Ashton Hill Fools

"Is she coming back? I promised to show her the real dinosaur eggs," Noah asked, looking up into his father's face.

"She'll come back to visit, I'm sure, buddy," Grayson lied to his son.

"I'm gonna miss her," Noah said sadly.

"Me too, buddy, me too," Grayson found that he meant it. As much as he knew he made the right decision in not stopping her, he already missed her presence in this house. They'd made it halfway up the stairs when the front door banged open, and a frazzled looking Byron stood there.

"Where is she?" he demanded.

"Quinn?" Grayson frowned.

"Yes, Quinn! Where is she?" he asked again breathlessly, panic written over his face.

"Gone. She packed her things and left over an hour ago," Grayson said, not understanding what was going on.

"Call Roland, he's been trying to reach you! I'll go see if she stopped at the ranch on her way out of town, assuming she was heading for the city and not the coast!" he said and disappeared out of the door before Grayson could even formulate a question.

Caroline came in the door as Byron sped off, his tires kicking up the gravel driveway, and took over putting Noah to bed. She told Grayson to call Roland, or at least answer his phone when Roland called, then disappeared upstairs with the little boy. Grayson didn't know what was going on, but he knew it was nothing good. He'd done the right thing, he'd told himself. He couldn't have stopped her going if she was determined to go anyway, could he? Guilt clawed at him. If he hadn't been so mad at her and accused her of bringing drama into his life she might not have gone. Who was he kidding, she wouldn't have left if he hadn't have been so mad at her, if he'd been able to comfort her and talk to her reasonably. But, instead, he'd let her go without a fight, with the baby, at night to god knows where, and now something had gone wrong.

"Caroline!" He called after his sister-in-law. "What's going on?"

"All I know is, Quinn has fired Roland, something about some guys who were looking for Rheagan finding her. They're bad people apparently," she said, telling him just enough to make him realise he needed to call Roland.

*****

Chapter 7

Quinn had gone to her producer's house and been welcomed with open arms by his wife and ushered inside. On hearing that she was in trouble and may have an exclusive news story for him, he had opened his house to her and promised to keep her whereabouts a secret until they got to the bottom of her sister's disappearance and why people were looking for her. They'd contacted a family friend who was happy to have a boarder in her house for a few weeks, and was overjoyed to act as a nanny, which allowed Quinn the time she needed to find her sister. Without having to check into a hotel where she could be found, or use a nanny agency, it also had the bonus of deterring anyone who might check to see if Quinn had turned to her friend and producer, Keith, when she came back to the city.

Going with the theory that Rheagan was a social climber, she contacted the editors of the social pages in various media outlets around the country and sent out a recent photo of Rheagan, asking if anyone knew who the woman was and where she could be found.

Rheagan, it turned out, had been married, or at least changed her name to Rhea Blue, she travelled widely, but had a home in one of the more cosmopolitan cities. After little more than a name and an occasional sighting, none of which were recent, Quinn began to try her contacts within the police force. Feeling as if she was getting nowhere fast, a sports reporter from her own network got back to her and said that they expected she and her current boyfriend would attend the polo final. It wasn't much, but it was something, and Quinn planned to be at that polo match too.

"It sounds like a porn stars name to me," Jocelyn stifled a laugh as she picked April up out of her high chair to clean her up and change her for bed.

"It does a bit, doesn't it," Keith smiled at the nanny and looked at Quinn with worried eyes. "You know, if we found out his much information, then the people looking for her will know where she will be as well," he warned.

"I know, but I have to find her, I can't move on with my life until I do," she sighed.

"I'm going to head home. Don't make any decisions tonight, okay?" he looked at her seriously. "If the people looking for her are as dangerous as we think, then I don't want you taking any risks."

"Trust me, I'm not a risk taker," Quinn said sadly. She'd had trouble sleeping, and the home and family she had run away from were never far from her mind. It was becoming all-consuming for her to find Rheagan so she could move on from everything that was holding back now. Grayson, Noah and April would become a wonderful memory to look back on and cherish as she travelled the country, if not the world, doing the job she loved.

