A Prison Break Ch. 03

She didn't look happy but to be honest, I didn't really give a shit. She stood at the rear of the tub staring at me. I finished washing my legs and feet, then turned around to rinse off. I faced her again. "So? You just gonna stand there, or are you going to get on your knees and start sucking?"

She looked me in the eyes. I'm not sure but hers may have been tearing a little. She knelt down and wrapped her little hand around the base of my prick. She engulfed the head, her tongue laving it, then she started bobbing.

I gripped a handful of her now damp hair. I started pushing and pulling my cock into her sucking mouth. My voice was a growl, "That's it, baby, fuck it with your mouth."

She really was a great little cocksucker. I tried to decide if I would fuck her mouth a little harder and deeper, then make her swallow it, or fuck her mouth harder and deeper, not shoot, then take her to the bed and fuck her good and hard.

My other hand gripped some hair. I pulled her head towards me as I pushed forward with my throbbing prick. "Yeah, that's it, fuck it with your mouth." I heard her gag a little. I really didn't give a shit.

* * *

I waited to speak until the waitress had finished refilling my coffee cup and walked away. I looked at Lana. "I know this community college you'll be attending, isn't... probably isn't as intense as a four year school, but I think you should try to do well, actually... actually do the homework assignments, not just blow it off like you did in high school. I... I think it's important you keep those universities in mind, you know, transferring next year or... or maybe the following year."

Her brow tensed. "What? I did homework in high school."

"You did? I never saw you doing homework, hell, I rarely saw you with any text books." My brow pinched. How could I make that claim? I really wasn't around when she left for school, although was around sometimes when she returned home, for a month or so after the wedding. I had been laid off. Had I even looked for her carrying some bag or backpack? Probably not.

"What do you think I was doing in my room those nights I wasn't in the living room or out? A lot of the homework was online."

I realized things had really changed in a dozen or so years since I had been in high school. "Oh... I guess I never thought about it." My brow pinched again. I had never seen a report card she had gotten, not even after Barb had gone to prison. I either didn't think about it or didn't care. I hadn't thought about it. "What... what were your grades like?"

"Mostly A's and B's, a few C's."

I was shocked. I wondered why Barb never mentioned Lana's grades. Did she even know? "Oh... uh... okay."

"I know how to study."

"Yeah, I guess you do." I tried to recall my high school grades. All I could remember was that I didn't get many As, got a handful of Ds and a big F in Algebra II. I looked into Lana's pretty eyes and made up my mind. A smile started forming on my mouth. "So... I was thinking of getting you a pencil case and book satchel, or... would you rather have a... a laptop? I hear college kids use those." It was going to take all the money I had been able to sock away after all the bills, but I figured what the hell.

Lana's face lit up. "Are you kidding? Really?"

She grinned and I loved seeing her smile. It was worth the money. "Yeah, really. Maybe not the top of the line model though, okay?"

Her grin grew. "Yes."

* * *

We were on the bed. I was lying on my back. Lana was sitting up, straddling me. Her delicate, hands were flat on my upper chest. Mine were on the outside of her smooth thighs, moving up and down with her hips. Her head was tilted down, her hair forming a veil around most of her pretty face. She was watching my hard cock appear and disappear again and again into her slippery, tight channel. I was pushing up to meet her descending wet warmth.

I wished I had a few beers in me because I'd probably be ramming upward into her perfect little pussy with more intensity, and wouldn't be feeling so much emotion at the moment. I felt so close to her and craved to feel this, yet it also made me feel so damn guilty and unworthy, about her and about Barb too. She should be with some guy her own age, and I should keep my marriage vows. But, jeezuz... I wanted her so damn much.

Lana shoved down to meet my rising rod the hardest yet. She stayed down and grinded her hips ardently. Her face rose then she flicked her head to get her hair away from her face. Her lips were parted and she was panting. Her dazzling blue eyes met mine. She blinked. Her churning slowed.

She whispered, "What?"

I was breathing heavily too. I shook my head slightly. "Nothing. Just... you look so beautiful right now." Her hip movements slowed even more. My hands slid to her waist. "Would you mind coming down here for a kiss?"

