Lisa Ch. 09a

Jessica shifted her gaze to Riley, Scott, Josh and Jim. "Did you guys have a conversation about what we talked about yesterday?"

They nodded. "About both things we spoke about yesterday. The resentments and Paul."

Jessica's heart thudded. That's why everyone was so serious. What if turning the clan in was more than the others were willing to do?

"Don't be mad at them Jess." Angus said, "We're on the same page about what I did to you."

"But can you forgive yourselves now? Can you forgive Angus?" she asked looking at her men.

"We've worked things out Jess." Scott said with a nod. "Everything's fine."

"And you're not mad at me?" Jessica asked Angus.

Angus shook his head, pulling her tighter against him and kissing the top of her head.

"And... and the other thing?" Jessica asked looking around at Sean, Corey and the others. "I know it's a lot to ask," Jessica continued in a nervous tone, looking from the face of one family member to the other, "but the clan just keeps on hurting people. That can't go on... this is the best, non-violent, way I can think of to stop them. And... and... it'll help get you all a pardon with the government." Finally she settled her eyes on Angus. It was hard to read his reaction. He had the same devoted expression on his face that the other men wore but there was an edge to it Jessica just couldn't decipher. "I know it's a lot to ask..." Jessica repeated, nervous that she may have gone too far in asking it.

"Baby, I'll do whatever you want. Anything. Just say the word, I'll do it." Angus said and while his words were a relief, the severity in his expression intensified. Jessica raised her hand to his face, tracing it with her fingers.

"I promise that your issues with the government will be addressed. Through the courts, through law... I would never ask you to give up your beliefs..." Jessica said, searching Angus' eyes, then glancing at the others in the room.

"We know Jessica." Sean finally said and despite how serious he looked his tone was gentle. "We have no doubt that you'll represent us effectively. I'd be lying if I said any one of us were crazy about turning the clan in. It's not our first, second or third choice. But Riley has suggested that we don't actually need to do anything. Your men will turn over the info, we'll just let them. We're okay with that, if you are."

Jessica nodded. In truth that was more than she really thought she could ask of them. Jessica's momentary elation at Sean's words was overshadowed by the ever present tension in the room.

"What's wrong then?" Jessica asked glancing around, at her family, at the men.

"Jess... if Paul and the clan are going to pay for the things they've done in prison, how are we going to pay for what we've done?" Angus asked. "Especially for what we did to your family."

"We all had some part to play in that." Corey added, "Except the girls and Rick and Abe."

"The best way for us to pay for our crimes is to turn ourselves in too." Scott added. Jessica gaped at him. Then at the other men, then the family. Her mind raced as every fibre of her being screamed, "No!".

"Baby, if you didn't love us like you do, you would want us to go to jail, just like you want Paul and the rest of the clan to." Riley said, moving to the sofa and squatting in front of Jessica. Jessica shook her head but when she saw Riley's resolve harden she realized that she had to be careful about how she responded.

"Thinking about it logically, if you didn't have feelings for us, that's exactly what you'd want." Jim added.

Logic... she had to be logical in what she said or they wouldn't take her seriously. She began to recognize the expressions around her as ones of indulgence. They were humoring her... panic welled up in her. They thought she was blinded by her feelings for them and not thinking straight. The thought of them going to prison, any one of them but especially her men made her want to vomit.

"You're right." Jessica finally managed to say. "My love for you is clouding my vision when it comes to the idea of you going to prison. I don't want you to." She looked to each of her men, and then around the room. "But when I suggested turning the clan in I based it on the future. I've forgotten the past, remember? We all have. But looking into the future the clan will continue hurting people and you won't. You've all stopped, and there's so much good you can do for society in the future, so much that can help make up for the past. But you can't do that from behind bars."

"Like what?" Caleb asked.

"To start with, we have twelve boys who we can raise to be strong, caring men, who contribute to society. Rather than be angry and violent they can be doctors, teachers, lawyers, humanitarians. We have to invest in their education. Teach them to read, do math. When we finally get away from the clan they need tutors. On top of that we can continue to invest money into organizations that help victims deal with violence. We're already doing that with the comic book," Jessica said nodding at Josh, "but your fashion sales can help," she said to Sara, Justine and Amanda, "revenue from everything we do. When we settle down away from the clan we will get the dogs and horses back and we can breed dogs and race horses. That will help. Repairing cars," Jessica looked to Angus, "Anything else, can all be used for good. Don can use his computer skills to help feed information to the authorities about any terrorist groups out there... not the clan, but other organizations... I haven't thought of everything yet but can't you see that you're all more good to society outside of prison than in it?"

