There Must Be a Mistake Ch. 02

"Delicious, he is going to have a coronary when he sees you at his house. Watch out for any flying projectiles."

"Rosalynn has promised to have him under control. It's either going to be a vasectomy or a castration. One will happen under the care of the doctor, the other will happen on the kitchen table. I think Rod will take choice number one rather than choice number two."

"I'm glad you know the codes, at least I will not have to wake up at that ungodly hour of the morning to let you out, and I can sleep to my normal 2 PM."

"I wouldn't count on it uncle. I left something special for you in the lab. If you don't tend to it by 11:30 something awful is going to your computer."

"I believe Rod may be right Niece Delicious. The use of a gun may be too merciful to use on you."

"Uncle Even, I have made your life so much more interesting in the past few days, you wouldn't know what to do without me. I'm going to bed. I have an early wake-up call. If you hear a scream tomorrow morning, it will mean Rod has seen me in his house."

This time I kissed her on the head, and said, "Good night baby."

When I walked back into the room Grape said, "Even, I never thought I would see the day you were pussy whipped."

"Be nice Stan, that's my niece, and I will protect her with everything I have."

"That is exactly what I mean. You are acting like a family man for the first time since I've known you. You never cared about anyone else. Everyone on this planet could have vanished and it would not have mattered to you. This young woman enters your life a few days ago, and you are different person. I would never have believed it, if I hadn't seen it myself."

Orange said, "Even, it might be a good idea for you to get a guard dog, and wire your windows for sound. We were able to pick up your conversation, with Delicious, from the roadway."

"I'm going to need a recommendation for the windows, because those guys are going to be crawling around my laboratory. I don't want just anyone going down there. As far as the dog is concerned, I'll look into it."

"We will call you with a name, or set you up with one of our people to get it done."

"Thank you for coming on such short notice, but I thought it would be worth your time."

"Even, as always, you are master of the understatement."

7. Rod Wakes Up and Realizes...

His eyes opened, and he looked at his desk clock. It blinked 'Mon 6:00.' He returned his head to his pillow. He was about to return to sleep when what his eyes saw reached his brain. He screamed, "OH SHIT, IT'S MONDAY!"

He had a chip on his shoulder when he was dropped off by the tow truck; nearly 4 hours after Even left him with his broken car. He was ready to kill him, but he was not around. The hard edge of his voice was leveled at Rosalynn, who was none too happy with him to begin with. She banned him from their bedroom for a 2nd night in a row. She asked him to keep this behavior going, because she had not had such a peaceful night's sleep since the day before they were married. The only time they were not intimate was when she had her period, and sometimes that did not stop them. He was a very sexual animal. Sometimes she was worse than he was. He started thinking back to when they first met:

She had finished eight years of an all-girls Catholic elementary school. Four years of an all-girls Catholic high school, and four years of an all-girls Catholic University. She was sure there were men in the world, because she saw them every day of the week, and on weekends, saying mass, before she went to school. Her parents demand it of her. They wanted her to become a nun, but she wanted no part of it. She could not say anything as long as they were paying for education. However, she graduated Summa Cum Laude with a 3.98 GPA. She was recruited by every top-tier institution of higher learning in the country, to teach English and Debate. She chose Brandeis University, which is nine miles West of Boston. It just happened to be 8 miles from Harvard University and Law School.

Rosalynn was invited to give a lecture on the use of the English language during closing arguments to third year students at the law school. One mistake these highly skilled, highly trained future lawyers always made in their first few years of practice was talking down to the jury. That was how they lost trials or money for their clients.

She was seated on the stage, being introduced by the Dean of the Law School, and being drooled over by every male, and many females in the audience. One of the males was Rod Laver, and his seat gave him a perfect view of her thighs as she sat there with her legs crossed. He was hard as nails.

