Book 02: A Match Made Ch. 05

"Am I off the hook?"

"You are buying this dress, Mother. And yeah, it seems so."

"Consider it your birthday present, dearie. Let's go pay for this and then we can see what movies are playing and when."

It came down to "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" and "Anchorman 2."" We both like Ben Stiller but, in the end, silly and laughter won the day. We bought tickets for the 1:50 show and headed next store to The Cheesecake Factory for lunch. I'd been to one of these before but it had been some time since my last visit. That it was literally right next door to the theater was convenient. It also meant we could take our time - which we did.

Jenna ordered fish and chips and I ordered a grilled shrimp and bacon club. She laughed hysterically when I told her about telling Kara that I was a bacon whore.

"You've become a complete loon as you've gotten older, Mom. God that's funny."

"Well it's true! There are a few other things I can't get enough of when I have them."

She snorted. "Yeah, like Kara."

I smiled and agreed, saying, "Very, very true child of mine. Hash browns, Twizzlers, and potato chips are on that list." I went on to tell her about how we played with potato chips that Tuesday night several months ago.

"Geez oh pete, the two of you are sex maniacs on top of it. Actually I'm a little jealous. You're very creative with your foreplay and lovemaking, Mom. Good for the two of you."

Her jaw hung slack as I told her about our Twizzlers hijinks. I rendered my own child speechless I'll have you know.

"I guess a child doesn't want to know about their parents' sex life for a reason. It's pretty damn interesting that the two of you are as into each other as you are." She kind of got a far away look in her eyes. "I wonder if the brat and June are like that too."

The server brought our ice teas. I know, right. Ice tea in December is pretty silly. I didn't feel like having wine.

Jenna fiddled with her glass for a moment, then looked at me and asked, "Were you and Daddy pretty hot in the cot?" She blushed. "I'm guessing not so much toward the end; but was there ever a time when the two of you... oh god, I can't even bring myself to finish the thought." She shook her head, obviously uncomfortable with the whole thing.

"How about we talk about something else?" My still blushing daughter nodded her head vigorously. "I'm worried about Kara, honey. She and Destiny get along famously, which is great. She said the oddest thing; that she didn't make friends easily." Jenna cocked her head and furrowed her brow. "I know, right!"

"That's so weird, Mom. One of the things I liked about Kara when I met her was how easily she fit in with all of us."

I could feel myself about to choke up. I took a bite of my sandwich as a distraction then looked at my daughter. "I will forever be grateful to all of you for how quickly you accepted Kara. Accepted her and accepted that your Mother was in love with a woman. That couldn't have been easy for any of you. Even if my marriage to your Father was difficult, he was still your Dad." I looked down and nodded. "God, it really shocked me when Rachel came out to me all that long ago. It's neither here nor there but she never gave the slightest hint that she was romantically interested in a woman."

We were talking and eating -- which isn't the easiest thing to do. I'm writing like it was a smooth, easy conversation. Nope. There were breaks between what one said and the other's reply as we finished the bite of food we were having.

"This started with you saying you're worried about Kara, Mom. Why?"

"With all that's happened she's behind on her bills, her credit history is toast and we had to scramble to bring her mortgage current. She lost her job after she stopped showing up altogether." I shook my head. "I'm worried that it's going to be hard for her to find another one. An unexplained absence for 3 months is going to be a big black mark."

"You mentioned something about drugs at one point. Is she going to have to go to rehab?"

"I honestly don't know. Something shook loose inside Kara after we broke up. She wouldn't talk to me about it. It seems she has with Destiny. Kara feels really good about where she is right now, honey, but I still worry about her, especially after that Friday night thing." It was a Sunday afternoon and the restaurant was somewhat crowded but hardly full so we could talk without everyone hearing what was said. I decided to share with my oldest.

"Kara and I did quite a bit with restraints and other things as a part of our lovemaking." Jenna stared in disbelief. "It's okay, sweetie; nothing we did was done without us talking and agreeing in advance. I'll spare you the details. The point is this -- we were being intimate the other day when she started crying out of nowhere. I couldn't figure out why and let her cry." I took a deep breath. "She finally admitted she wanted me to... restrain her. I was shocked. I told her the truth. It would be a while before either of us would be able to play that way again." I told my daughter what I hadn't told anyone else. "I'm not sure I can ever go back to that sort of play in our intimacy, Jenna, and that has me worried about more than just that. I'm worried about us as a couple." Do I tell her what's next? Should I?