Her lips pursed for a moment, her eyes teared a little, then her hands slid up to my shoulders as her torso lowered. Her arms encircled my head on the pillow. When her face was close to mine, she gazed into my eyes for a couple seconds, then her lips met mine. Her mouth opened, our tongues danced sensually. My arms encompassed her. My groin pushed upward, she mirrored it pushing down with her hips that kept churning slowly. Jeezuz, it felt wonderful to me. The kiss became more passionate. My guilt started to wane just leaving the other emotions I knew I shouldn't be feeling.

Lana moaned into my mouth. I think she was rubbing her clit against my pubic bone. The thought of that brought me closer to orgasm. My right hand slid down to her perfect ass, cupping and firmly squeezing each of her delectable cheeks. She moaned again. The kiss grew more passionate. Two of my fingertips touched her tailbone, then coursed down into the warm, deep valley of her bottom. I touched her torrid little hole, then firmly massaged circles over and around the squinting orifice. I pushed up a little higher with my hips, she mirrored it again, pushing down as her hips kept churning slowly. I felt her shiver, then twitch.

Lana abruptly broke the kiss and pressed her face into the side of my neck. Little twitches and shakes were added to her trembling. She whispered, "Oh... ohgod... I'm... I'm gonna... oh..."

My hips also started churning. "Do it, sweetheart. Cum... I want to feel you cum."

"I... I want you to."

"I will." I started thrusting, short strokes. God... she felt so perfect around me. I shut my eyes tightly. I was close too, not just from the physical sensations, it was more than that. The very tip of my middle finger wiggled and dipped into her ass. Lana tensed and twitched hard.

"Oh... ohgod... I luh... I lov... uhhhhh... h-h-hold me... t-t-tight." Her shaking grew more pronounced.

I felt spasms in her channel. My ass lowered and then it jerked up again as I shoved my cock hard into her depths. My hips didn't lower. My body tensed and the first spurt of hot seed shot up my throbbing rod and spewed into her. I pulled my fingertip from her little hole and gripped her bun while my other arm around her back held her tighter.

"Oh.... oh... mmmmmmh," Lana moaned as my cock pumped a half dozen dollops of my hot seed into her.

When my body loosened, I still kept my ass off the mattress for a few seconds, then slowly lowered to the sheet. I moved my hand from her ass and that arm went around her back too. We were both gasping for air. Lana's breath felt hot and moist against my neck. I was glad my cock wasn't shrinking fast. It felt perfect inside her. It was like being home. I tried not to remember I had the same sensation with Barb on quite a few occasions. I shook my head to make the thought disappear. Yeah, Lana felt like home too. I reminded myself not to say anything to her that would make a complicated situation even more so. I felt Lana tremble and knew it wasn't orgasmic. She was crying softly, without a sound, but it made her breathing even more erratic.

I turned my head and gave her hairline a kiss. I whispered, "You're so beautiful, Lana. I know I don't deserve you."

She sniffled. "Hold me... just hold me tighter."

I did.

* * *

CHAPTER 11

I had been able to hide everything from Barb for over three months, and the visitations, for the most part, had gone well but I anticipated the next few visits were going to be depressing if not full of tension. Barb was coming up to the end of her first year in prison. That anniversary was in less than two weeks. It didn't seem at all like a year to me, but I figured it felt like ten to her.

The visit began as usual. I got to Barb first, we murmured our code without any problem. Lana got through the check-in line and came to the table, hugged Barb tightly and sat down. We did our usual game of guessing what the Sunday lunch had been for the prisoners, the fragrance, or more correctly, the odor, usually hung in the dining hall during the first part of every visit. I guessed meatloaf, Lana said fish sticks. Barb said it had been chicken strips that tasted like a cross between meatloaf and fish, mishloaf. She had been making cute, dumb jokes like that for a couple months.

Barb voiced her usual questions. She asked Lana to tell her everything about her past week at college, what she was studying in each course that week, did she still like her teachers, had she met any new nice people. She then asked me about work and anything else I had been doing. Lana told her she was still trying to get a part-time job, still returning to the mall stores just to show her face. We both told Barb how good she was looking, which happened to be true. She really did look healthier and even younger.

