Women's Studies Ch. 10

"I guess," Abigail answered, oblivious to Kennedy's innuendo as she continued to fiddle with her glass. "The soreness is all over really."

"Stop it, Kennedy," I laughed.

"What?" Abigail asked, finally looking up to see the wide grin on Kennedy's face.

"She was implying that you're sore from all the sex you were having," I illuminated her.

"Ewww!" Abigail squealed shaking her head. "I was there with my dad!"

"I didn't say it had to be with him," Kennedy laughed. "Though, I probably wouldn't say no to him. You didn't meet any nice boys out on the slopes?"

"No," Abigail blushed. "I did not."

"What about you Kennedy?" I asked, trying to shift the focus from the embarrassed Abigail. "Did you have a good holiday?"

"I got a little mistletoe action," Kennedy shrugged before turning the conversation on me. "Nothing compared to you, I'm sure."

"What do you mean by that," I asked.

"You didn't see your special friend when you went home?" Kennedy asked with a knowing smile.

"How do you know about Josh?" I asked surprised. I hadn't even told them about it yet.

"Josh?" Kennedy asked, even more intrigued now. "I was talking about your friend Dreya, but we can come back to that. Who's Josh?"

"Yeah, who's Josh?" Abigail asked smiling, effectively teaming up on me now.

"Do you remember me telling you where I learned to fight?" I asked. "That's Josh."

"That's the who, now we want details," Kennedy said leaning forward slightly.

"There's no details," I said innocently.

"We were all talking about sex and you bring up this Josh guy," Kennedy said. "I'm not buying it. Spill it girl."

I had never planned on keeping it a secret from them, but I hadn't planned on being put on the spot like this.

"I had to pretend to be Alex when I went home. It was horrible. Nearly the whole time I felt disgusting and awkward. I couldn't wait for it to end so I could come back here and be Lexi again. Dreya knew how I was feeling, and she took me out for New Year's as Lexi," I told them. "It was going great, and it felt amazing to be myself again."

"I didn't plan on it, but I ran right into Josh at the club we were at," I continued. "He didn't recognize me at first, but I slipped up I guess and then...he knew. He wasn't disgusted or anything, and he was really nice. He hung out with us for the rest of the night and at midnight he kissed me. After that we danced, and one thing led to another, and then I was at his place and we were...having sex," I finished slowly.

"You popped your cherry?" Kennedy asked excitedly.

"If you want to get technical, you did that," I said.

"That doesn't count," Kennedy dismissed with a wave of her hand. "You really did it? He put his dick inside of you?"

"Yeah. He did," I blushed, hiding my embarrassment in my glass.

"What did it feel like?" Abigail asked.

"It was incredible," I answered honestly. "It was a little painful at first, but once we got going it was wonderful. I came so hard."

"Wow!" Kennedy breathed, taking another long swallow of her beer. "I mean, I figured it would happen eventually, but I'm surprised it happened so soon," she smiled.

"I didn't plan for it," I said. "I didn't even know I was ready for that, but when I ran into him, everything just felt right. He was nice and sincere, and when we got back to his place, he was so gentle...It just felt...right," I said again, unable to find any other words.

"Isn't it uncomfortable though?" Abigail asked. "I mean, things aren't supposed to go up there."

"They might not be supposed to, but oh-my-god did it feel amazing after the pain faded," I sighed remembering.

The alcohol in me had already started to take effect, and any reservations I had about sharing details was apparently fading fast.

"So, what about Dreya?" Kennedy asked.

"Your Playboy friend?" Abigail asked. "Did you guys have a thing? It seemed like you guys had a thing."

"If by a thing you mean, had sex on multiple occasions, including outside the Library up against the wall during the back to school bash...then yes," Kennedy said smiling. "So, how about it? Did you and she get some alone time?"

"You totally did!" Kennedy laughed seeing my blushes.

"In the church...at the Christmas party after Christmas Mass...on the altar," I told them.

"Oh my god!" Kennedy exclaimed.

"You did not have sex in a church!" Abigail gasped at the same time, shocked.

"Keep your voice down!" I scolded as I took a look around to see if anyone noticed. "We were both there...for the party, and things just sort of happened," I explained.

