The Rehab

I was lectured on the way. Lucia's mother wasn't extremely religious, but taking the Lord's name in vain was forbidden. Swearing in general was frowned upon. Lucia had worked as a dancer - not a stripper - although she assured me her mother knew exactly what the Pleasure Palace was. I was not to bring up Lucia's father - not even to Lucia it seemed. For some reason, I was to also stay away from any topics that might drift toward the annexation of Texas from Mexico in the eighteen hundreds. I guess Mama held strong opinions on the subject. Fully briefed, we pulled up in front of a small, one-story home nestled in what looked like a nice family neighborhood.

I hustled around the car to open Lucia's door. She was calmly waiting for me to do so and smiled when I did. I was beginning to wonder if there was anything I wouldn't do to earn that smile. I already knew things were getting out of control and I kicked myself for letting them.

Mama was waiting at the door. She was a little shorter than Lucia, but had the same thick black hair. Mama carried a bit more weight, but with dignity and grace. She was wearing a flowered dress covered by a white apron. God help me, her smile matched her daughter's. The two hugged like they hadn't seen each other in years. I almost felt like I was forgotten until Lucia finally introduced me.

"Mama, this is Todd Keystone." Lucia said my name proudly. It was uncomfortable to be presented in that way. I sensed some kind of permanence in Lucia's tone.

"Hello," I said, holding out my hand. Mama took my hand and pulled me in for a hug. I was surprised at the warmth of it. It was like we had known each other for years. I hugged back, what else do you do once you're embraced like that?

"Jur aunt Maria called; she on phone in bedroom," Mama said to Lucia with a strong accent, "go say hola, Todd help me in kitchen." Lucia reluctantly headed to the back of the house. Mama grabbed my hand and drew me into the kitchen. She turned to me with a very serious look on her face.

"Why ju give my Lucia money?" Mama asked. I could see she wasn't angry, yet. I looked back at the direction Lucia had gone, hoping she would come and save me. "Maria keep Lucia busy why we talk," Mama continued, knowing I was stalling.

"She seemed to need it," I answered without confidence, "I tried to do it anonymously. I was just giving her more choices." I shrugged my shoulders knowing it was a weak explanation. "She chased me down after. I really didn't mean to see her again." Mama was searching my face with her eyes. "When I sensed she was afraid to make a choice, I offered the painting job to her. The whole thing kind of snowballed. Honestly, it made me happy to help, although there were some uncomfortable moments." Mama looked into my eyes.

"I believe ju," Mama stated. She reached up with both hands and pulled my cheek to her lips and kissed me. "That for stopping Lucia dancing." She released me with a smile. I smiled back, sharing the nice moment. She turned to the stove where a few pots were steaming. She lifted the lid on a pot and began to stir the contents with a wooden spoon.

"How long it take ju to fix house?" Mama asked as she tasted the sauce and then added additional spice.

"I'm not sure, maybe four months with Lucia's help," I replied, wishing I knew where this was going.

"After it done, ju leave?" Mama asked. I cringed. This is the part I had been ignoring. The part I hoped would solve itself, although I knew it couldn't. I was thankful she was watching the pots and not my face.

"Yes," I answered, not wanting to elaborate. It wasn't like I had a choice in the matter.

"Ju leave my Lucia?" Mama didn't hesitate with the follow up. I could hear the concern in her voice. There was a tenseness about her stance.

"Yes," I said quietly. For some reason, lying didn't even occur to me. Mama's shoulders slumped and she turned back to me.

"Lucia not dress like this for nobody," Mama whispered, wagging the spoon at me, "she never bring nobody to see me." My heart felt thick. Everything had already spiraled out of control, and I just didn't see it coming. "Ju tell her soon. Okay?" The anguish was overpowering.

"I'll try," I whispered back. I think Mama saw my pain and her face went all confused.

"Why ju leave if you feel like that?" Mama asked. God, the woman could read my mind. I had no response to offer her. Nothing I wished to share. I also couldn't lie.

"I have to," I stated firmly, "it's not something I have any control over." Mama gave me a strange look and then her face firmed up. She thought about it a moment, then nodded her head.

"Ju tell her nice, no mean," Mama whispered, the spoon still ready, "in jur own time." At least I could promise her that. I was about to agree when she poked her head out of the kitchen and yelled down the hall, "Lucia, tell jur aunt call back. Ju have guest here." I guess agreement was a foregone conclusion.