He never heard the Dean introduce her, because his focus was on her legs. He was hoping to see her panties when she stood up. They were blue and he nearly came in his pants. He wanted to speak to this young beauty after her lecture was completed. He focused on every word she said to impress her that he paid attention to her entire presentation. Ninety minutes later, the entire graduating class of the law school stood up and applauded Rosalynn Callipo as she returned to her seat. The last man to sit down was Rod Laver. He was looking straight into her eyes, with lust in his heart.

She saw him looking at her, and looked into his eyes. She blushed. She closed her legs tightly as she sat down, because she knew her skirt was a little shorter than she normally wore, and she didn't want anyone looking at her private parts.

Rod saw what she did and smiled. He continued standing and staring at her until he had her complete attention. When she returned to stare at him, he mouthed the word, "BLUE."

Rosalynn went from pale white to rose red in the blink of an eye. She asked herself 'How could a man be so bold as to tell someone the color of her intimate apparel. It was disgraceful.'

As she continued to think about what he had done to her. She wondered if it was truly disgraceful, why she was wet down there. She never was 'wet' down there. She never touched herself there, because the nuns said it was not the right thing for a woman to do. Only your husband was allowed to touch that area of your body; and only when you are trying to create a child.

No form of birth control is allowed by the Roman Catholic Church.

(Sometimes Stupidity Reigns Supreme.) Now on with the story.)

*************

Rod took up a position where he could see both exits from the auditorium. After thirty minutes he was sure he missed her, and decided that he would try to see her at Brandeis University. As he began walking towards the parking lot, he saw her exiting the building. Not only was she stunning, but she was very tall, possibly taller than he was. He walked along the brick path that would intersect the path she was walking on. If he timed it perfectly, she would bump into him, while she was talking on her phone. She would have to apologize, not him. She did and said, "Ow."

"I am so sorry; I was not looking where I was going. I was so engrossed in my phone call I forgot to take my blinders off."

Rod said, "If you don't let me take you to dinner tonight, I am going to sue you."

"Sue me for what?"

"I am going to sue you for the terrible pain I am experiencing in my left arm, the nerve damage in my elbow, my inability to play tennis, and possible hip damage."

"You are going to sue me for all of that because I bumped into you while I was walking?"

"Yes ma'am, you were walking very fast, and not looking where you were going. You were talking on your telephone, and not obeying normal safety rules. You are a menace to society."

"Oh, I remember you now. You were in the third row, looking up my dress. You are the pervert who said the color of my panties."

"Are you coming to dinner with me, or am I going to file a lawsuit against you."

"Shouldn't I know your name before I go out to dinner with you?"

"So you are going to go out to dinner with me."

"If I do not know your name, I'm not going anywhere with you. You better hurry with this decision; I have to be in church in thirty minutes."

"My name is Rod Laver, and why do you have to be in church on a Friday?"

"I go to church every day."

"Why?"

"It is the way I was brought up."

"I am going to make a wild guess. It has nothing to do with dinner tonight, or dinner tomorrow night, or our walk by the harbor on Sunday. You're a virgin aren't you?"

She slapped him across the face, and said, "How dare you ask me that question."

"I said it was a wild guess. However, I will bet you everything I have I am correct. Your parents probably had a stranglehold on your educational upbringing, since the day you were born. You had no choice in schools, which were probably religious straight through college. The first time you made a decision for yourself was after you graduated. You told them you were taking a job instead of going where they wanted you to go; which was a convent. How am I doing so far?"

"Did you look me up online during the seminar?"

"No, I did not. You can test me if you'd like, because I listened to every word you said. I just understand the type of parents you're talking about. I come from a neighborhood where parents tried to do that to their children. They push the boys to become priests, and their daughters to become nuns. I was very happy to be a Methodist."

"I have to get to church. Where shall I meet you?"

"If you think I'm letting you out of my sight, you're wrong. All you Catholics have to do is go to confession and your sins are forgiven. You tell that person in the box that you brushed this guy off and everything's fine. It's even better because he wasn't Catholic. Come with me, I'll drive."

"You know where a Catholic church is?"

"Rosalynn, this is Boston. If you can't find a Catholic Church here, you are blind."

