Lisa Ch. 09a

"What the hell has gotten into you?" Leah asked pushing away from him.

"What do you mean?" Corey asked.

"I mean, you've been all over me, all morning. Talking about food, hugging me, following me around. What's going on?" Leah said.

"You too?" Justine asked and eyed Chris and Mark, both of whom were holding her hands.

"Seriously." Amanda said when Don and Caleb stood caressing each of her hands in both of theirs.

"What's going on?" Sara demanded from Sean.

"Well... Jessica was worried that you may resent her because we worry more about her then you." Quinn said.

"Of course she did." Leah said, "Unbelievable."

"And she's worried that you may be sick, if you don't eat. Or eat and throw up." Caleb added.

"I don't do that." Leah said.

"Me neither." Justine and Sara said in unison.

"I'm not sick." Amanda, "It's a diet. Seriously! And you know Jessica. She worries about things that don't need to be worried about. I don't resent her. I feel about her just like you do." She added looking around at the men. "And we," she said indicating Leah, Sara and Justine, "worry about her just as much as you do."

"But we'll talk to her about it." Justine said, "Or she'll worry about it too much."

"Jessica wants all of you girls to get a physical by Doc." Riley said.

Sara sighed. "I know, Sean already mentioned that. That's fine with me. Better safe than sorry, really."

"Why do I need to see Doc?" Amanda said, "I already said I wasn't sick."

"If you're not sick then there's no problem getting checked out." Quinn said.

"Besides, Doc said women are supposed to have annual exams." Corey said.

"So are men." Leah replied. "If we get an exam, so do you. All of you."

"Fine." Corey said.

"Amanda?" Jim asked.

"Fine." Amanda snapped, her arms were crossed over her chest. "But I think we should get back to worrying about Jessica and leave us out of it."

"Okay. If you're sure you're happy with the way things are." Don said.

"Ecstatic." Amanda said.

"So back to my original question." Leah said, "Is letting Jessica starve herself all day a good idea?"

"None of us know what her normal eating habits are." Angus said. "Let's just see what she does when she's left alone."

"If we go along with this." Abe said, "Sean and I get to feed her the way we want tomorrow, even if it means tying her to a chair all day. We get to do what we need to until we feel satisfied. Deal?"

"Okay." Angus agreed, the other men nodding.

"Do beverages count?" Jim asked, "I always get her a coffee in the morning."

"Let's just worry about food." Riley said just as Jessica came out of the bedroom.

"Coffee?" Jim asked after Jessica greeted everyone.

"Yes please." Jessica said. "What are we going to do today?"

"You mean after breakfast?" Amanda asked having stacked a plate full of food and coming to sit on the sofa next to Jessica.

"Um, yes." Jessica said watching Amanda shovel food into her mouth. "Thanks." She said to Jim when he brought her a cup of coffee and sat down beside her. Jessica watched Amanda for a few minutes and rather than look relieved that she was eating, she looked concerned.

"I'm eating..." Amanda said to Jessica, "see? Not starving myself..."

"And you're not going to puke it up after either, right?" Quinn said rolling his eyes toward Jessica when Amanda looked at him.

"No... right. Keeping it all

down. Honest."

That seemed to satisfy Jessica and she leaned back against Jim and drank her coffee.

"I was thinking," Jessica said, "that we should take the boys to that human circus this afternoon."

"Good idea." Josh said, "They'll like that."

"And this morning I thought we could go to the Louvre." Leah said. "They have some special exhibits on."

Everyone agreed. Jessica drained her coffee and stood up.

"More coffee?" she asked Jim.

"Thanks." He handed her his cup and watched Jessica go to the coffee urn that was right next to the food trolley. Jessica poured the coffees and eyed the food. Picking up a piece of cheese she took a bite, looked at it with a wrinkled nose and surprised expression, and threw it away. She scanned the food again, picked up a grape, ate it, looked unimpressed, shrugged her shoulders and picked up the coffee cups.

"You said you wanted more, right?" Jessica asked Jim, misunderstanding the look of disappointment on his face.

"Right, thanks." He said taking the cup, wrapping his arm around her when she settled against him again and exchanging unhappy glances with the other men.

"Shouldn't we go?" Jessica asked when the adults lingered over breakfast for too long hoping Jessica would eat something. "We're running out of time."

"Right. Okay." Riley said and they left for the Louvre.