I knew neither of them was upset that I had sex with someone else. We were really close friends who loved each other, and occasionally made each other feel good. There weren't any delusions between us about what our sexual relationship was, and we were all happy with it.

One thing that was awkward though, was talking about having sex with Dreya. Dreya was the name that my sister sometimes used when she wanted to fly under the radar. Being a famous Playboy model and porn star, sometimes people would approach her in public wanting autographs, or just guys wanting to try and flirt with her because they had seen her naked.

Kennedy knew who Dreya really was, but Abigail still didn't. It was a secret I didn't want to keep from her, but how exactly do you tell your best friend that you've fucked your own sister multiple times, and on several different occasions? What, no good ideas? Me either.

"That sounds so hot!" Kennedy said, her hand unconsciously slipping off the table to rest by her crotch.

"Weren't you afraid of getting caught?" Abigail asked.

"My heart was pounding the whole time," I said. "But after we got into it, a bomb probably could have gone off without us knowing."

After my little tale, Kennedy got up to get us another round of drinks. She returned with three more shots and another pitcher of beer. We slammed our new shots, and after a few moments of silence as we let the liquid settle, Abigail spoke up.

"I kissed a boy!" Abigail blurted out. "He was staying at our hotel and we kept running into each other. He was cute and we kissed and stuff," she said blushing profusely.

"Good for you!" I said, putting an arm around her and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"And stuff?" Kennedy asked, picking up on her vagueness. "I want to hear about this and stuff."

"You know..." Abigail said. "we touched and stuff."

"Did you touch his penis?" Kennedy asked excitedly. "Did he finger you?"

"Yes," Abigail said shyly. Her cheeks were so bright with embarrassment now.

"Way to go Abby!" Kennedy exclaimed.

It must have taken a lot of courage for Abigail to tell us that. After she finished speaking, she buried her rosy cheeks into her cup, taking a long pull on her beer. Abigail had a habit of being deathly shy and accident prone around boys. For her to find herself making out and groping with a boy, and without Kennedy and I for support...It was a big deal.

We spent most of our evening laughing and drinking in almost equal measures. It was only half past eleven when we had to call it quits. We payed out the tab that we eventually opened, and leaving Kennedy's car, we called a cab. There was no way any of us was fit to drive.

As we rode back to the dorms in a fit of giggles in the back of the cab, I had a feeling like I had somehow slipped into the perfect life. Everything felt perfect at that moment. The drunken pessimist inside of me should have known better than to let me jinx myself.

"Lexi and Josh, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" my friends sang drunkenly as we carried each other up the stairs. "First comes love, then comes marriage..."

"For Christ's sake," I cut them off. "We slept together once. That's it!"

After a quick look between each other from either side of me, they giggled and began again. "Lexi and Josh, sitting in a tree..."

I was glad that the dorms were still mostly empty and there weren't that many people, if any, to hear them. Their voices echoed off the wood and plaster walls, all the way down the hall and into our common room. As soon as we made it into our room the wonder twins finally cut off as they flopped onto the bed.

"I think we drank too much," Abigail mumbled. "We shouldn't have done those last shots," she slurred.

"You ordered them," I giggled.

"They were so good though," Kennedy sighed happily.

Being the most sober one of the group, and not by much, I began peeling off their shoes from their feet hanging off the edge of the bed.

"This girl is sho pretty," Abigail slurred, shifting and picking up Kennedy's Playboy that was still lying on the bed. "I would sho do her. Would you do her with me?" Abigail asked tilting her head to gaze at Kennedy lying beside her.

"Oh yeah," Kennedy said, tilting her head to the side so that their faces were only inches apart.

"Let's see her naked!" Abigail laughed as I began to peel off my own clothes.

Abigail began to drunkenly flip through the pages near the center trying to find what she was looking for. It took some time to get out of my skintight jeans, and during that whole time the two of them were giggling and oohing and ahhing over what they were seeing. They sounded like every thirteen-year-old that saw his first porno...if thirteen-year-old's slurred that much. I found the whole thing hilarious.

"Wait, this isn't her!" Abigail slurred, sounding shocked and a little upset as the two of them stared at the centerfold. "This says Audrey, not Dreya. Where's Dreya? I want to see Dreya!"

"Trust me, it's her," Kennedy said. "I would know that body anywhere."

