Hope a Little Longer

Part 2 - Meeting a Ghost

I had started much earlier than usual today to try to put a beta site up for a demanding client. You gain a feel after a while for who's only kicking up a fuss for the sake of it and who genuinely has a deadline to hit and my judgment call on this one had been that they weren't just making noise and they really did need the thing running as soon as possible. So there I was, rush hour barely beginning outside and already with an hour at work under my belt, added value personified. I was dressed largely for comfort as usual. Smart trousers in deference to the work environment, a newly ironed but casual shirt in deference to dress down Friday, and trainers in deference to working in a big city and having to do a lot of walking about.

Andy stopped by at my desk mid morning to remind me about his leaving drinks later on and I assured him i'd show my face. Considering that by then I would already have clocked up an eleven hour working day I was secretly not sure how long i'd hang around. All things considered though it was the right thing to do and I wouldn't have dreamt of missing it. I got on well with him. It was Andy who took me out for a cup of tea and interviewed me for my current position without a word of complaint after I showed up at the office almost an hour late suffering trauma from my first tube journey; and he had been my team leader and mentor since then really. My friendship with him and his support had helped me to develop good working relationships with my other colleagues so it was only right to be there to see him off now and i'd be glad to have done so.

I then ploughed through until it was time to pack up (sandwich at the desk somewhere in there) and just about got something cobbled together which I was happy to have the client take a look at. By that point though it was definitely time to stop for the day and a quick celebratory drink actually sounded quite appealing. I lucked out and managed to end up walking from work to the pub with Andy so we went through the dance steps of the social bit on the way. Best of luck, keep in touch, all the rest. It is kind of anachronistic these days when practically everyone you know is still going to be on Whatsapp on Monday morning.

Sadly after we got to the pub the evening took a definite turn for the worse. The new guy in app development obviously hadn't got the memo that I didn't date. Having grabbed the space next to me he spent a solid half an hour trying to impress me by means of leaning in far too close for comfort and shouting into my ear. His breath smelled of beer and I could occasionally feel the spray of his more enthusiastic phrases landing uncomfortably on the side of my face. Finally with some relief I spotted Andy and the new office manager Angela nipping off for a smoke so grabbing my bag and interrupting my hapless casanova I quickly made my excuses, edged my way out of my seat, and ducked through the door after them.

I caught up with them outside as they were sparking up. Angela was most definitely dressed for the evening out rather than the day at work. My eyes lingered on her form-fitting horizontally-striped dress and I gazed at her figure in it with admiration and wondered whether I should have dressed up too. From a space above my field of vision I heard a throat being cleared and looked up into a broad amused grin. Angela raised an eyebrow and proffered her cigarettes.

"Oh, no thanks." I said slightly flustered, "I don't smoke actually. I was just coming out for some fresh air."

"Ah yeah," Angela said, and glanced at Andy who was smirking a little for some reason. She kicked him gently on the shin and he winced. Turning back to me she went on, "We saw Nick had you cornered. Amazing that he couldn't tell he wasn't your type really."

"I don't think I was giving out signals. Was I giving out signals?"

Angela paused for a moment, "No, you were not giving out any signals which he should have found encouraging. Absolutely not."

She hesitated again considering her words, "Nick just has some issues reading social cues by the look of it."

For a moment it looked as if she was going to keep talking but instead she took a drag on her cigarette and politely exhaled off to the side.

"You actually will stay in touch won't you Ray?" Andy chipped in, "I know everyone says it but most of them won't. I'm only moving around the corner so it'll be easy enough to meet up once in a while."

I was quite touched. It crossed my mind that moving to a new job was a big step for anyone and he'd probably be feeling a measure of the anxiety I would in his place, "Of course. Once you are settled in then give me a ping. You can tell me all about how great it is and try to poach me for your team." I grinned.

Angela must have inhaled too much smoke at that point as she started coughing. I looked around at her in concern but she waved me off. Once she had recovered I made my excuses.

