Great and Terrible Things

"Son, there's different kinds of dangerous." I took a moment to gather my thoughts before continuing. "There's no arguing that Alby was a cold-hearted killer and probably one of the fastest men I've ever seen on the draw, but men like him don't scare me. He was too short sighted. He had nearly a dozen men with him at the start and instead of using them wisely he let me pick them off."

Ably wasn't a stupid man, just sick, violent and short sighted. If he'd had a good plan, a little foresight and a touch more patience he could have easily won the day.

"Even after he had us cornered in the hotel with eight men still standing, he should have been able to take us. We only had my Peacekeeper and Mr. Washington's shotgun between us. Instead, he let Robert distract him while I slipped out the back and worked the situation to our benefit." I shook my head at the memory of what came next.

"The man he sent to watch the back door was undisciplined, drunk and downright stupid. I was able to knock him out silently so they didn't even know I was outside until I wanted them too." I grimaced as I remembered the Enfield he'd been carrying. Thankfully, I hadn't been forced to use that relic. The drunk fool must have inherited it from his father.

"Thomas gave up when I found him behind a building where he was holding the horses. He didn't have the stomach for what his cousin planned." I smiled slightly, remembering how much better I felt with his shotgun in my hands. It wasn't my Centennial, but it was a hell of a lot better than the Enfield.

"I'd finished scouting by then and was reasonably certain that the only men I had to worry about were those out front of the hotel with Alby. I knew they were going to start killing everyone in the hotel soon so I decided it was time to do something about them."

I paused, trying to figure out how to explain everything that played out next. It all happened so quickly. Abigail took the moment to add some of what she and the others were going through inside the hotel.

"Alby was getting ready to burn the hotel down. He even had two of his men poor oil over the entrance and front of the building to make it quicker." I saw how grim Abigail's memories were of the situation by the look in her eyes. "We were just getting ready to move Miles and try to escape out the back, but that's when the shooting started." I didn't like thinking about what probably would have happened to Abigail and the others if I'd failed so I took up the story once more.

"My plan was simple enough. I sent the horses Thomas was holding between the buildings and into the street where Alby and the others were standing in front of the hotel. They were a good distraction. I charged into the street after them."

"You ran into the street and faced six of them alone?" Billy's eyes were big once more. Abigail had a similar expression.

"I had the element of surprise and the horses for a distraction. Those are advantages any good soldier could use to even out the odds." Billy looked convinced, but Abigail clearly wasn't buying it. Six against one were a lot of odds to even out and she knew it. "Besides, I was out of time. They were about to light the hotel on fire."

I didn't like the touch of hero worship in Billy's eyes. I was many things, some even good, but a hero wasn't one of them. Heroes did stupid things and got themselves and the people closest to them killed. I was a soldier. I took calculated risks, but only when I had to. Unfortunately, last night was one of those times I had to. I couldn't let Alby and his men massacre Abigail and her family. Fortunately, it worked out reasonably well in then end.

"Two of them were holding torches and were so focused on trying to light the hotel on fire that they never fired a shot before I killed them both." I couldn't stop my tone from turning grim. The whole fight from that point was fast and ugly. "The first fell even before he knew I was there. I used the shotgun I'd taken from Thomas to put him down."

"The second torch bearer hit the ground and avoided the second shotgun blast. I threw the empty weapon at the nearest man carrying a pistol. It distracted him just long enough for me to pull my Peacemaker. I killed him and the second torch bearer who was getting up and still trying to light the hotel on fire at Alby's insistence. The danged fool should have ignored Alby and drawn his weapon instead." I didn't bother hiding the disgust in my voice.

"Didn't Alby and the others try and shoot you?" How do you explain the heat of battle to an eight-year -old?

"Sure, but remember there were eight horses screaming and running all over the place. I even held on to the saddle horn of one and let it drag me closer. It was a good shield against Alby and Luther who were on the other side of it."

"What about the last man?" This question came from Abigail who was clearly as interested in my story as her son.

"He was behind me," I replied, remembering the burn of the bullet across my ribs. "I was lucky with him. His shot grazed my ribs, letting me know where he was without doing any real damage. I turned and killed him before he could get off another shot, or at least another on target."