"Hey Lexi!" Abigail nearly shouted to me only a few feet away. "This girl's last name is Allen too! You could be sisters!"

As soon as those words left her mouth, I flinched as if I had been struck. In the brief moment of silence that followed, I prayed that her drunken mind would go back to staring at the naked woman on the page and forget whatever she might be thinking. I prayed, but everything still fell apart. I guess that's what I get for desecrating a house of God with my own sister.

"Wait a second," Abigail said pulling herself up in a seated position. "this is Dreya. What? Why?" she tried shaking the cobwebs from her head. "Why does Dreya have your name? And why is Dreya's name Audrey Allen?"

"I think you really have had too much to drink," I said, reaching for the magazine, trying desperately to get her to drop this. "I think it's bedtime."

"Is Dreya your sister?" Abigail asked, the pieces finally clicking together for her. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, looking hurt now.

"It's nothing," I tried. Now I was just desperately hoping she would be too drunk to remember this in the morning.

"It's not nothing!" Abigail shouted. "You said you wouldn't keep secrets from me! You lied to me! You both lied to me!" she continued, shouting as she stumbled out of bed and onto her feet, now facing Kennedy as well.

"You knew who she was all along!" Abigail accused her. "You had to, you had this!" she said holding up the magazine. "And you," she said, turning her anger back on me, "you had sex with your sister?" she asked with a look I can only call revulsion.

Her words hurt, but that look...that look nearly took the wind out of me. I wanted so badly to tell her that it wasn't what she thought, but how could I? It was exactly what she thought it was. I slept with my own sister.

"You're disgusting!" Abigail said looking at me.

"Abigail!" I pleaded.

"No!" she shouted, stopping me. "You're a freak!"

I didn't know what it was, but something in me seemed to snap. This girl really was my best friend. I kept one small thing from her, and she was treating me like I was something repulsive? How exactly was I supposed to tell someone I had just met, and hardly knew, that I slept with my own sister? Hey, my name's Lexi. I'm your dormmate. I have a penis, and I like to use it to fuck my own sister. That wasn't something you could just go sharing around. Kennedy wouldn't have even known if it wasn't for her insane crush on my sister since she herself was in puberty.

"Fuck you!" I shouted back. "You don't get to judge me! I'm my own woman! I can do what I want, and who I want. Maybe if you weren't such a sheltered daddy's girl you would know that not everyone is as perfect and innocent as you!"

As soon as I ran out of breath, I knew I had gone too far, but that look she had on her face was more than I could take in my current condition. I wanted to say something, anything to take back what I had just said, but I couldn't.

The silence that followed was deafening as both Kennedy and Abigail watched me. Finally, Abigail grabbed her pillow and stormed out of the room, slamming the door on her way out.

"Shit," Kennedy nearly whispered as the door clicked shut. "That could have gone better."

"I just want to go to sleep," I said, trying to diffuse any opening for further conversation.

I peeled off my top and climbed under the covers, and a few moments later Kennedy shut out the light and joined me. The room felt like it was spinning as I tried to fall asleep, and I couldn't stop thinking about what had just happened.

When Kennedy had found out my secret, she found out about everything all at once. It was such a relief when she told me she was okay with everything. To be honest, almost everything had been going well for me lately. All the people that new about me being a girl now had been super accepting about it. I had been starting to think that it might not be so bad for people to know about the real me. The world had been changing over the last few years, but I guess incest was still something that hardly anyone was ready to accept.

In the beginning, I tried to find a way to fix what had just happened, but the longer I thought about it, the more upset I was. By the time I slipped into my drunken unconsciousness, I was furious.

*** *** ***

I woke up with a massive headache. My temples were throbbing and even my eyes hurt. The light was shining in through the window, and the bed felt surprisingly empty with only Kennedy sprawled out next to me. For a few moments, I wondered where Abigail was, until I remembered the fight we'd had the night before.

I was hoping that Abigail had been so wasted that she had forgotten all about our fight. It wouldn't be a stretch; we all had a lot to drink. At the same time, I was still upset about what she had said to me. Whether she remembered or not, I didn't think I could ever forget what she said, or the way she looked at me.