"But Jess, given your career plans, do you really think you'll make it through school and through the law system without someone realizing who you are?" Abe asked. "How do you think people will react when they know that you're protecting the killers of your family?"

"I don't care what they think. The law is the law, it has nothing to do with perceptions about the people practicing it. I know I'm biased so it may be hard to believe me but as a... victim..." Jessica stumbled over the word hoping it wasn't going to undo her efforts at convincing the men to move forward and not dwell on the past and what they'd done to her, "I appreciate future acts of kindness from all of you over having you sit in prison to pay for past crimes. And honestly," she added, her voice breaking, "I can't lose another family. I know it's selfish, but I need you too much." Jessica had lowered her eyes to stare at Angus' chest where she absent mindedly ran her thumb back and forth over his shirt. When the silence in the room stretched for far too long Jessica looked up. Angus was watching her and somehow his look of devotion had intensified. It scared her. Finally he forced a smile.

"We need you too, more than you'll ever know. Whatever you want, it's yours. Prison, no prison, it's all up to you." Angus said.

"No prison." Jessica replied. When Angus gave a slight nod Jessica turned to the other men. Jim and Scott beside her and Angus, Riley still squatting in front of her, Josh standing next to him.

"Like Angus said, anything you want." Riley said. Scott, Jim and Josh nodded.

"I won't volunteer to go to prison." Quinn said when her eyes moved to him. "But I will help bring other terrorist organizations down in whatever way I can. And I sure as fuck will do whatever good deeds I can. And for the record Jess, you're not the only one who needs this family. Being the outcast for most of my life I know what loneliness feels like and I don't want that again anytime soon."

There was a general murmur of agreement.

"So, to be sure we're all on the same page," Sean said, "when Paul asks us to do his big job, your men will call the authorities. We'll all run. Settle down somewhere and you'll finish your education, become a lawyer, and the rest of us will do so many good deeds we'll make saints look like sinners. Correct?"

Jessica nodded not sure at first if Sean was being sarcastic or not. She felt relieved when Sean smiled and the expressions around her softened.

"Rick and Abe, are you on board with this. You haven't said much." Riley said, "And neither of you were involved in the attack on Jessica's family. You have nothing to make up to her, no reason to turn in the clan."

Jessica looked over at Abe and Rick and found them looking like deer in the headlight. They looked at one another, and then Abe shrugged.

"We have lots to make up for, believe me." Abe said and looked at Jessica like she was a foreign creature he couldn't quite understand. Rick looked equally thrown off. "We won't rat on the clan but we won't get in your way." Abe continued while scanning the faces in the room. "Deciding to leave the clan was a huge betrayal. Turning in the clan takes things to a completely different level of betrayal. You're really willing to do that? I know you love Jessica but... that's beyond love."

"You just said you're willing to do the same." Corey replied, "Does it really need explaining?"

"I guess not." Abe agreed but both Rick and Abe looked bewildered.

"Are you going to be able to stay committed to this?" Jim asked, "You look undecided."

"We're committed." Rick replied and his tone left no room for doubt. "I think you know we are. Anthony, Earl, plans to leave the clan... we've been with you every step of the way. But turning the clan in... we never believed you'd be willing to do that or to condone it."

"You're not alone on that." Don said and then winked at Jessica before pulling Amanda into his embrace, smiling down at her and kissing her, "But sometimes unexpected people and circumstances come into your life and you end up in places you never thought you would."

"So we're all in agreement?" Sean asked. Everyone nodded.

"And about the boys." Jessica added, "They'll learn better if they get some help coping with what has happened to them. They need counselling. Badly. And the sooner, the better, but I think it's too risky to have them seeing anyone outside the clan. Unlike Elsie, I think what they say will be believed and they can't get the help they need if they have to hide some facts to protect us."

"I know a psychologist who is clan friendly." Abe said. "He's real good. Want me to get a hold of him?"

"Yes, please." Jessica said clearly excited.

