Journey in Love

Once we were free to mingle, I continued to feel his constant stare. Yet, every time I turned to seek him out, he was either already looking away or did so immediately upon me catching him.

He often sat alone, as though not entirely comfortable at such a posh soiree in spite of the fact he was just as finely dressed as anyone else in attendance. In fact, his suit had clearly been tailored to drape perfectly over his powerful looking corpulence. He was obviously a man of means.

At one point, I watched him mosey over to the punch bowl for a refill. He walked with the same swagger I loved about the coach and his pants were belted just high enough on his perfect belly to hint at a weighty lump straining the crotch seam of his otherwise roomy trousers. It seductively shifted in concert with his purposeful stride.

Once the accolades for my performance began to taper off, I blended into the scenery and turned my attention to this man with greater frequency. I felt an electric shock every time he caught me eyeing him.

When I could stand it no longer, I screwed up my courage and decided to approach him. He was sitting alone again in one of three chairs that had obviously been grouped for a conversation pit. For whatever reason, however, nobody seemed interested - or maybe comfortable - engaging such an imposing man in chat.

My stomach churning with butterflies, I slowly walked toward him and sat in one of the two available chairs. It felt nice to revel once again in the sense of smallness I felt in his hyper-masculine presence. He smiled.

"Good evening, young man," he said in an appropriately deep tone.

"Good evening, sir."

He extended a huge, sun-bronzed paw and I slid my hand into it. Mine looked meek and tiny by comparison and I half expected him to inadvertently crush it, but his grasp turned out to be incredibly gentle.

"Ray Potter. And you are?"

"Ken Lau," I replied, my mouth starting to feel dry in such close proximity to him at last.

"Ah! Hong Kong?"

"Yes, sir," I said.

His apparent knowledge of Asian heritage caught me so off guard that I'd spoken without thinking and then had to correct myself, "Well, no...I mean...my parents are from Hong Kong. I was born here in the U.S., though."

"Yes, of course," he said, turning a little red, "Forgive me. I should've guessed that from the absence of any detectable accent."

An uncomfortable silence followed. It was probably only a few seconds, but it seemed like hours to me. It finally dawned on me that it was I who had approached him, so he was waiting for me to initiate any conversation that was to follow.

"You don't appear to be a dancer," I observed.

Thoughtlessly calling attention to his comparatively gargantuan size as my opener made me feel like a complete ass. To my relief, though, his beautiful barrel shaped belly shook as he broke into boisterous laughter, the like of which I hadn't heard in over two years.

"No! No, I guess not," he warmly replied, "but you certainly do! And, a fine one I might add!"

"Oh, thank you, sir."

"Please, call me Ray."

"Yes, sir...Ray."

"That's better," he said as he leaned my way, "So, tell me, what led you here to become part of Lena's pride and joy?"

I proceeded to fill him in on my back story and he listened as though we were the only two people in the room. He turned out to be just as knowledgeable about gymnastics as he was dance and even had a detailed knowledge of the Bay area. It almost felt like being granted a quick trip back home.

We remained engaged in lively conversation for the remainder of the evening. Only when we parted company after the party ended did I realize we'd spent nearly all our time talking about me. I came away knowing almost nothing about him.

'God! He must think I'm the most conceited little snot on the planet!' I chastised myself.

If the undivided attention I gave Ray wasn't lost on Lena then she graciously never let on. It certainly wasn't lost on my classmates and failed suitors, though. They teased me mercilessly and labeled me 'chubby chaser' and 'daddy chaser' after that night.

It was all in good fun, of course, but it still stung at first. To their surprise, I took it in stride and simply copped to the charge. The teasing soon gave way to acceptance of my taste in men and stopped.

I felt almost as if I'd 'come out' yet again. A few of my former suitors even confided that, to their relief, they finally understood my rejection of their advances.

Suddenly I became totally at ease with myself and, at last, even began looking into where I might find other men like Ray - except who were gay. Pointers to clubs that catered to older gay men and their admirers began coming my way.

In a show of their continued support, what with my twenty-first birthday being right around the corner, my parents agreed to pay for me to move out of the dorm in the spring semester into a small one bedroom apartment. My sense of freedom blossomed and I set out to investigate some of the pointers I'd received.