"Jocelyn loves having you and the baby here. You know the letter alone would give you custody of that little girl. Rheagan doesn't strike me as the maternal type. If she left her once, why do you think she wouldn't just dump her again when she became inconvenient?" Keith asked. "You could make it work here, come back to work part-time to start with. The network executives love you. You could ask for almost anything, and they would try to make it happen, hell, I would try to make it happen for you."

"I need to see her, Keith, to talk to her. I need to know why she did this. That baby girl is so precious. How could any mother just walk away from her?" she asked.

"Yet you will if Rheagan takes her back," Keith pointed out.

"And it will hurt like hell, but Rheagan is her mother. That matters," Quinn said, although her belief in that had faltered lately, as April's burbling was beginning to take the shape of words, and the occasional "ma..." crossed her lips and made her heart ache to be the little girl's mother. It couldn't happen though, not with her job and lifestyle. She wasn't a boulder, like Grayson, she was a rolling stone.

"I beg to differ," Keith began, but stopped and picked up his phone, putting up a finger that indicated he'd just be one minute. Quinn mimed rocking a baby to let him know she was going to say goodnight to April and give him some privacy. He held up his hand to stop her from leaving, grabbed a pen from his pocket and scrawled a number on the inside of his forearm.

"Wait," he said, and googled the phone number and nodding before calling it back and asking for a doctor by name before passing her the phone.

"Quinn Thomas speaking?" she said, frowning at Keith.

"This is Doctor Moran at the Royal Hospital. We've had a patient come into emergency, and you're listed as the next of kin. I'm afraid Rheagan Myers' injuries are substantial, we'd like you to come into the hospital as soon as possible," he spoke quickly and succinctly, as if rushed off his feet.

"I'll come immediately!" Quinn gasped, staring wide-eyed at Keith as she handed the phone back to him.

*****

"Roland," Grayson said as he answered his phone. It was the middle of the night, and Grayson snatched up a towel to mop up the sweat on his face. Exercising at this hour had become a habit now in an attempt to lessen his insomnia. "Did you find her?" He didn't feel the need to qualify who; his focus had been on finding Quinn and April since the night they had left and seemed to disappear off the face of the earth.

He'd spent the last week on a rollercoaster of emotion between anxiety and fear for her safety, self-loathing for not stopping her leave, denial that he couldn't have stopped her, and panic, because as each day passed he missed her more and knew for a fact that he loved her. Or at least he could love her if he could find her to talk to her.

"They're both at the Royal. How soon can you get here?" Roland said.

"Both? What?" he shouted into the phone.

"Rheagan's in a bad way but alive. Quinn was listed as next of kin," Roland said in an attempt to calm his friend down. "Drive carefully, brother," Roland hung up.

Grayson jogged up the stairs and stepped into the shower, considering what he needed to do and thanking God that his mother had returned to help him until he found Quinn and tried to convince her to return. In less than an hour he was in his car and heading towards the city, hoping beyond hope that now that Roland had found Quinn he wouldn't lose her again.

He'd never expected to feel this sort of love for anyone, least of all Quinn, but he had finally acknowledged, if only to himself, that he loved her. There were no angels singing, or the heavens parting to throw a lightning bolt down on him to herald the love he felt, he felt none of that, but when he thought about Quinn and everything they had shared it felt so right. Like his heart had found a warm spot to curl up in to love and be loved. The love he felt for her was like nothing he'd ever felt before. Was she perfect? No, definitely not, she carried more emotional baggage than real luggage. She was wary, cynical and insecure, but she wasn't mean or selfish or flighty, and never dramatic. Why had he accused her of that?

The day after she left he had begun to miss her. He missed the phone calls and text messages they shared during his long days at work. He missed how it felt when he came home at the end of a day to find her there; filling his home with warmth and laughter, good food, and the gentle, caring heart she shared so generously with the children. He missed the mind-blowing sex that always left him aching for more. He had started off not trusting her because of Rheagan, and he couldn't pinpoint when that changed to loving who she was, despite her sister, but it was true. He loved her.

