Road Rage

I'd wanted to go to the car show in Reno for years, Hot August Nights, brings in car enthusiasts from all over the country. Over five thousand antique and muscle cars would be there, and my Mustang would be one of them.

The city was covered with hot rods, I should be in heaven. People roamed the streets looking at the beautiful old cars. The thing that brought me down was, because most of them were couples. They were guys cruising with their best girls, and couples holding hands, remembering their younger days. I was suddenly sad that I had no one to share the experience with. Justine would have loved this.

Saturday night, everyone in the city was partying, except me. I was sitting alone in my room feeling sorry for myself. I was about to call Ju, partly because I'd told her I would, and mostly because I was missing her. I don't know why, but I changed my mind. In an instant of self pity, I left my room and went to the hotel bar. Have you ever wanted to be by yourself, but not alone? Does that make any sense to you? It was the way I felt that night.

I was becoming a basket case, my world was crumbling before my eyes and I couldn't seem to put my fingers on it to hold it together. I'd been telling myself for weeks, Scott, be strong, you can do this, it's just a phase in your life. But I wasn't certain any longer.

I was drinking whiskey as fast as the bartender could serve it. Yeah, that's it Scott, jump in the bottle and drown yourself. Fuck, I felt pathetic, a middle aged man sitting at this ridiculous bar alone. Everyone else was having the time of their lives, but not me.

A few minutes later, I found not everyone was enjoying themselves. Well, actually, she found me. I suppose that two people, in the same mood amongst all of this parting, we were bound to collide. She was every bit as drunk as me, which was next to unconscious. We mostly stared at each other for the better part of an hour.

"So, what's your story?" she slurred.

"I really don't want to talk about it. How about you? Would you rather drink or talk?"

"Ok, shut up and order another round, and I'll talk."

"Ok, I'm Scott, by the way," I said with no real conviction.

"Jennifer," she held her hand out, and I shook lightly. "You don't seem to be here for the party, do you live around here?"

"Yeah, for the next couple of days anyway."

"So, I've been sitting next to you trying to get you to pick me up for an hour, are you gay?"

The whiskey burned my nostrils, as I had been taking a drink when she asked if I was gay, I almost choked, "Wha... you thin... Fuck no, I'm not gay. I just wasn't looking for company right now."

"Oh, problems with your wife?"

"Something like that, but like I said before, I really don't want to talk about it."

"Well, it looks like were in the same boat. My husband has ignored me all goddamned day. First it was golf, and now he talking about cars with some guy he doesn't even know. Well fuck him, he brought me here to have a good time. That's just what I intend to do, with or without him."

Jennifer was a good ten years younger than I was, she was attractive, and it would seem, very available. Without another word, she grabbed my arm and pulled. I guess I was drunk enough to just follow her. It didn't even register in my mind what was happening until we were in the elevator. She was taking me to her room.

Jennifer was all over me, as we ascended to the sixth floor. I could hardly walk as she dragged me by the hand, rushing to her room. We must have been in the hallway for five minutes before the card-lock on the door cooperated enough to let us in. This was by far too crazy for me, even in my drunken stupor. Jennifer only made it as far as the bed before she passed out.

I probably couldn't explain to you why I stayed. There was something inside telling me not to leave her here alone. So, I took up residence in the chair by the window. As the hours rolled by, I sobered up, Jennifer was still splattered on the bed, sleeping motionlessly.

It must have been a little after five when the door opened and quietly shut. The man froze as he saw me, he must have been dumbfounded as he remained silent. I then held a finger to my lips, indicating for him to remain quiet. I needed to talk to this guy. He had to know how close he had come to disaster.

I motioned him out into the hallway with my finger still to my lips. I didn't want to chance waking Jennifer.

Once in the hall, I said, " Just don't ask, we need to talk, and we need somewhere more private than this."

"What's this all about?"

"Just follow me, and I'll explain."

We proceeded to the forth floor where my room was. I'd told him my name, and found out his was Brian. Once we had gotten seated at the table in my room, I planned to save Brian some heartache.

"Look Brian, you were about a millimeter away from loosing your wife tonight, unless you are one of those guys with an open marriage?"

"Hell no!"

"That's what I figured, I want you to listen to me, just listen, don't talk. Brian, Jennifer is passed out, she's dead drunk. You left her alone tonight, I'm not going to tell you how to run you're life, but don't you think she deserves a little better from you? If she had picked up any other stranger, you may have walked in to something quite different than me sitting in the chair waiting for you.

"She told me that you pretty much abandoned her today. I'm not one to preach to you right now, but she could be in your room with someone that may have taken advantage of her condition. How would you have felt if she was laying there naked on the bed with another man when you walked in? You don't have to answer, I already know how it feels. I haven't a clue why she chose to hit on me, but consider your self fortunate that she did."