The dinner was a very cordial affair. Lucia was all smiles and Mama seemed to love seeing Lucia happy. The food was excellent - a Mexican-influenced sausage medley with some really tasty brown rice. Mama seemed overjoyed when I had three helpings. I thought I was being a pig. It's just that you don't know when you will get food like that again.

I had to excuse myself, after dessert, to use the bathroom. When I returned, Lucia's face was glowing. They had obviously been talking about something, quite possibly me. I tried to get a hint from Mama's face, but it was unreadable. I let it go, since neither decided to include me in the discussion.

When we left, Mama hugged me away from Lucia. "Ju be nice," she whispered and kissed my cheek. I nodded, moved to the car and again made sure I opened the door for Lucia. I had dug a deep hole, I realized that now. Lucia's smile was making me dig it deeper.

"Mama likes you," Lucia said proudly, "she thinks you're honest and a good person. I already told her that, but now she believes me." I felt my stomach turn over. I grinned at the compliment and struggled for a new topic.

"Your mother sure can cook," I chimed in with a slight change in topic. "That sausage thing was something else; I don't think I've had anything like it before."

"What did Mama want to talk to you about?" Lucia asked curiously. I guess the phone call didn't fool her.

"She was just looking out for you." I squirmed away from the truth. Lucia smiled and accepted it on face value.

"So, did you like her?" Lucia asked.

"Absolutely, she's wonderful," I said honestly. Lucia beamed and I realized I just dug myself in a little deeper. I think I had just reached some important milestone for Lucia.

I pulled into my driveway apprehensively. Mama was right, I had tell Lucia. I wasn't sure when and she was way too happy to tell her tonight. Maybe in a day or two, when the euphoria wore down a bit.

I stepped out of the car and Lucia waited, smiling, for me to open the door. I, of course, did. She looked incredible and so alive. I wished things were different. Of course, if they were, I would be in bed waiting to wake up to another week of my old shitty job. She moved toward me when I closed the car door.

"I want to spend the night," Lucia said warmly. I wanted to say yes so badly it hurt. I thought about how deep I was in already and knew her staying was the worst idea ever.

"I only have a mattress on the floor, and it's not really that comfortable," I said, trying to discourage her. I prayed she would take the hint.

"I want to spend the night," Lucia repeated with that deadly smile. I took a deep breath and let it out. She ran her hand lightly along the side of my face.

"I'm not really ready for a relationship," I stated weakly. Lucia brightened her smile and kissed my lips. They were as soft as I remembered. Like an idiot, I kissed her back.

"Just tonight," Lucia whispered, "no commitment; just tonight." I caved as she kissed me again. I wrapped her in my arms and let her false logic steer my thoughts. Once I had let go, I was gone. The rest of the world disappeared and there was only this incredibly beautiful woman and me floating through time.

Lucia giggled and grabbed my hand. We practically ran to the dining room, or where the dining room will be when the work was done. Now it housed my mattress and two suitcases full of clothes. It was the only room with curtains. Lucia grabbed the few candles I hadn't used since the power came on. She placed them around the room and I followed behind, lighting them. We doused the 60-watt in the ceiling, and suddenly the room had atmosphere.

Lucia, unceremoniously, began undressing. I followed suit, kicking off my shoes and lifting the shirt over my head. She laughingly threw her bra at me. I fell over trying to catch it while pulling my leg out of my pants at the same time. She tackled me while I was down, her breasts smashing into my chest. I stopped undressing as our lips merged and passion took over.

I rolled Lucia on her back and smothered her neck with kisses as I inched my way down to her breasts. I moved quickly, since she seemed to be in a hurry. My lips found the top of her left breast and I tickled my way down her flesh with my tongue. Her nipples were taut and her happy moans encouraged me. I circled the left nipple with my tongue, then encircled it with my lips. I got a giggle from Lucia so I sucked it in a bit more and attacked it with my tongue. She laughed and tried to push my head away. Someone was ticklish.

I lifted my head with a proud smile. Lucia, laughing, was pushing her skirt down her legs. I lifted to my knees, my pants still half on, and helped her. I separated her skirt from her legs and tossed it aside. She had her panties half way off and I helped with them also. She lay naked before me, smiling in the candlelight.