So many people had disappointed her, the people who were supposed to love her best never had, and, as a result, she never stayed anywhere long enough to form bonds of caring or love with anyone else. He didn't blame her, knowing what he knew now, but he knew he had to find a way to make her believe that he loved her and wouldn't disappoint her. That he would love her and April and be there for the long haul. He believed she felt something for him too, this couldn't be one-sided, he just had to make her listen and trust him.

He didn't want the traditional wife he had always claimed, he wanted her, and he wanted her to be able to have it all. He had the money and skill to organise the shit out of anything, there was no way he couldn't organise around her career as well as his own. He wanted her to have it all, a home and family and her career. He didn't want her to have to choose like she had been doing, or at least thinking she had to do with both April and him. Her career didn't have to be the 'be all and end-all' of her life.

Grayson walked into the emergency department seeking out a familiar face and found Roland. He tried to slow his movements and the turmoil he felt inside so as not to appear as if he, too, needed help from the staff here. Roland nodded and stood up, leading the way past emergency to a small waiting room where a middle-aged man sat looking tired alongside two uniformed policemen.

"This is Quinn's ex-brother-in-law, Grayson Ryde, he'll take over if you want to go and get some sleep," Roland said to Keith as if they were friends. The man eyed him suspiciously, and Grayson wondered what Quinn had said about him, if anything.

"Go see if you can talk to her, she's not responding to anyone else," Keith sighed. "I think they've sent for a psych consultant, because she's shut down so completely."

Grayson didn't wait to hear anything further. He barged into the room, anxious for the woman he thought he could love for the rest of his life. Rheagan was unrecognizable, her features swollen and bruised out of proportion with tubes and tape marring the once pretty face, but Grayson only had eyes for Quinn. She sat staring at her sister as if willing her to wake up.

"Quinn," Grayson knelt in front of her chair and gathered her into his arms. She was limp and seemed to stare right through him. "Quinn, where's April? You have to keep it together for April," he whispered. "You can't shut down, Quinn, April needs you, I need you. Come back to me!" he said with a little desperation in his voice.

"April is with the nanny, she's safe. Safer than Rheagan. She'd dead, you know, Rheagan, she's already gone. It's just the machines now, making her breathe, they want me to say it's okay to turn them off," she said woodenly. There was no emotion in her voice or features. It was the first time Grayson had ever seen her eyes so flat and lifeless.

"Are you ready to do that?" Grayson asked, making her look at him, as if only just seeing him for the first time since he entered the room.

"Why are you here, Grayson? Go home and look after your son," she stood then as if to walk out of the room.

"I'm here for you," he said as if that fact was perfectly obvious. He reached out to touch Quinn's arm, but she jerked it away. "No one should have to go through something like this on their own. I may have cursed your sister many times over, but even she didn't deserve this."

"Why do you even care? You made it clear you don't need or want this sort of drama in your life," she asked in a flat dead voice. There was no accusation, no hurt, no anger; she was just stating the fact in a dull, emotionless way.

"I was wrong, let me help you, Quinn," he tried again to reach out to her and she side-stepped him. "Come home. Bring her home to Ashton Hill to rest with her mother, I can help you. Let me help you."

"Go home, Grayson," she said coldly, and left the room seeking out the doctors.

Grayson looked back at the bed. What the hell happened? He wondered. He wouldn't have even known it was Rheagan except for the still gorgeous thick hair that she shared with Quinn. Aside from that, he didn't recognise anything about her. He needed to find out what happened and if Quinn was in any danger. He went in search of Roland.

He wasn't sure how he had missed the two burly policemen when he entered the emergency ward. They stood now talking to Quinn as Keith and Roland hovered protectively behind her. They spoke seriously, and he could see her nodding with the same flat, dull-eyed stare.

After handing April to Quinn, Rheagan had returned to the city and gone to the police with evidence about her lover's illegal business dealings. The police had suspected he was involved in several illegal arms and drug deals, but could never get enough evidence to arrest and prosecute. That was until a disgruntled Rheagan who wanted her freedom back showed up and offered the evidence they needed in return for protection and anonymity.

