My One True Christmas Wish

"Absolutely," I agreed quietly and found myself pushing my chest kind of towards Aubrey so that her breasts were really rubbing up against me.

"It...feels so good," Aubrey announced before she suddenly switched positions and laid down flat on her back right next to me. She scooted over so that from head to toe our bodies were touching on the side closest to each other. I was a little disappointed that she wasn't rubbing her breasts against me anymore, but then a huge thrill ran up my spine when she picked up the leg closest to me and draped it over mine.

"Aubs, are you getting close?" I gasped and forced my hand to stop moving on my pussy before I lost it. I could feel my heartbeat pulsing through my slick lips as my fingers stopped moving.

"Mmmhmm, I am," Aubrey was breathing hard now too. I could see her fingers working her clit and thought the wet little sounds were just as sexy as hell. I glanced down and saw that she was reaching for my hand, but my right hand was kind of occupied. I felt her fingers trace down my arm as she continued rubbing her pussy and then she moaned and her hand gripped the very top of my thigh...the spot on my leg that was dangerously close to my pussy.

"Cumming...I'm...cumming," Aubrey announced through clenched teeth and I could feel her body almost begin to vibrate. Her hand gripped my leg tighter so that her knuckles were touching my hand as I rubbed my clit. "Meg! Cum with me..."

"Yes...YES!" I told her and my voice trailed off as my orgasm bubbled over my consciousness.

I remember my eyes closed. I remember how good Aubrey felt against me as she came. I also remember that I felt a sudden surge of electric pleasure emanate from my clit. It felt so unbelievably good that it was almost painful as that pleasure jolted what seemed like every nerve ending in my body...and that's about all I remember. I mean, it was a truly mind-bending, off-the-chart orgasm...so big that I guess I sort of blacked out for a little while.

I finally opened my eyes and found myself looking directly into Aubrey's. We were lying on our sides facing each other like before. She had scooted up so that we were sharing a pillow. Her flawless face was just right there in front of me about six inches away. I was suddenly a little embarrassed and didn't know whether to smile or cry or what, but suddenly Aubrey's infectious grin was lighting up her face and I couldn't help but smile back at her.

"Holy shit!" she squealed excitedly and put her arm around me. "That was fucking awesome!"

I could only nod as speech seemed to allude me.

She leaned on me and cuddled into me with a hug so that she was practically lying on top of me. It was like she was trying to get as physically close to me as she possibly could. My mind was overwhelmed with sensations. Her large breasts were pressed tightly against my chest and I could feel her hard nipples poking into my breasts. She had instinctively shifted her legs to fit close to me which made our thighs go in between each other's legs. I not only felt her wetness on top of my thigh, but I could feel the soft folds of her pussy against it, too...and I was all too aware that my own still very wet sex was pressed directly against her thigh as well. I felt a funny butterfly kind of feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I honestly don't know who moved first or exactly how it started...but somehow, some way we both started to slowly hump ourselves against each other's thighs. Neither of us said a word to each other. We were still hugging each other tightly. My face was kind of in between Aubrey's head and her shoulder that she was lying on and Aubrey had her face buried in the burrow of my neck. Her lips were close to my ear and I could hear her breathing grow heavier as I felt her pussy move against my thigh.

It didn't take long for either of us to pick up the tempo. I mean it didn't take long at all before we were really thrusting and pumping our hips, grinding away against each other's thighs. This was so confusing to me...this was beyond masturbating and feeling good together, but I've never been more turned on in my life. I could feel her juices running down my leg and I knew I was just as wet. We were both starting to gasp and had worked up a sweat so that our chests were slick with perspiration. The movement of our bodies was causing this really pleasant warm friction as our breasts rubbed together.

I could hear Aubrey whimpering in my ear and then she was whispering to me. "I'm close...I'm close...cum with me, Meg. Please...cum with me."

