Book 02: A Match Made Ch. 05

Leaning on the counter, I enjoy my brekky and let my mind wander. In the five years I worked for the bank, Mr. Leland and I got along rather well. I'm a nose to the grindstone type of employee and when projects came up he often looked to me. In the weeks just after Lissy and I split he was quite understanding. More than he had to be for sure. He let my tardiness slide and even let me slip out early when I needed to. Needless to say, this makes me even more of ass for just up and leaving without a word. I throw a Pop-Tart into the trash and dump the rest of my coffee. My appetite is long gone. As much as this meeting is going to be difficult, I need to get it done. If nothing else I owe him an explanation. To be honest, if Kelly hadn't decided to help, I'm not sure he would agree to see me and I certainly wouldn't blame him. I hope she was received well.

Nearly ten and the condo is still quiet. She wasn't kidding about not getting up early. I glance at the phone again, still no calls. Like magic, it rings. Awe isn't that sweet, caller ID says 'Destiny's Shade'. What the hell, I pick it up. "Hi Shade, this is Kara." Who else would it be? Geez, I'm blonde.

"Good morning, Kara. Is my lover still snoozing?"

"As far as I know. I'll have her call you when she wakes."

"Sure, that's fine. Actually, it works out you answered. I have some news." She covers the phone for a moment to talk to someone else then continues. "Sorry about that. Mistress Kelly has already been busy this morning. She wants me to pass on to you that Mr. Leland is expecting your call and that it seemed to go well." She's a miracle worker.

"That's incredible. How will I ever repay her, or you and Destiny for that matter?" I let out of sigh of relief.

"Easy Kara, just get better." My eyes fill. Hold it together, Kara.

"Oh Shade, thank you. That's exactly what I intend to do."

She pauses, talking to someone else again. Her voice is hurried when she comes back to me. "It's getting busy over here. Please ask Destiny to call me." Before I could respond her voice trails off and the phone hangs up. Busy, busy. I smile at the phone and start to put it in my pocket, when it vibrates. It's a text from Shade, 'Forgot to tell ya... wake that brat up!' Cute. I'll give her a few more minutes and see if I can reach Lissy. I dial, straight to voicemail. She has her phone off? What the fuck is going on? I mean we haven't spoken since the airport. Immediately the worst filters in. She's tired of dealing with my drama. Is she second guessing us getting back together?

Stop Kara!

I would love to, but how else do you explain it? Like it or not, my mind is an evil bitch.

Thankfully, a sleepy-eyed Destiny saves me from my trip down self-destruct highway. She plops on the couch next to me and says, "What's shakin' bacon?" I shake my head, half at her and the other half kicking those terrible thoughts out of my noggin. By the way, that pretty much sums up our Monday -- the two of us on the couch and Destiny being silly. Oh wait; I did call and setup an appointment at the bank for tomorrow at one. I was only able to reach Mr. Leland's secretary and her demeanor was chilly at best. Can't say I blame her. The important thing is I have an appointment tomorrow.

Okay, I'm a blonde for sure. Another notable occurrence, I finally reached Lissy. She didn't waste any time getting to my cell phone dilemma, since her first question was 'Did you get my voicemail?' I fessed up and told her I broke my phone, though I may have left out exactly how. She didn't press and I wasn't going to offer. Instead we spent ten solid minutes catching up and ending with our usual huggy, kissy bits. Overall, I'd say it was just what I needed. In fact, for once in a long while, I slept like a baby.

** December 30th **

Lissy

I did the best I could to push away my concerns about Kara not calling. The wait ended late Monday afternoon.

"Hi baby!" I blinked away tears furiously and tried to put an easy smile in my voice.

"Hey blondie - how's my girl?"

"I'm doing swell." Oh no you're not. She doesn't talk like that Um, you're probably wondering why I'm calling on Destiny's phone." I nodded my head in agreement. "Mine kinda broke so I asked Destiny if I could borrow hers."

"That's an interesting way to put it. Exactly what happened?"

After a pause, Kara said, her voice tinny and small, "I threw it against the wall." I think I heard her swallow a sob; it took another minute before she said, "I miss you; I got frustrated with myself... and you and did something stupid."

I waited for a bit but Kara didn't have anything else to add. "Okay, enough about the phone. How are things otherwise?"

The silence that followed was anything but golden. Finally Kara said, "Something's wrong with me, Lissy, and I don't understand it. One minute I'm fine and the next I'm either in a near panic or my mind's eye is taking me back... there." I felt myself get chills. She didn't have to spell out what 'there' meant. I could feel my eyes tear with worry.

I had no idea what to do from so far away. Add to that the fact I wasn't due to get back home until Thursday morning. I tried my best to put on a brave front for a woman I thought needed it.

"Things are really good here, lover. Jenna and I went shopping Sunday and went to a movie. I sent them out for a night of carousing and baby sat for my granddaughter." Kara giggled when I said carousing. "I know!! Jenna's eyes Monday morning told me all I needed to know!"

"Lissy, for all I didn't want you to go, I'm so glad you did. It sounds like you are having the bestest time with your kid and her kid." There was a short pause before she said, "You do miss me, right?" What's wrong with you, Kara?

Fighting to suppress my frustration, I said, "Blondie, please! You have to know I do. I miss giving you a kiss before we fall asleep and you molesting me when we wake up." She giggled; I could see her blushing. "It's not that long of a trip and we'll be doing those things we do... and god almighty I miss those things." We both laughed.

