Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 05

Pinky twitched in her fingers and Katie pushed the toy deeper inside herself. She pinched her nipples and groaned. "Ahh!"

Is this the right thing? Katie wondered. Will my fans appreciate that I'm doing this? Will my children? Will Tom, even though this was his idea?

Never mind, she decided, squeezing her vibrator. The lives of two people may not amount to a hill of beans to most of this crazy world, but they do to me. If there's a chance I can learn how to fix the problems in my life I will take it. That's why I got on this plane. That's why I'm making this trip.

Katie crossed herself when her sensations peaked, an old habit from her Catholic schoolgirl days. Ripples of ecstasy coursed through her. She whispered a prayer as her body shook around Pinky. Katie asked the God in whom she still believed despite all Tom's discouragement to help her through the trial ahead. She wanted to get the most out of the counseling, whatever it took.

The prayer brought back memories of Katie's teen years, when she had shared forbidden touches with her friends in closets and dressing rooms. No boys attended their school, so the curious girls learned all they could about intimacy from one another whenever they had privacy. As a young model and actress, Katie had no shortage of such opportunities in her life.

Katie had always known some boy out there was her destiny but she was happy to find she liked girls as well. She began seriously dating boys after her high school graduation. Her first male lover was another regular on "Dawson's Creek". Their relationship had been good even though it hadn't lasted too long. Some time later, Katie found another man who seemed right. After several years of going steady, they ended up engaged. During this period, Katie continued to play around on the side with her girlfriends from the "Dawson's Creek" cast.

Then the show got cancelled, Katie recalled, and my friends and I grew apart. I became too focused on my career to stay in touch with them. Soon only my relationship with Chris remained. I thought he loved me and wanted to stay together but he kept putting off our wedding. Then we broke up and he wounded my heart. For a long time I drifted, sad and alone. Until the audition when I met Tom. I fell for him when first we saw each other, my childhood crush coming back in full force. Soon we were dating, then intimate and then married.

I've heard rumors that all we have was arranged, she reminded herself, that the audition was fake. I've never believed that gossip. It's too stupid. If it is true, I suppose I can forgive Tom. Whoever planned this relationship, it worked. Tom and I love each other for real. I forgive Jessica also if she was the one who set things up. I hated how she treated me, but my marriage is good. Maybe it's one of the few good things Jessica ever did. I suppose it doesn't matter. She's long departed from our lives.

Katie's legs shook as she thought this and she varied Pinky's speed to calm herself a little. Her love with Tom was true, she knew, yet something was still missing. Katie didn't know what. She had been sad in her heart ever since Chris broke up with her. Even with the man of her dreams and their child, she was still downhearted. Tom had noticed this and promised to cure her sadness even though she couldn't find its cause. Katie wanted Tom to stay with her and deliver this remedy, so she made every sacrifice he asked. She would let no insult destroy what they had together and consent to Tom's every demand.

I love him, Katie thought, and that is why I let him guide my life. Even with our love, though, we still aren't happy. I find myself changing my hairstyle and acting out constantly just to get his attention. I try to push myself away from him too, hoping to motivate him to get close to me. Nothing works — Tom stays stuck in his own world. I go to counselors to find out how better to be the woman he wants or at least solve my own troubles. No counseling so far has given me the answers I crave.

If this upcoming counseling doesn't work, Katie told herself, I will leave Tom. I know I've felt ready to do it before and backed out but this time I mean it. Never mind that I love him, that I'm scared of leaving him or that his presence always makes me feel good. I've had enough of his high-priced phony friends who don't know what they're talking about. I've had enough of being trashed in the tabloids for marrying him, of Internet trolls calling me his "Stepford Wife" and worse.

I'm financially set if I leave. I'll take our daughter Suri with me too. The prenuptial makes sure of it. I don't want to step away from the man I love but if I have to, I will. This is your last chance to prove to me our marriage can work, Tom. May God keep you and this counselor from wasting the opportunity. Nodding to confirm her decision, Katie gave in to the storm between her legs and shoved Pinky's vibrating head hard into her clit.

Thank you for this orgasm too, God, Katie added as the feelings inside her spiked. She released her vibrator and dropped it onto the floor. Breathing heavily, she massaged her sore breasts and thighs and licked her lips. Good one, Katie thought. Better than the last time I secured my "Mile High Club" membership. I think now I can for sure handle what's ahead.

