Mage, Man

The manticore jumped high into the air, leaving my stomach on the ground below. He flapped into the early evening air and began an easy glide forward and down, towards the town. I looked back over my shoulder, past August to the high tower as it slowly began to recede into the distance. It had looked so frightening, so ominous when I first arrived. How now did it seem to soften to my eyes? Was it possible I could miss the place?

August put an arm around me like he had so long ago. "Don't lean like that, you need to be more careful." He said sternly.

The flight back to town was much shorter than the ride to the magedom had been on account of gravity doing most of Sarthis' work. I filled with emotion as we passed through a cloud and the village came into view beneath us. It was just the same as it had always been. I saw no signs of damage from the lightning storm from before, although months had passed since then. I could see the town square, and the forest on three sides, the fields where we grew our crops and the small lake where I used to fish beyond. Life would finally slow down for me again, and I could get back to the simple rigors of small town life. I wondered briefly if that was something I even wanted anymore.

The entire descent only took a handful of minutes and before I knew it, Sarthis was holding in place over some startled townsfolk in the center of town, sending them running in several directions. The manticore closed his wings then and landed lithely on the small paving stones of the square. Some of the townspeople began to emerge from their houses, anxious to see if the mage had come to address them.

As they approached, August boomed at them. "I don't need an audience today! Back to your homes!" They obediently retreated from sight.

"Do you need help getting down?" August asked me in a much softer tone.

I said nothing. I wasn't ready to disembark. There were still so many thoughts swirling about in my head, so many things I wanted to say to August. Why was it so challenging for me?

I felt August let out a long breath against my back. "What's going on? We're here, like you wanted." He said with an air of impatience.

"Is this what you want?" I asked, still facing forward.

"A fine time to ask me that!" He retorted. "Of course not, but that is beside the point."

"Why do you say that?" I asked, still staring blankly ahead.

"Because, you know how I feel about you, and, we both know you don't feel the same about me." I could hear the resignation in his voice and it filled me with regret. I could feel his heartbeat quicken.

"What if I do?" I heard myself ask.

I heard the mage's voice crack behind me. "Well?! Do you or don't you? Do you love me, Lawrence?" He pleaded.

"I want to." I said as hot tears filled my eyes.

"Look at me, boy!" August commanded.

I turned to look at him, streaks making their way down my face. August gently caressed my cheek and touched my neck.

"I've watched you grow up into a fine man." August began. "I thought you were quite handsome and I noticed over the years, as I visited the village that you never took a wife. I reasoned, maybe, you were like me in that regard. I finally worked up my nerve and made a plan to have you stay with me."

"But the others, you could have picked any of them--" I started.

He gave me a slow shake of his head. "No Lawrence, you were always going to be the one I chose. I just wanted to make kind of a show of it. I just wanted to get to know you."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked through the tears.

"Because, you deserve to know." Against me his body began to tremble. "If this is the end of our time together, I don't want there to be any secrets left. You've meant the world to me and I'll never forget about you." He began to quietly sob.

"August, please don't." I cried softly.

He lifted me bodily from Sarthis' back and leaned over to let me slide lightly to the ground. I still had my small bag over my arm but he grabbed the large leather satchel he had brought with him and handed it down to me.

"What is this?" I asked, taking the heavy bag from him.

"They belong to you. Don't open it here." He gathered up the reins again and I knew he meant to take flight once more.

"You're just going to leave me like this?" I asked angrily through the tears that stained my face.

"I can't do this anymore." He said with resignation as he looked down at me. Tears had begun to weave their way down his cheeks as well and I was startled to see that they glowed. "I can't live with you, eat with you, share your bed, knowing you don't love me. I'm not strong enough to keep holding onto that glimmer of hope." He said between sobs. "It's not fair, and you have your life here. Let's just be on our separate ways. Goodbye Lawrence."

I couldn't force a single word from my dry mouth.

He straightened himself then and yanked back on the reins. "Sarthis! Home!" He commanded and the manticore took off into the still air, leaving me gasping for breath and cursing the sky.

