Lisa Ch. 05b: Only Human cont

"I can take it from here Josh." Scott said quietly. Josh, reluctantly, passed her to Scott.

"Get some sleep buddy." Scott said. "And remember what she said about tomorrow ... it's important."

"Yes, I know." Josh said.

"Good night." When Scott turned to pull the door shut behind him, Josh was still standing there ... watching him.

Scott lowered Jessica onto his bed, and looked at her. Well, so much for his plans for the night. That was okay, he reasoned. Even though he'd have to wait four more nights before getting her to himself so many other good things had happened over the past week that he could sacrifice one night. Things were set-up for the race. And with the exception of the minor issue with Josh ... which he had to admit was worrying him quite a bit ... Jessica was happy. Scott turned off the lights, removed his clothes, and crawled under the blankets next to Jessica. He pulled her to him ... as he'd expected, she was down for the night. She'd barely registered his presence. He closed his eyes and tried hard not to think about the coming day. For the first time in years, he was a bundle of nerves. He didn't like that feeling.

***********************************************************

The next morning, Scott got his sex time in. Jessica more accommodating than she'd ever been. He strongly suspected that it had to do with the track ... but he didn't mind. When they were done, Scott pulled the bedroom door open, Jessica behind him, and cursed.

"For the love of ... what the fuck Josh, have you been out there all night?"

Jessica peered out from behind Scott. Josh was leaning on the wall, right leg bent against it, and he looked hideously tired. He ignored Scott, his eyes scanning the space around him and when he saw Jessica his eyes locked on hers, and he pushed himself from the wall.

"Josh, I was fine, you didn't need to be out here all night." Jessica said concerned by how exhausted he looked.

"I just needed to be near you." Josh said, "Since I won't be able to be when Angus and Riley come home."

Jessica looked to Scott. "He has to go to bed."

Scott nodded, "Take him ... I'll meet you for breakfast."

"Come on Josh." Jessica said, taking his hand. She led him to his room, made him lie down and put a blanket on him.

"I'm not tired ..." he kept insisting.

"Yeah, well, I want you to sleep." Jessica said and almost laughed when he got trapped by his own rules. He was about to protest, but snapped his mouth shut instead.

"I want you to close your eyes ..." Jessica said. For a minute she thought he'd refuse, but then he closed them, and within minutes he was snoring.

Jessica snuck out of his room and took a shower. She did everything in fast motion, not entirely sure when Angus and Riley would be home. She wanted to be with Jim or Scott when they did.

"Is he asleep?" Jim asked when she sat down at the table for breakfast.

"Yup."

"It's probably better if you stay inside today ... maybe read or something. Who knows when they'll get home."

"Okay." Jessica said. She was being brave ... trying hard to not let her voice waver, but they heard it anyway.

"Do you want to stay too, or should I?" Scott asked Jim.

"Go ahead, I'll stay." Jim said.

Scott downed the last of his coffee and after planting a kiss on Jessica, headed out the door.

"Go get a book." Jim said, smiling with as much reassurance as he could muster.

Jessica returned moment later with a novel ... and they moved to the sofa. Jim pulled Jessica against him.

"Your hearts going a hundred miles an hour." He said, feeling the pounding through her ribcage.

"Jim. What's the plan for Josh? With Riley and Angus?"

"He'll be okay." Jim said, "In fact his little wig out may be just the diversion we need to keep them from paying too much attention to you."

"But what if it doesn't work?" Jessica asked. "What if they just get rid of him?"

Jim could tell from the tone of her voice exactly what Jessica meant by 'get rid of'. He was about to reassure her that it would never happen, when he suddenly realized that in fact it could. Not that Riley and Angus would kill him. But they could ship him off with the rest of the clan for a while ... or even worse, they could decide to swap him out to work in the field and either Angus or Riley would stay behind. And God ... what if they decided that Jessica had done something to him. What would they do to her? Suddenly the entire plan was wrong. Dangerously wrong. Could Jessica and Josh act normal?

"You're right Jessica. Everything has to appear normal. With one exception. You have to be incredibly well behaved ... everything Riley and Angus have ever wanted ..."

Jessica was nodding. "I think so too."

"It's ironic." Jim said.

"What is?"

"Here we all thought that you'd be the one to break ... to freak out. Yet, you shoot a few dogs, meet some outsiders, and don't bat an eyelash. Josh on the other hand goes completely mental."