The actress wiped her juices up with tissues and flushed them down the toilet. She also turned off and cleaned her vibrator before stuffing it back in her purse. She then stood and put her panties and jeans back into place. An announcement came over the airplane's loudspeaker. The pilots were starting their descent. Katie knew she should return to her seat.

A small line of people greeted her as she exited the restroom. Katie smoothed her hair, adjusted her purse strap, and gave the other passengers an apologetic shrug. She pushed past them with shaky knees. As she went down the aisle, she received knowing looks from two stewardesses and an athletic freckled woman in the row behind her whom she had earlier pegged as a sky marshal. Starring in multiple action flicks like "Batman Begins" and "First Daughter" had taught Katie how to spot a concealed gun. Katie returned their smiles and sat down.

"Bring on London," she said to herself, looking out the plane window as she buckled her safety belt. Katie was ready for her husband's last chance.

***

"So let me get this straight," Erika addressed the tanned and chubby blonde woman on the video conference monitor in Doug Ramsay's office. "You had regular lesbian affairs with Katie Holmes and Michelle Williams while you were on 'Dawson's Creek' together."

"Yep," Elizabeth "Busy" Phillips replied with a laugh. "Why are you so surprised? Did you think my first girl-girl experience had to be you?"

"Wasn't I?" Erika and Busy had acted together in the 2002 teen drama "Home Room". Erika had been good friends with Busy and her bisexuality was awakened by their onscreen lesbian kiss.

"No," Busy contradicted. "I had kissed girls a few times before you, practicing for boys and playing. Until Michelle, though, I was never comfortable with my attraction to girls. Katie caught me and Michelle kissing and one thing led to another." She smiled. "I'm sorry, Head Case."

Erika grinned at hearing her character's nickname from their film. "It's okay. I was going through a lot of crap back then."

"Oh, so you wouldn't have been any good for me? I don't think so. I should be the one apologizing to you. I turned you down, remember?"

Erika nodded. "Right, you did, but that's behind us now. Tell me more about you and Katie."

Busy shrugged. "Michelle tempted my lusts when I got on 'Dawson's' and I thought 'what the heck'. Kevin Williamson's intense atmosphere was making me nuts. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and I needed some relief. If I was misinterpreting the signs and Michelle rejected me, it would be easy to get thrown off the show like I kind of wanted. Then Michelle didn't reject me and neither did Katie when she walked in on us and I asked if she liked what she saw. I let them love me and it was fun. It turned out Katie and Michelle had already been together a few times. Michelle wasn't her first girl either. Katie acts shy but she's wild at heart."

"Hmm," Erika said. "I wonder how she went from that to Tom."

"Beats me. I lost touch with her after the show ended. Michelle and I still get together, I comfort her with the whole Heath Ledger situation, but we haven't talked to Katie in years." Busy shook her head. "So you're going to be Katie's marriage counselor, huh? Great. Tell her I said hi and that I think Tom's a son of a bitch."

"I will." Busy was one of several contacts Doug had given Erika to seek more information on Katie. Erika was also pleased to speak with her, as they had not seen each other since their film premiered. "By the way, you look good."

"I do? Thanks. I'm still working off the baby weight."

"You had a baby?"

Busy held up her diamond wedding ring. "I got married two years ago. Marc's a writer and a great guy. Our daughter, Birdie, is six months old."

"That's wonderful."

"It was good to talk to you again," Busy said. "You look great. You ought to come see me sometime. I think we have unfinished business." She gave Erika a wink.

Erika grinned back. "Definitely." I guess Busy's marriage is open, she thought. That's the case for most Hollywood couples and nearly all those among my friends.

"Give my love to Katie. Take care of yourself."

"You too," Erika replied. Busy clicked off. Okay, Erika thought. That was enlightening. There are two more people on the list: Chris Klein and Josh Jackson. I've never met either of them. They were Katie's boyfriends, so they should have a lot to say.

The buzz of Doug's security intercom interrupted Erika as she reached for the phone again. She turned in his desk chair and answered it. "Yes?"

"This is Clarke. Doug's on his way up with Katie."

Shoot, Erika thought. Either her flight was early or I've been on the phone too long. "Thanks, Clarke. Any trouble?"