The rest of the day went the same way. Jessica would try some food, make a face and push it away. By the time Angus had her to himself he was desperate to feed her something. He'd had other plans but decided to take her to a restaurant instead.

It was expensive and quiet. Angus managed to get a table in a corner and they ordered fondue.

"What's wrong?" Jessica asked when Angus looked lost when Jessica repeatedly refused the food.

"Jess, we left you alone today. We didn't try to feed you and didn't mention eating, not once. All day. And you didn't eat a thing all day." Angus said.

"Yes I did..."

"A bit of cheese, one grape and a twelfth of a bagel does not count as eating." Angus grumbled.

"I'm sorry." Jessica said, "But everything tastes so... blah. Like sand. I just can't find anything that I want to eat." She reached across the table and took his hand. "I'm really not hungry."

"Jess..." Angus said, overcome with desperation. He was prepared to beg, when he noticed a quartet of violinists going from table to table, playing.

He raised his hand and the violinists moved to them. Angus slid his chair to the other side of the table, next to Jessica's and as soon as her attention was on the musicians he started shoveling food into her mouth.

By the time the musicians moved on, with a huge tip in hand, Jessica had eaten almost all of her share of the food.

"They were so good!" Jessica said but paused when she saw Angus' expression. "Please don't worry so much."

"Last night you said you were never much of an eater." Angus said, "And you're not eating now, and clearly not out of defiance. So... when you refused to eat before, when we first brought you home, you weren't being defiant either. Were you?"

"Actually I was. It was a convenient way to fight back. I mean, I really wasn't hungry... but I definitely wouldn't have eaten for you even if I had been." Jessica said.

"We hurt you so much..." Angus said his voice breaking.

"But Angus, I just told you, I purposely didn't eat back then." Jessica said.

"I know. That doesn't change or excuse what we did. What I did."

"No it doesn't. But I don't care. I forgave you, remember?" Jessica asked leaning in to him, laying her head on his chest and looking up at him.

"You did." Angus said nodding. "I think you're being far too easy on us though... on me."

"You know, I hurt you too back then. I broke your nose, at least once. Scratched you, bit you, I shot Scott. I think you're forgetting that."

"Not the same thing Jess." Angus said.

"What can I do to make you feel better about all of that?" Jessica asked.

"Nothing. And you don't need to worry about it." Angus said.

"There has to be something." Jessica said.

"I thought that letting Earl and his band of psychos rape me in order to save you would do it, but it didn't." Angus said, "Maybe if you hurt me yourself it'd work."

"No..." Jessica began but then stopped. She studied Angus' face. ¬ "So, if I hurt you, you think you'll stop feeling guilty?"

"It'll help." Angus said. "To be honest I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling guilty but I'll feel less guilty if there's been some payback for you."

"What would I have to do?" Jessica asked paling.

"Nothing physical Jess, don't worry. Christ I'm an ass. I just keep finding new ways to torture you. There's nothing for you to do, don't worry. The most painful thing you could do to me is to cut me out of your life. And I'm far too greedy and cowardly to let you do that. Look, forget I said anything okay? This is supposed to be our honeymoon. We're supposed to have fun. There's an operetta starting in half an hour. Do you want to go?"

"An operetta? You want to go to an operetta?" Jessica asked, shocked.

"Okay, maybe there's a hint of masochism in that. But you enjoy them and I really want to do something you enjoy." Angus said.

"I enjoy a lot of things Angus. I'd rather do something that you enjoy too. You know what?" she said snapping her fingers and pointing at him, "I have just the thing."

"What is it?" Angus asked.

Jessica smiled, "It's a surprise. Come on." She said taking Angus' hand.

Twenty minutes later they were at a go carting track.

"Excellent idea." Angus said clearly preferring the go carts to the operetta.

"And this is the best part... they have carts where one person steers and the other person works the gas and break. We can literally race together." Jessica said.

"That's... different." Angus said.

"And I read on the website that they have two tracks. One for just fooling around, and another to race against times. If you get the fastest time you win a thousand dollars."

"You don't say." Angus said pulling her to him. And kissing her lips.

"I do say, and I think that thousand dollars is our for the taking." Jessica said hugging and kissing him back.

"And what will we do with it when we win it?" Angus asked.

"Save it... for something big. Like our own race track." Jessica said.

"I like the way you think." Angus said suddenly getting serious. He kissed her again. With his tongue, a long, long, kiss that left them breathless when they came up for air. "Let's race before we start something we can't finish in public."