"He's pretty upset." Jessica said, once again glad that Jim didn't know about Paula.

"Yeah, I'd be too if I'd raped you." Jim said. "Sit tight for a minute, 'k?" he asked getting up. "I gotta go to the bathroom."

He had heard a noise at the back of the house and figured it was probably Josh getting up. He moved down the hallway, and sure enough Josh was on his way out of his room, looking like he'd lost his best friend.

"Josh." Jim said.

"Where is she Jim?" Josh said, barely looking at him, ready to sidestep him.

"She's reading in the living room. But you have to stop and listen to me ..." Jim said putting his arm out to block Josh's path. Josh tried to barrel through it, but Jim shoved him back against the wall, pinning him against it.

"Listen very carefully Josh, because if you don't you're going to be the reason Jessica gets hurt." That got his attention. His eyes snapped to Jim's and the muscles in his neck, arms, clenched jaw, began to bulge as he fought back against him. "It'll be you Josh, you. If for any reason Riley and Angus think she's done something to you they're going to hurt her. Think about it. Angus with his beatings, and lord knows what else, Riley with his belt. She will be punished for your attempts to help her. Think Josh, think!"

Slowly Josh stopped fighting Jim. "What should I do then?" Josh asked.

"Act normal Josh. Just be like you used to be. Jessica told you herself that she wanted that. She didn't want you to protect her against them. If you fail in this ... she's going to try to protect you too. And how do you think that would end? Even if that extreme doesn't happen, Riley and Angus are likely to change things up if they get suspicious or worried. They could easily send one of us out in the field ... bring our kill count up. Jessica would love that ..."

"Okay, okay!" Josh said. "I'll act normal. But Jim. What if things don't get better with Riley and Angus? What if they keep hurting Jessica?"

"I don't know." Jim said. He hadn't doubted that they would change. He'd just taken for granted that things would work out ... eventually.

"I can't let that happen Jim. And I don't think you or Scott can either."

"What are you saying?" Jim asked.

"I'm saying that if they abuse her ... and they don't stop, soon. I think we should leave, with Jessica."

"What?" Jim whispered, taken by surprise. Never had he contemplated anything like this. But Josh was right.

"They'd come after us." Jim said. "They'd never let us just disappear."

"Then we'll have to fight them."

"They won't stop Josh. You know that. They'll hunt us down." Jim said knowing from past experience what Riley and Angus were capable of when it came to exacting revenge.

"Then we'll have to kill them." Josh said.

Jim took a step back. He was so shocked, taken aback, he felt faint. As he played Josh's words over in his mind, he was relieved to realize that Josh had sounded pained by the idea. He didn't relish it, but said it as a matter of fact.

"Josh. Not even five days ago you were just the same as Riley and Angus. We all were. And now ... now, you want to leave them? Maybe even kill them?"

"Yes. I was like them. And so was Scott. But you weren't Jimmy. You've been trying to get us to see Jessica differently for ages. And you were right. I wish I'd seen it sooner, but I hadn't. And, I was much worse to her then you were. Now I have to make up for it. And you have to live up to being the man Jessica has trusted and fallen in love with."

"Josh. I think we should put this on the back burner for now. And you should think about it long and hard. Riley and Angus are our family ... and Jessica is our family. I could have taken off with her myself, ages ago. But if I had, would you feel about her the way you do right now? It took a long time, but look where you, Scott, Jessica and I are right now. Riley and Angus can get there too. But we have to lead them there. Do you know what I'm saying?"

Josh held Jim's gaze for a long time before he nodded.

"I'll be normal when they get home. And I'll leave the final decision to you. But please, please Jim ... don't let them hurt her more than they already have."

Jim nodded, and Josh slipped by him, moving down the hall to the living room.

Jim stood staring after him for a very long time. He felt like he'd been kicked in the nuts. Extra pressure now to get Riley and Angus on board, sooner rather than later. That was fair. It was only fair to Jessica. And then he had the thought he wished he hadn't. What if he had let Jessica down by not running away with her earlier? What if it was because of him that she'd suffered needlessly? Jim shrugged. There was no what if about it. He had. And now the question was, how much more suffering would he be willing to put her through? He shook his head. The best he could do for now was go one day at a time.