My favorite turned out to be an old piano bar about half way to Detroit called The Keys. Another insecurity awaited me there, however, when I discovered that most of the men I was attracted to seemed too attracted to men exactly like them to even give me the time of day.

I kept going back for the eye candy, though, and eventually a few began to take notice of me. Their only interest in me appeared to be as a meaningless sexual dalliance, though.

As thrilling as I found their attention, I managed to politely fend off their advances as well. My virginity remained reserved for a man who would value it highly enough to invest the time and energy to romance it from me.

Another brutal Michigan winter had settled in that January. I'd become a familiar enough face at The Keys that, even if I was losing hope of ever finding the romance I craved, I was at least making new friends. One night, a man who also lived in Ann Arbor invited me to join in a poker game he hosted once a month.

I explained to him that I knew nothing about poker, but he persisted - assuring me that someone would take me under his wing to show me the ropes. Unable to wriggle out of it, I finally accepted.

That Friday a great snow storm hit and the uncompromising chill in the Michigan air seemed inescapable. The roads were passable, though, so I decided to go ahead with it.

I was a tad late, but still managed to find just enough room in his driveway for my little two-seater. The feel of the snow under my feet as I trudged to the host's door was still a new thrill for me, but the sound of it was a little like fingernails on a chalkboard.

I stamped my feet on his snow-crusted doormat and rang the doorbell. He answered and ushered me in.

"Ken! I was afraid you had ditched us!"

"Hi, Jeremy, not a chance!"

Jeremy was in his forties and a bearded version of the Pillsbury doughboy - handsome enough, but not quite my type. I did love his cheerful personality, though. It always put me at ease.

"Shoes over there, outer garments on the love seat along with the others'," he instructed me in a jolly tone.

I quickly complied and was delighted to find that his furnace was working overtime. It felt nice and toasty, but not stifling. He led me to his dining room where I saw a circular table that seated eight.

There were five men sitting there with their cards breasted. Two hands lay face down on the table, one obviously Jeremy's and the other next to an empty space that was clearly intended for me. All the faces were familiar, even if not all the names came to me. They all welcomed me as if they had known me my entire life.

"Come, have a seat," Jeremy said, patting the back of my chair before going around to the empty one across from it.

"Cold enough for you?" asked one of the gentlemen, whose name I couldn't recall.

"Is it just me or is this bad even by Michigan standards?" I asked to much laughter.

From behind me I heard a familiar voice I couldn't quite place.

"Well, Ann Arbor is no San Francisco, but it's known to get a cool evening breeze once in a while."

As I began to turn my head to get a look at whoever it was, a smiling Ray Potter plopped down in the chair beside me. My jaw nearly struck the table top.

"Ray?"

"Hey! You remembered! I must not have made the bad impression I feared," he said with a laugh.

I was too stunned to speak. Ray laughed again at my surprise and then gave my arm a friendly pat.

"I understand we're to be partners until you learn your way around. You just stick with me, Ken! We'll pick these guys' pockets before the night's up."

I joined in the laughter, still speechless, and just feasted my eyes on Ray in his casual attire. He looked so different than he had at Lena's party, but just as handsome - if not more so.

He wore a pair of faded jeans and a flannel shirt that strained to contain his massive chest. It appeared proudly perched atop the rounded belly that barely rested on his upper thighs when he seated himself, leaning forward to pick up his cards and placing his elbows on the table.

His shirt was open to the second button and revealed just a hint of the V-neck of the tee he wore underneath it. Sprouting up out of that was a luxurious forest of coarse, silver chest hair, into which his prominent chin nestled as he glanced down at his hand.

He would easily have reduced the Brawny Towel man to little more than a shrinking violet. I finally regained my composure enough to respond to his opening comment.

"Yes, sir, of course I remember...and it's awfully nice to see you again."

"Likewise!" he assured me as he bared the hand he'd been dealt to me, "What do you think?"

I looked it over for a few seconds and then sheepishly confessed, "I'm totally clueless, Ray. I'm afraid you're on your own this go 'round."

"So, I see you two have met," one of the men observed.