It was almost magical. Aubrey started to cum with her pussy firmly planted against my thigh and mine against hers, our upper bodies hugging tightly and then my orgasm began right on the heels of hers. We shook and grasped to hold each other tighter as we came, panting into each other's neck. To gain a better purchase in our embrace I felt her hand slide down my back and firmly grab my ass cheek. It felt amazing and extended my orgasm even longer. My mind was kind of reeling as I really didn't know what to think...but without a doubt I've never felt closer to someone. We both finally just kind of collapsed in a loose embrace, our bodies twitching slightly with the little aftershocks of our orgasms.

I was really glad when she finally broke the silence because I didn't' have the first clue as to what to say after something like that.

"I just love you so much," Aubrey whispered and leaned back from our intimate embrace to give me the most genuine smile of affection. She leaned forward and softly pressed her lips against mine in a brief, soft kiss and then pulled back again with a satisfied sigh as she added, "my best friend."

I was once again speechless, but managed to smile at her. The last thing I remember was snuggling into each other as we fell asleep.

****

Ugh. The one and only thing I wanted to know was how in the hell did Monday get here so fast?

I trudged my way through the almost empty parking lot, keeping my head down against the cold. The temperature had taken a serious nosedive last night and I was freezing. I scanned my key card to unlock the door and then wearily walked up the flight of stairs to the second floor. I knew there were only three days until the 24^th and even though I was really looking forward to a five day weekend, these two days at the office were going to totally suck. Aubrey had to use her last couple of days of vacation or else she would lose them come the first of January...so I was stuck at work without my best friend to keep me company and make the mind-numbing boredom more tolerable.

It didn't help matters too much that I was in a bad mood...and to be honest, as bored as I might get - I was conflicted. Just the thought of being apart from Aubrey made my stomach hurt, but then secretly I was sort of glad that I wouldn't see her for a couple of days. I knew I had a lot of thinking to do, but the inconsistency of my thoughts and feelings was maddening. I inwardly knew that my ill temperament centered around the fact that the mental closet in my head was full. I couldn't force any more of these confused feelings and mixed up emotions into it even if I tried.

I took a deep breath and sighed as I set my bag down at my work station. My cell phone vibrated. Aubrey was calling me. Not now, Meg, I told myself. I had been avoiding her calls and not answering her texts since leaving her apartment yesterday morning. It was more than obvious that we needed to talk and avoiding her was just rude...but I didn't know what to say. I needed to sort my sorry self out first. I sighed again.

I docked my laptop, hit the power button and while it went through the process of booting up, I got myself situated for the day. I plugged in my phone charger and then hooked my phone up to charge. After sitting down and getting comfy, I logged in and read my new emails and took the time to respond to a few of them. Alrighty then...there was five minutes of my day. I sighed yet again and settled back in my chair to surf the web for a while. Nope, wasn't working. My mind kept coming back around to Aubrey. My phone vibrated again. It was Aubrey so I let it go to voicemail. I felt like I was at war with myself.

Is she or is she not your best friend? Of course she is. Then why won't you talk to her? I just...need some time to think. Do you care about her? Obviously - thus the whole best friend thing. Do you love her? Again, of course I do. She's the closest friend I've ever had. Okay...but do you love-love her? What? Why would you ask that? I'm not a lesbian. That may be...but you didn't answer the question, did you? Enough...just shut up.

I stood up in frustration from all these questions bouncing around in my head and decided I needed a cup of coffee. I walked across our work area and out of the marketing department section of the second floor. I headed to the little kitchenette / coffee service area that was over near the restrooms. I looked up and saw that Ted from the National Sales team was carefully constructing a large mug of coffee. He was busy adding cream and sugar and some flavor add-in syrup that I never touched. He was wearing a ridiculous looking Santa hat on his head.

I patiently stood behind him and waited my turn.

He glanced over his shoulder, saw me and gave me a big smile. "Morning, Meghan."

"Good morning," I nodded politely.

"How are you today?"

"I'm good, Ted...and you?"

"I'm just as jolly as can be," he chuckled and licked a couple of his fingers clean from his coffee mess. He moved his big head around on his thick neck as if he were searching for something which made the little snowball on the end of his hat bounce around. "Hey, uh...where's your partner?"

I felt my stomach drop at his use of the word 'partner'. Isn't that what gay couples called each other when they were in a serious relationship or married or whatever?

