Karma

I stared down at the twenty knowing he'd given me a few extra dollars because of last night. My eyes narrowed when I noticed a paperclip attached to the twenty. Picking it up I turned it over to see a piece of paper clipped to the back. On it was a hand written note.

Karma, I consider you a friend and value that friendship, if you value mine you'll meet me at two at Panera. Please come, I will be hurt if you don't. Joe."

*****

I sat at the corner table in Panera bread idly stirring the tea I didn't feel like drinking and trying to avoid making eye contact with Joe who had just come in and sat down across from me. We sat there for a couple of minutes the only sound being his placing his mug on the table after practically chugging the coffee he'd brought over with him. Finally he cleared his throat and when my only reaction was to begin toying with my locket he broke the silence.

"Karma, what were you doing at Crossroads last night?"

"Well, I..." I was already blushing, "Money's been tight and I...I figured I could get a free meal and..."

"So you went to a homeless shelter? Try again."

When I didn't speak he finished his coffee in one long swallow and asked, "So where is your new place?"

"I told you it's near..."

"What's the exact address?"

"I moved into William's hall."

"Really? That's a little pricey for you."

"It is, but I had to move in a hurry and the rent eats up my entire check and I couldn't afford food this week so..."

"I know Jack Williams." Joe said, "He's one of my clients, once offered me a chance to buy into the building. I checked it out pretty thoroughly. So tell me what floor are you on?"

I forced my hand away from my locket and staring into his eyes answered, "The fourth."

"Ah, that's not too expensive; they're only one bedrooms there."

"That's what I have, but its expensive for me and..."

"The only one bedroom's in that building are on the first floor." He sighed, "Why are you lying to me Karma?"

"I...I just don't like people to know my business."

"Karma, are you living in the street?" Leaning forward he put his hand over mine, "You can tell me, I'm not going to judge you, but I'm worried about you."

I could see he was sincere and had to admit his hand on mine had a comforting effect.

"Yes, I...I couldn't pay my rent last month."

"You lived there over a year; the landlord wouldn't work something out with you?"

"He offered a deal, but I didn't like the terms."

"What do you mean?"

Taking a deep breath I told Joe everything. From how Jen screwed me, to Hal's offering a discount for giving him a blow job. I described how I had been getting by the last few weeks and by the time I was done my eyes had filled up and I was struggling not to cry. The entire time Joe kept his hand over mine and more than once I noticed a couple of people staring. I idly wondered if they thought I was his daughter or his girlfriend. I hoped the former because it would bother me for people to think of him that way.

When I had finished he squeezed my hand before releasing it and leaning back against his seat. He picked his cup up and frowned when he saw it was empty.

"That's the problem with this place, self service." He placed the cup on the table and began tapping it while he appeared lost in thought.

"I'm sorry I ran out on you. I was just so humiliated."

"I understand. What I don't understand is why you didn't say anything." He spread his hands out. "You know I would have helped you, I could have lent you some money."

"But how would I pay it back? Then I would be in the same boat the following month."

"I have plenty of money you could have paid me back whenever, or never for that matter."

"But I do."

"So your plan is to what? Finish school living in the street?"

"No, in another two weeks I should have enough money to pay security and two weeks rent to get into the Ivy. Then..."

"The Ivy? That's in one of the worse places in town!" he rolled his eyes, "You're safer on the street in the neighborhood then you would be in an apartment there."

"But I can afford it."

"You can?"

"Mostly, I mean I wouldn't have much left, but I already have my name in to get into a place like where I was with a roommate."

"So you'll live in a shitty place and cross your fingers you can eat for the next three months?"

"Well...."

"And what about next semester's books? If all your money is rent how will you buy them?"

"Oh, I didn't think of that." I frowned.

"Karma, here is what I would like to do."

"I don't want money Joe." I crossed my arms and shook my head hard enough to cause my pony tail to swing back and forth. "I can't pay you back and I don't want a hand out."

"I'm not going to give you money."

"I don't want you paying for an apartment for me either."

"Not that either. What you're going to do is move in with me for the summer."