When the questioning segment was over, I stood up and asked who wanted a soda. I went to the machine and got three, looking back at the table as I waited in the short line, glad to see Barb and Lana talking. When I returned with the sodas, as usual, things got a little quieter. Probably all of us trying to think of something new to say.

I figured Barb not only didn't want to talk about what happened in her daily life because it would make her sad, but also stayed quiet about it because she didn't want to scare or worry Lana or me, nor have us pity her. And not even counting the new relationship Lana and I had, both she and I were always concerned if we said anything too interesting or exciting, it would make Barb just hate being in prison even more, just talking about a new movie one or both of us had seen. I guess we were all worried our conversations could be emotional mine fields.

During a silent moment I smiled softly at Barb and she suddenly looked nervous as she sipped her soda. She still seemed that way to me as she set the can down and her eyes moved to Lana. Barb spoke softly, "Honey, would you mind giving us a few minutes alone to talk?"

Lana's face expressed concern, then her eyes glanced back and forth between her mother and me. "Um... sure. I'll... um... how long?"

"A few minutes, honey. Maybe five."

Lana looked at me for longer than I thought she should have. She pushed her chair back. "I'll... maybe get one of the...um... forms for... um, bringing food, I guess. Or... maybe get us candy bars."

Barb smiled. "Thanks, sweetheart."

Barb and I watched her walk away. I had no idea what Barb wanted to talk about, maybe my gut did though. It twisted tight. I felt Barb's hand slide over mine on the table top. I looked at her. She was gazing at our hands. I felt her thumb slowly stroking. She seemed more nervous, maybe scared.

Barb had answered our little code right at the beginning of the visit. I wasn't sure what could be on her mind. The dead kid? I don't know why I said, "Is... Is this about Lana's community college work? I believe she's really appl..."

Barb interrupted, "No, not Lana." She took a quick breath. "I... I believe her too. I'm so glad she seems to really be applying herself."

I didn't want to mention she had in high school too which neither of us had noticed. "Is... something wrong, sweetheart? What... do you wanna talk about? You're not having any trouble with the gangs are you? Or... or something?" Had she been afraid to tell me earlier?

Barb looked very nervous and her eyes teared slightly. "No... it's not about the gangs." She took a slow breath. "Um... I... I want to talk about..." She took a sip of her soda.

My guilt swelled even more. I actually felt short of breath for a few moments. Had she figured it out? I knew if I was in her shoes, all I'd think about during the week would be these goddamn visits, replaying every word, every expression, wondering why Lana had changed, why... why a lot of things seemed to have changed. I'd be thinking of every possibility, every scenario. Then my anxiety shot up even higher when I thought she might have started some damn sexual liaison with one of the fuckin' male guards. "It's… it's not about a guard is it?" I quickly looked around searching for the male guards watching the inmates and visitors. None of them were looking at us.

"What? A... a guard? No, it's not about a guard. It's... it's about us."

Again, I couldn't breathe.

Barb began a softly and slowly spoken monologue. She said Lana and I were the only things, the only people she cared about, the only people she loved. She now really thought that when she got out, she and Lana might be able to start over, to get closer, to have a good relationship as mother and daughter, or maybe just as good friends. Maybe both. She said it would take a lot of work on her own part, she knew she had years of bad mothering to make up for, and knew she'd never be able to take another drink when she was released. She said that everyday she felt stronger about staying sober, especially now that it seemed that she and Lana had a chance to start over.

She stopped talking, just stared at our hands. My self-loathing and self-hatred kept growing. I couldn't think of a single thing to say, so my other hand caressed hers for a few moments.

Barb looked up at me. Her eyes were more teary. She gave me that sad smile that might mean she was about to cry. She looked back at our hands and then continued speaking softly and slowly.

