Pink Pearl

"Lisa. You have no idea how confused I have been, how I have wanted to 'talk' but I had no idea what to say. I can't even begin to think about where to go. We have to stop, and we will, but I just want you to know that a part of me doesn't want to. I'm being honest, whatever we can do. Just holding hands. I don't want to let go."

Silence.

She was thinking. Holding to a folder she had taken off my desk, turning it in her hand.

"This has my name on it."

She held it up.

"Yeah. Your file. I did some research."

"Research?"

"Yeah. Masturbation, and how to stop."

"Oh my." She laughed. I hadn't seen her flash of teeth in a while. She opened the file. "Too funny."

"I was thinking of you as someone I counseled. I mean. You know."

She was flipping through pages. "So. You give those 'massages' to all the ladies then?"

"No. I..."

"Just kidding."

She began to read aloud one of the pages, "Every person, without exception, will find the connection between lust and sexual turn-on, whether they are looking for that connection or not. This connection often begins with dreams, which obviously is totally outside the control of anybody. However, once that connection has been established, it is permanently resident in the mind and the next step is, "how do I handle this new side of my personality"? You've got two options: One, Control the fantasies and lust as best you can and masturbate when the internal hormonal pressure - She repeated 'Internal hormonal pressure??' - . . . causes the sexual pressure to build. This option keeps your sexual nature as an important part of the personality in the context originally designed by God. Two, Feed the fantasies and lust and cultivate a sexual desire increasingly out of control and dominating every aspect of your life. This option leads to much more masturbation and then bigger problems with guilt and poor self image! This option usually involves pornography and sometimes leads to violating other people in an attempt to gratify the lust that increasingly dominates your personality."

She looked up, "I never got this lecture."

"No. You didn't. I never got to that."

She laughed, then read some more, "The more frequently you masturbate, the more fantasy you require to get an orgasm each time. This option becomes a vicious circle - the more you feed your lust, the more it demands to be fed! . . . That part is accurate."

She traced her fingers over the paper.

I sat there looking at her long dark hair hanging over her face, as she read the paper, watched the hair fall over her shoulders as she looked out the window, and at me. I waited. Not knowing what to say.

"It wouldn't have to stop. I mean . . . totally . . . we can't go, too far . . . but the touching. That is what I mean. I like being touched. Just touched."

"I like touching you."

"It needs to be, feel safer. For me."

I could not believe my ears.

"I need to know what you will or won't do. I can't have this little creeping hand trying for more all the time." She turned her hand to herself, mimicking as if it were my hand groping around.

"That would be alright. I can totally do that. It's not like . . . I can't control myself at all."

"What about Mandy?" I hadn't even thought of that question. "She doesn't know about this I assume."

"Oh, no. She...I"

She laughed. "Pretty safe assumption. I'm not going to tell her, but . . . you keep secrets from her."

"We all do. From each other."

Silence again.

Then I said, "It could be like a contract." She looked up, at me, confused a little. And I continued "We can discuss what we can do."

"Each time?"

"Maybe not each time. But to know the parameters, we know the parameters, and we have to stay in them. Can't go outside what we agree."

"A contract. . . Sounds like . . . yeah. Ok."

I continued, "So. Lisa. Of all the things we, um, did. What did you like. I mean what was ok. I think you like when I rub your back. Like, over your dress."

"I liked under my dress too, but on my back. Maybe the sides a little. Nothing below my skirt at the waist. My hair for sure, you can do my hair all day, my neck. That's nice. My shoulders. Arms."

"Legs are off limits?"

"Not necessarily."

"Legs are hard for me." I confessed.

She laughed, she saw concern in my eyes. This was delicate. She put me at ease, "No its just. I never heard anyone EVER say 'legs are hard for me.' But I think I know what you mean. But still, I like my legs being rubbed. Definitely below the knee, my feet. I love my feet rubbed. But to my skirt." She paused, tugging at her hem, "Maybe a little higher."

"Ok."

"Like, right about here." She motioned up high on her thighs.

"I can see your panties though."

Here eyes had this momentary wicked gleam. I could sense she liked when I could see. She said, "S'all right, but no higher. You can look. But . . ." Her cheeks flushed quickly then. I was noticing the fire in her eyes as we talked. I knew what she meant.

I felt bolder, "How about your front?"

