A Love Story: My Father, My Lover

"Christ, Jess, you're only 23, and you've got your entire fucking life ahead of you! You wanting to stay here and live with me for the rest of your live is the stupidest thing I ever heard of!" Justin bit his lower lip after the words came out of his mouth...how the hell could he have said that to Jess...his own daughter; the delicate, sensitive, woman who'd do anything in the world for him and who'd given him her heart and professed her love.

"Daddy?" Jessica's chin quivered and she slightly lowered her head, not wanting her father to see the tears in her eyes once again.

"Enough." Justin's tone had dropped, he was no longer yelling. Yet the eerie calm of his voice tore through Jessica's heart as badly as when her daddy yelled at her. "We are father and daughter, and though I love you with all my heart, Jess, we will never be lovers, it simply won't...I won't allow it...to ever happen. You might think you are in love with me, but sweetheart, you aren't. You simply haven't experienced life yet. You need to get out and date, explore..."

Jessica quickly interrupted him. "Are you really this clueless, daddy?" Jess was trying to control her frustration, she loved her daddy so much, but she had to get through to him. "Haven't you figured it out by now WHY I was never interested in dating all those silly teenage boys? Why I've never had a boyfriend? Why I never needed to go on birth control?" Jessica's face was red and now tear-stained.

As she stood there watching her father, finally the look of comprehension crept across his face. "Jessica, no, don't tell me you've...are you trying to tell me that...oh, shit, Jess!"

"I'm a virgin, daddy. I've been waiting my whole life for you. You're all that I want!"

"Oh, dear, God! Listen, this conversation is over. We'll never discuss it again." Justin stood there staring at his naked, vulnerable, daughter for a moment longer. He wanted desperately to hold her, to feel her soft skin against his firm body, her pouty lips and warm tongue inside his mouth, her hands wrapped around his rigid cock, stroking him. He wanted to taste her wet, sweet, pussy. For a moment, he had an image flash through his mind of his mouth between her legs, his tongue thrusting feral in and out of her hot, dripping, cunt, and her body writhing beneath his touch, not able to do anything but moan and beg for more. He envisioned what it would be like for her to cum, with him being the one with the power, the only one able to give her such an inspiring orgasm. He thought of how she'd taste, squirming, as she'd undoubtedly thrust her hips upwards, wanting his mouth to devour all her cum.

Almost as quickly, he closed his eyes tightly, shaking his head, trying to get the images to go away. But Jessica read him well. She knew he was struggling with his thoughts and emotions.

Upstairs, Jamie had heard his sister and father yelling. "Oh, shit, Dane, something's wrong. Dad and Jess are yelling now. Gotta-go—call-you-later—love-you—bye." His sentence sounding like one, long word as he spoke fast. He dashed to the window and looked out one more time.

Jess was panting from the intense, emotionally-charged situation her and her father had just been going through. Her heart was racing, and she was feeling lightheaded. She stepped forward and took one of her dad's hands inside both of hers, clasping them at the base of her throat holding on to it for dear life, like it would be the last time she'd ever feel or see him again.

"Please, dad, don't do this, don't shut me out. I couldn't stand it if you do that. I need you, daddy, I love you so desperately and I want to spend my life showing you every day how much you mean to me and how special you are."

Justin only looked at her without answering. His heart ached terribly for her, but he was doing what he believed he needed to do, as her father. He had to show her she was being silly and that it was time to grow up. He kept his facial expression stoic. It was time to make some changes. They would be difficult, but he believed them necessary, for Jessica's own good.

He removed his hand from hers, turned around and walked out of the pool, quickly putting on his shorts. He started to walk back inside the house when suddenly behind him, he heard a thud. He quickly turned to see that Jess had fainted. "Fuck!" He ran over to her and scooped her up in his arms. "Damn, I'm such a fucking idiot."

By the time he made it to the French doors to enter into the house, Jamie was there, opening them. Jamie glared at his dad and shook his head. He preceded his dad up the stairs to Jess's room, pulling down the covers so his dad could lay her down. Jamie got on the bed, sitting down on the other side of his sister while his dad stood there, covering Jess up with the comforter. Justin stepped back, crossed his arms over his chest and looked at his daughter.

