jessica hissed, "Don't give him any ideas! And Jim, what are we going to do tomorrow? Riley and Angus ... I don't think ... are they going to hurt him?"

"They won't hurt him ..." Jim said, and then realized that wasn't something he could promise. "At least I don't think they will."

"We have to talk to him Jim." Scott said, watching Josh balance the plates on his forearm and move toward the table. "He has to ... tone it down when they're around. Otherwise, Angus is going to knock his block off."

"Thanks Josh." Jessica said as he placed her plate in front of her first, with a wide smile ... and then handed Scott and Jim their plates.

"Josh," Jim said when he sat down at the table also. "We have to talk."

Josh looked up at Jim, but his eyes kept sliding over to Jessica. Jessica sighed.

"Josh, I want you to listen to Jim. It's important."

"Okay," Josh said and gave Jim his undivided attention. For all of two seconds. Then his eyes were shifting over to Jessica again.

"Jess, you're going to have to tell him. You're the only one he's listening to right now."

"Tell him what?" Jessica asked in desperation.

"Tell him that when Angus and Riley come home, he can't be yanking them off of you. He can't protect you from them."

Jim's voice began to fade as he realized that the same applied to him and Scott.

"Great ..." Scott said, realizing the same thing.

"Okay ... okay." Jessica said and leaned closer to Josh.

"Josh ... " As he turned his big brown eyes on her, Jessica felt like she should scratch his belly and toss him a doggie treat.

He looked so devoted.

So stupidly devoted.

"I want you to listen to me. When Angus and Riley come home, I want you to leave them alone. Do you understand? They can touch me whatever way they want ..." she paused long enough to gulp. The reality of what was coming the following day sinking in. "You have to stay out of their way, okay? Do you understand?"

A frown had spread across Josh's face and it was evident that he understood, and that he didn't like it. Neither did Jim or Scott. It was going to be a long, hard day.

"Josh, did you understand what I said?"

"But I can't let them hit you." Josh replied.

Jessica exhaled. She could see by the looks on Scott and Jim's face that they had no intention of letting that happen either. Eventually she nodded, "That's different. What I mean is just general touching. You can't always be between me and them. Okay?" Jessica said urgently. Sudden images of Riley or Angus, or both, shooting Josh causing her to panic.

"I don't know if I can ..." Josh said.

"You can, and you will. This is important Josh. You're not going to convince them to change if they're mad at you and especially not if their mad at me."

Josh nodded but he looked even more broken than he had the day before. Jessica hadn't thought that possible. She thought about Jim's advice to give Josh what he needed. It appeared that what he needed was to feel like he was protecting her before protecting her became impossible. This was the last day he could do that before Riley and Angus were home and despite how much she wanted to ride Ebony she knew she had to devote the day to Josh. She looked over at Scott, who looked like he was sharing Josh's hell with him. "Sorry Scott, but I'm not going to be able to run Ebony today."

"Huh?" Scott asked, but Jessica looked back at Josh.

"How about today is our day." Jessica said, reaching out and taking Josh's hand. "You and I can spend it together ... you can protect me from everything ... okay? Today, that's all we'll do. But tomorrow, tomorrow Josh, and every day that Riley and Angus are here, you have to stay away from me. Got it?"

Josh was nodding but he didn't seem any happier.

"Sorry." Jessica said to Scott again.

"It's okay. There'll be plenty of time to ride Ebony."

"We'll be outside, working." Jim said when they were finished their food.

Before Jessica stood up, Josh was pulling the chair out for her. He trailed her to the sofa ... whisking her up and onto his lap before she could sit. This time he didn't ask, he just clutched her to him. They sat for quite a while like that ... Jessica rubbing his arm. After a while Jessica felt like she had to move ... like Josh had to move.

"I want to go outside." She said. Josh nodded and trailed her to the door.

That evening they sat eating dinner. Josh had cooked again, and now he ate one handed, as Jessica sat on his lap, eating.

Scott was watching the two of them and slowly chewing his food.

"You do realize ..." he began to say to Josh ... but changed his mind. "Jess, he does realize that tonight is my night with you, right? He's not going to follow us into the bedroom ..."

"He knows ..." Jessica said but not with a great deal of confidence. "I'll explain it to him ..."

"Shhh!" Jim hissed suddenly. Everyone froze, and listened. A car had pulled up in the driveway.

"Shit, are they home already?" Scott demanded.

Jim and Scott crouched over as they ran over to the window. Josh had picked Jessica up and moved down the hallway with her.

"That's not them ... " Jim growled.

He slipped over to the gun rack, threw a gun to Scott and took his own over to the door.

"For the love of all that's sane!" Scott spat, "it's fucking Sean and Corey!"

"What?" Jim asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah ... positive!" Jim threw open the door and leveled the gun on two figures he immediately recognized.

"What the hell are you doing here? Are you out of your fucking minds?" he demanded, while signaling them in with the rifle.

"That's quite the reception ..." Sean was saying. "We just brought over the paper work Scott had asked for, and ... hey Josh ..." he said in the direction of the hallway.

Scott and Jim looked over.

Josh was hesitating near the entrance of the hallway.

"And there she is ..." Sean said, " we came to see who this amazing horse rider was ... wanted to meet the person we were phonying papers up for ..."

Josh looked behind him. He had told Jessica to stay in his room, but too curious, she had followed him out. Josh groaned, and then hovered protectively in front of her.

"Well?" Corey asked. "Are you going to introduce her or not?"

"You know you shouldn't be here, right?" Jim asked ... pleased to see them despite himself. He missed having friends around.

"Of course ... but 'they'," Corey said, rolling his eyes, "won't be home till tomorrow. We figured it couldn't hurt ... right?"

"Right." Scott said exhaling.

He too was glad to see Sean and Corey again.

"Come on in ... have a beer. Josh, she's in no immediate danger."

"I want to meet them ..." Jessica whispered behind Josh, so low only he could hear it. Josh stepped aside and Jessica moved forward.

"Corey, Sean, this is Jessica ... Jessica, Corey and Sean." Jim said.

"Hi Jessica, it's a pleasure to meet you." Sean said, eyeing Josh as he hovered near Jessica.

"Same here ..." Jessica said. They all sat at the table.

The men drinking beer, Jessica wine.

All of them except Josh. He stood still as a statue behind Jessica's chair. And he kept glaring at Sean and Corey as if he expected them to swallow Jessica up.

They discussed the details of the track and how they were going to get Ebony and Jessica into the race. They discussed the date ... a few weeks away, when they knew Riley and Angus would be on another mission. The whole time, Corey and Sean would shoot furtive glances at Josh. Eventually the topic came to music somehow and Jessica was pleased to hear that Sean and Corey both played instruments as well as some others in their clan. And it started to sound to Jessica like plans were being made to see them more often. Which made her happy ... but she was becoming uncomfortable with Josh hovering behind her ... Sean and Corey obviously unsure as to what the he was doing. Finally Jessica stood up.

"I hope you don't mind, but it's been a really busy day. Josh and I are going to call it a night. It was nice to meet you ..." and when Sean and Corey got up, Jessica avoided Scott's furrowed brow and led Josh back to his room.

About an hour later there was a knock on Josh's door.

"Come in." he said.

Scott opened the door to find Jessica asleep on Josh's bed, curled up against him.

"She fell to sleep." Josh said.

"I can see that." Scott replied, oddly not as annoyed as he thought he should have felt. Josh sat up, scooping Jessica's sleeping form into his arms, he stood.