Junkmail

"Stop looking so fucking pleased with yourself" she moans, I bite my bottom lip to fight the smirk back and pull my focus back to the task at hand. The sight of her just adorned in her underwear, which leaves little enough to the imagination, makes my mouth dry and my arousal spike through the roof.

I push my thigh against her core again and feel rewarded when she moans loudly and rocks her hips against me, I can feel her heat against my leg seep through the denim of my jeans. She writhes with abandon underneath of me, groaning when I take one of her nipples in my mouth and swirl my tongue around the stiffening peak. "Oh holy fuck," she groans when my teeth close down around it, I lift my head enough so I can look up and see her watching me. Her eyes burn into mine, I let my tongue hang slightly out of my mouth and flick it against the tight tip of her nipple, "Fucking tease," are the words she murmurs as she sucks her breath in through her teeth. I feel an eyebrow quirk up, almost challenging her to say something else. She stays quiet though, and instead of pushing this further I slip two digits past the lace and slide them inside her.

"Oh baby," I moan as I feel her warmth envelop my fingers "You're so fucking wet," I shift slightly, just enough to push her thighs apart and kneel between them. I move my arm, curling my fingers to graze the patch of nerves buried deep inside just enough to make her twitch beneath me, but not enough to send her over the edge. I want to taste her, removing my fingers and receiving a groan in protest from Sophie. I don't drag out the process of pulling her pants off and lifting her legs up and over my shoulders. I look up at her one last time, her blue eyes bright and blazing down into my own and I lower my mouth to cover her.

A deep, almost growl like sound escapes Sophie's mouth when my tongue dances over her clit. I can't stop the moan that passes my own lips as I taste her properly for the first time, it's better than I could ever of imagined. Like a rare delicacy that deserves to be relished and savoured, my tongue searches ravenously for any hidden spot there may be where that precious nectar may be stored away.

The way I'm kneeling and holding her legs around my shoulders causes her bum to lift off of the bed, I shift my focus from her clit and thrust my tongue inside her. Tasting her direct from the source, my nose pushes against her clit and moves as I twist my head in small, circular motions. Sophie's fingers for twist in my hair and she holds me to her, I can feel her legs tremble around my neck as she hooks her ankles together. Effectively trapping my face buried between her legs, like I'd go anywhere though. This is where I want to be, I'd happily spend a lifetime worshipping this body in any way she would let me.

I feel her walls tighten around my tongue, I open my eyes and let them travel the length of her body watching the muscles clench. When they finally rest on her face, it takes my breath away all over again. Her eyes are tightly shut and her teeth are biting down hard on her bottom lip, her nostrils are flared and her chest is heaving. It's amazing. Knowing it's me bringing her here, that thought spurs me back into action and I double my efforts, bringing my tongue out to twirl around her clit before sucking it in between my lips. Her hands tighten in my hair and I taste it, her climax fills my mouth and she falls silent. The room fills with her heavy breathing, but the moaning comes to an abrupt halt and if it wasn't for the fact I could feel her body tighten beneath me, or that I could taste her orgasm. I'd be questioning whether it'd had actually happened. I lower her legs back onto the bed and crawl up to lie next to her, her arms wrap around me and I rest my head on her naked shoulder.

I know reality is going to set in soon, I know it won't last like this and come the morning real life will get in the way and all this will just be a painful and delicious memory. But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it whilst I can.

Sophie -- June 5^th

I can't remember the last time someone made me come like that, Ella has her head nestled in the crook of my neck, her arm is thrown lazily across my body and her leg is tangled in mine. I laugh dryly and hear her say something about why am I laughing as I turn my face to kiss the top of her head "I'm laughing because I'm here, stark bollock naked, and you're still half dressed."