********

After dinner Rosalynn asked him why he took her to a French restaurant.

"Haven't you had enough Italian food to last you half a lifetime?"

"I like Italian food. I didn't know Beef Wellington had liver in it."

"It's not just any liver, it is goose liver; the finest in the world."

"It could be plated in gold; I don't like liver."

"I am going to help you expand your horizons."

"Who said I am going to know you any better than I do now."

"You have two more dates with me. You will agree to marry me by Sunday. I am a lawyer. I can be very persuasive."

"First, you are not a lawyer yet. You may be last in your class, and never amount to anything. Second, you are not Catholic, and my parents will never approve of me marrying a non-Catholic. Third, I know nothing about you. You could be a serial dater for all I know. You could go around every week having girls bump into you, and threaten to sue them if they don't go out with you. Fourth, you are pervert. You looked up my dress and embarrassed me in front of your entire class. Shall I continue?"

"No, now it's my turn. You are going to marry me because: One, I am exceedingly handsome. Between your beauty and my attributes we will have gorgeous children. Two, I am going to be a very wealthy lawyer. You cannot take or use any method of birth control. You will need someone like me to support you, because we are going to have tons of children. Three, I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. Your green eyes and reddish hair are stunning. Even though you are not as smart as I am, you will be able to keep up with me, when we are able to sit down and talk above the children's voices."

"You listen to me Rodney. I am smarter than you are. I graduated with a 3.98 GPA. And if it wasn't for one hard nose, bitch of a nun, it would have been 4.0. That paper was perfect. She couldn't fault one period, comma, colon, or semi-colon. The content was above superior, and she had the nerve to say I missed some salient points. I told her to prove it, and she said she didn't have to, I had to disprove it. I threatened to take it to the Dean of Students, and she said, "Do it." I did, but the Dean said she could not overturn the decision even though she found no fault in the paper. It cost me valedictorian and a car for being top student in the class. That nun sat there and smiled at me during graduation."

"So marry me and get even with her. What better way than to live a great life, with tons of money, a loving husband, and children that adore you."

"I don't even know you, how can I possibly love you."

"Give me two weeks, you will love me."

"You know you're not going to get anywhere with me."

"I knew that when I saw you on stage. Your knees were locked together with chains. What better way for a man to be sure that his wife had never been with another man, had no diseases, and he could teach her everything about the art of love."

"You don't think too highly of yourself, do you?"

"I am one of the guys you hate. I did graduate with a 4.0 average. I am number three in my class, and if everything goes as I believe it will, I will have only one client for the remainder of my life. Oh, I hope you like living at high altitudes."

"Should I bother asking why?"

"My friend graduated MIT last year. He's living in a city called, "Idaho Springs Colorado. It's a mile higher than Denver."

"Does the sun ever go down up there?"

"I never asked him that question. I will the next time I speak to him."

"How about summer; if it doesn't have a summer, I'm not going."

"According to the Roman Catholic marriage guide, the women will follow the men wherever they go. You have no choice in the matter."

"Sir, I am not married to you, I am not in love with you, and I can drop you like a hot rock. So do not your chickens before they hatch. If you ever get me anything with liver again, you are going to be wearing it."

"I didn't order it for you, you ordered it for yourself."

"I thought it was a filet mignon in a puff pastry."

"That's exactly what it was.

"Thank you for a dinner, I'm leaving."

"Where do you think you going madam?"

"I am going home sir."

"And how are you getting there?"

"By car, the same way I got here."

"And where is your car?"

"It is at the University. I will have a taxi take me there, if I have to. I do have my own money on me. I am not your captive."

"Remember, after we are married, you will love, honor, and obey me."

"Have you ever heard the term, "in a pig's eye?"

"You are Roman Catholic. You will follow the rules."

"I was a very good Roman Catholic. I did follow every rule and will follow as many of them as I can. That nun taught me one thing when she screwed me; there are ways around the rules, and I am going to go around as many as possible as long as I can keep my conscience clear. The word obey may become a little fuzzy as time goes by."