"We certainly have! I've seen him in a few of Lena's productions and finally had the pleasure of making his acquaintance at her most recent fund raiser," Ray explained, adding, "Trust me...Baryshnikov in his prime had nothing on this guy!"

"You and your ballet! Be ashamed...a big galoot like you!" one of the fellows teased him.

"Gr-r-r-r-r!!" Ray teased back, shaking one of his ham-sized fists at him.

"Down, boy," the man calmly replied, "You in or out?"

"We fold," Ray said with a grin as he pitched his hand in face down, then quietly to me, "We'll get 'em next time."

We didn't. In truth, I was so thrilled to be under Ray's wing that I never ventured out on my own. I did reach a point, at least, that I was eventually offering him what he seemed to regard as valid strategy.

It was purely a friendly game; nickle ante and the chips ranged in value from five cents to a dollar. Everyone had bought in for twenty bucks, so the entire pot was only worth $140.

Ray was the first to get cleaned out and suggested we adjourn to Jeremy's den to get better acquainted. I found it thrilling to sit alone with him and get a little of his back story.

He was retired military who had worked electronics in the service. After returning to Ann Arbor at age thirty-eight, he started his own electrical service, wiring new homes for various builders.

Ten years into that venture, he was successful to the point that the largest electrician in town started in on him to buy him out and absorb his business. He'd finally relented two years prior.

"Were you sad to give it up?"

"Not really. I held out until they finally made me an offer I couldn't refuse; plus, they provide benefits to their employees I was still a few years away from being able to match. Of course I miss getting out and pitching in with the crews but, all in all, I think everybody came out ahead."

One by one, we were joined by others as they lost their seats at the table and the conversation became more general as a result. It was still early enough that, when Ray leaned in to me and whispered an invitation to follow him to his place for a more private chat, I jumped at the chance.

He lived less than ten minutes away, so it was a short drive. His house was modest compared to Jeremy's, but it was nicely appointed. His furnishings were not opulent by any means. In fact, for as nice as everything was, it reflected more the comfort seeking lumberjack who hosted me than the smartly attired man I'd first met at Lena's.

"I don't know about you but I'm beered out. May I fix us some hot cocoa?" he suggested.

"Sounds delicious!"

Soon we were seated in his den with two steaming mugs, each complete with a big marshmallow melting away on top.

"I was very surprised to see you at Jeremy's, as you could no doubt tell."

"You did look a bit as though you'd seen a ghost," the burly man replied with a heartwarming grin.

"I recognized the rest of those men from The Keys, but I've never seen you there."

"Well...I guess I don't...get out much," he said, seeming to search for his words.

"Does you being there mean that you're...you know...?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure how to identify. Bisexual, I guess? I was happily married until three years ago. I guess that was another reason I sold the business."

Ray paused to sip his cocoa.

"We parted amicably and I still want to ensure that her finances are seen to. She gave me the best years of her life, so it only seemed fair to let her keep the showy house while I down-sized. Was able to buy this one outright, but I still have almost five years on her mortgage."

I wasn't sure how to advance the conversation without sounding nosy. He came to my rescue.

"At any rate, I'm still quite new to all this...too new to feel comfortable socializing anywhere but at private gatherings, I suppose."

I took another sip of my cocoa and complimented his mastery of the concoction. A dab of marshmallow clung to my nose when I set the mug down.

Ray laughed and shifted his wondrous bulk in his recliner, fishing a clean handkerchief from his back pocket and offering it to me. Something about the scenario seemed to give him the confidence to continue.

"In truth, I've never actually...been with...another man yet. But, I know what I like," he said with a noticeable blush, "and I'm sure anxious to give it a whirl...when the right man comes along, that is."

"I know what you mean, Ray. I came out almost as soon as I got here, but...I've never been with a man either."

"A handsome guy like you? How can that be?" he blurted out, then looked almost ashamed of himself, "I'm sorry...that's really none of my business."

"Please don't feel embarrassed," I assured him, "especially after everything you've shared about you."

He smiled and his countenance relaxed.

"It isn't that I haven't been pursued. It's just that...I have...rather peculiar taste in men, apparently - according to my friends, anyway," I confided.

"How so?"

"Well, I've become something of a regular at The Keys, so...older, obviously...and...bigger than me...a lot bigger...especially if they look...very strong...like you."