"Absolutely gorgeous," I complimented as I drank in Lucia. I ran my hands slowly up her thighs and bent down to kiss her belly. She spread her legs around me and gently pushed my head lower. Her hands weren't hesitant, her need evident. I lay down between her legs and let her guide my head to their apex. My nose was met with a wonderful musky scent as my lips brushed against her moistness. I kissed her there, at the top of her nether lips, where her bud protruded beyond its hood.

"Yes," Lucia moaned. Her hands left my head and she spread her legs farther apart. Her movements slowed for the first time since we had left the car. I dropped lower and ran my tongue along her opening, barely parting her lips. I felt her shudder and heard a deep intake of breath. I repeated, exploring deeper, tasting her oily sweetness. She was wetter than I had expected, her desire had driven her haste. I brought my tongue to her clit and lightly teased it. I was rewarded with more moans and an arching back.

I brought my hand between Lucia's legs and gently coaxed a finger, then two, inside. I used slow motions, guided by the moans and shudders they caused. There was no resistance to the invasion so I went deeper, caressing the inside of her channel. I returned my attention to her bud, licking teasingly as I slowly moved my fingers in and out. I continued until I felt her open more and her pelvis push back. Her breathing was becoming erratic and I knew more pressure was desired.

My tongue dragged hard and quickly across Lucia's fully-exposed button as my fingers massaged the inside of her opening. Her legs lifted her pelvis and her hands returned to my head. I continued the attention on her clit and my fingers tried to meet it from inside. Lucia's thighs tightened and she emitted a deep, low moan as she pushed my head harder against her pussy. I felt a shiver run through her and then her pelvis lifted even higher as her whole body shook. Tremors racked her body in time with my tongue and Lucia yelled out. I continued my assault until she gently guided my head away and her hips relaxed with a loud gasp.

"Wonderful," Lucia sighed. I looked up to see her smiling in the candlelight, all her intensity sated away. She guided me along her body and kissed me deeply, ignoring where my face had just been. I was rolled to my side and Lucia sat up to finish removing my pants and boxers. She lay down, softly massaging my erection.

"I like you more than you want," Lucia said without warning, her smile trying to make light of the statement. Her hand was caressing, but not urging. I was responding with small tremors anyway. I wanted to respond, to tell her how much more I wanted, but I couldn't and I couldn't lie. I said nothing, which in and of itself, was a lie. She must have seen the trauma in my face. Her smile disappeared and she kissed me deeply as she rolled me on my back. "It's okay," she said softly as she mounted me. My stress melted away as I disappeared inside her. Her warmth filled me and my eyes watered as I realized I might love her. She leaned down, moving her hips slowly, "It's okay," she whispered again. I pulled her close so she couldn't see my tears and I trembled beneath her. I climaxed in a slow mixture of pain and passion. Lucia held me as I hated myself for loving her.

I awoke late the next day. Much later than late. The sun was already high in the sky and I heard a drill in the basement. I quickly threw on a pair of jeans and t-shirt, noticing Lucia was already gone. I followed the noise down the rickety stairs and into the basement. Lucia was handing a copper pipe to tall, thin guy wearing overalls. She smiled seeing me coming down.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Lucia called as the plumber relieved her of the pipe. I smiled back, halfheartedly. "Tom wants to trench a new line from the main," she said, pointing at the plumber.

"It looks like someone ran a thin plastic line in a few years back," Tom said while pushing the copper through the hole he just drilled, "it's no longer code and will only cause you problems in the future. I can trench and lay a new one tomorrow. I don't think we could get the new meter without doing that."

"Do it," I said, nodding to Lucia. She looked like she was having fun. I was happy to see she had fully encased her breasts today. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw it was 10:30. 'Shit!'

"I tried to wake you, but you were pretty beat," Lucia said with a wink the plumber didn't see. I smiled, pretending to see the humor. Sleepiness wasn't supposed to happen until later. I let it slide. Maybe it would be like the headaches and be infrequent.

We spent the day assisting Tom. We were both invested in seeing a hot water heater got turned on as soon as possible. It turned out Tom was an excellent choice, his brother was the water inspector for the county. That meant there would be minimal delays between installation and inspection. We opened some walls to run piping to the second floor and replaced the old pipes to the first floor. It was dark when we stopped and Tom left, saying he would be back early in the morning with a backhoe.