He'd consult with Scott, get his take on things. He felt a knot of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. This was the first time that he could ever remember that he dreaded Riley and Angus' return.

Jim went back out into the living room. Josh had wasted no time taking his place on the sofa with Jessica. She was sitting up facing him. Touching his face while she was talking quietly, earnestly. Josh was nodding. Jim wanted a drink very badly. Something strong ... but he didn't want to dull his senses. He settled onto a chair near the table and watched Jessica and Josh. They looked so intimate. Jim could tell by the tilt of Josh's head that he was pressing his cheek into Jessica's hand. After watching them for a few minutes he began to be curious about what they could be talking about that required so much intensity. He had to go out and update Scott on the new plan anyway. He decided to pass by them on the way out and hopefully overhear the conversation. He tried to act nonchalant but there was no point. Neither one of them noticed him. As he walked by he heard Josh say,

"And what's your favorite color?" and Jessica replied, "Green ... emerald green."

And without missing a beat Josh said, "And your favorite number?"

Jim rolled his eyes and stared in disbelief. This was what was so riveting?

'Whatever!' he grumbled to himself as he went out to the barn.

"Not riding today?" Jim asked when he found Scott cleaning a saddle in the barn.

"No. Don't want to waste my time unsaddling when they get home."

"There's been a change of plans. We're not going to count on Josh's break down to distract Riley and Angus." Jim said leaning against a post.

"What? Why?" Scott demanded.

"Jessica pointed out that Riley and Angus may not take too well to Josh's little derailment. Who knows what they'd do ... but I'm willing to bet he'd end-up in the field and one of them would be here with us in his place."

"Fucking shit ... so what're we going to do?"

"Josh says he can be normal."

"Right ... normal. Okay." Scott said with a shrug.

"And, he suggested that if it takes too long for them to come around with Jessica ... or they're too abusive, we should take Jessica and go. And I suggested that Riley and Angus would find us. And he suggested that the only option then would be to kill them."

"Interesting ..." Scott said and he seemed to be contemplating the options.

"For crying out ... Scott you're not supposed to agree! Do you seriously think this is something we should consider?"

"Leaving yes ... killing, no. Leaving is an option. One I hadn't even considered before ... but it has its appeal."

"So we set a deadline? A month, a week, a day ... and then we go?"

"I don't know about the deadline ... but I can tell you this for sure. If either Riley or Angus hit Jessica, even once, we're out of here." Scott replied.

Jim nodded.

"Are you done out here?" Jim asked. "I need you inside. Jessica and Josh are in there fawning over each other like a couple of love starved teens and it's making me sick. I need company."

"Sure." Scott said. "I can't concentrate anyway."

Scott and Jim walked in the door to find Josh laughing so hard that he was rolling on the floor. Jessica sat on the sofa laughing equally hard ... tears rolling down her cheeks.

"What's so funny?" Jim asked as he took a seat on the sofa next to Jessica. Josh pointed at Jessica and looked like he was trying to say something but fits of laughter just kept pouring out. Jessica couldn't catch her breath much less talk.

"Great, he's gone into hysterics." Scott said dropping into the arm chair ... and that brought on a new wave of laughter.

"It's not just him ... it's both of them. We'll give them a few more minutes and then we get a bucket of freezing cold water ... and toss it on them." Jim said raising his voice, hoping the threat would reduce their laughing enough for them to explain themselves. But it didn't. After a few more minutes of watching them ... Jimmy suddenly got the urge to laugh too. He didn't know why ... they just looked so funny. And as he began to laugh he looked at Scott, who had already been developing a pretty big smile. Before long, they were laughing just as hard as Josh and Jessica.

"Must've been a hell of a joke ..." Riley said.

He and Angus stood just inside the door, holding their duffle bags.

Jessica, Josh, Scott and Jim looked over in unison ... and the laughter began to die down ... but not completely.

Riley watched Josh silently roll on the floor, and Jessica press her lips against the thigh of her bent leg and realized that they'd just turned the volume down, not stopped laughing.

Scott and Jim had stopped entirely, eyeing Josh and Jessica and shaking their heads.

"Must've been." Jim agreed, getting up and holding his hand out in a silent invitation to take Riley's bag for him.

Scott did the same for Angus.

