Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 05

"Save some for me, okay?" Erika said. She sat down beside Katie and stuck her own fork in the pie. The two giggled as they ate, pleased with their new closeness. Katie could not remember the last time she had spoken to another woman with such candor. It was a welcome change from her normal married life.

Katie's a very different girl than I thought, Erika reflected. Maybe it's that we're alone now that is allowing me to actually get to know her. "So is it just the protesters that have been bothering you?" Erika inquired.

Katie shook her head. "No. They're one of many things. Tom insists on introducing me to people who think they can tell me how to live my life. They don't know me and they hardly try to get to know me. They see me as someone they can order around, and they're so full of themselves. Most of them are older than I am too. You're the first girl my age I've talked to like this in a long time."

"I'm actually younger than you," Erika said. "I do have a unique sympathy with your situation, though." She touched the Scientology cross around Katie's neck.

Katie looked at Erika's hand. "Can I make another confession to you?"

"Sure, whatever you want."

The other actress took a breath. She wasn't sure about her next words but decided to say them anyway. "I only converted because Tom asked me." She took the pendant from Erika and tapped it. "He and most of his friends are into this and I thought I should be also. I do agree with some of the beliefs, I've seen evidence they're right, but I still believe in my other cross as well." She pointed at the Catholic cross that also hung around her neck. "Tom says he understands and he doesn't have a problem with that. He doesn't want me advertising it, though. In addition, I'm the only one in the family he lets be this way."

Erika nodded, recalling some of the stories she'd heard. "Maybe Suri can make up her own mind when she gets old enough."

She read my thoughts, Katie gasped. Whoa. "Yeah, I hope so too. I hope the same for our other kids."

Erika decided to try opening her up further. "I hear Tom's a real control freak."

"That's exaggerated some but yeah, he is." Katie sighed. "You know the name of this pie?" After Erika's nod, she continued. "My life would be easy if I did hate my husband. I don't, though. I love him so much." She took another bite. "I love him!" Katie declared after she had swallowed it down.

Do not jump on the couch, Erika begged her in silence. I hated when Tom did that for you on the talk shows.

Katie gulped her water again and continued. "Thanks to Tom, I have the chance to live a fantasy. I'm taking that chance. I knew going in what I was in for or so I keep reminding myself. I have a good life, mostly. Tom is the man of my dreams, pretty much, and the kids are great. We're a family and I don't want to break it up."

Erika nodded in understanding. "You shouldn't unless you have to."

"I don't have to," Katie said. "No matter what people think, I can handle this. I can handle my life. I just wish ..."

Erika gave her an interested look as she trailed off. "What? You wish what?"

"I wish Tom would let me be free to live my own life. I used to have so much fun before I met him." She coughed. "Did he tell you about his little problem?"

Katie wiggled her fingers and Erika guessed she meant Tom's erectile dysfunction. "He didn't tell me but I read his file. Emphasis on 'little'?"

Katie shook her head. "No! His dick is fine when he can keep it hard. I know a few ways of helping him. He's great in bed most of the time. He really does care about me. But there are other sides to my sexuality he doesn't know about. I'm afraid to tell him."

"Do you mean your affairs with women like Busy Phillips and Michelle Williams?"

Katie stared at Erika in shock. "How do you know about that?"

"I read your file," Erika replied. She held up a hand to stop Katie's outburst. "Relax. I meant what I said about what we discuss going no further. In fact, when we're done I'm going to give you the names of some Scientology ministers who can help ensure neither your file nor Tom's is ever seen by unauthorized people again. Outside the church or inside."

"Um, thanks." Katie thought Erika was pretty and liked her open friendliness, but the other woman's bravery was really bothering her. "Wait a second, though. I haven't told anyone in the church Busy and Michelle's names. How did you know?"

"Busy's also my lover," Erika said in white lie. It will soon be true, she told herself, if our conversation earlier was any indication. "You may have seen us kissing onscreen in 'Home Room'?"

Katie raised her eyebrows in confusion. "Yeah, I did see that, but ... you both looked very different in that movie." She blushed. "So how many lovers do you have?"

"I don't keep count. I give myself to whomever I want who also wants me."

"Other people let you live like that?"