"And maybe you should take advantage of his services too." Abe added.

"What? Me?" Jessica asked in surprise. "No... no, I'm fine." She added, even more surprised when it looked like everyone in the room found Abe's suggestion reasonable.

"K if you say so." Abe said, "After dinner I'll give him a call." Giving Jessica's head a quick rub he moved into the kitchen.

"Now that that's settled." Angus said, holding his cell phone up and punching something into it. "I have a surprise for you. Kind of an apology for worrying and lying to you." He kissed Jessica. A moment later there was a knock at the front door. "Come in!" he called.

"Beth!" Jessica squealed and ran to Beth when she walked in the door. "You're okay!" she exclaimed, hugging her, kissing her, grasping her arms to make sure she was real and not part of her imagination. Satisfied that it was really Beth, she ran back to Angus, kissed him, kissed her men, hugged everyone else. She was euphoric.

Everyone was smiling, clearly happy with the effect of the surprise on Jessica. They moved away and found things to do when Jessica pulled Beth to the sofa with her.

"Are you okay?" Jessica demanded, "Where did you go? Quinn and I have been looking for you, Jim has been looking for you..."

"I moved." Beth said, "When Quinn pointed out how many people I was putting in danger I decided it was better if I was on my own."

"Did you see the plastic surgeon?"

Beth nodded. "He does good work, but Jess he's so expensive. I can't afford it."

"I'll pay for it." Jessica said.

"No Jess."

"Yes. You make an appointment, tell me when you need the money and I'll get it to you."

Beth nodded. Then she looked around.

"You've been busy Jess. I heard about Earl. I'm sorry I couldn't have helped you..."

"No Beth, please don't... I'm glad you avoided all of that."

"Listen, I should go." Beth said suddenly.

"What, no. Beth you have to stay. We have room. Stay with us. Please."

Beth leaned forward and kissed Jessica, then hugged her. "I appreciate the thought Jess, but it's too late for that. I'm happy where I am, really. I'll let you know about the appointment with the surgeon okay?"

"Beth, wait." Jessica said grabbing her hand. "This is your family too. It was your family first. Please don't go."

"That's where you're wrong Jess." Beth said, but she didn't sound angry or upset, just resigned. "This family never treated me like it's treating you. Hell, the clan never treated me like it treated you. But that's okay. We're different people, with drastically different personalities. I'll see you later okay?"

Standing Beth looked around and when she saw Abe and Rick she did a double take.

"They're with us now." Sean said, "It's okay."

Beth nodded and walked out the door.

"I'm sorry Jess." Angus said going to her when she stood staring at the door. "I didn't think she'd leave so fast."

Jessica shook her head. "It's okay. She's okay, that's all that matters."

"Dinner's ready." Abe called from the kitchen.

"Jess, you have to eat more than that." Riley said fifteen minutes later when everyone else had finished eating.

"I'll have popcorn at the movies." Jessica said resulting in hoots from the boys.

"With lots of butter!" Nathan exclaimed.

"Jessica, you didn't eat anything." Abe said coming to stand next to her, staring down at her plate.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not..."

"Hungry, we know." Sean said, "But you need to eat something. You may think we didn't notice but you had next to nothing for breakfast, Lord knows what for lunch. Sit back down and eat at least half of that."

Jessica was tempted to tell them that she felt queasy but she was afraid they'd cancel the drive-in if she did.

"You're not going to the movie if you don't eat." Leah said, "And besides, think of the example you're setting for the boys. You expect them to eat, so you eat too."

Jessica sighed. She started to shovel the food into her mouth, slowly yet steadily.

"Now that wasn't too hard was it?" Abe asked when he took her half empty plate away. Jessica shook her head as she fought to keep the food down. For a moment she thought she'd vomit but then her stomach seemed to calm.

"Okay." Jessica said trying to divert attention away from her, "The whole key to drive-ins are the pjs. Go put your pjs on boys and let's go to the movies!"

Chaos reigned as everyone changed, brought blankets and pillows, and clamoured into multiple cars.

Brett, Nathan and Leo came in Jessica's SUV with her, Jim, Leah and Corey. They insisted on Jessica and Jim singing all the way to the drive in rather than listening to the radio. The bonfire had been their first introduction to their singing and the boys had gone nuts over it.

