Wife's Wedding Mis-Adventure

Two weeks after the home intrusion, Annie asked to speak with Frank after dinner. Once the dishes were clean, they retired to the living room, and she passed him the papers.

"I know you can't trust me, but I hope this will help. I want us to get past this, Frank, and you have to know I'll do whatever you ask. I screwed up, and I want to make up for it.

"You also should know that I've stopped drinking. Not a drop of hard liquor ever again. No more than one glass of wine or beer, and only with you. Not a single sip if you're not present. I don't ever want to get that drunk again."

Frank read the papers carefully, without discussion. He went back and read the first page again, which had most of what mattered, ignoring the secondary clauses about where it was legal, severability, non-waiver language and other such junk. "You're serious about this?"

"One hundred percent."

"I get one free pass?"

"One. Only one. Not a weekend, nothing like that. I hope you won't ever use it, but it wouldn't be fair if you paid the same price as me, without it."

"Nothing? The cheater gets nothing?"

"Nothing that the other person doesn't want to give them. Legally, they're entitled to nothing."

"Let me get this straight. If you cheat once, and according to this that means oral, anal or vaginal intercourse with anyone but me, the divorce takes effect immediately."

"No. The divorce papers are legally signed, and enforceable. We still would have to go through the 60 days waiting period. This just agrees to what the terms are, and are signed and witnessed. You would still have to have our attorney file them, if you decide that's what you wanted to do."

"And the same applies to me?"

"After your one free pass. Otherwise, it's 50/50. The details are all there."

"What's your thinking behind giving me a free pass?" Frank asked.

"It's not a free pass. Not really. I'm not saying you can go out there and screw anyone you want, with no recriminations. It means that if you slip one time, I can't file this for that reason. Only if you do it a second time. It also states, on the second page which you seemed to skim, that I have to tell you when you've used your free pass, so I can't wait until you've done it twice and surprise you with the contract." She looked up from her copy of the papers. "I'd be really pissed if you did do it more than once, and I found out about it. I don't know if our marriage would survive that."

She looked back at the paper. "Don't forget section nine. Rape doesn't count, nor does any action with written permission."

"You don't really believe I'm going to give you written permission to screw around, do you?" Frank snapped.

"Of course not. The lawyer insisted on it. He had all kinds of bizarre reasons, being in a coma, permanent physical disability, blackmail. I think it's bullshit, but then again, if we're never going to sign something like that, it shouldn't matter, right?"

Frank put down the papers. "This doesn't make things right, you know. You cheated on me, you lied to me, and you publicly humiliated me."

Annie nodded. "I know it doesn't. I don't know what will. I'm hoping this will start us on the road to recovery. I'm willing to see a marriage counselor if it will help. Just tell me what I have to do, Frank."

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this. It's like hanging a sword over our marriage. Without trust, what do we have?"

"You can't trust me right now, Frank. I understand that. I went against everything I believe in. I'd love you to be able to trust me again someday. When that day comes, if you want to burn that agreement, I'll be all for it. For now, it's a start. Please sign it, and say we can start over."

"What happens next, if I do sign it?"

She moved closer to him, putting her hand on his thigh. "I'm hoping you'll invite me to share your bed again, or at the very least, agree to letting me try to seduce you. I miss you, honey. I miss being with you." Her hand wandered higher, rubbing his thigh. "I want to make it up to you, but you've taken away my best weapon. Let me love you again, and I swear to you, you won't regret it. If you have any fantasies you've been thinking about, that don't involve bringing anyone else in our bedroom, I'm gonna do my damnedest to make them come true."

"I guess that means no Kate Upton," Frank said, grinning.

"No, but I'll wear a paint only bikini, do the cat-daddy for you, and you can even call me Katie while we do it." She laughed. "Kate Upton, really?"

Frank shrugged. "I always thought you looked like her. It would almost be like having twins."

She laughed. "Really? You think I look like her?"

"Only prettier," Frank said.

Annie stood up. "I think I'm going to take a shower, then get in our bed naked. If you sign those papers, you can do whatever you want with me."

"And if I don't?"

"You can do anything you want with me, but no Kate Upton."

Frank signed the papers, and he was impressed with his wife's 'Dougie'. Once Annie had spent a couple of hours proving that she would do anything for him, they showered together, and climbed back in bed. They fell asleep in each others arms. Frank woke in the night to find his wife crying beside him. He pulled her close. "What's wrong, Annie?" he asked.

"I was so afraid, Frank. Afraid I'd ruined everything, and that we'd never get to do that again. That I'd never fall asleep next to you. I'm so sorry."

"You certainly screwed things up. At least it's old news. Do you think 'holier-than-thou' Jane really had a gangbang with her husband's four brothers?"

"Only three of them. The youngest one was left out. I heard he's really pissed."

"And Tim's Sheila? I find that one hard to believe."

"Nah, that one's bullshit. Yeah, she danced with the guy, but she really was in the bathroom getting sick for all that time. Gina saw her. I don't think she'd cheat on Tim."

"Mmm. I think she said the same about you."

"She was right. Not sober I wouldn't. I'm a stupid drunk, aren't I?"

"Pretty much. You always got randy when you drank. I thought it was only for me."

"Sorry, baby."

He was half asleep when he heard her giggle.

"Go to sleep, Annie."

"Kate Upton?"

"A lot of men think she's sexy."

"Tell you what. If you ever get a chance to have sex with her, I want you to go for it. I won't even count it as your one freebie." She giggled again. "Would you really try to get her to do that stupid dance?"

"Go to sleep."

"I'm serious, honey. You get a shot at her, do it. Hell, you can even bring her home, and we'll do your twins fantasy."

"I'm going to sleep now." Frank conveniently forgot to mention that his cousin worked for Kate's PR team. Stranger things had happened. Right?

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