She lifts her head up and sets me with a challenging look, a playful smirk on her lips and as quick as I could think it, she's wiggled herself out of her jeans and unclasped her bra and thrown it on the floor. My face must be a picture because a girlish giggle escapes her lips and she leans down and kisses the corner of my mouth. "You look like you don't know what to do with a woman..." she goads, I just cock an eyebrow at her and chew my bottom lip. I let myself think about all the delicious ways I can show her just how much I know what to do with a woman, in one swift movement I pull her back on top of me. Moving so she's straddling my hips, I sit up so we're nose to nose and kiss her deeply. My hands are free to roam her back, her shoulders, my fingers explore her entire torso greedily. Her soft, supple skin feels amazing beneath my fingertips. I feel her shiver below my caresses, one of my hands skates down to her sex and teases her through the cotton of her boxers. The hand still toying with the skin on her waist smooths down to the firm roundness of her arse and squeezes it tightly. My fingers dig into her fleshy cheek and I pull her closer to me.

Our breasts push together causing a pleasurable friction, the sensation alone is enough to make my nipples tighten again. I press the finger toying with her harder against her clit, I can feel her arousal through the soft material, impatiently I snake my hand past the elastic waistband and through the downy softness of the hairs at the top of her mound. My fingers continue their exploration and are rewarded when they dip into her and are coated with her liberal wetness. I trap her clit between two of my fingers and slide them up and down. Ella's breath hitches and she buries her face in my neck, I feel her lips and teeth press against my neck sporadically as I continue the slow, sawing motion.

As I continue my ministrations for a few moments, listening to her breathing become more rapid, feeling her hips begin to move more frantically when I apply more pressure and speed to her. And then I stop, her head snaps up and I can almost hear the protest threatening to escape before quickly silencing it with a long, wet kiss.

I drop back onto the bed and shimmy down along the mattress until her thighs are settled on either side of my cheeks. I tilt my face to the side and kiss her skin, my eyes flicking up to meet hers as she watches me with interest. I run my nose along the length of her core and close my eyes as I inhale deeply, my mouth begins salivating. With one hand I push the gusset of her underwear to the side and take in the sight of her above me, her lips swollen with arousal, glistening in the soft light of the bedroom. Taking a deep, steadying breath I raise my lips to cover hers and let my tongue run languidly across her sex.

Her hips twitch above me every time my tongue takes a swipe, I want to bury my face in her and lose my self completely. But I want to savour her, commit this feeling to memory and discover every little thing that makes her pant and gasp and writhe the way she is above me now.

I'm so lost in enjoying the sensation of Ella grinding against my tongue, that it takes a moment for me to process the feeling of prying fingers inside of me. My hips shoot up off the bed as I feel her fingers explore me, stroking my clit furiously. I still my tongue for just a second and focus on the sparks of electricity that begin shooting through my body at the intimacy of her touch before I grasp her hips firmly and pull her hard against my face and set to work. My tongue stops the slow, sensual exploration it was enjoying and goes into overdrive as I begin battering her clit with it. My fingers dig into the soft flesh at her hips and I use the pressure to control the way her hips move against me. My hips however are moving in abandon, and it's taking all my focus to not forget what I'm meant to be doing.

The whole thing is overwhelming, the taste of this beguiling woman straddling my face, the feeling of her dexterous fingers circling my clit at a rapid pace. It's too much, I can feel myself climbing that glorious stairway to another climax. I need to fight it, put it off until she comes. Fuck, it's so hard.

"Come with me," she moans out, her breathing quickening as her hips begin to pick up pace and move in time with her fingers. All I can do is moan my agreement and double my efforts.

Ella tenses around me, her legs go rigid and her hips still as she pushes down further into my mouth. She moans out loudly, and that sound alone tips me over the edge, I grip her hips tightly. My fingernails bite into her skin and I feel my toes curl against the smooth cotton of the bed sheets below them.

Ella tumbles off of me, taking my face between her hands and kissing the entire surface of my face with her lips. "You... That was... We just... Fuck..." She mumbles, before kissing my lips, tasting herself there.