A series of successful raids had been carried out from her evidence over the last two weeks, which is why there was a bounty on her head. She was being escorted to a new location by undercover officers when they became involved in a high-speed chase, and the accident happened. The roundup of suspects and evidence from the raid allowed the police leeway to arrest the rich and powerful lover, but he was found dead from an apparent suicide in his office.

The police believed that there would be no further danger to either Quinn or the child she cared for, and that after the autopsy and investigation were complete, she could take her sister's body and effects. They gave her the names of several people to contact and the address of her sister's apartment in the southern city, as well as the corporate body details.

"Let me help you, Quinn," Grayson said gently once the police officers had gone and the doctor had been called to turn off the machines. "I want to help you through this."

Quinn nodded, saying nothing. She was numb; it was all too much to take in. The sister she both loved and hated had been trying to do the right thing, not for altruistic reasons, but, still, the right thing, and now she was dead. How was she supposed to process that? Should she cry? Should she feel something, anything aside from relief that it was over? All the stupid, selfish drama Rheagan had subjected her to her whole life was over. The only family she had now were two small children. She needed to go home and hold April, she needed to see Noah, but that meant letting Grayson back into her life. She should feel something, but she just felt numb, so she let him guide her back into the room as the machines keeping her sister alive were switched off.

*****

Quinn rested her head against the cool glass of the bay window in which she sat. Still too stunned to cry and still feeling numb. People moved around the house on tiptoe and talked in hushed whispers, even April seemed subdued as she played on the floor. As if knowing Quinn was looking at her, she looked up and gave her a grin, holding up the doll she was playing with.

April was her daughter now, her responsibility. She had to pull herself together and do what needed to be done for that little girl. She couldn't keep her, not with her career, and, if she did keep her, how would she support them without her career? A part of her wanted to scream and hurl curses at her selfish, narcissistic sister, but mostly she just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep and not have to think at all.

Is this what an emotional meltdown felt like? For the first time since she had left home at the age of seventeen she didn't know what to do or how to act. Should she run or should she stay? Should she talk to Grayson and let him help her, or just send him away and do what needed to be done for April? She felt panic grip her at the thought of being responsible for such a sweet baby. She couldn't keep her, could she? Her indecision terrified her more than even the thought of giving up her life as she knew it to try and look after the baby that was essentially now her daughter.

"Hey there, sweetheart," Grayson's low tones roused her from her dark thoughts, and she turned her head to look at him as he leaned his big shoulder into the frame of the door to the small sitting room. He was so solid, so protective, she knew she could lean on him and he would look after her and April, they brought out his White Knight instinct, and that was who he was at his core. What she saw in Grayson's steady green eyes was not love, but his need to watch over and protect those around him.

Quinn took a steadying breath and placed her hand on the window. She'd loved this man and left him, she was still physically powerfully attracted to him, and she fought the urge to throw herself against him and let him take all her pain away, if only for a little while. She needed to stand on her own two feet. She had hoped the distance from him over the last week would have given her some clarity, but it had only made this moment worse. She wasn't what he wanted, and she didn't know what she wanted anymore.

"How are you doing, sweetheart?" He asked, and she felt a big familiar hand brush over her hair and settled on her neck, and she closed her eyes as she felt him kiss her forehead. She fought the urge to wrap her arms around his waist and just rest in the comforting warmth of him for a moment. She was exhausted emotionally and physically, and she still hadn't shed a tear.

"I'm..." she shrugged, trying to find the right word, Sad? Gutted? Whipped? "I'm okay," she said softly.

"Really? I feel like someone put me through the wringer," he sat beside her and reached out to tilt her face up to his. He stroked a thumb across her cheekbone and tilted his head. Even like this, she was so beautiful.

Quinn felt the familiar charge of skin on skin she had always felt with Grayson, and she almost leaned toward him, wanting nothing more than to rest her head on his chest and give in to that feeling. Instead, she pulled away. She had to make smart choices now, it wasn't just about her anymore, and this man didn't and couldn't love her, not the way she wanted, and she couldn't be what he wanted either.