Jessica nodded and taking Angus' hand, led him to the admission window.

"Do you want to steer or work the pedals?" Angus asked when they stood looking at the go cart.

"Let's do it twice so we each get a turn to do one or the other." Jessica said. "I'll steer this time."

They got in the car, and by the time they made it to the start line they'd figured out how to co-ordinate the steering and pedalling. They beat the fastest time, collected their thousand dollars and went again. They beat their previous fastest time and collected another thousand dollars.

"Too bad they limit the wins to two per pair per day." Jessica said.

"Excuse me." A man wearing an employee uniform said. "We usually give our winners a trophy. Unfortunately we only have one left, and you won twice. We do however have this car charm from the resort jeweler. We keep it here as advertisement for the jewellery story but I think you should have it in place of the trophy. It has a small diamond in it, a couple of rubies and an emerald." He held it out to Jessica.

"It's beautiful." Jessica said taking it.

"Two grand!" Angus exclaimed as they made their way back to the hotel.

"And a trophy." Jessica said holding the car charm up.

"And a trophy." Angus agreed.

"I know we said we'd save a thousand for a race track." Jessica said, "Why don't we do that and use the other thousand tomorrow? We could take the boys out of the club for the day and all go parasailing."

"Fuck yes! You're a genius." Angus said as they entered the hotel suite.

"A sexy genius." Scott said coming up behind Jessica and bringing his hands to her tits.

Jessica moaned, leaned back against Scott and whispered, "Hurry up!" when Riley and Jim started to take her pants off.

"I think it's time for the hot tub again." Josh said.

"Maybe we'll push your pussy up against the jets again." Angus hissed in her ear, "Watch your legs twitch... I can hardly wait."

They spent over an hour in the tub, just barely having the strength to get out of the hot tub and drop haphazardly onto the bed before falling to sleep.

Jessica woke up just as a scream threatened to escape her. Images of Earl bringing the hammer down on Angus' teeth remained seared in her mind as she went to the bathroom, put on pajamas and headed to the hotel suite door. Opening it she found Mark and Chris sitting in the hallway.

They got to their feet as Jessica closed the door behind her.

"Hey." They greeted.

"Hi. Are you okay?" Jessica asked. They looked out of sorts. Mark more than Chris but they were both definitely not their normal selves.

"No. Not really." Mark said.

"Let me get a key for one of the rooms." Jessica said reaching for the door handle. "And we can talk."

"We have a key." Chris said holding one up.

"Okay, let's go." Jessica said taking one of each of their hands.

"Want a cooler?" Mark asked. He'd gone straight to the bar and the coolers from the night before were sitting on top.

"Please." Jessica said.

He took one for her and brought a bottle of whiskey and a couple of shot glass for himself and Chris.

Jessica sat between Mark and Chris and they clinked their drinks together. Jessica sipped hers, Mark and Chris tossed back theirs. Mark poured another shot for each of them and they tossed them back too. Mark slammed his shot glass onto the coffee table, planted his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into this hands.

"What's going on?" Jessica asked looking from Mark, to Chris.

"I don't even know where to begin." Chris said. "I never saw this coming, never."

"What? What happened?" Jessica asked, getting worried.

"I'm not doing so good." Mark said. "I thought I'd get over Earl. I mean, shit happens right? But I'm not getting over it. I have nightmares, I feel... dirty. And now, I'm developing performance issues, if you get my drift."

"I'm so sorry." Jessica said.

"Don't be. You have nothing to be sorry about and you've been through this too. Probably worse than me because it was so prolonged. I mean, I just need to know how you got over it so I can too."

"It took a really long time to get to where I am now with the men. Over two years." Jessica said.

"Don't you hate them?" Mark asked suddenly crying, "The men? They beat you, raped you. I hate Earl... so goddamned much."

Mark dropped his head into this hands again and sobbed. Jessica wrapped her arms around him.

"I did hate them. Back then. But a lot has happened between them and me since then. Our situations are the same yet different in so many ways and there's no reason for you to wait over two years to deal with it. I think it's crucial that you see that rape crisis counsellor, like we discussed. Right away."

Mark nodded his head.

Jessica got the box of tissues from the bedroom and passed them to Mark as she sat down between him and Chris again and wrapped her arms around Mark.

"I'm sorry that there's no magic solution to this." Jessica said. "And Justine is just going to have to be patient."