After checking the clock on the stand next to me, I groaned and pulled myself out of bed. Being careful not to wake Kennedy, who smartly only had afternoon classes on Mondays, I grabbed my things and went to take a quick shower before classes.

The warm water felt great against my skin and eased some of my hangover. Afterwards I quickly dressed and applied some makeup before rushing off to my first class of the semester.

As shitty as I felt, both emotionally and physically, I should have just stayed in bed. All the instructor did was slowly go through the syllabus and explain some of the lab equipment, which I already knew most of. I sat in the back rubbing my temples for the first fifteen minutes before pulling out my laptop to continue my quest for breasts.

There honestly wasn't that much more work to do. I had already narrowed down my choice for surgeon to two finalists, and the first one that could see me would probably be the one doing the deed. All I really did was flip through the pictures that Kennedy had emailed me of different breast sizes and shapes.

As soon as we were dismissed, I was hurrying out the door five steps ahead of anyone else, with my phone already in my hand. As I walked back to the dorm, I called to make an appointment for a consultation. The woman on the other end of the line took my information, and before I got back to my room, I had an appointment for Wednesday.

"Hey," I said, lacking any of my usual pep, as I entered my room to see a very disheveled Kennedy sitting up in bed, obviously having just woken up.

"Hey," she called back groggily, scratching the sleep from her eyes. "You just getting back?"

"Yeah. It's almost noon," I said, unloading a couple of books from my bag and replacing them with two more of equal weight. "Are you going to class today, or are you skipping it, sleepy head?"

"Haven't decided yet," she mumbled, falling back down onto her pillow. "We drank too much last night."

"Where's Abigail?" Kennedy asked.

"I don't know...class I guess," I replied. "She wasn't here when I woke up."

"Last night...blew donkey balls," she finished. "Stupid fucking magazine. We were all blitzed, how did she even put all that together. I mean who reads anything when they're looking at a girly mag? Even the names."

"I don't know how she did it, but..." I paused. "I don't know."

"She was really mad," Kennedy said uncomfortably.

"She called me a freak," I said, feeling my anger rising again remembering it.

"I'm sure she didn't mean it," Kennedy assured me. "She was drunk. I'll talk to her. Who knows, maybe she doesn't even remember it."

"Only if my luck has changed," I sighed.

The things Abigail said really hurt, and not enjoying that sinking feeling that they were causing in my stomach, I changed the subject and told Kennedy about my appointment for a breast consultation. We spent the next half hour talking about it, until I had to go to my next class, and Kennedy had to finally get ready for her first one.

It wasn't until later that night that I saw Kennedy again. Abigail was still out when Kennedy came back to the room.

"Well, she remembers," Kennedy said, tossing her book bag across the room. "And she's not talking to me either. I saw her after my Econ class, and she wouldn't even unclench her teeth long enough to tell me to go to hell. All she did was avoid me like I had the Herp."

"Why is she mad at you?" I asked. "It's not like you did anything wrong."

"Don't ask me," Kennedy said, half throwing up her hands. "It's not like she told me or anything."

When we came back from dinner, I finally saw Abigail. She was sitting at the table in the kitchen area of our suite with her laptop and two books open, doing schoolwork presumably. She looked up long enough to notice us, and without a word went back to what appeared to be some vicious typing on her laptop. Again, she slept out on the couch in the common area.

The next day was filled with a mix of emotions. I was thrilled and excited about the breasts I was going to be getting soon, but furious and upset about the rift between Abigail and I. I understood that incest was a pretty taboo area, but I just couldn't see why she would be this upset about it. It had nothing to do with her. I would have thought this would have been the least of my transgressions. Hell, she took finding out about my cock pretty damn well, and we had been living together in the same room for months before she found out.

Since there was nothing I could see to do about Abigail, I tried to focus on my breasts. Right now, it was really the only thing that could lift my spirits.

Late Tuesday night, I lie awake in bed next to Kennedy trying to fall asleep. With my doctor's appointment the next morning, and other thoughts about my personal life swimming through my mind, I just couldn't fall asleep.

I knew I wasn't going to be having surgery on my first visit, but just doing anything that moved me closer to my breasts was exciting. As for the other, more personal things, it felt awkward sleeping in such a huge bed without Abigail with us. Having Kennedy next to me was nice, but without Abigail, it felt like I was missing a part of myself.