She said she knew how unfair her being in prison was to me. She said she had always believed that I did love her, but she wasn't sure how much until recently. She said I was the only guy she had ever really loved. She said she had believed when she was incarcerated, that I'd stop visiting her every week after a couple months, that the time between visits would just get longer until I stopped coming at all. She said she was sure, and scared to death she was right, that I'd find some other woman, and maybe leave her, divorce her. She didn't believe I could possibly love her so much that I wouldn't do that, that I would wait for her. She said she had been very concerned about Lana and the possibility she might be put into foster care, which was the main reason she wanted me to sign the guardian papers, but part of the reason was that she thought it might also make me stay with her too.

She cried a little then. Her free hand took a napkin and wiped her eyes. She swallowed a couple times and took another sip of soda before continuing.

She said that if our roles were reversed, she wasn't sure if she could have stuck with me. She was ashamed to admit that, but she might not have been strong enough. Maybe that was one of the reasons she kept thinking I'd just stop coming to visit and take up with another woman. She said again that she really, really did love me though, and loved me so much more now. She had been so scared of me leaving her, even before she went to prison and more so after October, that she couldn't talk to me about any of it.

She said she then realized the only thing she could do that she thought showed her love for me, was not talk to me about it, not to make me feel obligated or put some sort of guilt trip on me, to just let me make up my mind if I'd keep visiting and keep true to our marriage or not. She promised herself to wait a year before mentioning anything about it, and to talk about something else too. It hadn't really been a test for me, maybe it was more of a test for her.

After six months or so she had started getting hopeful, yet the more she got hopeful that she and I would continue to love each other, continue to be husband and wife even in this terrible situation, the more she got nervous and scared that she was just setting herself up to be crushed when it didn't turn out that way.

She took a slow breath then continued. She said the other thing she didn't mention, was that she applied for conjugal visit privileges in July when it seemed things were actually getting better among the three of us, but she had still been so scared I'd leave her, that she didn't mention the application to me, that she didn't want to have anything stopping me from making my mind up about staying with her or leaving her. She had promised herself to wait a year for both herself and me, and she didn't want to break that promise.

She took a quick breath, kept staring at our hands, and said, "My application was approved, and we've been put on the schedule for next Sunday." She raised her face and looked into my eyes. Her face tensed, more tears filled her eyes. I could see she was more than nervous, she was scared. The pitch of her voice was higher when she asked, "Do... do you still love me?" Single tears ran down her face from each eye.

I felt like a total asshole, total scum, as I gripped her hand tighter, then leaned towards her, placed my other palm on her upper back, then kissed her cheek. I whispered, "Of course I do, Barb." I knew I had to look into her eyes so I moved my head, my face a few inches from hers. I gazed into her eyes and prayed she'd not see what a piece of shit I was.

She swallowed. "Say it."

"I love you, Barb." I leaned towards her and gave her lips a quick, warm kiss.

The fear was still in her eyes. "Do... do you still want to make love with me?"

I tried to smile. "Yes, of course I do."

Barb closed her eyes and her body relaxed for a few moments. She opened her eyes and softly smiled at me. "We'll… we'll have to tell Lana. I… I don't think she should just wait around for us. I mean, there may be delays. We'll have an hour in the… oh god, I hate calling it the Conjugal Visitation Building, but I don't want to call it what the inmates call it either." She let out a nervous giggle.

I didn't want to know what the inmates called it. "So… only an hour?"

"Uh-huh. I… I know that's not much time, but… well, that's all the time allowed. From what I heard, things are… sometimes things get way behind schedule, I mean in general, so… so we might end up waiting to… to get our… um… period in…" She closed her eyes and exhaled. "In our room. It's… um… nothing fancy. I… I didn't expect it to be. I mean… I haven't seen any of the rooms, there's ten I guess, but I heard about it from some of the other women here. Anyway, I… I was concerned Lana might be waiting longer than an hour, well, she would be, even if everything was on time. You…" She took a slow breath. "You'll… you'll have to have a... a cavity search done."

My asshole clenched. I hadn't even considered that. Hell, I thought the damn visits weren't possible, at least I had forgotten all about it. I didn't want any fuckin' guard shoving his finger up my goddamn ass, especially one of the mean looking pricks. Did I have a choice? Of course not. "Yeah, I figured there'd be something like that. Is… is it a doctor who'll do it?" I saw Lana almost burst out laughing. She kept it to a smile.