There Must Be a Mistake Ch. 02

"Your mommy and daddy will become very soon. Do you remember what to do?"

A resounding yes was the answer.

She plated the potatoes, and sliced the roast, with an electric carving knife, covered it with aluminum foil, and placed it on the center of the table. She corralled Adam, changed his diaper, cleaned him up thoroughly, and got him ready for dinner.

As if it was preordained, when she had finished her preparations, the key was put in the front door, and Roz and Rod walked in.

Immediately Rod said, "Dammit, the kids didn't kill her."

Delicious replied, "I see you didn't fuck him to death Roz."

"Believe me, Delicious; it was not for lack of trying."

Delicious whispered what to say in Roz's ear, and she did.

Suddenly, five pair of feet charged up the stairwell to the bathroom.

The parents looked at their children as they flew by, but thought nothing about it.

Rod went to change his clothes for dinner, and Roz grabbed Delicious and pulled her into the kitchen.

"What did you do to my children?"

"It is a surprise. You will love it. However, I'm not so sure about your husband."

"Oh no, not again; what are you doing to that man this time?"

"I am not going to say a word to him. I am not going to touch him either."

"I don't think I like you, I may love you, but I think I'm beginning not to like you."

"You will after you see what is about to happen."

Five children charged down into the kitchen. Roz braced herself for the onslaught to her body. It did not happen. They lined up in order of age and stuck out their hands.

"What am I supposed to do Delicious?"

"Colonel Jeffrey, what is your mother supposed to do?"

"Mom, you are supposed to check our hands to make sure they're clean for dinner."

"I'm supposed to do what?"

"Major Steven, would you explain to your mother what she is supposed to do?"

"Mom, we have all washed our hands for dinner. We want you to make sure we did a good job."

"Who made you a Major?

"General Delicious made me a Major mom."

"We will discuss this later General."

"As you wish Madam President."

"Children, I have never seen hands so clean in my entire life."

Her five children immediately surrounded her and hugged any portion of her body they could grab. She did exactly what Delicious did. She kissed their heads, ruffled their hair, and said she loved every one of them.

Then their father entered the kitchen. "I love the smell of that roast."

Five sets of eyes and feet turned towards their father. Five mouths opened and screamed, "CHARGE!"

Rod stood there helpless, not knowing what was happening. Jeffrey and Steven hit him first followed by Rod, Rose, and Lily. He fell to the floor and his children crawled all over him.

Roz looked at Delicious. "You did this in one day?"

"We did this in less than an hour. Then we practiced it three more times, and the kids loved it."

"I can see why, but my husband is going to say those magic words again."

"Do you mean, 'I am going to kill her?' For him saying that to me it's like saying he loves me."

"I told him this morning that you are treating him like the brother you never had, and you are just catching up on that rivalry."

"That's a very good analogy Roz. I'll have to speak to my analyst about that."

"You're seeing the psychiatrist?"

"Yes, I see Even every day. He is just like my mother, and if he isn't enough to keep my head on straight, no one is. I believe it's time to get the children off Rod. We want him well enough to go through that procedure this week."

"Did you know they have to shave him completely?"

"Absolutely, the area has to be absolutely sterile, and hair is not allowed in that area. I have heard girls in school talk about some of their boyfriends being shaved, and they love it. They say it makes blowjobs that much more fun because you don't have to worry about getting hair in your mouth. I have no personal experience in that area, but it sounds reasonable."

"Delicious, you are in for a real surprise when you become sexually active."

"Speaking of sexually active; can the lack of sex cause a man's mind to go blank?"

"Why does this sound like a Rod question?"

"Because it is a question about Rod's intellectual capacity."

"What did my darling husband do this time?"

Delicious told Roz the story about the coach wanting to fail her, offering her a B if she knocked him on his ass, and Rods reaction to the question. Neither Even nor I could believe he didn't know the answer to that question, and we knew that you cut him off the evening before. I asked my uncle if it was possible that a lack of sex could cause a man's mind to go blank. Even said he didn't know because he was celibate. I told him so was I, and we would have to ask you. So I'm asking, is it possible?"

"My husband had never been angry at anyone in his entire life until he met you. Since he has been around you, he has been angry almost every day, for one reason or another. Now you ask me if lack of sex could make a man's mind go blank when you ask him a simple question like yours. Normally I would say no. However, having seen the change in my husband, over the last five days, I am beginning to think anything concerning the two of you is possible. He is even thinking about seeing a psychiatrist because he is so conflicted. He thinks you are the best thing that has ever happened to Even. He is worried about what will happen to him if you hurt him. Even has not had to deal with emotions since he left home to go to college. Rod doesn't know if there will be enough pieces left to put him back together.."

Delicious called out, "Colonel Jeffrey collect our troops and bring them to the table."

The Colonel replied, "Yes General."

Rod picked his head up off the floor and looked at Delicious. "Who made you a General?"

"I was made a six star General by the President of Idaho Springs."

"There is no such thing as a six star General."

"Do you have another $100 you want to lose?"

"You stay away from my wallet; and who is the President of Idaho Springs?"

Meekly, Roz raised her hand.

Rod put his head back on the floor and said, "Oh God, I'm fucked."

"Rod, watch your language; the children are here."

Delicious helped him up from the floor, and quietly said, "We have to talk privately. Will you take me home?"

"I will, but only if you let me run you over on the way there."

"That is fine with me." She turned, walked to the table, and sat between Rose and Lily. The young girls were beyond excited.

Rod stood where he was and shook his head in disbelief. He didn't move until Roz as if he was going to join them.

The motor functions in his body returned to normal, his feet moved and he was able to walk to the table. He sat down, and Delicious took his plate and placed three slices of beef with potatoes alongside, on it. She handed it back to him gracefully.

"Are these the 3 pieces that are poisoned?"

Delicious replied, "Would I do something so obvious?"

Roz said, "Okay you two, not at my dinner table."

Delicious and Rod said, "Yes Dear."

Rosalynn laughed at both of them

**************

"Okay you pain in the ass, what did you want to talk about?"

"I will never hurt my uncle, Rod; never in a million years. He explained things to me about his relationship with my mother that I never knew. I blamed him for many of her problems, believing that he never offered to help her. He told me he offered her everything he had if she would come to live with him and get away from my father. He told me you knew the story, and I could ask you about it if I did not believe him. Looking into his face I knew he was telling me the truth. He was in so much pain while telling me all the stories, I cried. My mom kept all of this a secret from me. Uncle Even said it was my own good. All these years I hated him for not helping her, and all these years he offered her everything, and she refused. I swear on my love for my mother, I will never hurt my Uncle Even. If you want, I will put that in writing, I will."

"No one can ever know how you will hurt another person, Delicious. It could be the wrong word at the wrong time, or seeing someone he doesn't approve of. Even has never had to deal with depression, I am not sure if he will know how."

"Rod have you been listening to our conversation at all? That is what he has been dealing with all his adult life. All of a sudden that part is gone; my mom is gone. The love of his life is no longer here to torment his soul. He lost her through a freak accident, but she cannot hurt him anymore. I am her replacement, and I do not have any of the terrible baggage that my mother would have carried with her. Maybe he can change, maybe he can find his own happiness. Maybe he can find love!

The End