I saw a lot of Justine's behavior resembled in what had happened tonight. As I talked to Brian, I could see how she was not totally responsible for her actions. Jennifer was drunk, and acting very irrationally. If only someone would have been there to help Justine, instead of that prick Jeff.

Brian sat still as I continued, "Brian, if you want to throw away your marriage, that's up to you. I was with a very sad, and very beautiful woman tonight. She's begging for a little attention on the inside, it's up to you how this ends. If I were you, I'd consider it a warning shot. You won't be so lucky the next time."

"Scott, I never even thought, you're right you know. I should have seen it coming, I've been an ass. I promised to pay attention to her while we were here, I guess I have a lot of work ahead of me now to make things right."

"Brian, we don't know each other, but I know what I'm talking about. You can fix your marriage pretty easily if you do it now. The longer you wait, the harder it will be."

"You're right, look, are you going to be here latter? I'd like for Jennifer to meet you when she sobers up."

"I appreciate the offer, but I have somewhere else I need to be. Our talk made me realize that, and I'm going to get on the road as soon as I get packed."

"Scott, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You protected Jennifer and I, I'll never forget this. She means the world to me, I won't let her down again."

Brian left to return to his room, I got the feeling he wasn't too sincere. I doubted he would ever change. He'd listened to what I said, but he was already trying to make another friend to hang out with. He should be spending time with his wife, but he wanted to invite me to spend some time with them. I really saw this as a bad sign, I also saw the difference between Jennifer and Justine, Jennifer had cheating on her mind before she got drunk. Justine was already impaired when it happened.

Some people can't see the forest for the trees, well by god, I wasn't going to be one of them. What I had wasn't perfect, but it was whole lot better than those two looked forward to. I can't say for sure, as I'm no expert at relationships, but Brian wouldn't change and Jennifer would eventually cheat on him.

It was just after six o'clock when I wheeled the Mustang onto the freeway. It would be an eight-hour drive to get home, I wanted to be there more than anywhere in the world. Reno had given me the kick in the ass I'd needed, I was glad I'd gone there, I was just as happy to see it in my rearview mirror.

As I drove, my head was full of what Ed had said to me. My life had changed, it was up to me where the changes led. I thought of where I'd been, and where I was going. I decided that it was time for a something different. I wasn't the same old Scott, and there was no need to pretend to be him. The image that I'd held of my wife was now tainted, it was time for a new Justine as well.

I called Ju a little after nine. I had a favor to ask her, and I had no idea how she would react to it. She surprised me, when she agreed eagerly. She was very excited that I was coming home, honestly I was too.

When I pulled into the garage, Justine ran out to meet me. She was sporting the favor I had asked for, Justine's short brunette hair looked gorgeous on her. It was the very first step on a long road ahead for us, but it was a step in the right direction. Ju wrapped her arms around me, and kissed me until I couldn't breathe. God it was good to be home again, and I'm not talking about our house.

We walked into the house, Ju had her arm around my waist. She looked up and said, "I've missed you so much. What do you think, is it too short?" she asked as she brushed the bangs from her eyes.

"It's perfect, I love the way you look."

"You must be starved, would you like a sandwich?" she asked as I sat at the kitchen table.

"That would be great, I haven't eaten for a while."

"Is turkey ok?"

"Yeah, that's fine. Ju, I have some things to ask you, I had a lot of time to think about us on the drive home..."

"I'm listening."

"I've decided to quit the bank."

"Ok. Would you like some soup with your sandwich?"

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes, your going to quit your job, is vegetable alright, or do you want chicken noodle?"

"I would have thought you might have more to say, my job's been pretty important to us..."

"Scotty, please. I realize what you have meant to me. If you want to do this, I'll support you. You have stood by me most of my life. It's time for me to be there for you."

"Ok, now that it's settled, vegetable would be good."

That was as surreal of a conversation as I'd ever had. I'd expected a fight, and I got soup.

That wasn't my only surprise of the day either. Later that night while I was lying in bed, Ju came out of the bathroom naked. No, that wasn't what shocked me. The curly red bush between her legs was gone, Yep, she was shaved smooth, I'd never seen her bald pussy before. She just smiled and said, "The carpet didn't match the drapes any more, I had to do something."

I hadn't slept for close to two days, but as tired as I was I managed to make love to Ju. It had been a long time for both of us, but we made up for it. I loved the way her smooth pussy tasted, It was so different that way. We had taken another giant step toward the new us.

Justine's mood had changed dramatically in the last week. I had renewed hope, we could make it, I knew we could. We would be different people, this wasn't only about a new job and a new hairdo. My plan was to take a marriage that was old and rusty, and restore it to something to be proud of. I had done it to the Mustang, and with Ju's help we could make our relationship better than new.

When we visited Ed on Thursday, he was genuinely surprised with the progress we'd made in the last week. The session was scheduled to start a dialog between Justine and me, but as we told Ed, we were a lot further along than that. I had moved back into our bedroom, and we were communicating at a carnal level again. The bitchy side of Ju had not reared its ugly head since she had started taking medication.