And just like that, he was gone. And even though I was back in my town of a couple hundred familiar faces, I had never felt so completely alone.

CHAPTER 10: TIME

When August left I came apart inside. I could feel something unraveling somewhere within and couldn't seem to spool it back together. Even as I watched until he disappeared from view, I was willing him to come back. I picked up the heavy satchel that the mage had tossed to me. He had said not to open it here so I began to trudge back to my home, a small cottage in the southern part of town. I barely noticed the faces of villagers as they peered at me through their windows as I wandered past. I crested a small hill in the road as I neared the edge of town. In the distance my tiny wooden house sat near two large firs. It looked so familiar, like nothing had changed in the entire time I had been away.

Thomas pelted up after me as I nearly reached my front door.

"It's true then!" He said with a bewildered expression. "The old mage brought you back?! Oh I can't believe it!" Thomas wrapped his arms around me and gave me a friendly hug.

"Hi Thomas." I said. I actually managed something of a smile as I gave him a weak hug in return. He was my best friend in town after all, and I was glad to see him, despite how the rest of me felt.

"Are you alright? Did he hurt you? Torture you? I-I don't know if you remember but I tried to be the one he took with him before!" His eyes searched my face.

"I know Thomas, and I think that was very brave. But, it was always going to be me, that went up to that place." I dropped my smile and looked down at my hand, sitting on the doorknob. I tried to turn it, absently, but it held firm.

"Oh, I uh, kept your key while you were away, Law. We just thought, you would come back someday, Jenna and I." He said as he fished around in his trouser pocket. "Here we go!"

He produced the house key with a grin. Then he moved just in front of me to unlock the door, which he opened. It swung wide with a slight creak and quiet darkness spread into the room before us.

"We made sure it stayed pretty clean. Came by once a week to sweep and wipe the windows." Thomas explained as he led the way inside.

It was the same, exactly the same as when I had left. My little kitchen area with three chairs, the fireplace, my small unmade bed off to one side. Thomas dashed over to the fireplace and began to light one of the lamps sitting on the hearth. The tiny house glowed with soft light. It was hard not to make a mental comparison with the size of the magedom.

"Thanks, Thomas. It looks great." I said weakly.

"You... aren't really alright are you?" He asked tentatively.

I found my way over to the bed and sat down heavily on the edge, setting my small bag of clothes and the large leather satchel beside me.

"I guess, I'm not really alright. I probably just need to get back into the swing of life here." I shrugged and tried to look hopeful. I knew it to be a lie. There was still a lump in my throat that I couldn't swallow and an ache in my stomach. They had developed as we landed, and only worsened since.

"Is there anything I can do?" Thomas asked with a concerned look on his face.

"You already have, and I appreciate it." I replied. I gave him a look to show I meant what I had said.

"Okay." He replied giving a slight grimace, then added. "What's in the bags?"

"Clothes in this one," I answered, dumping out the smaller bag's contents. "And this one..." I began to unfasten the buckle keeping the larger bag closed. I lifted the leather and shouldn't have been surprised to find a stack of books inside. I began to haul them out, one at a time, and set them in my lap. Thomas watched with great interest as I did.

"Wow, that's a lot of books!" He whistled. "Did you, have to steal them?"

"These are gifts from a friend." I said, feeling the ache inside become even more unbearable.

I read each cover carefully and flipped through a couple pages. The book on biology was here, the one I had found so interesting. There was a cookbook for beginners: that one forced a smile from me, quickly followed by more wrenching of my stomach. I found the horticulture book, the one I had been reading when August found me in the garden. Lastly was a history book. I turned it over in my hands and opened it to its contents page. It appeared to outline the history of humans from back before the Demon Wars, back when mankind lived in towering cities of glass and metal around the world. There were artists' conceptions of architecture, fashion, transportation and something called technology.

Thomas came over and sat down next to me. "What is all that?" He asked.

"It's what we came from." I stated. "What people were once, before mages had to contain us behind walls to protect us from our own natures."