Lucia spent that night and the next with me again. I hid the truth and shared my passion. My hole was so deep, there was no ladder long enough to allow me to climb out. I made her no promises, but she inferred a lot and I had stopped dissuading. It was Friday when the pain in my head returned with a vengeance. I left that afternoon, lying to Lucia about having to go to the bank. I, instead, went to the hospital. There was a hospice care unit with a counselor who was recommended to me. I was lost and I had to speak to someone. For the first time in my life, I needed to confide and seek advice. Someone who understood at least part of what was happening.

"So, she doesn't know?" Doctor Collins clarified. He had hair that was a little too dark and a little too full for his age. I suspected he might be a little vain.

"No and I am afraid my symptoms are getting worse," I said, trying to give him the whole picture. He looked down at the copy of my file the previous doctor sent.

"Think about what would happen if you don't wake up one day," Doctor Collins said, "she finds you, not knowing why. Think how she will feel when she finds out." He paused a moment to let that sink in. "You were dealt a shitty hand, Todd. Luckily, you have time to choose how you want to finish, but you aren't letting her choose at all."

"I know...I know," I stammered, "I need to know how to tell her. It hurts just thinking about it."

"I wish there was an easy way," the doctor said, "we can do it for you if you ask, although that rarely works out well. There will be tears and anger, that I can promise you. You will have to be blunt or she will think you are joking - no one sees this coming." I closed my eyes, knowing I couldn't let this go on much longer. I came here to build my nerve. Experts had a way of solidifying what needed to be done. I came away with no new knowledge, only becoming more resolute about what had to be done. I had already fucked up trying to keep Lucia at arm's length; now I had to pay the price. It was going to be very expensive.

Doctor Collins was showing me out the door, trying to remain supportive. It was his job and he was good at it. "Camilla, I'm finished for the day," the doctor said pleasantly to the cleaning lady who was waiting outside the offices. I recognized the responding voice immediately, and I nearly vomited as she turned. I would have rather died five minutes ago.

"Todd...what?" Mama's eyes were flashing between Doctor Collins and me. I couldn't speak, I had no words. Doctor Collins quickly assessed part of what was happening.

"Camilla, there are privacy concerns here," the doctor stated clearly. I assumed I had just put her job at risk. Now I was fucking up a whole family.

"This what ju no can control?" Mama yelled, ignoring the doctor and pointing at the 'Hospice' sign on his door. I saw her eyes straining, a mix of anger and fear.

"Camilla, we don't..." I cut off the doctor. I was in so deep I might as well pull the dirt on top of me.

"Lucia's mother," I informed the doctor quietly. His eyes went wide and I saw a mixture of concern and compassion as he shifted his look between Mama and me.

"Use my office," the doctor judiciously offered. He held the door open and I entered, praying Mama wouldn't follow. God didn't listen and I heard the door close. Painfully, I turned to face Mama. There were tears streaming down her cheeks.

"She love ju," Mama choked out, "she know you maybe not stay, but she not know why." Mama held back a sob. "She think she change jur mind. This tear her heart away." Mama fell apart in front of me. I did the only thing I could do; I held her and tried to remain strong. It was hopeless.

"I'm sorry," I quietly apologized, "I wasn't strong enough to stop it. I kept putting it off and it only got worse. I wish I never walked into that club." Mama broke out of my arms.

"No," Mama stated firmly, "she not dance no more." It was firm in Mama's mind, something that would never change. "She not owe that lady money. Ju did that. Never ju take back." Mama wiped her eyes. "She better off even if God call you." She was nodding her head as she wrapped her mind around the problem. She raised up on her toes and kissed my cheek. "Ju tell her...today or I am." It wasn't a threat, it was a mother protecting her child. I responded the only way I could.

"Yes, Mama," I answered. My stomach was already doing flip flops in response to the task.

"Go," Mama instructed, "I have office to clean and I think better when I clean." It was an awful ride home. Incredibly too short.

One time, at fourteen, my parents had left me home alone for the weekend. Like a typical young man, I tried to impress a girl by taking her for a ride in my mother's car. Inevitably, I smashed in the front quarter panel while attempting to park. No license and no way to explain how I knew where they hid the keys. Until this day, I had thought waiting for them to get home was the worst moment in my life. I knew now, that episode was a cake walk.