"I think i'll go home now though, i'm training in the morning. See you soon Andy, and see you on Monday Angela."

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As Ray disappeared around the corner with her bag swinging off her hip Angela turned to Andy, "Bloody hell she has no idea at all does she? It's kind of really sad and incredibly cute at the same time."

"Yeah you can see how it works though. The boys don't come on to her and she doesn't want them to so it doesn't cross her mind to wonder why. You're right though it is sad. She's a lovely person just totally, um, self-contained."

"Isolated you mean. Still though, there's someone out there for everyone." and she leaned in against him and turned her face up for a kiss.

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I left Andy and Angela outside the pub and strolled off to the tube. Those two seemed to be getting on pretty well, fairly cuddly even, although I'd be the first to admit i wasn't the best judge of those things. I played back what Angela had been saying in my head and couldn't help feeling that there was some element of the conversation which I had been missing. Maybe she had felt I was putting out some kind of Nick-attracting vibes but didn't want to embarrass me. She was really nice though and it did feel as if I was working toward making another friend which would be great. She had looked good today. Sometimes I wished I had the figure to fill out a dress like that but my genes hadn't given me those kind of curves or, and let us be blunt, much in the way of breasts; and really I wasn't sure i'd feel comfortable on display like that anyway. My standard shirt and jeans set up was hardly unusual, there were plenty of other women around wearing similar, and it worked for me.

I was lost in my thoughts and passed through the mainline station on autopilot taking a seat in an almost empty carriage and enjoying the small luxuries of both arm and leg room. Gazing out of the window I watched the train on the next platform slowly pull away. Someone sat down diagonally opposite and after a while started speaking. For a few moments I assumed she was on the phone but gradually it sank in that she was talking to me.

"Excuse me, excuse me, it's Rachel isn't it? I'm sure it's you."

I looked up in surprise, because it had been a long time since anyone had called me that, straight into the face of a strikingly beautiful young woman who was bent forward talking to me. The low light in the carriage had dilated her pupils making her eyes seem an even darker brown than they really were. Her complexion was very pale with a slight flush to her rounded cheeks; thick chestnut hair fell well below her shoulders. Her expression was a lot more uncertain than the confident tone of her words had suggested, wary even, and apparently the look on my face wasn't helping because she leant back into her seat quite quickly. It was hard for me to concentrate on all this though because she was undeniably Sarah this time and my mind had kind of run aground.

"It's Ray now, not Rachel." I blurted out, "and, um, l thought you were dead."

She tipped her head slightly to the side, presumably taking this in, "Ray, right ok. That's what they said is it, makes sense I suppose, i'm not though. Look do you have time to go somewhere for a coffee or something."

Part 3 - Lunch Break

Monday came and even before I got to work I was reading email on my phone and pleasantly gratified by the reply I had received from my problem client late the previous night. I was not sure what timezone they were in right then but what i did know is that they must have spent most of the weekend going over my beta site and had methodically written up all the issues they had found and the changes they would like. One of the advantages of dealing with clients from the Upper colonies is that you can always rely on their attention to detail. Even better they seemed genuinely appreciative of my work on Friday.

Arriving at the office with a spring in my step I was really looking forward to working through the snag list. A good way to start the week. I was actually humming happily under my breath as I set up my laptop and Angela glanced over from her place in the corner of the room raising her eyebrows as if to say 'Really, at this time in the morning?'.

I gave her a slightly sheepish grin and put my head down. Aside from a few brief breaks (filter machine, filter machine, loo if you have to know) that was it for my first four hours at work. Swinging back around the corner into the office from my toilet break though I not only noticed I was humming again but also just managed to avoid cannoning straight into one of the other guys. I veered aside at the last moment with an offhand apology and bumped loudly into the water cooler.