We talked a little about my trip to Reno, and the turning point in my attitude. This was the first time Justine had heard about Jennifer.

"Yeah, she picked me up in the bar," I stated.

Justine looked over and Ed asked, "Did you ever consider what may have happened?"

"Absolutely, you see, I was very intoxicated. When we got to the elevator, I realized what was happening. This was all new to me, I don't get picked up by strange women. I was a little slow on the uptake. By the time we got to her room, my brain got back into the game. I could have very easily slept with her, well maybe not in the condition we were in, but if the situation was right, and she hadn't passed out, I could have."

Justine looked at the floor and asked, "Why didn't you? I wouldn't have blamed you."

"Probably a lot of reasons, but the main one was you. I remembered the pain that I felt when I saw you... Well I was sober enough to know it was wrong, and I had commitments to you. Wedding vows, a lifetime together, our son, the promise to stand by you while you were trying to work through your problems and I still loved you too much to hurt you."

Justine was crying now, so Ed asked, " Did you leave then?"

"No, I waited for her husband to return. I talked to him about his problems, I was trying to give him a heads up before he was in the same situation as I was. It's kind of funny now, but talking to him made me realize that my problem wasn't the same as his. I won't say that what Justine did was an accident, but I know now it wasn't ever her intention to cheat on me. Jennifer was trying to use me to get back at Brian, it was intentional and hurtful."

"Scotty, I'm so sorry," Ju managed to say between sobs.

"Ju," I said to her, as I got on my knees and held her hands, "You've got to quit beating yourself up over this, I forgive you. If you can't let it go, it will never be over."

Ed smiled, "God, I love my job when others do all the work. Scott, I'd say you've come around now, I think you have come to the conclusion life isn't as simple as yes or no. There are a lot of ifs and maybes. We can't always make decisions based on what we see, there are circumstances to factor in. "

"Ed, you've taught an old dog a few things. Ju and I will be making some big changes, not only in our relationship but in our lifestyle as well. We've talked about how we were secluded in a way that we didn't even realize, there is so much more out there to experience and we want to enjoy our time together."

"Justine, how do you feel about all of this?" asked Ed.

"I couldn't be happier, Scott has been so wonderful. I've put him through hell, and he still loves me. I'm actually looking forward to new adventures with him."

"How are you doing with your therapy?" "Well, I've only had a couple of sessions, but I'm opening up a little more each time. The doctor feels that we are making progress."

"How have you been feeling overall?"

"I can honestly say, I haven't felt this good in years."

"Oh, by the way, I like your new hairstyle," he said, to a now blushing Justine.

Ed had scheduled us for a checkup in a few months. We were doing well, he felt no need to continue our weekly meetings.

We spent the rest of the day doing the things we did when we were dating. We ate lunch at a burger joint downtown, the fries were so greasy they were hard to hold, it was great. We saw an afternoon movie, neither of us could remember the last time we'd even been in a theatre. The back seat of a car is no place for old folks, but it was fun and brought back a lot of memories.

When my early retirement came through, we sold our house in the suburbs. I thought Ju would have a hard time with it, but she never even looked back when we left. We moved to a small town outside of the city. Ju found a great house on a few acres, I loved it. I started construction on the shop right away.

Shop? Yep, we started our own restoration business. With a great deal of work, Bobby's help and Jeff's money, we build and restore hotrods. Justine manages the office, and I try to stay out of Bobby's way. Well, I am the Boss, isn't that what they do? The shop is doing very well, It allows Ju and I to travel a lot. We look at cars all over the country for new ideas.

Justine still sees her psychiatrist, there was a combination of unrelated events that contributed to her meltdown. She had been abused at an early age by a relative, and there were issues about a failed relationship in high school, Justine turning forty a few years ago compounded these. And when our son moved across country, Justine's mind revolted. There is more to it, and probably more to come, but we accept it and know what to look for.

If any one cares, I went to court for my road rage. I paid a stiff fine and had my driving privileges revoked for six months. The judge must have been in a bad mood, but it could have been worse. You should have been there to see Justine trying to learn how to drive the stick shift in the Mustang, it was hilarious. She caught on pretty quick, I don't think I'll ever get to drive that car again. Ju tells me it's hers now, and I should build my own. I might get it done before I get my license back, I have my eye on a sharp '71 Barracuda.

Was, I too easy on Justine? Probably. Do I regret it? No, not one bit. She was worth the risk. I learned a lot in the last year, it wasn't all good either. There were times I wanted to give up, and let it all dissolve. But today, I'm thankful that I didn't. Each day with Justine, is more precious to me than gold. She isn't only my wife, she is my lover, my best friend, and my world.

Anyway, I found if I would have done anything to hurt her, I probably would be sleeping with the fishes. Timmy would have had me whacked, Mario may not be connected, but Tim, now there's a different story altogether.