I bit my lip, hard, to focus on that pain rather than what was bubbling up inside. I couldn't help but think of August, sitting behind his big desk, eyeglasses slipping down his nose as he read to me aloud from books just like this one, answering my many questions patiently with an amused look on his face. Even as he left me here he gave me gifts to learn from and remember.

I sobbed suddenly, violently, and had to throw my head back and cough to stop myself. Thomas gave me a worried look.

"That old bastard really did a number on you, didn't he?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"You have no idea." I said quietly, holding my head in my hands.

I felt lost and aimless over the next few weeks. It had seemed that the majority of the town welcomed me back, at least at first. Word spreads quickly in a small town like this and many had seen me pleading with the mage, tears sparkling on both of our cheeks. It was decided by many that I was under some sort of magical spell or control, a pawn of August's released back into the local populace. If I was acting like my old self again, maybe they wouldn't have been so suspicious of me. As it was, I was despondent much of the time and sullen. The odd jobs and work around town failed to lure me out of seclusion and I spent many of my days and nights inside my cottage. I would read some of the afternoons and evenings, it proved a decent distraction occasionally. During the worst of it, I might barely manage to leave the bed more than a few times that day.

Thomas visited me, sometimes with Jenna, to bring me food or what news might have been circulating from the town. But when the day was over, I would find myself alone in my bed. I missed him the most during the nights. The sex had felt amazing, his hot mouth, his ass, the taste of his cock... but it was in the middle of the night, remembering the warm strength of his arms around me that was the most difficult. It was almost unbearable. I missed the physical nature of our relationship, but I longed for his touch, to feel safe in his arms again more than anything. Sometimes, lying in my bed in the darkness my body was wracked by the emotional pain over what I had thrown away.

Occasionally I would poke around outside my house in town, but not for long. I couldn't stand the way people looked at me. Their faces displayed something between pity and mistrust. I would pick up food, lamp oil or wood for the fireplace as it was needed. August's library had taught me that ancient people used to use paper, or precious metals to buy things they needed or wanted. We didn't do that here. August had made a law long ago that food would not be hoarded, but given evenly to all residents, same with all necessary supplies. We had all thought the reasoning was to force us into slaving away in the forests cutting wood, hunting sport and farming foods mostly for him, with the rest going to us. I knew now of course that it was the most sensible way to keep us from staying idle, or bored, while ensuring that we looked after one another. He was our protector after all, and I suspected he was secretly fond of all of us.

As I gathered up enough supplies in the trade quarter of the village, Hunter, a chubby, unhappy-looking man spat at me.

"Stop taking our damn supplies, magedog! You want to eat? You contribute like anyone else!"

I somehow kept my tongue still and turned to leave. I could feel the rage building. These days my fuse was the shortest it had ever been. I had no time for these people. They were so ignorant, so suspicious, so consumed by their own petty existences. I shouldn't blame them, it wasn't their fault. I think, in some ways I was trying to remove myself from them, maybe with enough distance I would find myself back in the tower.

"Hey! That's the last time I'm giving you firewood ya hear?" Shouted Hunter after me. "No puppet of that crazy old monster up there should just be able to take whatever he wants from us normal folk!"

The insult about August was more than I could tolerate. I rushed back to where the pudgy man sat, drew my arm back and clocked him in the face, just as he was about to say another unkind word. He splayed his arms as he was knocked over backward, smashing into the merchant stall behind him.

"Don't you ever say something like that about August again!" I literally screamed it down at him. My eyes were ablaze with fury.

He rolled himself up to a sitting position and was startled to find his nose bleeding. "Did, did you all see that? Defending that old cuss openly? He attacked me! You all saw it!" The fallen man cried out in pain and alarm.

Around me I became aware of the other stall workers milling about, talking anxiously. I began to back away. More of the townsfolk were gathering and they looked angry.

"Son of a bitch!" Yelled someone behind me and I felt hands grabbing me by my arms. There were too many, five or more strong men who had been afraid of me since I returned. I was able to tug an arm free and get one more good punch in before I was taken bodily to the ground. I tasted dirt mixed with a trickle of blood as my teeth cut my upper lip as my face bounced against the packed earth. I felt blows striking me in the sides and arms as I tightened into a ball, trying to defend myself. Even as I was beaten, I couldn't find it in myself to blame them. They were scared, and lashing out. They didn't know August like I did, no one else could. Tears were in my eyes again, but I wasn't sure if it was the physical pain of the assault that brought them.