"My tummy, yes, my arms for sure, mmmmm, but . . . not my breasts." She held her finger in the air, "My bra right up to my bra." Demonstrating with her hands.

"Sometimes you don't wear a bra."

She glanced at me, "Mmmm, I was bad that day. But, not my breasts. If I don't wear a bra, you can see a little more, that's all!" She cupped her breasts just then, "Off limits. AND . . . what about you?"

"What?"

"You too. I might want to give YOU a massage."

The thought never crossed my mind. My heart began to beat wildly. "Me. I would like that. Um, same areas."

She laughed, "So I can't massage your breasts either."

"No. Well, I mean yeah you can. . . and I can take my shirt off too."

"Men are so lucky."

I teased, "You can if you want. IF you wear your bra."

"I'll think about that."

Silence again, as we reflected.

"When?"

"It would be the same, after school at your house. But . . .We need to set an alarm."

"Ok. Can . . . we ever go out, eat out."

She laughed. "A date."

"Well no. But if we did. What is the contract for if we go out."

"You mean you might like to touch me then?"

Feeling braver, I nodded yes. The look in her eyes was delicious. I could tell she did like the exposure of being out in public like that.

"Well, You can't do what we did last week. That is too too risky. I have to think about that."

"Can we kiss?"

"Um, I . . . You have to ask, each time. And if I say yes, you can NOT touch me while we kiss. It would be one or the other. It is too distracting when both are going on, and I don't think you would follow our 'Contract.'"

"Ok." All I heard is that she would let me kiss her. I was in heaven. Just then I noticed the time. "Oh. It is 7:30, I have to go get ready."

We sat there simply shining, I was beet red, I felt hot. Lisa's lips were full and red, her cheeks mottled. She looked more alive than I had ever seen her.

We had not touched the whole time. Not that I consciously intended to, but still, this was the first time in about two months we saw each other and I had not touched her. We did not hug or kiss. She got up and sort of angled toward the door. We just suddenly felt very exposed with one another.

Lisa turning to me at the door said, "Ok then."

"I'll see you." I stood up.

She stopped at the door, stood just inside the opening. "What do you have to do, to get ready I mean?"

"Just arrange clothes, my robe. Lay out my notes, get some hymnals. Find pages."

"Oh . . . Can I help?"

"Yes."

I walked out of the office with her following behind me, the church was empty and I walked to the back area of the pulpit. A little room, the Sacristy behind the Chancel. We were silent, you could not even hear our footsteps. I was trembling as I waited, going into the back area I turned on the light and started to arrange my papers. Lisa stood by the doorway and watched.

As I worked, the light turned off.

Next thing I knew, she was behind me.

I whispered to her, "Trying to make me crazy," and turned to her.

I could just make her out in the low light, silhouetted by the doorway. She looked down at herself and then at me, smiling white teeth at me. Placing a hand at her bare hip, "What?" I felt her arms fold around my back. "Just thinking about our 'contract.'

I felt her small hands rub my belly and up my front.

"I've wanted to do that you know. I was going to ask, but never got the courage."

"I need some light."

"Just a little minute. Ok." This ok?" She backed up a little and ran her hands down my back and over my ass, then down my thighs and back again. "We never discussed our bottoms."

"And?" I whispered.

"You can do mine, if I can do yours."

I felt her squeeze my ass and run a hand down my thighs. I felt myself grow hard. My cock was sticking down my leg. I adjusted myself, and she noticed.

"Lisa," I whispered. "You were going to help me get ready."

"I am."

"No. No your not. Behave." I turned to her and she wrapped her arms around me one more time.

"I'll turn on the light. . . But first, kiss me."

Her small little body stood before me in the dark. The tension between us was unbearable. My breath was catching in my throat. I leaned lower and so lightly touched her lips. We simply held our mouths open, touching our open mouths together, I could feel her trembling or it was me trembling against her.

She backed away, we kissed, we did not touch. I did not touch her, it was a slow lingering kiss. I touched her lips with my tongue and she met me with hers. We touched and trembled and kissed like that for, time left us there. Her head was tipped lightly to mine, and I could feel her hair on my cheek.

I leaned in a little harder and pressed my mouth to hers. "Can I at least hold you?"