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, uh, I was just asking about Aubrey," Ted clarified in kind of a sing-song voice. "You know, with you two where there's one there's usually the other."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped and folded my arms across my chest.

"Oh...well, I, uh, just meant that I usually see you two together," Ted immediately turned around with a confused look forming on his face.

"We're not always together," I shot back defensively and I could hear the shrillness creeping into my voice.

"Okay," he nodded slowly and picked up his mug. He started to walk around me in a wide berth and then cautiously asked, "Is, uh, everything okay, Meghan?"

"Yes," I sighed miserably and stepped forward and grabbed a cup. "Everything's fine."

"Oh...okay," Ted kept his distance. Just before he walked off he called out, "Well, uh, Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Ted," I mumbled almost to myself and dumped out the cup of coffee I had just poured into the sink. I didn't want coffee. I just wanted to go home.

I went back to my desk and sent my boss and the HR manager a quick email claiming that I wasn't feeling well and needed to go home. I didn't care if I got paid or not, I just wanted to go home and crawl under the covers.

****

I hardly even remembered driving home. My body was on autopilot as my mind seemed a jumble of sharp edged emotion and overwhelming turmoil. I parked and went inside. I felt restless. I paced and I ranted to myself as I wandered aimlessly around my apartment trying to think. I also kept avoiding Aubrey's texts and calls. My mind kept coming back to the same question over and over again. What do I want? I couldn't seem to come up with any kind of real answer. I was tired, but didn't sleep, couldn't sleep. I just continued to aimlessly walk around my apartment for a while and then out of frustration I'd sit down and flip through TV channels. I lost all track of time as I continued to marinade in this emotional quagmire.

At some point I looked at the clock and realized it was Tuesday. Really? Already? How did that happen?

It was only 5:30am, but I went ahead and called in sick to work again. I hope I would still have a job come New Year's. I also continued to ignore Aubrey's efforts to try and get hold of me. I was driving myself crazy and at some point later that morning I was so exhausted that I finally fell asleep on the couch. I ended up sleeping for most of the day, but it was a fitful slumber so I woke up still feeling fatigued. I couldn't seem to settle my thoughts. As a result of my exhaustion I finally just zoned out under a blanket and watched old Christmas movies. Even though I'd seen it at least a hundred times, I cried myself silly when I watched It's a Wonderful Life.

I was making myself miserable. I was miserable. Out of frustration I yelled at my empty apartment until I was hoarse and then beat up one of my throw pillows. I was tired of all of the confusion and indecision in my head. Why couldn't this just be simple? I finally just kind of flopped back into a corner of the couch. I ended up watching another old black and white movie. I could not tell you what it was called or what it was about. I honestly don't even remember calling, but somehow I ended up eating Chinese takeout.

I fell asleep on the couch again in that same position. I woke with a start and winced at the crick in my neck. I blinked my eyes around my dark apartment and squinted at the cable box. It was Wednesday morning...Christmas Eve day. I looked at the food containers on my coffee table along with the empty bottle of wine. I was a mess. My mouth tasted like the bottom of a trash can, my hair was a tangled bird's nest. I was still in the wrinkled work outfit from Monday. I smelled horrible and I had stains on my blouse. I needed some help. I got up and headed straight to the shower. After emerging clean and feeling somewhat better, I threw on my comfiest sweats and grabbed my car keys.

I had to talk to the only person I knew would understand.

****

I walked up the front steps of my parent's house and didn't bother knocking. I opened the front door and was met with the heavenly smells of something delicious baking. My mouth watered as I looked around at the empty living room.

"In here, Sug," Auntie Kate called out from the kitchen.

She always called me Sug which was short for "sugar". I was her one and only great-niece and she had always doted on me since the day I was born. I found out that my Mom and Dad were at some volunteer event to serve breakfast at one of the homeless shelters and then afterwards they were going to do some last minute Christmas shopping. Auntie Kate had stayed behind to make some of her world famous goodies for Christmas Eve. She had the whole house smelling of cinnamon and vanilla.

"Sit down," she instructed by pointing a spatula at one of the stool seats at the island.