"What? I can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Well because..." I paused trying to think of a good reason other than I didn't want people to think anything was going on. Coming up with nothing I went with that, "What would people think?"

"What people?" he waved his hand, "Billy and that slut Maria? If that's what you're worried about who says they have to know."

"What about your neighbors?"

"The guys will think wow good for him, the women will think..."

"You're a pig and I don't want that. You're a nice guy and it would bother me for them to think you're a sugar daddy."

"Wouldn't bother me," he laughed. "Hey if anything it would help. Half the women there are my age and single. A couple of them are after me to the point they make Maria look subtle."

"So why not have some fun then."

"That's my business!" He snapped with an uncharacteristic heat.

"Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry it's just I get that question a lot. I guess my wife dying is supposed to be a license to act like a dog in heat. Anyway don't worry about the neighbors."

"But..."

"Look, five years ago when my daughter Karen graduated, Laura and I thought she was going to come back home for awhile. I had most of the basement turned into a three room apartment with its own bathroom and a separate entrance. She ended up staying in California and we never bothered renting it. Anyone asks I'm renting it to a college student." He shrugged, "The fact you're very attractive will cause some talk, but it's not like we're in the same space."

"I can't pay you much."

"I don't want your money. You live there for the summer, bank your money and come fall you move in with someone and can afford your books." He smiled, "I never did anything with Karen's Toyota. I keep it as a spare for when mine is in the shop; you can use it if you want."

"Joe I can't take that from you at least not for nothing. I don't want handouts."

"It's a hand up. Dinner at Crossroads is a hand out."

"Ouch." I clutched at my chest.

"Well stop being stubborn." He pointed at me, "Besides, it won't be for free."

"You'll take money?"

"No, I'll take trade."

"What?" My eyes widened.

"Not that!" Joe exclaimed and for the first time since I knew him he began to blush, "Jeez I should have known better after the story you told me."

"Sorry, I shouldn't have thought that." I sighed, "Not thinking straight these days."

"Stress, and sooner or later it will affect your grades. You need this Karma, its okay to need something."

"So what's the trade?"

Joe grinned and for a moment I found myself thinking that if he had wanted what Hal did there was a chance I might not be so quick to say no. Joe was a good looking man and the fact he was so nice made him that much more attractive. I blinked and rubbed at my eyes; where the hell had that come from? Then again I hadn't been with anyone since I'd broken up with Rob six months ago.

"Well I know looking at the way I dress you would think I'm a neat freak."

"Yup." I agreed looking at his still impeccably knotted tie.

"But I'm only that careful with my personal appearance at home I'm pretty sloppy. I had a cleaning lady, but she left the agency for a permanent job. So I figure you can do the cleaning."

"I could do that." I nodded beginning to consider the idea.

"Also I can't cook to save my life and eat way too much take out so how about you make dinner every night?"

"I'm not the greatest cook." I noted.

"If you can make more than grilled cheese you have me beat."

"Then I'd be able to cook." I laughed.

"One more thing."

"What?"

"We eat together." His smile faded. "Dinner is the time of the day that I feel alone. I get up early go for run, go to the diner then work all day. But when I'm home I stop and," he shrugged, "I miss having someone to talk to. So," the smile returned, "Now you see my ulterior motive. I am a sick man who is looking to make you endure my boring conversation and bad jokes."

"You're not boring at all."

"What about the jokes?"

"You're not funny at all either." I laughed and after trying to keep a straight face he did as well.

"See that's what I want, the house is like a mor..." he caught himself. "It's too quiet."

"Joe?"

"What are you going to come up with now?" he rolled his eyes, "never met a twenty year old who worried so much."

"Twenty one last month." I said indignantly.

"Oh! I forgot, then we can have wine at dinner and I won't feel like I'm corrupting a minor."

"Joe, why are you doing this?"

"Because we're friends and friends help friends."

"Yeah, but it's a big deal."

"Karma, let me bore you with a little bit about me. I am a lucky man for the most part. My father had money and I never wanted for anything. I went to a private high school where I met the woman who became the love of my life and eventually my wife. I went to a good college and landed a great job. I live in a beautiful home, raised an amazing daughter and make damn good money doing what I enjoy. In fact up until Laura passed the word I always used was blessed."