I just nod against her lips and hold her close, relishing the warmth of her skin against my own. She buries her face in my neck and I tighten my arms around her as she pulls the covers up and over us and we just lie there together. Our legs entwined, her arm draped lazily across my waist, her head resting on the crook of my arm as the fingers from that hand plays with her hair. My other arm sits on her hips and traces small circles on the skin, and like that we just stay together. Basking in the post coital glow, and I enjoy it. That is until the guilt starts to creep in and my thoughts turn to the reality of what I've just done.

"Do you regret it?" She asks after we lie in silence for a while. my fingers still at her question. I don't answer her straight away, I take a breath and think about what I want to say. To process what I'm feeling, as soon as my fingers begin moving again I begin to speak.

"No, I don't regret it."

"I sense there's a but, or a however about to drop... so just spit it out Sophie..."

I sigh loudly and kiss her forehead "I don't regret this. I really don't. I feel guilty, and I know when I leave tomorrow it's gonna hurt like hell. But no, I don't regret this."

Ella takes a deep breath and I can just about make out the shape of her brows furrowed in concern, I reach up and smooth them out with my thumb before she catches my hand and holds it to her cheek. I feel her lips press against my palm before she leans into my touch "What does this mean, Sophie?" She whispers, I can hear the agony in her voice and feel a warm wetness on my hand. I want to pull her to me and comfort her, but the raw honesty in her voice holds me back.

I swallow to try and moisten my dry, itchy throat and blink back my own tears "I don't know Ella. I wish I could give you the answer you want, but I really don't know."

"Do you want to be with me?"

I chew my lip and let the breath I've been holding out in a long, drawn out sigh "If I did would you ever be able to trust me? I've just cheated on my girlfriend and I don't regret it. Granted that has more to do with the fact that it was with you, but still..."

"Have you done this before?"

I snatch my hand away from her and push myself so I'm sitting up and against the headboard, I glare down at her, my jaw clenched in a tight line "No, I haven't done this before. Is that what you think of me? That I'm some sort of serial cheat?" I spit out. I watch as Ella visibly recoils away from my venomous tone and I feel a sharp stab in the gut at her reaction.

"No, that isn't what I think of you at all." She whispers, her eyes focused on the eccentric patterned bedspread, "It's just, I would trust you. I do trust you," she takes a shallow shaky breath and I try and keep up my stoic façade as I watch her. "I think the world of you Soph, I always have done. You've been a great friend and this," she gestures between us and warily meets my eyes "What we have, it can't be faked. It can't be forced. Being with you is the most natural truth I've known."

I run my hand through my sex tousled hair and sigh heavily, slinking back down next to her and rest my forehead against hers "I wish it were easier Ella, I need to get house in order. And I can't tell you I'm going to go home tomorrow and break it to Becca, and then you and I are going to go off and find some semblance of a 'Happy ever after' because it may not happen." I pause and pull back, cupping her face in my hands and force her to look at me "But, that doesn't mean that this doesn't change things. Because it does."

I lean in and kiss her mouth one more time, savouring the feel of her lips against mine. The softness left by her fallen tears feels wonderful against my own mouth, I nibble at her lips lightly and place a soft kiss to the tip of her nose. "For tonight at least, I just want to enjoy this. Enjoy you," I whisper. Ella nods her understanding and pulls me closer to her, draping her leg over my hips. Her lips ghost over my neck and up to my ear, I shiver against her, half in anticipation of what's about to happen.

"Then I supposed we'd better stop the talking and move onto more... physical activities." I laugh when she pushes me back against the mattress and claims my mouth once more with her own, her body pressed firmly against my own. I hesitate for the briefest second before surrendering completely to her will. I can't tell what tomorrow is going to bring, but for tonight, I'm going to enjoy this woman and I'll worry about everything else later.

June 6^th

15:11 [EJ] -- Did you get home ok? I hated saying goodbye earlier.

16:00 [SC] -- Just walked in, got stuck in traffic. Me too, it wasn't fun, but it had to be done.

16:04 [EJ] -- I know, you don't need to keep reminding me about how shit the situation is.

16:05 [SC] -- I'm not, please don't be like this. I'm tired, my head hurts and I need to try and talk to Becca.