The blows lessened and finally ended. I could feel throbbing along one side of my body and over my arms and legs. I looked up and saw that Anders had reached the scene and was doing his best to settle everyone.

"You've beaten him, look? He's just as human as he ever was, bleeding in the dirt. Your actions are disgusting!" Anders snarled at the mob and shook his head. He knelt down next to me and began to gently guide me to my feet.

"He deserves worse than he got!" Said Hunter spitefully. "Shoulda heard him speaking up for that old bastard up there." He gestured with a backwards nod of his head to the tall black tower at the top of the wall.

"I said don't talk about him like that, unless you want your fucking tongue ripped out!" I roared and lunged after the portly man again.

Anders, being a fair bit bigger than me was just able to hold me back with a foot planted behind him. Hunter ducked and retreated behind his counter.

"Easy, man!" Anders said into my ear. "You can't win this fight against all of them, leave well enough alone!"

With some effort I calmed myself down just enough to turn and walk away from the nervous-looking crowd.

Anders walked with me out of town as people still chattered and cursed while we left.

"What to do with you, eh?" He asked rhetorically. I suspected he would walk me back to my cottage but instead we turned at the fork towards the lake.

"I should head back to my house." I said.

"No, you should come fishing with me instead." He gave me a serious look.

"Not in the mood, Anders." I replied, giving him an irritated glance.

Anders sighed. "Didn't ask if you were, but if you keep on the way you've been acting the next time could be worse." He said warily.

I knew he might be right, and I certainly wouldn't apologize to Hunter for the blow or for damaging his stall. Perhaps something to clear my head would help to improve my sour mood.

We reached the small shack near the docks and Anders withdrew two rods, reels and a small pail of dirt and worms. He handed one set to me and I automatically began to assemble it and tie a lure to the end. Even though it was the end of autumn, it was an unusually warm day. We walked to the edge of the dock where we both removed our boots and socks to let our feet feel the cool water. Another month or so and the lake might be frozen over. We sat next to one another and I'll admit, part of me did relax at the familiarity of the place.

Anders threaded a small wriggling worm onto his fish hook and cast it out into the shimmering, still waters.

"Talk to me, Lawrence." He began. "I've always considered us friends."

I sighed irritably and cast my own baited hook into the lake. "What do you want to hear?"

"What happened up there? In the tower with that man?" He asked, fixing me with an inquisitive look.

"I, made his food, washed his dirty laundry, put away groceries and any other menial tasks he needed I guess." I said flatly.

"How did he treat you?" Anders asked. He still eyed me carefully.

"How do you think?" I retorted, defensively.

"I'm not sure, it's a small town and people talk, but I want to hear it from you." He said earnestly.

I gulped. "He was... nice." I glanced over at Anders who said nothing but eyed me expectantly. "He was kind to me, and taught me many things. We played games, sometimes, read books many of the days. We worked in his garden, oh it was beautiful, there were trees like you've never seen! There was this enormous stone bath, and there were metal pipes that let in hot water, instantly! It's called plumbing, oh, and sometimes August would cook for me, and it was the best food you've ever had! And..." I trailed off, my voice feeling choked.

Anders watched me in silence for a few moments before speaking. "That's surprising." He stated. "Sounds like you actually had a much better go of it than any of us had thought."

"Yeah. I felt the same way." I said quietly.

"I'm glad he didn't hurt you, Lawrence." Anders said as he laid a comforting hand on my back.

I stared off into the serene waters. "He saved my life you know, on more than one occasion." I said simply.

Anders scratched his head. "It doesn't sound like you're describing the same mage who flies down here on a beast and makes his demands of us."

"Did you know," I began. "That mages are born to human parents? They become mages when they hit puberty and their eyes and hair starts to turn white. Most of them are killed, but some are lucky enough to get away." I said.