"Not always. It's my life, though, not theirs. The way I live is the way that makes me happy. I wasn't always like this and I won't deny I have my critics, but it's what works for me. It's easier when I don't spread it around that much. I'm also not the only one who lives like I do." Better distract her, Erika thought, seeing the startled look on Katie's face. "Busy told me everything about you, her, and Michelle. I don't see how you went from that to someone like Tom, though."

"Do you know about my breakup with Chris Klein?"

"Was that the reason?"

Katie nodded and summarized how Chris had left her after "Dawson's Creek" ended. Erika listened, saying little. She extended a hand and touched Katie's wrist during the story. Katie smiled at the comfort and let out a heavy sigh when she was done.

Erika considered her words and then nodded. "So you've been downhearted ever since Chris Klein dumped you. The only time you've really allowed yourself to be happy is when you're acting. The rest of the time, you can feel good but there's always a shadow hanging over you. You don't know what to do with yourself. You've been letting other people, mostly Tom, direct you. Am I right?"

"I guess so," Katie said.

"I thought as much," replied Erika. "I think I know your problem. You're not living your own life. You think you have to let Tom and his people tell you how to live it."

Katie stared at Erika. She pushed herself away from the other woman and put the pie and tonic water down on the office table. "I do. Tom and his people know what's best for me. I must do what they say if I want to keep Tom in my life. I don't want him to leave me. If one of us has to leave, I want to be the one."

"But you can't be," Erika said. Her hands were making rapid gestures. "You won't let yourself. Look, have people told you about the bridge to true freedom and happiness?"

She continued as Katie nodded. "Well, there's something about that concept few people will actually tell you. No person or philosophy can really give you that bridge. You yourself have to define, design, build, and walk it. Others may advise you, even give you tools, but in the end, you should not let them limit you. It is you yourself who knows best what suppresses your spirit and what will make it grow strong."

"You're saying I have to be assertive. I have to be my own woman. The real me."

"Exactly. If you want to take and keep control of your life, you have to be yourself. If you construct and live in a shell, you will never be happy. Anyone who loves you won't be happy either."

Katie nodded. Makes sense, she thought.

"You see, Katie," Erika went on, "love isn't about surrender." She pointed at Katie's pendants. "Both your crosses agree on that. Love's about people strengthening each other in a good way and accepting each other for who they are. If people who love you know what's good for them, they won't judge you for being yourself. If they do, they're probably not worth getting to know anyway. That's what I have found."

"Tom doesn't judge me!"

"Yes, he does, Katie. He controls you and that's a form of judgment." Erika exhaled her frustration. "If you want to be happy, you can't let him do that. You need to be the real you and show him that side of yourself. If you're really a liberated woman, you have to show the man you love that you are. Don't worry about Tom not liking you that way. According to his file, just about every one of his past wives and girlfriends is that kind of woman. I think he likes the type. He's just not willing to admit it."

Katie frowned, confused. I've met many of Tom's ex-girlfriends, she pondered, and both his ex-wives. Erika's right. They are all independent. I thought that was why Tom left them. Did they leave him instead?

"You have to get out of your shell," Erika repeated. "It's what's holding you back. You're hiding from your problems and letting your life stay ruined. Look, Katie, you can solve all your problems easily if you just take charge. The hell with Chris, he's out of your life and gone. Never mind him. Your career? You've had a pretty great one already, but it will never be great again if you don't take charge of yourself. The entertainment world does not want followers. Trust me."

She took a breath. "As for the critics and the media, don't worry about them. Let them do their thing. If you're not what they think you are, then that's your best revenge right there. They don't even need to know it. Ignore their phony rumors and death threats. It's no big deal. They already don't bother you nearly as much as you think they do. I check the web every now and then and their focus is on the fanatics, not you and me. It was different a few years ago, but it is better these days."

Katie nodded at Erika's words. "And those guys outside?"

"They may not even be protesters. A lot of people like to visit Doug's club in costume. Did you see any signs or leaflets?" Katie shook her head and Erika grinned, relieved. "You see? Don't be so paranoid. That's the worst effect of not living as your true self. You're looking over your shoulder all the time and you have to ignore your surroundings just to get where you're going. I used to hate that. I think it's probably worse for you, though. You have children."