"What, Jamie!" Justin barked at his son.

"You couldn't simply love her back. Do you have any idea what you've done to her, now? How you've made her feel?"

Justin's mouth dropped open in disbelief...his son knew! "How the hell do you know about this?"

"She's been in love with you for years. You mean you've never figured that out? With all the times she'd only want to be with you, never caring if she went out with friends, or had dates, or went to school functions?"

"She DID all those things, Jamie. She went places with friends, she went on a couple dates, and she went to school functions."

"Yes, but didn't you ever notice how when she came home, you were the first, and only, person she'd look for? It was always you, she couldn't wait to be with you again.

Besides that, she may have had a few dates, but hasn't it ever occurred to you why she never had a boyfriend?"

Justin hung his head. He feebly said, "Yeah, she told me that...about 20 minutes ago."

"She had to tell you? You hadn't figured that out?"

Justin glared angrily at his son, "No, smart ass, I didn't. I'm her damn father, for crying out loud. I'm not supposed to have feelings like those."

"Oh, so you DO have romantic feelings for her after all."

"Damn it!" Justin put his face in one of his hands and rubbed his face as he brought his hand down, then placed his hands on his hips.

"It's not healthy for either one of us, Jamie, especially Jess. She needs to grow up and experience life."

"She IS grown up, dad. She may be only 23-years-old, but she's probably the most mature person I know. Don't you do anything to hurt her any more than she is, she doesn't fucking deserve it."

Justin didn't respond to Jamie. He only stood there, staring at Jessica.

"What are you going to do, dad?" Jamie looked at his dad with trepidation. He'd seen that expression only a couple of times on his dad's face through the years, but he knew it wasn't good.

"I'm going to do what needs to be done. I'm still your father, and I don't owe you an explanation."

"All I know is you better not hurt her anymore."

Justin wanted to lash out at his son, but he knew Jamie was reading his body language better than he was giving him credit for; besides, Jamie was protecting Jess.

"Yeah, I get that," he mumbled.

Justin's resolve quickly returned, "It's not right, Jamie. As much as she may claim to love me, that kind of relationship will never happen. Why the fuck am I talking about this with you anyway...shit...I really am losing my mind."

Justin headed towards the door of his daughter's bedroom then turned around and looked at Jamie, "Stay here for a minute."

"Sure, dad."

Justin returned a few minutes later with a bottle of water and a bottle of prescription pills and a tube of ointment. "Jamie, here's the medicine the doctor prescribed for her; it's for the headaches he said she'll probably have for the next day or two. She's due to take her next pill in about an hour. Wake her up if she's still asleep. It'll be better than letting her wake up on her own, suffering with an excruciating headache later. Preventing them is always better. In the morning, after she showers, maybe you can put the ointment on her wound; it's to prevent infection." Justin then turned and walked out.

Jamie didn't ask his dad where he was going. He knew he really wasn't going anywhere, he was simply removing himself from the situation for the time being. He heard his dad's bedroom door close and then heard him lock it.

"Well, this has certainly been an interesting day," Jamie thought. He quickly dashed back to the guest bedroom, which was next to Jessica's, and grabbed his cell phone and laptop and a couple extra pillows. He went back to Jess's room and got in bed next to his sister, sitting with his back against the headboard, propping a couple pillows behind his back. He opened his lap top, checking his emails, and calling Dane again to let him know what was happening.

Jamie was like his father and sister. He too, had his own business and was a very well-sought-after business man, and had become very successful, and very rich, very quickly.

He had gotten his college degrees in Business Administration and another bachelor's degree in Business Organizational Management. He worked free lance, contractual, for businesses or corporations. He dealt with restructuring, merging, job reclassifications, training upper management, as well as teaching business ethics and behaviors, as well as human-resource management.

After having given his sister her medication, then working for a couple more hours on his laptop, conducting business, Jamie closed it up, got under the covers, quickly falling asleep.

Not used to sleeping in, he woke up before Jessica did. She had scooted over to him in her sleep and was curled up, almost in a fetal position, snuggling close to him. His arm was around her shoulders as she slept. Since he had already cancelled his meetings for the day, he decided to stay put and not wake her up.