"Some paparazzi spotted Katie at the airport. Frank and I lost them before we got her to her hotel. I also have a bunch of people in Guy Fawkes masks outside the club. A couple of my associates are watching them."

"Be careful," Erika said. "They could just be people who like to come here in costume."

"I know about those patrons, Erika. I work here, remember?" Clarke chuckled. "Katie seems like an okay girl. I think you'll like her."

"I hope you're right." Erika clicked off the intercom and straightened herself in the chair. Doug had prepared a meeting room for her and Katie but then two members of Parliament had demanded the same room to discuss a political arrangement. Every other private area in the club was already booked for a corporate meeting, sexual fling or other event. Doug had apologized and given Erika his office. Erika accepted with a smile, secure in the imposing room.

She stood up and moved around it now, adjusting the lights and closing the black satin curtains. I need the right atmosphere, Erika thought. She put some soft Enya music on the stereo. She then checked her looks in the mirror of the video-conference screen, nodding at her auburn ponytail and red satin dress. Erika considered the black suit jacket she also wore and then removed it. She also unbound her ponytail and let her hair fall about her shoulders. After nodding, Erika hung the jacket on the room's coat rack. As she did so, a knock sounded at the door. "Come in!"

Doug entered with a smile and held the door open for a tall woman in a black coat, violet blouse, and dark blue jeans. She had shoulder length black hair, a cherubic face and a runner's body. A black Gucci purse was on her left shoulder. Catholic and Scientology crosses hung from gold chains around her neck.

Katie Holmes's brown eyes flashed in surprise when she saw Erika. "I know you! You're ..." She frowned, snapping her fingers.

"Erika Christensen," Erika said. "We've met at a few parties and gatherings. I'm also an actress."

"Right!" Katie said with a smile. "You're the girl who sang 'At Last' at my Hollywood reception with Tom. I haven't seen you in a long time."

"Likewise," Erika replied. She had forgotten about that ceremony. Singing was another of Erika's sidelines. She was good at it but didn't do it that often. "It's great to see you again."

"I'll leave you two alone," Doug said. He shook hands with Katie. "It was nice meeting you."

"Nice meeting you too," Katie answered. She watched him exit and then turned back to Erika after the office door closed. "Friendly guy. Yours?"

"In a matter of speaking." Erika moved a visitor's chair close to the couch and waved Katie towards it. "Please sit down."

"You're my counselor?" Katie asked. Erika nodded. Frowning, Katie took her coat off and put it and her purse on the floor next to the couch. She then seated herself and looked at the framed degrees on the room's west wall. "This isn't your office."

"I don't have an office yet," Erika explained. "Counseling is a career I adopted when my acting hit a downturn. I got a psychology degree online from the University of Phoenix. I've been practicing for about three months now."

Katie raised an eyebrow. This woman is my counselor, she repeated to herself. Damn it! "Um, okay." She looked around the room again. "Aren't you going to take notes or hook me up to a lie detector?"

Erika shook her head. "I don't use lie detectors. My instincts work fine and are less intimidating to my clients. I also have a photographic memory."

"Oh," Katie said, relieved. Maybe this would be easier than she had thought it would be. "Wow."

Erika smiled at her and sat down in the visitor's chair, then continued. "I want you to know you can be as open with me as you want. What you say to me will be kept private. I am aware other people have told you that and not meant it, but I do mean it. I'll swear whatever oath you like."

"You won't tell Tom or the media?"

"No. I discussed seeing you with Doug and some other friends of ours, but I won't detail this session to them unless you want their input. You can mention it to Tom if you think he needs to know. I won't say anything."

Tom wasn't kidding, Katie thought. This woman is different! "Wow, thanks. Let me think about that. If you don't mind me asking, how much is Tom paying you?"

"Nothing. I don't take fees. I appreciate donations, but I never ask for them or set amounts. If you're wondering, I've done all right in this field so far. People can be remarkably generous when you help them. I give the money I don't need, which is most of what I earn, to reputable charities."

"Odd business plan."

Erika shrugged. "It worked for Paul Newman."

Katie laughed. "So you're not really getting anything out of this then?"

"Says who?" Erika gave her another smile. "I want to help you and I am, right?"