Jenna let the silence be for a few minutes then asked, "Is there something more you're trying to say, Mom?" It frustrated me terribly that I did -- but I cried. I love my Kara and I don't know if we can ever get back where we were before.

I dried my eyes, smiled at my kid and said, "We had talked about getting married. I don't know; it's too early to talk about that after what happened. Except that we did just the other day. I think we were both surprised that it came up so soon after she came back. There are so many questions, what seem like so many obstacles. I just don't know."

"God is this awkward or what -- me giving my Mother relationship advice." We both laughed.

"Go ahead, Jenna, I'm interested to hear what your thoughts are."

"You probably know already. Give this some time. You were together for a good chunk of time. However long it was you were apart probably felt like forever. I know you, Mom. You felt like you lost half of yourself. That's how close the two of you were... at least that's how it felt to me when I was with the two of you." I smiled; she hit it on the head.

"So give it time. Things are different now; both of you are different. You need time too, Mother. If Kara does go into rehab, for however long that is, you should look into shrinkage." I laughed; my kid smiled.

I never hid the fact I was going to... her... from my kids. It wasn't mean spirited; I just... crap, I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't be so open with my kids about my life. I was and I wasn't; know what I mean? I would never tell JR this stuff. And it may sound odd but Rach is too young, at least in my opinion, to talk to her like I am to Jenna. Anyway, how the hell do you know what to do? There's Dr. Phil and his ilk. He makes me puke if you want to know. 60 minutes to solve a problem? It's not much different than our 140 character world -- but I'm 56 and what do I know. Winkeroonies.

Our redheaded server (with way too many tattoos) asked, "Can I get you ladies anything else? My shift is about to end." I looked at my phone and shrieked. The movie was about to start. I grabbed some cash out of my pocketbook and handed it to the slightly startled girl.

"Sorry sweetie, we're almost late for a movie next door. We were so busy talking we lost track of time. Bye!"

Giggling like the fools we are we dashed out of the restaurant and into the theater -- just in time.

** December 29th **

Kara

We spent the day doing a whole lot of nothing. It was nice. No questions, they didn't even ask me about Kelly. To tell you the truth, it was wonderful just watching two lovers love. It made me feel closer to Lissy. Does that make sense? Well, it does to me. Dinner was good, I think. Call me a tad distracted. The conversation with Kelly was on a replay loop in my head. If Destiny or Shade noticed, they kept it to themselves. If fact, when I excused myself to bed early, they both hugged me without a word. I guess if I was them, I'd give me space too.

I hurry into my room and search for my phone. We'd been playing phone tag and I'm anxious to call my baby. Doh! Oh yeah. Shit, how do I explain this? Sitting on the edge of the bed, I see if there is any way to salvage this now pile of parts. The frame is mostly intact and the battery seems to go back into place. What all these other small pieces are, I haven't a clue. It definitely looks a bit frankensteiny but as long as it works. I push the power button, nothing. Okay, deep breath. I take out the battery to make sure the sim card is still there; it is. I replace the battery again and hold the power button down for a few seconds. "Come on." Nothing. Fuck me. Time to face the music.

I hear the two lovers laughing as I approach. They both look up and Destiny says, "Hey you. Change your mind about dessert?" I try to smile; she notices. "Kara, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, well my phone isn't working. Can I borrow yours?" Her eyes squint, wondering if I'm telling the whole story.

"Of course. Here you go." She holds the phone out and says, "No calling any of those phone sex places." Cute. I give her a sideways glance and take it.

"Thanks. I'll bring it back when I'm done." I turn and walk back towards the bedroom. I need to call my baby. Crawling onto the bed, I dial. When it starts to ring the anxiety hits. What do I tell her when she asks why I'm calling from Destiny's phone? Ring. Should I hang up until I figure it out? Ring. Oh hush! She won't care. Ring. Where are you Lissy? Her voicemail answers. Well crap. At least wait and tell her goodnight, she'll check it. No, she'll call back. I hang up. I lie back and wait.

Thirty minutes pass, no call. Maybe I should try her again. I look at the clock - 11:02. Never mind, she's asleep. I start to get up and there's a knock on the door.

"Kara? Can I come in?" Sigh.