"You weren't in on it?" Angus asked, watching Jessica struggle to control her laughter. It was good to see her. Despite the apprehension he had about the dreams he'd been having ... all about her ... all sexual ... yet with emotional attachment, he was glad to be home, with her.

"No, it seems to be Josh and Jessica's own private joke." Scott said while heading for Angus' room with his duffle bag.

"You were laughing pretty hard yourselves." Angus observed, handing Jim his bag.

"Yeah, well, they looked pretty funny." Jim replied and headed to Riley's room with the bag.

Riley and Angus shuffled into the living room. They had been away before but since Jessica had been with them it had never been for as long as they'd just been gone. Never more than a day or two ... not a whole week. They felt a little like strangers. Josh struggled to his feet, still laughing. Jessica got up from the sofa, and still stifling laughter she went to Riley and pecked him on the lips.

"Hi." She said, "I hope you had a good trip?"

"Yeah, it was good ..." Riley said watching in pleasant surprise as Jessica moved to Angus and kissed him also. But as usual she was not going to get away from Angus that quickly. He held her by her upper arms, so she couldn't move away.

"I'd like a real kiss." He said in a low guttural tone. He'd won the straw draw with Riley about who would get Jessica that night and he'd been certain that he could control himself until 10 o'clock. Lord knew he'd whacked off enough to make some semblance of control an attainable goal. But now that she was really there, within his reach, looking so ... beautiful ... laughing really did something for her, he didn't think he could hold off.

"Angus!" Jim yelled when he returned from the bedroom and saw him grasping Jessica.

"What?" Angus demanded, startled.

"What're you doing?" Scott demanded appearing in the hallway just after Jim.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting my kiss!" And with that Angus pulled Jessica hard against him, planting his lips on hers ... moving his hand to the back of her head, lacing his fingers in her hair and holding it firmly in place as his tongue maneuvered between her lips and probed every part of her mouth.

"Angus!" Jim said again and started moving forward. Angus felt Jessica tense for a moment and then soften ... melt into him ... kiss him back. He was so surprised that he pulled her away from him and stared at her.

"That was more like it!" he exclaimed. He looked like he was going to pull her in for another kiss, but Jessica planted her hands on his chest.

"Could I get you a beer? Angus? Riley?" she asked quickly.

"Ah, okay." Riley replied, noticeably caught off guard.

"Angus?" Jessica asked , when he hadn't let go of her, or answered the question.

"You're going to get us a beer?" Angus asked slowly, as if he didn't understand the question even though he'd asked it.

"Yes, but you have to let her go first!" Scott all but snapped. He'd moved closer to Angus, just like Jim had and they both stood waiting, ready to physically pull Jessica away from him.

"Do you think?" Angus asked, turning his grey eyes onto Scott, anger reflected in them, but he dropped his hands from Jessica. She turned to go the kitchen. Jim saw her dart her eyes over to Scott, and then she brought them to him before she flicked them over to Josh. The irony wasn't lost on Jim ... and it didn't seem to be lost on Scott either by the look he threw at Jim. Josh, the mentally cracked one, was silently and obediently standing off to the side, not interfering ... and then Jim and Scott who were supposed to have it together, seemed to be losing it.

But it was likely the same for Scott as it was for Jim ... he had no control over it. He didn't even know he was going to yell at Angus until he was surprised by his own voice. All he knew was that for that second when he came down the hall and saw Angus clutching Jessica, he thought Angus was on his way to beating her ... or coercing her into something worse than a kiss.

Josh followed Jessica to the kitchen and helped her get two beer out of the fridge and open them.

"Do you want one?" Jessica asked Josh. He shook his head.

"Jim and Scott, beer?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah sure." Scott said, hoping it would take the edge off ... Jim declined. He needed his wits about him. Josh took a third beer out and motioned Jessica to deliver her two beer to Scott and Riley. He brought Angus his beer. Jessica couldn't deny being relieved to not have to go near Angus again.

"Thanks." Riley said taking the beer from Jessica. "Hey," he added, reaching up to grab Jessica's chin. He turned her face from one side to the other, studying it. "do you have a tan?"

"Son of a bitch!" Scott swore under his breath. Was it possible that she had a tan? Of course ... she'd been outside with them so often the past week. It was so gradual that they hadn't noticed.

"She may." Jim answered, trying to sound casual.

"And how would that be?" Riley asked.

"We had her out doing chores with us." Jim said.