"What happened next?" Billy excitement was understandable, but I wasn't sure he was old enough to understand just how close I'd come to dying. Abigail did. I could tell from her expression. She was sitting down again and had pulled her son onto her lap, I think more to comfort her than him.

"Alby shot the horse I was using as a shield."

"He killed the horse?" Abigail's anger and disgust at the news made me smile. I'm sure she understood the logic behind Alby's action, but the woman really did love her horses. "What did you do?"

"I followed the poor beast to the ground and continued to use him as cover." What other choice did I have? Okay, so maybe there were a couple, but none of them particularly smart. "I also took a shot at Alby. Unfortunately, I missed, but at least it made him dive for cover. That's when Luther unloaded his shotgun at me. The horse took the brunt of that as well."

"That's when you killed Luther?" Abigail question sounded more like a statement.

"It's when I shot him," I corrected, sighing to myself before adding, "I hated doing it too because I was almost certain he hadn't reloaded his shotgun and I was low on bullets, but I couldn't take the chance."

"How many bullets did you have left?" Billy was all but bouncing on his mother's lap by this point.

"One," Abigail answered for me, swallowing with some difficulty and suddenly looking pale. "He had one bullet left after he shot Luther."

"It was worse than that," I put in, shaking my head at the memory. "Alby had shifted while I dealt with Luther, giving him cover and a clear shot at me."

"What happened?" Billy nearly squeaked in anticipation.

"Something that never would have if Alby was a soldier. He should have stayed behind the barrel and killed me. That's what I would have done if our roles had been reversed." I made sure to pause to let the boy know I was serious. I wasn't happy with the fact that Billy was glorifying what happened despite my best efforts. He needed to understand the truth. "Fortunately for me, Alby wasn't right in the head. He wanted to face me one on one. He wanted to make my death a spectacle."

"Why would he do that?" It was a fair question, but I wasn't going to try and explain the sickness that was inside of Alby, not to an eight-year-old. I was certain Abigail had seen it in Alby and recognized it for it was, but if she wanted her son to understand that then she'd need to explain it to him. I was only willing to go so far with a boy Billy's age, and this was past my limit.

"He knew I only had one bullet left and that I was wounded. He also knew he was faster than me." I glanced at Abigail and was relieved when she nodded at me in appreciation instead of insisting I tell her son the whole truth. "Alby was a gunslinger and he wanted to kill me out in the open so it would add to his reputation."

"You fought him in a duel?" Abigail asked in surprised concern. "I was helping Robert take down the barricade we set up to block the front door and didn't see."

"I didn't have much of a choice. It was either that or let Alby shoot me from cover."

"But how did you win if you only had one bullet and he was faster?" Billy question was mirrored in his mother's expression.

"I knew I wouldn't be able to outdraw him, but not all fights are won by the fastest man, or even the first man to shoot and Alby was overconfident. He'd faced other men in duels, but probably none quite as experienced in killing as me." I was lost in the memory again and didn't notice how Billy or Abigail were dealing with what I was saying.

"I'm pretty good at reading men, especially the violent kind. Alby was a bully, used to fighting men weaker than him. Men afraid of dying." I paused when I felt Abigail's hand on my arm. She'd reached out to offer comfort. I took her hand in mine and squeezed without really looking at her. It would have distracted me from my story and at this point, I wanted to be done with the tale.

"Alby never quite understood the difference between a soldier and a normal person," I continued, my tone somewhat melancholy. "I haven't been afraid of dying in a long time, but even if I were, my training wouldn't let that stop me from doing what was necessary."

"I saw that he was going to draw on me the moment he made the decision. Instead of standing there, I dropped back down behind horse's carcass, pulling my gun and firing at the same time."

"You outdrew him?" Billy asked, sounding like he already knew I had. I guess because in the dime novels the hero always does. I snorted.

"No son, I didn't," I smiled, finally look up at the boy. "But I'd surprised Alby. One of his shots missed me completely and the other only hit me in the leg."

"And your shot killed him?"