"Why are you going to disobey that particular rule?"

"I believe that one will come in very handy. You seem to think that everything you do is perfect. In order to counteract that personality defect I believe not obeying your every word, whim, directive, demand, mandate, instruction, command, edict, order, decree, dictate..."

"Stop, please stop. I understand you have a complete grasp of the English language. I accede to the fact you will not obey me every time. However, I demand something from you. How about we come to a compromise on this situation; let's try, 'Will you love me forever?"

"Rod has anyone ever told you that you are a pain in the ass."

"Rosalynn everyone has told me that I am a pain in the ass since the age of five. The only person that has been more of a pain in the ass than I am is Even."

"You mean Evan."

"Trust me, it's Even. His parents are crazy. His sister's name is Divine. Her daughter's name is Delicious. Their fathers name is Uranus. And the mother's name is Demiter. Even is a scientist of the top order. He wasn't out of MIT and he already had two patents to his name. I am going to be his personal lawyer. Ninety percent of the time I'm going to have nothing to do but study and be with my family. The other ten percent will be taking care of Even. He will need a lot of care. You will never meet a better scientific mind then his. However, he has certain character traits that you may find unusual. He does not do well around women. He prefers not being in the company of women. He is not gay, but when he is forced to interact with a woman he begins to stutter and stammer to the point that he loses the power of speech. Then he runs for cover, and hides. He won't come out until they leave."

She got out of his car and stood by her own. Rod asked her where he should pick her up tomorrow.

Rosalynn said, "Are you going to become a stalker?"

"Probably."

"At least you're honest about it."

"If you give me the chance, I will never lie to you."

"You are full of garbage. Every man lies at some point."

"Rosalynn, if you marry me, as God is my witness, I will never lie to you."

"How often do you go to church?"

"As often as I have to."

"When was the last time you had to go to church?"

"I went to church Easter Sunday, with my family."

"When is the next time you will have to go to church?"

"I'm going to church Sunday morning with you."

"You are desperate aren't you?"

"I only have two weeks to get you to say yes. I would say I'm desperate."

"You also have to get my parents to say yes."

"Your parents can go fuck themselves. If they want to come to our wedding, they are invited. If they don't want to come that's fine too. I want to marry their daughter, I don't give two shits about them, and at this point, I don't think you do either. I think you realize they strangled you all your life, and if they had a choice, you would be in a convent."

Rosalynn leaned back against her car as if she had received a body blow. She knew what Rod said was true, even though she did not like the way he said it. As she was lost in her thoughts he moved in and kissed her. It was not a chaste kiss, but it was not a lustful kiss either. He did not put his arms around her, because he did not want her to feel trapped. He just wanted her to know how he felt about her.

When his lips met hers her eyes popped open wide. Her arms came up defensively to push him away, but his body never touched hers. It was only lip contact, but he never pulled back. She had no idea what to do with her arms now. They stood like goal posts at her shoulders ready to do battle, but the battle never came. They started to move in a dance like pattern, slowly up, then down, and side-to-side. The electric feeling that coursed through her body was like nothing she ever felt before, and she did not want it to end. He started to pull back from her to end the kiss, but her head followed his. It was her body that stood straight. It was her body that initiated contact with his. It was her arms that reached around his neck to keep his lips attached to hers. It was her arms that went around his neck and pulled their bodies together. It was her mouth that increased the intensity of the kiss.

She let go of his mouth for one second and said, "Hold me dammit."

Rod did not have to be asked twice. He crushed her to his body, until she could barely breathe. Still he did not touch anything she would consider indecent, but oh how he wanted to. Her ass was inches from his hands, but he didn't go there. He slid them up the side of her ribs, but never touched her breasts. That time would come later. Every time he came close he felt her freeze, and every time he left the area he felt her relax. All during this time, they kissed. Finally, they came up for air.

Rod looked into her eyes and said, "Hello."

She put her head back on his chest and replied, "Hello yourself; is it always like that?"

He replied, "Not to brag, but with me it is."