He paused and once again staring wistfully at his empty cup sighed, "But my grandfather who started the old family business never wanted my father to be spoiled and made him work as well as give time to charities. My father did the same. As a teenager I had part time jobs and every Sunday my father took me to the soup kitchen he volunteered at and we would help serve dinner, something that as you saw I still do as well as a few other things when I can."

"That's really nice."

"The reason my father said we did this was twofold. One was too give back. We'd been fortunate and it was only right to try to share some of that fortune. The second was to teach humility. To spend time with people to whom a lot of people in our class so to speak would look down upon. The only difference between those people and us was who we were born too and some good luck. Without either we could be them. So I do what I can to help those who need it."

"That's..." I started to choke up, "That's really nice Joe. Seems like all I hear about are jerks like Hal."

"Hal will get his." Joe grunted disgustedly, and then grinned, "But I shouldn't have to explain Karma to you now should I?"

"I guess not."

"Why did your mom name you that?"

"That's my business." I gave my hair a toss for emphasis.

"Oh, touché," He nodded, "Okay, maybe another time. So deal? You move in?"

"I..." he slapped his forehead when I hesitated.

"Karma, think of your mom."

"That's not fair."

"Life isn't all the time as we both recently learned. But don't forget I met her a few times. I thought it was great she would drive across town to come visit you while you worked. When you were busy I had time to talk to her and she was so proud of you said you were everything she always wanted to be. You were everything to her."

"And she was the same to me." This time I lost the fight and could feel the tears on my cheek.

Joe removed his yellow handkerchief from his pocket and reaching out gently wiped the tears from my cheeks. It was a sweet gesture which for some reason caused me to cry a little harder.

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to upset you, but ask yourself, would your mother want you on the street or in the home of someone who can do what she can't anymore, look out for you?"

Joe put the handkerchief in my hand and as he leaned back I dabbed at my eyes hoping people weren't watching. His words had hit home; mom would want me to do the smart thing or as she would always say the next right thing. Joe was right, although not drastically my grades were down a little and no doubt would continue that way. What was I going to do study for finals at the bus stop? Pulling myself together I nodded, "Okay I'll move in."

"Good." He smiled, then snapped his fingers, "Oh I forgot, there is one more thing you're going to need to do."

"What's that?"

"The rule is that at dinner you have to laugh at one of my jokes. So what do you say?"

With a mock sigh I shrugged, "Maybe the park bench isn't so bad after all."

*****

I pulled the six year old red Camry into the driveway and as I did every day, smiled. I had moved in with Joe a little over a month ago and still loved the sight of the large blue colonial style house. Even though I knew it wasn't mine and I was only staying for the summer I found it hard to believe I was living in a home this nice. Mom had done well enough to buy a small condo in a good area, but to me condo's were little different from apartments; this was a home!

I got out of the air conditioned car and blinked at the wave of heat that assaulted me. It was unseasonably warm for the end of June, but that caused my smile to spread. Joe hadn't mentioned he had an in ground swimming pool and tonight would be another night for a lazy early evening swim. Walking up the driveway towards my back entrance I saw Ralph, the next door neighbor watering his flowers.

He was watching me as he always did and I gave him a big wave. He waved back and once I passed him I could feel him staring at me. I was wearing a cute little black sundress that displayed quite a bit of my long legs and the heeled sandals I was wearing did good things for them. I'm sure Ralph liked what he saw, but knew not anywhere as much what he would see when I went swimming.

I had splurged on a new red bikini and although it was not one of those strings that some of the girls wore, it did show me off quite a bit. I'd caught Ralph, as well as George, the neighbor on the other side, watching me every time I lay out to catch some sun. As I figured, Joe's male neighbors were very friendly, but their wives all but meowed whenever they saw me. In the beginning I did feel bad about Joe's reputation, but he made it pretty clear he was getting a kick out of people thinking he had a little trophy girl as he called it living with him.