"Yeah," Katie said. You might be one of the few people who's actually bothered to try, she added to herself. Katie's acting career and time spent around other counselors had taught her how to detect dishonesty and she saw no sign of it in Erika. She's either really being honest, Katie mused, or she's a very good liar. I think I'll take my chances. "Tom didn't tell me my counselor would be you."

"I gathered that. How is he? Did he force you to come here?"

"He's fine. Coming here was my decision. Tom told me I didn't have to do it but he thought it would be wise. He had already gotten the ticket, so I thought 'what the heck'. Did he tell you about our marriage's issues?"

"The rumors told me first. I'm sure most of them are unfounded, right?"

Katie grimaced. "Um, well, do you know about those guys outside?"

She probably means the people in Guy Fawkes masks, Erika thought. "The 'V for Vendetta' wannabes?"

"Yeah, them. Those people have been at almost every one of Tom's and my public events in the past four years. I don't like it. Don't get me wrong, I know their agenda but ..." Katie paused. "Wait. Should I be telling you this?"

"It's okay," Erika said. She waved a hand to still Katie's concern. "Like I said, this discussion goes no further. I know their agenda and support parts of it too. Do you know Mike Rinder?"

"Yes," Katie said. So Erika's part of the shadow reformation that's taking place in Scientology, she thought. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I joined the movement with some hesitation when I became aware of it two years ago. Tom fired Jessica after I told him I couldn't take her public relations blunders anymore. Then Mike Rinder called me into his office and talked to me. He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to break up with Tom because of Jessica. I almost was until Mike told me about the reformation and calmed me down. I told Rinder I wanted to be part of the movement but I didn't wish to tell Tom about it. Rinder agreed. Jessica was at my wedding and I informed her of the arrangement. She showed no discernible reaction. I have not seen her since. Is sending me to meet Erika Tom's way of telling me he knows about the reformation now? Has he decided to become part of it also? I hope so. Of all the things I can't share with my husband, this is the biggest, bar none.

"Mike taught me some courses about the people like those protesters," Erika said, drawing back Katie's concentration. "There was also a United States Navy navigator and Anonymous hacker named Zeck Metz who taught me a lot before he was killed in Pakistan. I researched things further after he died."

Erika closed her eyes for an instant, remembering Zeck, and then continued. "Many of those people just want attention for themselves or want to hurt us. You should avoid them when you can. Some have actually suffered because of us, though, and some desire a realistic state of harmony with us. Those are people whom you want to confront and try to make peace with." Erika sighed. "I try to do that in spirit, even if I can't always do it in fact."

"Me too," Katie said, "but you do know how vicious some of those people are, right? And they've been increasing in number every year since I married Tom."

Erika nodded in understanding. "Some of them are just your fans. They don't understand that your life has moved on. You're not Joey Potter anymore."

"No, I'm not," Katie agreed, crossing her arms. "They also don't understand that I can have celebrity crushes same as they can. I think they're jealous that I got to realize mine."

Erika nodded again. It's time to get Katie off this thread, she thought. I don't want it clouding the real issue. She turned to the office coffee table and pointed at a crystal decanter and foil-wrapped package. "You want some tonic water? Or some pie?"

"Pie?" Katie asked. "You're offering me food?"

"You like chocolate, right?" Erika picked up the foil-wrapped package and opened it, showing Katie the caramel and chocolate dessert within.

"Yes!" Katie answered, enthused. She took the pie and a fork from Erika and began eating. "This is good." She swallowed another bite and then resumed speaking. "I guess I shouldn't be bothered by those protesters. I'm a celebrity. I need to adjust to people who take advantage of me for their own purposes, who spread rumors for fun and who have impossible expectations. These folks come with the career I've chosen. I know I should accept them and enjoy my life."

"But you can't."

"No." Katie took another bite of caramel and smiled. "What kind of pie is this? I've eaten chocolate pie before but it's never tasted so delicious."

"It's a special recipe. 'I Hate My Husband Pie'."

"From the Keri Russell movie 'Waitress'?"

"Exactly," Erika said, grinning. "I know the chef."

"Ironic name," said Katie. She savored another bite. "I like it, though."

Erika offered her a glass of tonic water and she accepted. The taste was bitter but calming to Katie's nerves. She swallowed a second sip and then took another bite of the pie.