"Yeah," Katie said, laughing along. She could sense no offense in Erika's words. "So if I just take charge of my life, all will be fine?"

"Not immediately, but yes. Your public image, your relationship with your family and friends, everything that matters should improve. Some things you may never get back but they're not important. We live in the present, Katie."

"This doesn't sound like a Scientology ideal."

Erika shrugged. "If you want, consider it a set of new unrevealed teachings. I get it more from experience than from any religion, though." She looked at Katie's crosses, then back at her eyes. "Don't let anybody tell you how to live your life, especially not religious leaders who too often think they're God. They aren't. I hate that people like them are in power in our church too, but they're on the way out. We just need to keep the faith and not let them control us."

Katie felt herself agreeing. Erika can show me the way to do that, she thought. I will listen. Then another problem occurred to her. "What about my husband, though? He's one of the bastards!"

"He doesn't have to be," Erika said. "You can change that by demonstrating that you won't put up with it." She again took Katie's hand. "If Tom sees you out of your shell and he really loves you, he will show you that he does. It's okay if you're afraid. I've felt afraid too. I still do, actually."

Wise words, Katie said to herself. She was staring at Erika again. I like this girl, she thought, locking her dark eyes on Erika's blue ones. I really like her. No one's ever been so forward in giving me advice, so daring, so right!

She gasped. Oh my God, I think I want her. She paused for an instant and then took a breath. If she was going to be as Erika had suggested, as she wanted to be, Katie knew she would have to once again act on her impulses. "Erika?"

"Yes?"

"Would you mind if I kissed you?"

"What?" Erika gaped. She held up a hand. "Katie, you're married."

"So?" Katie spat out. She took Erika's hand in hers, feeling old and new emotions taking over. "Don't worry about Tom. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. If I'm going to be the real me again, I have to bring that person back. I think you can help me."

I can, Erika thought, and I wouldn't mind doing it either. This girl is beautiful, warm, and kind. Tom told me to keep our counseling professional, though. It was my intention to fulfill the promise I made to him. But now, after I've met Katie and gotten to know her, I want her bad! Also, should I deny her? If I don't reward her for expressing herself, will she refuse to find meaning in everything I've told her?

Erika knew she couldn't take that chance. "Kiss me, Katie," she said, smiling and opening her arms.

Katie leaned towards Erika and kissed her mouth. The other woman's lips were sweet and full of passion. Katie felt lust suffuse her insides and become overpowering. She had not been with a woman since before her breakup with Chris. Now she realized how much she had been missing it. Glorious, she thought, kissing Erika again. This is wonderful.

The Enya music swelled from the stereo as Katie and Erika embraced. Let me sail, let me sail...

Erika kissed Katie back, feeling the other woman shiver as they embraced. They cuddled close to one another, tongues roaming in each other's mouths. Their arms wrapped around one another's shoulders. Katie pulled Erika's body into hers and rubbed her breasts against her new friend's. Erika felt the points of Katie's nipples, which were as hard as her own were. No bra, she observed, feeling the back of Katie's blouse. I'm not wearing one either.

She put her hand on Katie's chest and pulled back, staring into the other woman's eyes. "Are you sure you want this?" she asked. "I want to do more than kiss you. Much more."

"I want that too," Katie said with a nod. She leaned in and placed her lips against Erika's throat.

Erika put her fingers in Katie's hair, grabbed her head and moved their lips back to one another's. I'm still keeping my promise to Tom, she thought with a giggle. Katie and I will be having fun together, not sleeping. She paused and looked at Katie. "Why are you crying?"

"I am?" Katie blinked and wiped away her sobs. "Sorry. I'm just very happy all of a sudden."

"Good," Erika said. Her heart was beating hard in her chest. "Let's make you more so."

She put her hands on Katie's breasts and flicked the other woman's nipples through her blouse's fabric. Katie put her own fingers on Erika's tits and squeezed them. The music thrummed in counterpoint to her movements.

"One second," Erika said, pulling back. She looked at the office door and relaxed when she saw that it was shut tight. Erika stood up, walked over, and locked the deadbolt. She then kicked off her low heels, unsnapped the back of her dress, and pulled down the zipper. She pushed the dress's sleeves from her shoulders and turned back to Katie as it hit the floor and formed a crimson pool around her body. The other woman had been watching Erika and she smiled in approval now as she looked over Erika's nudity. Katie removed her shoes and beckoned Erika close.