"Isn't that something!" he observed in surprise.

"What?"

"It's always been men who were young and fit that grabbed my attention. I guess that's why I've always been such an admirer of dancers and gymnasts. I never thought that type would ever...well, let's just say you could've knocked me over with a feather when you came and sat with me at Lena's!"

"Now that would've been something to see!" I joked.

Ray laughed warmly and there was kind of a twinkle in his eye. He looked as though a huge weight had been lifted from those load bearing shoulders of his.

"I'd like to ask you something...and you can say no without hurting my feelings."

"Go ahead," I assured him, my stomach tying itself in knots in hopes of what might follow.

"May I join you on the couch?"

"Oh, Ray! Nothing would make me happier!"

He quickly changed seats, bringing me as close as I'd ever been to a man who possessed all of my masculine ideals. My heart began to race in my chest, which he must have taken as hesitation on my part.

"Am I...too close...being too forward?" he thoughtfully asked.

"Not at all!" I said with every ounce of honesty I had to offer.

"Then...may I put my arm around you?"

"Please, do!"

Ray slipped a huge arm behind my head and draped his hand over my shoulder. I rested my head back and deeply sighed. He snugged me to his enormous body and I practically melted into him.

"I've never been held like this by a man like you. It's...nice," I softly confirmed for him.

He confidently tightened his embrace a little more.

"I've never done this either...with a man, I mean," he responded, a tenderness in his deep voice that made me break out in chills as I snuggled into him all the more more firmly.

We sat like that in silence for a good while, simply savoring our contact. Eventually he softly sighed in my ear.

"May I kiss you?" he inquired, ever the gentleman.

I turned my face to his and he tentatively leaned toward me, gently touching his lips to mine for my first romantic kiss. The bristle of his five o'clock shadow scraped my hairless face and, along with his masculine scent, I found myself falling like Alice down the rabbit hole. It was everything I ever dreamed kissing a man would be and I ceded complete control of the situation to him.

His kiss remained dry and tender, but it lingered while he fully satisfied his curiosity about the experience. I turned slightly in his embrace to drape an arm over his belly and hug it. It felt just as firm as it looked. I was like a starving man at a banquet, savoring its attractive heft.

He tentatively folded his other arm around me, remaining the perfect gentleman while continuing to press his lips to mine. My hand slowly crept up his stomach onto his chest and I worked my fingers into the wondrously masculine hair that almost seemed to float up out of the open neck of his shirt.

It was soft and luxurious. I'd never been so hard in all my life! At last, he broke our kiss and pulled back, keeping his arm behind me.

"Wow!" he exclaimed, trying surreptitiously to adjust the crotch of his jeans for more room with his free hand.

"Yeah...me too!" I sheepishly confided as I did likewise.

"So it was good for you, too?" he asked with genuine interest.

"Oh, yes!" I eagerly confirmed, "It was absolutely wonderful! Thank you!"

He beamed at me with a broad grin.

"No...thank you, Ken," he kindly countered.

He retracted his arm from behind me and picked up his mug to down what was left in it. He squeezed me into the corner of the sofa as he hoisted it. I was in heaven.

When he set it down and pressed his handsome bulk back into the cushion behind him, there was a wisp of a marshmallow mustache on his upper lip. I pressed against him for a little room. He scooted over a bit and I got up on my knees beside him.

I cupped his bristly jowls in my hands and asked, "May I?"

Signaling his understanding of what I was asking, he simply nodded. I leaned in against him and, with the tip of my tongue, cleaned it off for him. It was delicious, and all the more so given that it had come from his full, sensuous lips.

"You're a very sweet man," he contentedly sighed.

I retracted my tongue and savored the taste of what I'd collected on it, "Mmmm! You too!"

Thrilling to the tremors of his huge body beneath me as his laughter rang out, I allowed the depth of his voice to envelop me once more. I sneaked a glance down at his crotch and saw three distinct lumps, one of them twitching just a bit.

I reacted by leaning into him and pressing my straining erection into the side of his captivating, masculine paunch. His eyes lit up and the corners of his mouth lifted in an approving smile.

"Oh, my!" he said in in a mix of surprise and contentment.