I did as I was told and as soon as I sat down she put a bowl of what was once icing in front of me. It obviously needed to be cleaned up. I took my finger and ran it down the edge like I used to do when I was little and then sucked the remnants off my finger. My great aunt watched me continue licking the bowl for a moment. I nervously avoided making eye contact. I wasn't sure what to say. I saw her smile out of the corner of my eye and then turn back to whatever deliciousness she had been working on.

"So..." Auntie Kate said without turning around from the counter where she was spooning raspberry preserves into delicate little cups of half-baked pastry dough. "Tell me."

"I, uh..." I started to say and stopped. As soon as I my mouth opened my eyes went all blurry with hot tears. Auntie Kate always knew when something was bothering me and could get to the heart of things quicker than anyone I knew. I started to say something else and then just broke down and began sobbing in earnest.

My Aunt wiped her hands on her apron and took me in her comfortably familiar arms. She put my head on her soft bosom and rocked me gently back and forth and soothed her hand through my hair until I was all cried out. When I finally got control of myself, she fetched me a glass of water for my crying-induced hiccups and then wiped my face clean with a damp cloth. She rested her hand lovingly against my check and smiled warmly at me.

"Feel better?"

"Yes, ma'am," I hiccupped and then felt like I might start crying again. "No...not really."

"Tell me," Auntie Kate said again and then took my face in both of her hands and kissed my forehead. "From the beginning, Sug."

So I did. I mean, I left out some of the details of course (you know, the sex stuff), but I told her everything from my first day at work and meeting Aubrey all the way up to the conversation with Ted at the coffee service Monday morning. I didn't hold anything back. I not only told her the actual stuff, but also how I felt. I mean I just let everything from that mental closet come out...all of it. She simply listened as she put together more pastries, nodding her head as I talked. I knew she was listening closely to every word I said. When I ran out of words, she slid one of her freshly baked treats in front of me and lovingly stroked the top of my head.

"What should I do?"

"Well...I can't rightly say, Sug," Auntie Kate shrugged and just gave me a sympathetic smile. "You're the only one who knows that answer for sure...and you know that."

"Yes, but --"

Kate held up a finger, cutting me off. She walked over to me and gave me another warm hug. It made me feel immediately better. She finally released me and walked over to the kitchen table. She grabbed the humongous bag that served as her purse and opened it up. She gave me another smile as she dug a very old leather bound folder out of the oversized pocketbook. She brought the folder over to the island and carefully pulled a piece of very fancy, expensive looking stationery out of it. She laid the piece of paper gently on the countertop in front of me and then produced a matching envelope from the folder. Lastly, she dug around in the pocket of her apron and then handed me a very expensive looking fountain pen.

"Do you remember this?"

I nodded.

"Have y'all been keeping up with it?"

"Not really," I admitted with a shrug. "I guess it's been a few years."

"Well, now that you're grown, I think you should go on and rekindle it," Auntie Kate decided for me.

She was referring to an old family tradition that we used to do when I was a child. During the week of Christmas each person in the family would write down their deepest wish for the coming year. It was supposed to be that one thing that they didn't think they could live without. Auntie Kate had always insisted that you had to be honest and only write down "that which you most truly desired" was how she had always put it. Then we would put the written wish in an envelope, seal it and leave it in our stockings for Santa on Christmas Eve.

She called it our One True Christmas Wish.

I chewed my bottom lip as I stared into Auntie Kate's twinkling blue eyes. I looked back down at the piece of stationery and slowly picked up the fountain pen.

"Ah-ah-ah," Auntie Kate laid her hand on my arm with a chuckle. "You have to give it some thought, Sug. Remember - it has to be the one thing that you want more than anything else."

****

I went back to my apartment, but not before Auntie Kate had packed me up a little Christmas tin full of her freshly baked goodies. I kissed her on the cheek and promised her I would come back over later that evening. Funny, but I didn't even realize that I had kept one hand on top of that tin for the entire ride back to my place until I pulled into my parking space. I sat in my car for a few moments holding that tin of cookies and pastries and then looked at the stationary and envelope I had set beside it. I gathered up my things and went inside.