Erika lowered herself back to the couch and moved in on Katie with a predator's crouch. They kissed and rubbed each other's breasts. Erika moved her hands to the bottom of Katie's blouse, gripped it and pulled it upwards. Katie shrugged free of the garment and then unbuttoned her jeans and let Erika yank them off her body. Naked except for their white underwear and tan stockings, the two actresses deepened their embrace.

The song swelled around them. Sail away, sail away, sail away...

Katie cried out and quivered as Erika touched her panties. "It's okay to be afraid," Erika told her. She stopped with her hand still on Katie's groin.

"I don't care that I'm afraid," Katie replied. She put her left palm on Erika's cleavage. "Fuck me."

Smiling, Erika moved in and kissed the other woman's forehead, then her cheek. Katie's left hand fondled Erika's breasts and her right hand stroked the small of Erika's back. Erika's hands pushed off Katie's panties and then her own. They rubbed their legs together, feeling each other's heat. Erika flicked Katie's pendants over her shoulder. Tangling their fingers in each other's hair, they kissed again.

"What do you want?" Erika asked Katie. She knew many techniques and was unsure which would be best here.

"Just touch me," Katie said. "Lick me too, please."

"You got it," Erika said. She pushed Katie into the couch's black leather cushions and started kissing her way down the other woman's body. Her fingers moved in counterpoint, rubbing Katie's brown nipples and tanned thighs. They also rubbed her shaven snatch, opening Katie's legs and increasing the lubrication between them. Erika sensed her own emotions rising but forced them down. Katie needed to come first. There would be plenty of time for Erika's pleasure later.

Katie caught her lead. She rubbed Erika's hair and shoulders as her new friend moved down, settling her body and letting Erika touch it. Erika pinched the sides of her labia and her clit. She then moved her hands out of Katie's pussy and onto her rear. Katie moaned as Erika massaged that area.

Hmm, Erika thought, an unexpected erogenous zone. All right then. She licked Katie's breasts, sucking hard on each nipple. Her hands continued rubbing Katie's butt all throughout, sparking further moans.

We can sail, we can sail..., Enya sang in accompaniment. Sail away, sail away, sail away... Sail away, sail away, sail away...

Erika stopped and let Katie subside for an instant, then kissed her stomach. Katie's fingers yanked at her hair. You really want this, Erika thought. Okay, I won't keep you waiting any longer.

She flicked her tongue in Katie's navel and then moved down and stabbed it into the other woman's cunt.

"Yes!" Katie cried out. Her thighs clenched hard around Erika's head. "Suck it!" Shaking back and forth on the couch, she let her emotions skyrocket.

I am not giving this up again, Katie promised herself. I now know my mistake. I achieved my dream but I forgot it was mine. I surrendered to it. I let it conquer me. I will do that no longer. From this moment on, I am taking back control over my life.

Screaming in freedom, she wiggled her body. Erika grimaced as she licked Katie's pussy. This girl might actually smother me if I was beneath her, she thought. I'll have to be careful she doesn't go too crazy on me. She looked up at Katie and smiled, then resumed her licking. Her hands caressed Katie's buttocks. It was Erika's intention to both build up the other woman's pleasure and hold her still.

The plan appeared to be working, as Katie began laughing in joy. Erika still felt her new friend's thighs tight around her head but they were no longer shaking that hard. Good, she thought, licking Katie's clit. The other woman's groin jumped at the attention. Erika considered backing off again and then shrugged. She had never been with anyone this vigorous, but she could handle it.

I hope you're ready, Katie, Erika thought with a chuckle. She squeezed Katie's butt cheeks again, then moved one hand off them and put it back on Katie's chest.

Caressing hard at Katie's breasts, ass, and pussy, Erika matched the intensity of the other woman's motions. Wherever Katie moved, her new friend's tongue and fingers were there to meet her. Her juices were in high volume now and Erika was swallowing them down. She imagined she was flicking away the vestiges of the false Katie, taking them into her body and destroying them. When she was finished, only Katie's true self would remain. Would Katie be happy with it? Would Tom and the public? Erika didn't know but wanted to find out.