"No," I answered again, growing grim once more. "But I hit Alby in the shoulder which was enough to knock him off his feet." I paused and swallowed before adding, "I finished him with my knife before he could reach one of his guns."

Killing didn't bother me. Not when a man deserved it and Alby definitely did, but the memory of burying my knife in his neck would take a while to get past. I knew from experience that I would. Eventually, it would join a host of other memories I didn't dwell on. The type that only come back during one of my infrequent nightmares.

"I remember feeling relieved because I thought the fighting was finally over."

"It's wasn't?" Billy asked in confusion.

"No, because right then, I heard the breach of Luther's shotgun close. He was in bad shape, but somehow back on his feet with a reloaded weapon. I thought I was a goner for sure. I dove for one of Alby's Scofields, but there was no way I'd reach it and be able shoot Luther before he let loose."

"My heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I heard a shotgun go off, only it wasn't Luther's. It was Mr. Washington's. He saved my life."

"Wow!" Billy cried, not seemingly put off by my story despite my best efforts not to glorify what happened. I decided that a recap might help.

"So, to answer your original question, yes, I killed eight men, but three of them never saw me coming and a forth had his back to me as he tried to set the hotel on fire. Despite that, I would have been a goner if Alby hadn't made so many dumb mistakes, not the least of which was not shooting me when he had me dead to rights. And in the end, I'd have died if Mr. Washington didn't come out and kill Luther."

"Billy, go wake up Uncle William," Abigail said, seeing my obvious discomfort with the way the boy was looking at me. Her son nodded, but continued to stare at me as he made his way out of the room. I shook my head and laughed in relief when he was gone.

"Don't worry," Abigail smiled warmly. "Billy's hero worship will fade eventually." I thought that would be the end of it, but her expression softened as she added, "I expect mine will take a touch longer than that. You did save us, after all."

"I'm no hero. I'm just a soldier who did what was necessary." There was no room for argument in my tone, so Abigail didn't bother. Instead, she stunned me by leaning down and kissing me.

I think it started as a chaste kiss given in thanks, but the moment our lips touched something inside of both of us shifted. Abigail moaned and I wrapped her in my arms, pulling her down on top of me and deepening the kiss. Her mouth opened ever so slightly and I took full advantage. Instead of fighting me, Abigail opened herself to me.

It was a moment of madness for both of us. I'm not sure how far it would have gone if she hadn't accidently bumped my thigh wound. The pain lanced up my leg and I pulled back instinctually. She came back to herself as our lips parted and stood quickly. Abigail was blushing badly, but she didn't seem particularly upset.

"You're hurt and this is not the time nor place." I wanted to reach up, take hold of her and pull her lips back to mine despite her words, but somehow, I was able to resist.

"I'm sorry, that shouldn't have happened." My voice was thick and slow as I fought to push down the hunger she'd awakened. The words came out sounding gruff. The truth was that I was embarrassed by my lack of control. "I'm a soldier and not the settling down type. You deserve better." Thankfully, she didn't seem offended by my words.

"I understand." Abigail's smile seemed to bely her words. "Although, if you ever kiss me again like that, I may have to tell Uncle William. We're a little old for a shotgun wedding, but My God, your kisses..." She didn't bother finishing her thought. She didn't have to. I understood.

The situation should have been awkward considering, but for some reason it wasn't. Abigail's eyes sparkled at her own attempt at humor, and suddenly we were both laughing.

"Eat your breakfast," Abigail said after we were done. "I'll be back after I check on the others and make sure Billy is okay. Call out if you need anything. Do not get out of this bed." Getting out of bed was the last thing on my mind as I looked at her. Her slow smile let me know she knew exactly what was.

"I'll be fine," I said with some difficulty. "I'll probably take a nap while you're gone." She clearly didn't believe me based on her expression.

"You're just going to rip open the stitches if you try and get up, so don't." Abigail was using her mother's voice again, probably without even realizing it. It made me smile.

"Yes mam," I teased. She rolled her eyes, but left it at that as she moved toward the door. She paused just before leaving and looked back at me.