Uncharacteristically, he drifted in and out of sleep for another hour or so before he felt Jess start moving around as she was waking up.

"Morning, gorgeous," he said to Jess, kissing her forehead.

"Hey, handsome," she replied giggling and rubbing her eyes. The reality of the night before hit her, "Oh, Jamie, I tried talking to daddy, I really did. I finally got the courage and..." Jess burst into tears, crying hard and loudly. She wrapped her arms around her brother's waist, pressing her face into his chest and soaking his t-shirt with her tears. She cried so hard, his shirt was soon soaked. As he tried to sooth her, he saw his dad, already showered and dressed for the day, walk passed Jessica's bedroom door and step into the doorway, watching his son hold his daughter as she sobbed. Jamie only glared at his father.

Justin felt frozen in place. He tried to swallow, but the lump in his throat was so large, he thought it would choke him. More than anything else in the world he wanted to run to Jess, to scoop her up in his arms, tell her he loved her more than anything, that he was completely in love with her and that she was the love of his life he'd always dreamed of. Then he wanted to fuck her, fuck her without mercy, without stopping; he wanted his very well-endowed cock in every orifice of her body. He wanted to watch her suck him off and swallow his cum as it slid down her throat. He wanted to ram his cock so far up her, then feel his hot cum stuff her full. He wanted to take her virginity, both from her pussy and her ass. He wanted to see so much cum in her ass, after fucking her into oblivion, that it trickled out, running down her ass, making a trail to her pussy.

Justin hurriedly got a grip on his thoughts and again convinced himself he was seriously having some issues, and he would stop those thoughts; they were wrong.

Jamie couldn't believe how cold and callus his dad was. He wanted desperately to run up to his dad and punch him, or kick him, or scream at him...anything...anything that would make him wake up and smell the reality.

At that moment, Jess, feeling the tension in the air, seemed to know her dad was there. With her head still buried in her brother's chest, she said, "Dad?" Jess then lifted up her head and looked at her father. He gasped as the pain from her eyes bore into him. Her red, puffy eyes and wet cheeks were testament of how hard she had been crying.

"Daddy?" Jess sat up, her face lined with questioning, wanting nothing more than to feel her father's arms wrapped tightly around her, comforting her, kissing her, telling her everything would be okay now. Instead, Justin only stared, unable to look away. "Please, daddy," as fresh tears trickled down. Justin unintentionally said, "Holy shit, what have I done." But as he went to take a step towards her, he again froze, then abruptly turned and darted out of the room, closing the door behind him. On the other side, he stood there, his hand still on the door knob, not wanting to let go of it.

The war going on inside him was making him insane, he couldn't hold out for much longer. He was trying to do the right thing. As difficult as it was, he had to do the right thing for Jess, he wanted to ensure her happiness, without ever feeling regrets...he wanted her to have everything she'd ever want...except for the one thing she wanted most; THAT...he would not give her.

As he heard her wail, his heart broke. Soon his own tears started, but he was her father and he knew what was best. He clinched his jaw, making his resolve, and headed to his home office, closing and locking the door behind him. In all these years, this was the first time he'd ever closed the door or locked it. But it was for the best.

Jamie held his sister until she quit crying, utterly exhausted. She got out of bed and slowly made her way to the bathroom to shower. She felt totally crushed. She felt like every bit of life had been drained from her. Jamie could hear her crying again in the shower. He was livid. He decided he'd had enough. He walked down the hall to his dad's office, only to find a post-it note stuck to the door, and his office locked. He took the note off the door and read it. 'Have a meeting with a client. Be back later, Dad.'

"Great...fucking perfect," cynicism dripped from those words. There was no way Jamie was going to leave his sister right now. She needed someone, and as much as he, never in a million years would think this, his dad wouldn't be there this time for her. That realization only pissed him off more.

When she came out of the bathroom, she was dressed in a pair of jeans and a tank top. She went over to her small living room and flopped down on the couch, looking out the window.

Jamie didn't say anything. He applied the ointment to wound on the back of his sister's head and applied a fresh bandage.