"Aren't couples supposed to make out at the drive in?" Corey asked, putting his arm around Leah as the movie began.

"Only if they don't have little boys in the back of their cars." Jim said but he pulled Jessica close. Riley, Angus, Scott and Josh had slid into the front seat with them. Jessica moved from lap to lap throughout the movie, the cuddles making the movie that much more enjoyable.

By midnight the younger boys were asleep. When they got home the boys were put to bed.

"First night without giving the boys meds..." Riley said when the men and Jessica were in bed.

"Hopefully they'll be okay." Jessica said.

"They're going to hear you scream." Scott said sliding his hand between her legs.

"Do you think it will scare them?" Jessica asked, panting.

"Probably." Jim said.

"Maybe we should go to the studio." Jessica suggested.

"Christ yes." Josh said, grabbed Jessica's hand and hauled her out of the bed. "Here." He said holding a housecoat out for her. Jessica slid into the coat, laughing.

"Come on." Josh took her one hand, Jim the other and they practically ran to the living room, Riley, Scott and Angus following.

"Can't sleep?" Sara asked as they breezed through the living room.

"Give us an hour, then we'll sleep." Angus said. They barely made it to the studio. Jessica was naked by the time she started climbing the ladder, helped along by prodding and invading fingers in her pussy and asshole. In the loft Jessica dropped to her knees, and started unzipping Riley's pants with one hand, Josh's with the other.

"Undo your pants." She ordered Scott.

"Jessica, Jessica..." Riley said finally grabbing her by her arms, lifting her and slamming her against Jim. "You'll pleasure us when we say you can." He said getting so close to her face his lips brushed hers.

"Please Master?" Jessica asked in a voice filled with need. Riley almost came on the spot.

"Okay, fine." He said, pulled Jessica from Jim and lowered her onto her knees on the floor. No sooner was she down there than she had Riley, Scott and Josh's cocks out and in her hands and mouth.

"Oh yeah." Josh said with a guttural laugh, "You showed her, hard ass."

"Shut up Josh," Riley said escalating to climax quickly. "Just enjoy your fucking blow job."

Josh smirked at Riley and came seconds later.

Jessica serviced Angus and Jim after and once they were satisfied Riley picked Jessica up from behind. Jessica wrapped her legs around him, leaning forward onto Josh and Scott who each grabbed a tit.

"Let's see how many times you can cum in the next ten minutes." Riley whispered in her ear. A shiver of anticipation ran down Jessica's spine. To the men it was like a red cape to a bull, they went nuts. It was as if they'd been deprived of sex for years.

They let Jessica pleasure them a few more times and by the time they were done not only were they exhausted, but dirty. Jessica was covered head to toe in cum.

Luckily no one was awake when they went back in the house. After a shower that involved much more than just cleaning, they collapsed in bed and slept peacefully for the first time in weeks. And to everyone's surprise, the boys did too. They didn't stir once, unmedicated.

The next eight weeks were a blur of crazy activity and absolute bliss.

They sold the horses, to excellent homes. The men and the others had managed to surprise Jessica by having her race Ebony just before he was sold. It'd been a small fair race, there not being enough time to register for a real one, so it was no surprise when Jessica and Ebony won. Somehow, having finally raced with Ebony, saying goodbye to him seemed even harder when he went to his new home. Jessica tried so hard not to cry that it was painful to watch. Scott had to order her to cry and once she started she didn't stop for a full half hour.

They got into the habit of going everywhere together. The men, Jessica, the other adults and the boys. They'd all been there at the race.

They'd gone to the fair and had a blast. So much fun in fact that they went three days in a row. Erik got sick each time but insisted on going again and again. Even the men acted like kids at the fair.

Once the animals were gone they had more time for other things. Jessica got into the habit of spending one on one time with every single person within the course of the day. Somehow she had perfected her fair share time with the men to include the entire family. She also had them all participating in each other's bucket list activities. Everyone was learning to fly... except for Brett and Nathan who weren't old enough yet. Everyone was learning to surf at a local indoor surfing pool. Scuba dive, dance, motorbike racing. The girls had their fashion show at the bar. The family was there to cheer, and the girls dressed Jessica up in so many different outfits that even the audience was beginning to wonder if she was their life sized doll.