"Don't think we've settled whether I'm going to go with Billy or stay here with you and Uncle William. We still need to finish that conversation."

"We can talk about it as much as you like," I replied, still smiling. "But you are going with Billy in the end."

"I'm a better shot than at least half of the hands Mile's father brought with him." She looked ready fight. I didn't want that after we'd just sharing the best kiss of my life.

"That's not the point," I said calmly. "You're Billy's mother and he needs you, especially if Murphy is unreasonable."

I had no right to tell her what to do and if Abigail were a different kind of woman it might have offended her that I tried, but she wasn't. Not only did she know I was right deep down, but she also knew at least part of my stubbornness was because I cared. I wasn't sure if that last part was a good thing or not.

"Are you sure you're not just trying to protect me?" The odd tone in Abigail's voice confused me for a moment. Of course, I was trying to protect her, but then the real reason for her question struck me.

Abigail took great pride in her independence and ability to take care of herself and those she loved. She understood that her place was with her son, but she wanted to make sure I wasn't trying to make her less than she was. I could never do that.

"Not just," I said slowly, trying to find the right words. "But the truth is that if it wasn't for Billy, I'd want you at my back with your Henry and knife, and there are very few people I trust there."

I didn't mention the other reason why I wanted her safe was my growing feelings for her, but I got the distinct impression that not only did Abigail know, but that she was okay with it as long as I respected her and her abilities.

"Same here," she smiled in a way that sent a shiver up and down my spine as she opened the door and slipped out of the room without another word. Abigail was one hell of a woman. It was hard not to love her, but I was doing my best.

I hadn't really planned on taking a nap, but as soon as I was done eating it was everything I could do to keep my eyes open so I stopped trying. I was woken up some time later by a heavy knock on the door. I opened my eyes and tried to focus.

The first thing I noticed was that Abigail had been holding my hand and sitting with me again while I slept. A slow smile started to form, but quickly faded when the door flew open and Robert walked in carry a pile of clothes and a crutch.

"Murphy and his men are on their way," the sergeant major said without preamble, dropping the clothes on the foot of the bed and propping the crutch against the nearby wall. I let go of Abigail's hand and nodded in thanks. Robert added, "I hear tell that the marshal and his deputies are back in town."

"Interesting," I said thoughtfully as I reached for the clothes.

Abigail stood and frowned at me, but didn't bother trying to stop me from getting dressed. There would be no point and she knew it. This was my fight more than anyone else's. Still, the woman could say an awful lot with a look.

"Don't worry. I'm sure Doc Jenson can re-stitch whatever I rip open." It was a half attempt at humor and Abigail smiled, but it never reached her eyes. Robert had turned and was already walking back out the door. He shut it behind him to give me some privacy while I dressed. He apparently didn't expect Abigail to do the same and from her expression he was obviously correct.

It didn't take long to get dressed. Pulling my borrowed britches over the leg wound was painful, but I coped. The graze on across my ribs gave me far less problems as I put the shirt on over the bandages. Abigail stood there the whole time, not even bothering to look away. She was ready to help if I needed it, but let me cope in my own way until it came time to put my boots on. At that point she didn't give me a choice.

"I thought we agreed that you'd be leaving with Billy?" I was talking half to distract myself, but I was also concerned about Abigail.

"I never agreed to anything," she said pointedly as she helped me put on my boots, but then she relented and added, "I'll be leaving before they arrive. I wanted to sit with you a bit while you slept."

Standing wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I used the crutch, but not before testing my leg to see if it could hold my weight if need be. I was happy to see that the answer was yes. Okay, so it wasn't without pain, but that was to be expected. The last thing I did was strap by Peacemaker and its holster in place.

"Let's go," I said, leading the way. I was using the crutch for the time being. It made sense to while I didn't need the use of both hands. Abigail followed, but she stopped me before I opened the door. I turned and swallowed when I saw her expression.

"I know you're not the settling down type, and I can live with that." The emotions in her eyes were raw. She wasn't even trying to hide what she was feeling. A part of me was overjoyed by what I saw. Another ached. "But I feel what I feel and if you don't survive whatever happens next, I'm not sure I..."