"Mmmmm." She nodded, as I held my hand to the small of her back and pulled her close. She brought one leg up and we let our bodies twine together. There was no way she could not feel my cock pressing against her belly.

She backed away and looked at me. I held her hand. She said, "I didn't know how this would go."

"Neither did I."

She walked over and turned on the light. My cock was straining my pants and at that moment she looked at my crotch and then into my eyes.

"What can I do?"

She stood by me, and my thoughts swam with possible answers. "Here, bring these out and put them on the pulpit."

"This your sermon." She fingered a little stack of papers in her hand, pursing her lips at me.

"Yes."

"What is it about?"

"Caring for our brothers and sisters."

She was looking at me. "Sounds good." I could feel her breathing, drawing in deep breaths. We locked eyes. And then she turned. My mind swimming with what she could have said. She disappeared. I looked at the clock, it was 7:55 pm. People were starting to wander into the Sanctuary. Shit. I had ten minutes. I put on my robe, which covered my cock nicely, hidden from sight. It is probably why these things were invented.

I gave my entire service with a hard on, Lisa sitting near the front looking at me. I met her eyes as I spoke.

When I glanced at her face, she was smiling, eyes little slits.

After it was over I gave the benediction, and she left along with everyone else, telling me what a fine service it was. She touched my hand, I held it in mine.

Lightly I traced my hand along just the inside of her arm, to her wrist.

"You have to be good," she whispered as she let go my hand and then, "Need any more help?"

"I might," I said.

***********************

The 'Contract' was something that brought a kind of 'trust' to our relationship. The lines drawn gave a boundary, even though it was subject to a gradual ongoing adjustment and completely arbitrary. Like those days the temperature starts out cold, gradually warms and you continually find yourself too warm - begin to discard the layers. And each change was discussed, negotiated, before acted upon. It also gave Lisa a bravery I had not seen before. I realized her shyness in part was her inability to feel in-control.

For my part I adhered to the 'terms,' whatever they were, because the alternative was nothing. An end.

I knew that and the fact that I obeyed, oddly led HER to want more. She was almost at times frustrated with my touch now as I ran my fingers over her, as I gave her feather light massages on those lovely afternoons while remaining ALWAYS within bounds.

She was not coming to the house every day, but a few times a week and the rhythm of our times of indiscretion was the purest joy in my life at this time. And for me, unbeknownst to her, any access denied by her, I could fulfilled with my wife, framing this crazy simultaneous fantasy. I often found myself fantasizing about Mandy with Lisa and Lisa with Mandy. My own private manage et trois.

This afternoon Lisa came into the house, and I got her some tea, we went upstairs and she lay on the bed arms out on either side. No words even needed to be spoken. She raised her head from the bed and looked back at me before pushing herself up on her knees and turning before saying, "I want to give you a massage today."

She had mentioned that before. But I was caught off guard nonetheless.

"Uh. . . "

"You said I could."

"Sure," I began to look around, feeling suddenly vulnerable.

She had pulled her sweater off downstairs at the door and had on a light white top with no sleeves and a plunging neckline. It was very light and soft. Her skirt was also of a very light fabric and mid thigh. Silk. Her clothing continued to become less conservative, more revealing, feminine, and of evermore concern to mom and dad. They had mentioned to me now, and I simply replied to them, 'She's an adult, she can wear what she wants. I am not worried about it.' They began to pray for her soul.

She got up off the bed standing barefoot by me, pointing, "You. . . You lay down."

As I moved she said, "Wait, take your shirt off first."

I opened my buttons, smiling at her, as she tugged the fabric down off my arms. She was helping. I could see the nervousness in her eyes as we prepared.

"Ok. Good," Eyeing me as I lay down on the bed.

"T Shirt too."

"Yes."

I again obliged. My shoes were already off.

I noticed her looking around the room.

"What is it?"

She rose padded over away from me, peeking into the bathroom and disappeared. After a little while she returned with a little bottle.

"Lotion. I want to use lotion on you. That ok?"

I had never thought of that. But the idea of slippery soft clear lotion on my skin, her hands on me. I lay down and felt her squirt the cool liquid onto my back, her soft hands smoothing it over my skin. Her touch was so much softer than mine on her, luxurious, her small fingers.