"There," he said cheerfully, "all done and good as new."

"Thanks," Jess softly said. "I guess I should try to get some work done." Jess stood up, kissed her brother on the cheek and went to her home office. But she couldn't concentrate. No matter what she tried to do, her mind was flooded with thoughts and memories of her dad. He'd been her rock, her most fervent supporter all her life and now she felt so cold and empty on the inside. She felt her very soul ebb away and disappear.

Jamie went downstairs and started cleaning up the mess of last night's Chinese take-out. Once the kitchen and living rooms were spotless, the dusting done, vacuum ran, dishes washed and put away, and trash taken out, he thought about taking a quick dip in the pool. But the weather had progressively gotten worse all afternoon. One of those huge summer thunderstorms was starting to move in.

He turned on the weather channel and started watching it. It was a fierce storm, the kind that can knock trees completely over or yank them out of the ground by the roots, take roofs off of houses and sometimes smash in car windshields from the huge hail that would sometimes accompany such a large thunderstorm.

As the late afternoon and evening progressed, the sky got darker and darker. Jamie decided to go back up to his sister's room. He stretched out on her couch in her small living room and got out his laptop, taking care of business emails. He left the door open so he could hear her if she called for him.

After a few hours of going through the motions, feeling like every minute took an hour, Jess heard her dad walking up the stairs. Her heart started pounding in her head and her palms were sweaty, she was breathing ragged, wanting desperately to run into her father's arms, wanting to be held by him, wanting him to confess his love to her, needing his lips on hers, taking her, possessing her, loving her. But as his form appeared in the doorway to her office, the small glimmer of hope that shone in her eyes, faded away and extinguished. Justin noticed it immediately and he knew he was the reason why. He had made the conscious decision that when he looked at Jess, he would not smile or show any expression; his face was void and stoic.

When he spoke, his words were soft, but also lacked feeling.

"Jess, I have a surprise for you." His words were so flat, both father and daughter were shocked by how empty his voice sounded. "I've secured your very own apartment. It's only about 10 miles from here, so you'll still be close. It's in a completely gated community, and I got you a large, three-bedroom, so you have plenty of room for your home business.

We'll take the next two weeks to get all your stuff packed up, and then we'll get you moved. It will be good for you, you'll see. You'll have your own place, make your own rules, do whatever you want, whenever you want. I'll take care of all your living expenses; you don't have to worry about a thing. You'll meet new people, make new friends...maybe even find a boyfriend. It's time to live on your own, Jessica."

Jess stood up from her desk, clutching a picture in a frame, to her chest. She walked around her desk and walked toward her dad, standing about four feet away from him.

"Daddy, please...don't do this to me. I'm begging you...please don't kick me out. This is my home, dad. I...I...can't...leave...please!" Her tears again trickled down her cheeks, her voice pleading with him, begging him. He continued to look at her with a cold expression, but inside, he felt he was dying. "Daddy," there was something different in Jessica's voice, something that scared Justin and made his skin feel cold. "You're breaking my heart." Jess was so dejected she thought she might never breath normally again.

"You'll be okay, Jess. It's an adjustment, but in the end, you'll see I was right." Justin looked down at his hands; he'd been wringing them since he'd stepped into his daughter's office. He kept fighting the battle raging inside him, having to try harder and harder to convince himself he was doing the right thing. Still, he felt so emotional that he couldn't look at his beautiful daughter.

Jess no longer had anything to say. She walked passed her father without looking at him. As she stood side-by-side with him, she took the picture frame that she was holding and handed it to him, still looking away. She barely whispered, "Here," and walked away.

Without turning around to see where his daughter went, Justin had to shift to lean up against the door frame; he felt he would fall over if he didn't. The war inside him was getting worse...had he REALLY made the right decisions?

He looked down at the picture. He gasped after looking at it for a moment, suddenly noticing something he'd never noticed before. It was a picture he'd seen a thousand times. Hell, this picture sat on Jessica's desk, he saw it almost every day. But as he stared at it, a second realization came to him. Although it was a photo he knew well, he'd always only GLANCED at it, he'd never once REALLY looked at it...now, he knew why; everything was now coming together.