On the plus side it didn't actually fall over I suppose but it definitely looked as if it might for a moment. Again I saw the raised brows peering at me from over in the corner. I knew that Angela had something to do with Health and Safety and I was a little worried that I had annoyed her with my careening around. Back at my desk a few minutes later I sensed a figure standing by me and of course there she was. "Shall we go and find some lunch?" she said brightly, the big grin on her face a total mystery to me.

As i've said I did like Angela so I was glad we are going for lunch but I was also intimidated by her for several reasons I think. Firstly she was quite a bit older than me - in her late twenties at a guess. Secondly she was new and hence an unknown quantity. Thirdly she wielded a lot of power in our world combining as she did office management, HR, shared PA to the directors and actually I wasn't quite sure what else. Lastly, and I knew I was being a bit ridiculous here, she was a woman and I was not that used to working with or socialising with women. Somehow I always felt sort of on edge, on display, when I was around women in a way I didn't experience with men.

So I let her take the lead and she shepherded me off to a cafe further away and to be honest pricier than I would normally have chosen, although it wasn't going to break the bank as long as I kept to the sandwiches and salads areas of the menu. As with everywhere around here they did food to go but it turned out they also had a few tables tucked out of the way of the lunchtime queue so we grabbed one of those and took a seat. Miraculously they even did table service as well and a waitress was immediately over to take our order.

While we waited for our food she teased me a bit about Nick's attentions on Friday and I could feel myself flushing again at the memory. I explained that I didn't have to deal with it very often and that I wasn't really looking for a boyfriend. She said that was fairly clear, which pleased me, really that was one whole area of my life I wasn't interested in opening up right now. It looked as if she wanted to keep the conversation on the social side and so lacking many options I asked how it was going with her and Andy.

Her face shone as she talked about some night out they had had on Saturday and that probably told me more than her words did themselves. I enjoyed basking in the secondhand glow of her affection for him. It looked good what she had, really good. In a way I suppose I would liked to have had that for myself. The idea of having a companion I could rely on, go out with, enjoy things with, I could see how that would enrich my life but i'd just never met the specific boy who made it seem properly appealing. After a while she obviously noticed that she was rambling a bit and swerved the conversation back my way.

"So what about you hon? You've been dancing around all day with a grin on your face. Seriously not like you at all!"

The food arrived and gave us a little break. Then I started to talk about the work stuff as if I was answering her question. I'd barely launched in though when she was shaking her head and insisting that wasn't what she was talking about. She was right of course but i'd not really shared anything about my life outside work with colleagues and it was difficult to know where to start.

"I think it must be because I met someone on Friday after the pub who I hadn't seen for a long time."

A quizzical cock of her head requested eloquently that I provide more information, so I clarified, "Sarah, we were girls together. I hadn't seen her since I was fourteen."

I went on to explain that we had gone for coffee, exchanged numbers. How great it had been to see her, how I had forgotten how much I liked her, and how we'd probably meet up again soon. She was working in social care and living not actually that far from me. I think I probably ended up rambling too.

"Things were complicated when we were young." I finished, hiding things I wasn't prepared to explain behind the understatement, "It was good to see her doing so well."

They had cleared our plates away while we had been talking and Angela had paid the bill which was nice of her. Unexpectedly she reached forward across the empty table and grabbed one of my hands. The contact was a bit of a shock but her hand was soft and warm. She looked me in the eye and squeezed my hand firmly.

"I'm glad you saw your friend again Ray. You seem really happy."

Part 4 - Interlude

I am wreathed in silver and my ears are filled with the sound of sirens and screaming. Behind that an infectious electronic beat is thumping steadily away and I focus on that, using it to help time my movements. Deep down behind all this in the mix a calm quiet voice is counting numbers down toward zero in an incongruous deep Somerset brogue.

"Fifteen."