16:15 [EJ] -- Ok, let me know how it goes.

16:40 [EJ] -- Thinking of you.

17:40 [EJ] -- You guys still talking?

18:30 [EJ] -- I'm starting to worry a little, the Ice Queen hasn't reached for the knives yet has she?

19:03 [EJ] -- Sophie? What's going on? Call me or something... please?

19:58 [SC] -- Sorry, I can't do this. I need some time, some space to think about this. I'm not choosing her. I'm not choosing anyone right now. I just... I need time.

Sophie - June 24^th

Paris is beautiful, and romantic and everything Becca was hoping it would be. We go home tomorrow and that's when I'm going to tell her about Ella, I'm going to tell her that I don't want to be with her anymore. That I love her, but not in the way I used to. Not in the way that it makes me want to crawl over hot coals just to make her happy, tell her that we've grown apart in so many different ways and I'm out of reasons to stay with her. I need to tell her that she needs to take this chance to be happy with someone that can give her all the things I can't. Kids, marriage, a future.

I still haven't spoken to Becca about what happened whilst I was in Scotland. I plan on dropping that bombshell as soon as we get home, I want her to enjoy this trip. I want it to be the last good thing she remembers me for before I turn our lives upside down by not only telling her that I slept with another woman, but I'm also leaving her. She can have the house, I've already put a deposit down on an apartment close to work and it's ready for me to move into when we get back.

I miss Ella, I haven't really spoken to her since I sent her a very short and blunt message about how I needed space. She left me alone for a few days, I caved first and called her, apologising for being so harsh with her. I tried to explain that whilst I do need time to work out the cluster fuck that is my brain right now, doesn't meant that I want to push her away. That her friendship is the best thing that's happened to me in years and to lose that because I couldn't keep my pants on, I'd be devastated.

True to form, Ella is gracious and courteous and tells me to take all the time I need and that she'll be there for whatever I need. This obviously makes me feel like a bigger piece of shit than I already do. But we return back to daily texts, they're cooler and more formal than before. But she's still there, ever present, a constant reminder of my infidelity.

I sit on the terrace of our extortionate, boutique hotel suite, sipping a cup of strong, black coffee and scrolling through my emails. Work, work, more work, the occasional email promising me millions from a distant relative from Uganda and that I need to send any and all my personal details in order to claim my money. I scroll through old messages, not looking for anything in particular. Until my eyes fall on an old thread, the name catches my attention instantly: JAMES, ELLA

I hover over the thread, debating inwardly whether I should open it or if it's just going to cause more turmoil and confusion. The craving to remind myself of how it, us, began is too tempting though, so I tap the screen with my index finger and read eagerly.

TO: Sophie Chambers

FROM: Ella James

Sent: 27/02/2017 18:17 GMT

SUBJECT: Recognising and rewarding performance in base level emp's

Dear Sophie,

I read you piece on the subject above and I just wanted to thank you for sharing it!

As a member of the small team that represents HR in a start up import/export company, we've been looking at ways and ideas at how best to recognise the performance of the team that works the warehouse. This is brilliant and I'll be sharing it with the team and my managers on Monday!

If you have any other pearls of wisdom you'd like to share, I'm very willing to hear any and all of what you have to tell me.

Kindest Regards

Ella James

I smile at the iPad in my hand, it's strange how such a brief and professional email spiralled into months of constant communication. My eyes scan the 112 strong email thread, mostly polite, friendly chatter about our jobs. The differences in our roles, mine as a senior HR manager of an international company, hers similar but on a smaller scale. We talk about family, friends, hobbies, common interests.

It changes when I, for some reason, begin having trouble receiving her emails so send her my number to text me if she feels comfortable doing so. This memory prompts me to pull out my phone, and open the messages from her, I scroll through hundreds and hundreds of messages.

There really is an incredible amount, some short, some in extensive detail about different things.

March 3^rd

09:57 [EJ] -- Hi, it's Ella. Got your email and now you to have my number