She was kneeling on the bed, I could hear her breathing. Her knees and feet were bare, her light fabric skirt and white top. Her hair falling around her face and shoulders as she leaned over and silently massaged me. And this morning as I lay beside her I felt naked, she felt naked. An intimacy I cannot describe. My shirt was off, her bare hands on my back, skin to skin. I felt myself grow hard, my penis pressing into the bed as I lay there feeling her touch and looking at her kneeling beside me, her legs apart, the fabric of her skirt falling between her legs. I would catch her eye and she would look down at me, smile, her cheeks mottled.

"Amazing stuff." I said.

"Hmmm, hmmm."

She ran her hand across my shoulders and drew small circles out from my spine, rubbing it in. I could see the shine on my arms as she rubbed down to my wrist and squeezed my hand. It looked utterly fantastic. She caressed the lotion down the center of my back, sliding her small hands down to my belt. I felt her clasp her small fingers around my sides, and I let her, around to the edge of my stomach. She could have done anything to me just then. It was pure heaven.

She took her hands off me.

"Um, can I do your legs too?"

I looked at her, as she held her hands out in the air dripping with the shiny lotion. This meant the pants would go too, and I knew it. She knew it.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

I pressed myself up from the mattress, undid my belt and slid my pants off. I turned away from her so she couldn't see my erection as I did so, but as I went to lay back down she was pushing me, and motioning that she wanted me to lay on my back.

"Lay on your back. I want to do your front."

I complied, feeling how she must feel as she yields to my commands. I was the one yielding now, it felt completely different. I could be lazy. I let my mind close down, closed my eyes.

As I lay myself down, my boxers were tenting with my cock, and had I moved wrong it would have come into view through the fly. I am sure from certain angles she would be able to see me. I watched as she eyed my crotch. She took the lotion and squirting another dollop over my front began to rub my chest, and my stomach, but always stealing that glance.

She was still kneeling at my side with legs apart. I really felt naked now and was imagining how with her short little skirt and my hard cock covered only by a pair of boxers, I could not help but think of her sitting on me, moving over no more than a foot, lifting her leg and laying on me now.

She broke the silence with, "Your wet." I opened my eyes and looked down. My boxers were staining a large wet spot with pre-cum. I glanced up into her eyes. My cock standing straight up, hurting from the strain of being so hard.

I nodded.

"I didn't know it did that," she said.

My heart was pounding, she could feel it as she lay her hands on my chest. She next began to stroke the lotion down my legs, letting her hands wander lower, down my thighs and onto my knees. As she turned herself, facing away from me now as she leaned toward my feet I could see her skirt rise, watching as her bare legs came into view to just the edge of her panties. Pink silk panties. The colors and styles of her underclothes becoming as varied as the clothes she wore these days. My cock jumped as I saw her, and she noticing my cock move, turned to look back at me and then working up my legs again. It felt so good.

She was rubbing up high on my thigh, up between my legs, and I knew the same thoughts were running through her mind. But I also knew we had the 'contract.' I was going crazy. The whole front of my boxers were wet now. She was openly looking at my cock, rubbing my legs right at the edge of my boxers, teasing her fingers a little higher, a little higher.

And for a period that seemed to go on and on, she finally says, "I never seen one before."

I looked at her.

"I mean, a penis, for real. Can I . . . could we uh, change one of our rules?"

"How?"

"I mean, when we are massaging, we can SEE more than what we touch. Can I . . . just see IT? I won't touch. We can look, but not touch."

I could not believe. Immediately I was thinking how if she could see me, it would mean I could see her. It was implied. She knew that. I was trembling now, looking at her kneeling by me on the bed.

I wanted to appear less than eager. "No touching?"

"No. Promise."

"You sure?" She was rubbing her hands together, smoothing the lotion through her fingers, and nodding, her cheeks glowing red, wide eyed. Unable to look me in the eye. I said nothing and simply hooked my fingers into the elastic of my boxers and pulled them a little down my thighs. My cock springing into view as it lay up my center, a bush of hair springing from all sides. I was hard, hungry, she leaning over me, looking intently.

Once, twice she looked up the length of me, her nose not more than three inches from my cock, and the view would be of a completely naked man. The first she had seen.

Silence.

All I heard was her breathing, I could feel her warm breath on my penis. A bead of cum forming on the very tip, pooling before a long thin drop slid down onto my abdomen. After awhile it began to puddle there.