"Sure." All ready for bed in her jammies and robe, she sits down at the foot of the bed. I know I'm not hiding my disappointment well and she picks up on it immediately.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I guess I waited too long to call Lissy cuz she didn't answer. Kinda strange she doesn't have her phone with her though. She did ask me to call." I sound pathetic. Destiny peeks over at my mangled phone on the nightstand and raises her eyebrows. "I don't want to talk about it, please."

"Okay, we don't have to, but I'm worried. And as far as Lissy goes, I bet she has her ringer off so it doesn't wake the baby. She probably just fell asleep." That makes sense.

Why didn't I think of that?

Cuz you're a paranoid idiot!

"You're right... you are so right. I'm being silly. Thanks for letting me use your phone." I try to give it back but she puts her hand up.

"No, keep it tonight. In case she calls back." I smile and lean over and hug her. She pulls me tight and holds on for a few. Letting go after another quick squeeze, she grins and says, "Shade says Kelly plans on calling your boss tomorrow, maybe soften your welcome. Do you think you might be ready to go and talk to him?" Hadn't thought about doing it so soon, but I need to.

"Makes sense to get the ball rolling. I have to face him eventually and considering Mistress Kelly is taking the time to call, I really better." She nods. "I'll call tomorrow after lunch and see if I can set a meeting." I cannot imagine how that's going to go. Think positive Kara.

"Sounds splendid. You'll do fine. I don't plan on getting up too early in the morning. Do you want me to poke my head in and wake you?" Always so kind.

"Thanks, that'd be great." We hug and kiss each other on the cheek. She pops up and wiggles her fingers at me as she leaves.

** December 29th **

Lissy

"My Mother is a bacon whore!" That's how my bratty daughter greeted her husband when we got back to their home.

A startled Ian, to put it mildly, looked from Jenna to me and, after a pause, said, "Okay. That's interesting." Poor Ian was adrift in a mother-daughter ocean with no clue and no paddle.

"Where are you taking me for dinner, husband of mine?"

Chagrined, Ian's eyes flicked to me for an instant. Bad move, dear. "Pittsburgh Blue; it's supposed to be one of the area's highest rated steak houses. Mom offered to babysit so we could go out together. I mean really, Jen, we haven't had many nights alone since the baby was born. It'll be fun -- just you and me."

Jenna looked at me. Don't! I tried to make my eyes flinty. "Thanks, Mom, for this afternoon and for taking care of Ella tonight. Ian's right; even on the days he's off we don't get out much." She shook her head. "I have to make more of an effort to find babysitters." She took a few steps, squirmed against her man, and put her arms around his neck. "I think I'll go shower and slip into the new dress Mom and I found this afternoon." Ian's eyes kept flicking my way.

"The Mom was with her daughter this morning and afternoon, the Grammy will be with her Ella tonight, and the Mother-in-law will not be happy if you two come home much before midnight. Am I clear?" They both laughed.

I sat on the sofa while the two of them were getting ready for their night out. When I heard Ella I headed upstairs to her bedroom.

"Hi sweetie. Grammy gets to spend a night with her Ella Bella." Adorable flapped her fingers on outstretched arms. I did what Grammy's do -- sat in the feeding chair with Ella in my lap and made goofy noises, sang silly songs, clapped hands with her, smothered her in kisses, and blew bubbles on her tummy. A nearly breathless Ella was still giggling when I looked up to see my beautiful first born looking beautiful, gorgeously made up, and sexy as all hell in her new dress.

"Va va voom you!" I picked up Ella and walked across the room. "Look at your sexy Mommy, will ya!!" Ella tried to leap out of my arms into her mothers. Experienced Grammy kept a tight rein on her before handing her over. "Don't let her mess up your makeup, sweetie." Momma stuck her tongue out at her Momma. I laughed.

***

I kicked them out. Yeah right! Ella cried when they left. We had dinner. Ella had apple sauce, peas, and cold chicken. Grammy had a Lean Cuisine. I'm not sure who got had the tastier dinner. We played with this toy and that. I think I read 5 books -- one of them twice. We watched movies; oh my god did we watch movies. I knew Ella was falling asleep and made the deadly mistake of lying on my back with her on my chest and tummy.

"Mom, Mom, wake up." I jolted awake. The baby! Jenna had her daughter on her shoulder. It was Ian who woke me up.

"What time is it?"

"12:30." Jenna smiled. "We did what you asked. It was a wonderful night. Let me put the baby to bed. You need to get to bed too." Ian helped me to my feet as Jenna took her daughter upstairs.