Firedarts rain in on me and splash harmlessly off my luminescent shield causing it to ring like a bell with each impact and flash a progressively deeper and duller red. I leap, impossibly high, easily soaring over the behemoth in front of me, turning as I land so that I am now briefly facing the giant from behind. Translucent blades spring from my arms and flexing I slice them out through the air into its back. It convulses, roaring its pain and anger, then arches up so that it is facing the air, hands raised. Six patches of red light appear on the ground around it and start to grow into large circles. There is one immediately under me and I leap again, neatly reversing my path to land back in front of my team ready to shield them from the imminent blast.

"Ten."

I misjudge my landing and touch down just inside another of the circles at the same moment the air strike lands. A wave of coherent light passes through me and strips away the remainder of my armour along with half my health. I'm still standing though and fire back another series of blade attacks rolling myself alternately left then right between shots. Each incoming hit is now critical and I buff my dodge even higher to try to avoid them.

"Five."

Only two make it through. The damage I take isn't so bad and after a quick glance down at my health bar I think for a moment that we are going to make it. Unfortunately though the knockback from the hits has pushed me far too close to the others and the next blow to arrive carries a heavy area-of-effect component.

Mike's timer reaches zero and he says "Incoming." but the fire takes him before he has a chance to wrap that fresh shield around me and he dies. There is a chorus of expletives as the rest of them go down and I am left standing there alone among the skeletons as streams of purple light twist across the sky. I watch half a dozen more of those little incandescent darts screaming in towards me.

My controller bounced slightly as it landed on the sofa beside me. I gave it a theatrical disgusted glare, for no-ones benefit but my own, as if the destruction of our team had been in some way its fault. It was far too late tonight to work our way back up through the level and take another shot so Doug, Nicky, Julie and Mark were all making their excuses and signing off for the night. I could see Mike's icon was still green though and as we often took the chance to catch up after an evening of play I kept my headset on too and leant back, closing my eyes.

"Hey Cuz."

"Hey Cuz."

This had become our standard greeting recently. We'd been Mike and Ray since we had known each other but then I had swanned off to the big city and, apparently, become tainted by its posh ways. Mike had decided one day that this was how posh cousins addressed each other and it had stuck. I was ok with this as long as Steve didn't start joining in.

"Fucked that one up didn't I?" I said, "If I hadn't been hit by the airstrike we'd have been fine."

"Could be. Then again could be we should've moved back quicker when he barged you into us. And if it comes to that Julie should have had an interrupt ready in the first place if you really want to be pointing fingers."

Julie was Mike's girlfriend and I could hear her shouting her response to this in the background. I couldn't make out the words but the tone of happy indignation was clear enough and it made me smile.

"Mum asked me to check when you'll be down at Christmas." Mike went on.

Everyone at work knew I had a long way to travel to be with my family so i'd had no trouble booking the extra day off. I explained i'd be travelling down early on Christmas Eve and then back on the twenty-seventh. It was going to be so good to spend some time with them as I had not been down since the summer. We chatted for a little longer. I heard that things are tidied up for the winter as far as the orchards concerned and a lot about how well the big new project was coming on. I gave Mike the address of a website where he could see some of what I had been working on recently.

I told him about Sarah, we'd met up several times now. He'd never met anyone from that part of my life and he was definitely interested in hearing about her. Before he went offline for the night I found myself nearly talking to him about what had happened to Sarah back then but in the end I didn't. The thing was Mike had been talking about coming up to London to visit at some point and, if the two of them were to meet, I didn't want to make things strange. We'd talked about it between ourselves by now of course but I knew Sarah still found it difficult.

Part 5 - Moving in

I was meeting Sarah after work again today. We'd got into the habit of meeting up once or twice a week before we caught the train home. Our stations shared the same line but not all the trains stopped at hers so generally I would wait for one which stopped at both so that we could share the journey too. Today I had got to the pub first and ordered my beer and her wine. It was early enough that I had found a table free and taken the seat facing the door so that I could spot her when she arrived. As it turned out though i'd got my nose into my phone by the time she got there and the first thing I noticed was the scrape of the stool on the tiled floor as she pulled it out to sit down.