Still, when I occasionally spoke to the neighbors I stressed how much I loved the little apartment I was staying in and even though I didn't go downstairs for the night until late, I always made a show of using my entrance. That wasn't a lie; the apartment was fantastic, the three rooms took up most of the basement and were completely furnished, including a flat screen TV and a nice desk to use for studying.

The semester had ended two weeks ago so I wouldn't be using the desk too much anymore, but that would leave me more pool time! Although I had felt odd moving in, Joe had been right. I was able to sleep soundly and get back to focusing on my classes. I'd aced my finals and finished with my highest GPA to date. The use of the car was even better than the pool. I had been busing for months and had forgotten how good it felt to drive.

I hadn't been late for work since I'd moved in and now got a kick out of seeing Joe before I left in the morning then seeing him at the diner and playing out our usual routine. We had both agreed it wouldn't be a good idea to say anything and it was kind of fun to play it up and feel like I knew something others didn't.

I went to put my key in the door and dropped it. When I bent over to pick it up I could see Ralph staring and realized the back of my dress had risen. I grabbed the keys and quickly turning waved again so he would know I caught him. I saw his eyes widen from across the driveway and even as he gave a weak wave back he turned and headed into his back yard.

I laughed while letting myself in and tossing my purse on the small coffee table walked through the apartment and headed upstairs. It dawned on me that in the past I had always felt funny when I noticed someone looking at me, but lately, as long as the guy didn't look creepy or add a lewd remark to his stare, I was starting to get a kick out of it. Especially by the pool and even more so when it was Joe I noticed looking.

Joe didn't swim much, but enjoyed sitting in a lounge chair while reading the stock reports he brought home with him or a magazine. The first few times I'd gone swimming it seemed every time I looked his way, he seemed to look away. In the beginning I thought I was imagining things. I'd been listening to Pat, Billy and Maria bust me up for months that he had a thing for me and figured it had gotten to me.

But after a few times I started trying to catch him; I made sure I was lying on the side of the pool near the sliding glass doors and if the sun was just right I could see him reflected in the glass. I would keep my back to him and make a show of stretching. Sure enough his eyes were looking straight ahead, the magazine leaning against his chest as he stared. Once I knew I found myself uncharacteristically showing off.

I would stretch my legs out and slowly rub lotion on them and then roll over on my stomach and kick my legs back and forth while flipping through a magazine. Once I had wondered what he would do if I asked him to put lotion on my back. I drew the line at that; there was a difference between a little tease and being too forward. Letting myself into the kitchen I went over to the fridge and opening it peered in to see what I felt like making for dinner.

As I perused the contents of the freezer, I recalled how although I'd not pulled the lotion stunt in real life I'd done it a few times in my sleep. I tried to shake that thought off, but it wasn't easy. Fact was Joe wasn't the only one doing a little peeking. I'd known he was an attractive guy for his age, but had now changed that to being good looking period.

Seeing him around the house in a t-shirt and jeans I noticed he was in pretty good shape and true to his word he did go running every morning. I'd only seen him without a shirt a couple of times when he did take a quick dip in the pool and had to admit the sight was far from unpleasant. Of course neither of us said a word about it or even made any jokes. If he felt as I did, he probably felt it didn't seem right.

I had no illusion he was interested. But was pretty sure he didn't mind the occasional distraction of checking out his young boarder. But the fact I'd had a couple of far from innocent dreams about him did bother me a little. Maybe it was time to get out and have some fun. There were a couple of guys at school that had given me their number, but anytime I thought of calling, I ended up changing my mind and hanging out with Joe.

Joe had the same easy going personality at home as at the diner and his rule of us eating together was one of the best parts of staying with him. We talked about everything and nothing and laughed quite a bit although never at his jokes unless it was at how bad they were. I found I enjoyed his company far more than that of the guys my age.

Joe was laid back and fun and I never had to worry about everything I said being interpreted as "let's fuck" which is what most of the guys in school seemed hear no matter what I had actually said. I guess the word was safe, Joe was safe. I could be myself and not worry about putting on an act or feeling obligated to do anything. Joe also exuded a confidence that was something else I discovered I was a bit attracted to. Boys my age were just that; boys.