"We didn't do all that much. I guess I'm out of shape when it comes to little ones." I gave Ian a kiss on the cheek. "I'm glad you had fun tonight. You'll probably be gone when I wake up in the morning." I smiled. "Goodnight sweetie."

"Goodnight Mom and thank you. This was very much, if you'll excuse the expression, what the doctor ordered."

After a soft laugh I headed upstairs. I did my bathroom stuff, headed to the guest room, closed the door, took off my clothes, and gratefully pulled the blankets over me. I don't remember falling asleep.

** December 30th **

Lissy

I slept in Monday -- meaning till 9. After I had peed and washed my face I headed to the sounds of a Mom and her baby.

"Look Ella, Grammy is awake." Squeals of joy followed. I ask you - how does a heart not melt? Little legs hurried to me.

I kissed my granddaughter squirmy. The kisses last for a blink and move like lightning from one site to the next.

"Here, Mom, have some coffee." My kid knows her Mom loves her morning java. Her eyes were doe soft. Woo hoo. My daughter and her man did some lovin' last night! Mission accomplished. She blushed; I smiled. No words were said.

I made toast. My kid had bacon in the microwave under a napkin. I made a couple eggs and had a wunnerful breakfast.

The rest of the day wasn't what you'd call noteworthy. The weather was what you'd call Minnesota wintery -- nothing to write home about. There wasn't anything that had to get done so we didn't. We entertained Ella, chatted about this and that, had lunch, chatted more, and so on and so forth.

It bugged me a little that Kara hadn't called so I wound up taking the bull by the horns and calling after lunch. It gave me pause when the call went to voice mail. I looked at my phone -- Damn! I had missed a call. I checked the time. Geez, I had the phone with me on the couch. It must... yeah, I remember when Jenna and Ian came home I found the phone on the couch where I'd been out cold, sound asleep. My butt must have muffled the ring tone. I left a message for Kara.

"Hi honey; this has been great. Jenna and Ian have been wonderful and I've had a fabulous time with Ella. I hope all is well with you and the girls. Call me back when you have a chance, okay?" I took a breath. "I miss you and I love you."

"What's the matter, Mom?"

"Probably nothing; I just thought I'd catch Kara and get a few minutes with her." I smiled. "I'm really glad I came, honey. I love your home and I've had the best time with all of you."

Jenna's eyes teared. She took a moment to compose herself before saying, "Honestly, I didn't think there was much of a chance you'd come, especially after you and Kara got back together. Part of me felt really selfish calling you Christmas morning. I was missing my guy and I called the one person I knew would understand." She shook her head. "I didn't know all that was going on in your world. Anyway, like I said, I'm glad you could come spend time with us."

"Hey! It's not like I'm leaving today, ya know. We have tomorrow and Wednesday too before I leave early Thursday morning. If you and Ian have friends you've made here that you want to spend tomorrow night with that would be fine. Just let me know."

"There are a few other teachers I'm sorta close to. Ian doesn't talk too much about friends he may have made at work, Mom. No one around here has invited us to do anything with them tomorrow." I detected some bitterness in her tone. "Even if we spend it here, it will be nice that you're here to celebrate the New Year with us."

** December 30th **

Kara

Morning came too quickly, but at least the night was dream free. I must have fallen asleep waiting for Lissy to call; the phone is still in my hand. I check for missed calls, none. Sighing as I stretch; a couple muscles creak and pop. Should I try and call? If her phone was off, it probably still is. Wish I wasn't so clingy, but I clearly feel an emptiness. Snap out of it! Get your arse up, take a shower and think about what you're going to say to Allen today. Mr. Leland, my boss. Ex-boss. Whatever!

You know those showers where you come out a new person? This was one of those. I slip on some jeans and a turquoise button down. Even though I leave it untucked it's hardly sloppy. The shirt is tailored nicely to my body and I always leave the bottom two buttons undone. Don't ask why, I decided it looks sexy. Hush you!

Attempting to open the door quietly proves impossible. Everything sounds so loud when you don't want it to be. The squeak from the hinge seems to bounce off every wall. I decide to grab a quick bite and some coffee while I collect my thoughts. Yes, Pop-Tarts! Lissy would gag. Blueberry, yum. I'm giggling as I throw them in the toaster and look for a mug. Found it - and the coffee is still warm. Shade must have left recently.