Mark's sobs turned into laughs as he wiped his eyes. "That's another problem." He said and turned to look at Chris. Jessica did too and found him watching her and Mark with a lost expression on his face.

"Justine..." Chris began, looking completely bewildered, "wants Mark and I to fuck."

"Oh." Jessica said and for a few minutes she was at a complete loss for words.

"She says it turns her on. The idea of us kissing and shit..." Chris added, shaking his head in disbelief.

"But, um, she knows about the issues you're having, right?" she asked Mark.

Mark nodded. "She thinks it may help."

"She calls it therapeutic." Chris said once again looking like he couldn't comprehend what was happening.

"Therapeutic..." Jessica repeated feeling as lost as Chris apparently felt.

"She says that's how you got over it. By having good sex with the men." Mark said.

"Screaming good sex." Chris added.

"Well, I guess that's kind of true." Jessica said, "But Chris isn't even gay." Jessica added looking at Chris, "How does Justine think that you'll want to do this?"

"She says that if I love Mark, I'll do it." Chris said.

"That's not fair." Jessica said.

"She says if we don't want to that's okay. It's just a fantasy of hers... but it would help Mark. Good sex with another man would help him get off." Chris added.

"That's... that's, tough." Jessica said and took several long drinks from her cooler, shaking it when liquid stopped coming out.

"Another?" Chris asked.

Jessica nodded so he got her another bottle.

She was half way through the second bottle when she finally asked, "So what are you going to do?"

"Try to get over it." Mark said.

"No, we know what we're doing about the rape. You're getting counselling. I mean, what are you going to do about Justine's fantasy?" Jessica asked.

"I'm fucked if I know." Chris said. "I mean I do care about Mark. Obviously. I don't want him to suffer. But sex with a man... I don't know."

"Do you want me to talk to Justine?" Jessica asked. "I can tell her that she needs to give you time to get over it in your own way, and that forcing you to sleep together is just going to cause more problems. I mean, Chris would never get over being forced to do that."

"Maybe you talking to her would help." Chris said, "She seems set on the idea that you were saved by sex and that Mark can be too."

Jessica took a long drink of her cooler. "The problem," Jessica said, "is that it's true. Scott got me to enjoy sex, that made a huge difference. But that was man and woman sex. I can't see how same gender sex with a partner who is not gay or bisexual can be helpful to anyone. But, maybe Scott is the best person to ask about that. Sex is his area of expertise."

Mark and Chris nodded.

"God help me," Chris said, "but I never expected to be in this kind of a situation."

Mark leaned against Jessica, Chris did too, and they sat huddled together, thinking. The room door opened and Jessica's men came in, stopping when they saw the three of them slumped together.

"What's going on?" Angus demanded.

"We're stumped." Jessica said.

"About?" Jim asked pulling a chair in front of the sofa. Sitting in it he leaned forward to look at Jessica, Mark and Chris.

"Grab some shot glasses." Mark said lifting the whiskey bottle.

The men got shot glasses, pulled up chairs and after they were seated with a couple of shots of whiskey in their bellies, they looked from Jessica, to Mark, Chris and back to Jessica expectantly.

"Ah, um, okay." Jessica said, "Mark, maybe you should start."

Mark nodded. "I'm not dealing well with what Earl did to me. I'm going to see if I can get rape counselling, like Elsie's getting. But, Justine seems to think that it would help me get better if..." he slid his eyes over to Chris.

"She wants Mark and I to fuck." Chris said.

"She what?" Riley demanded.

"It's her fantasy, but she also thinks it'll be therapeutic for me." Mark said and seemed to sag even more against Jessica.

"Shit." Josh said.

"I guess it could work." Scott said.

"But Chris isn't gay." Jessica said.

"He doesn't have to be." Scott said. "I mean sex is sex." He added when everyone looked at him in surprise. "If you don't consider the gender of the person, kissing someone is the same no matter who does it and who receives it"

"Fine, you fuck Mark." Chris grumbled.

"I'm just saying that it's doable." Scott said, "Not that I want to do it... no offense Mark."

"It's fine. I'm happy having nothing to do with sex right now." Mark said.

"Did you have any suggestions?" Angus asked Jessica.

"No." Jessica said, "Except that I could talk to Justine and suggest that she give Mark time to get better. We were hoping Scott would have a suggestion."

"Maybe I will tomorrow." Scott said, "But tonight I just want Jessica to come back to bed. It's fucking late."