"I won't even bother telling you that I don't miss you, sugar lips." I rolled my eyes. "I have a surprise for you, Lissy, but I'm going to wait a day before I tell you what it is and what happened." You are a little shit, you little shit.

"So do you and the others have plans for tomorrow night?" Silence filled the late afternoon.

"Geez, it's odd you asked. Neither Destiny nor Shade has said a word about New Years Eve. And to tell you the truth, I've been missing you too much to give it much thought."

I sorta, kinda knew what she was going to ask so I jumped in and said, "I'll have to ask Jenna at dinner if they have plans. I kinda doubt it from what she said this morning when we talked a little about what was going on here for them."

Kara put an end to the call when she said, "Lissy, I should go. Destiny knocked on the door and is calling me to dinner, which means Shade must be home. Now that I think about it, do you have anything you want me to tell either of them?"

I giggled. "Tell them my New Years wish is you, naked, screaming my name, all day, every day, in 2014." I heard her gasp.

"You evil wench, I love you all to hell. I had a full body shiver when you said that. Kitty... oh dear god, kitty is... oh fuck me." If you insist, lover!! "That was goddamn evil of you to do." I know!

My voice soft and sultry, I said, "You have a delicious night, blondie; I know I will." I closed the phone and laughed. I am so going to pay for that when I do get home. But more than anything, I hope it knocks some of whatever the hell is going on with Kara out of her.

Dinner went on without incident. Ian, as it turned out, doesn't get home till later. I spent time in my room to give the family time together. Jenna brought Ella to me before she put her daughter down for the night. I let my eyes tell her there would be no discussion about the phone call she knew had happened. Thankfully, my kid picked up and followed my cue.

"Everything okay in Chi-town, Mom?"

I smiled and said, "Yeah, pretty much so. There will be some stones in the road ahead but we'll make it work."

My kid, reading my bullshit meter, smiled, just like I suspected she would.

"Well, I hope to hell it works out, Mom, and bullshit me as much as you want, I know you do too."

I'm shaking my head. Damn that kid of mine! Exactly when did she learn when to push just the right button at exactly the wrong time? UGH! She held me as I cried -- again. This was getting boring!!!!

"I know, Jenna -- me too."

I know, I know -- this is hardly the time to tell her everything I fear. Course, she may already know from what we've shared. Here's the thing I haven't had the guts to tell anyone -- I'm scared down to the deepest part of me that this thing we have may not survive whatever we have to go through to get back to... 'us.'

Not wanting to share that with my daughter I got up and left. I fell on the bed and cried. They were not happy tears.

** December 31st **

Lissy

I woke with a start. I groaned when I looked and saw the time. I knew almost at once that my sleep was neither deep nor restful and I knew why -- no late night call from Kara. I was worried about the way she acted during our call. She was 'safe' with Destiny and Shade. Wait a minute... that's not Kara's phone. Destiny's name is on the caller ID. Oh yeah, she told me she'd broken her phone. That's why caller ID showed Destiny's name. Wait a minute; if something was wrong and Destiny was calling she'd have left a message. That much I was certain of. I sighed and tried to relax.

I took the phone with me when I headed to the bathroom. As I washed my hands after peeing I looked in the mirror. UGH! Red eyes with dark, ugly circles stared back at me. You're not a pretty sight, Lissy. I shook my head and left.

I'm not the biggest fan of trite but this is what 'horns of a dilemma' means. I wanted to call and make sure everything was okay and I didn't know how early everyone gets up in the condo. Add in the fact it was December 31st so I had no idea if Shade was even going to go in the office. They both may well be sleeping in. Call me, Kara, dammit, call me.

The first thing I saw when I went into the kitchen was that coffee had been made. Yikes, Ian, you sure are up and out early! I poured a cup and sat down at the table.

Just that fast I made a decision -- I had to go home. Sure I missed my honey but there was more to it than that. She wasn't happy that I'd come; that was clear as a bell when we had talked. I knew Destiny wouldn't hold anything back when it came to Kara -- above and beyond her concern, she and Kara had become very close very, very quickly. Add in the notion that with all the sweetness came some steel. I headed upstairs to begin packing. I saved all my toiletries and cosmetics for last -- I'd put on my face after my shower, which would come after Jenna and the baby woke up.

** December 31st **

Kara

Destiny rides shotgun as we cruise over to my condo. I need to be in and out; my appointment is in less than two hours. We chat about my impending doom. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous."

"Well, duh." Smart ass. She smirks.

"If I had a chance to speak to him, maybe I'd be able to gauge his mood. As it was, his secretary just said he asked her to set the appointment if I called. Do you think that's a good or a bad sign?" Am I over thinking this?

"Kara, you're over thinking this. The fact that he's agreed to see you is an exceptional sign if you ask me. And in fact, you did." We both laugh. She's a nut.

"Yeah, I know. I just don't wanna mess this up after all the trouble everyone has gone through." I shrug and get quiet. Destiny lets it be. Well, for a minute or two anyways.

"Did you ever hear from Lissy?" I shake my head, visibly bothered. "Here, let me try her now." She dials. After what I assume is Lissy's voicemail, she says; "Hi Lissy, it's Destiny. Not sure if you recognized my number, but your lady is trying to reach you. Everything is fine, she just misses you. Give us a call on my phone when you get this message. Bye!" She looks over, obviously proud of herself. "So missy, let's talk about your phone." Of course.

"I just... I don't know. I feel fine one minute and then anger, frustration... it comes from nowhere. I never used to be like that, it's been since... well, you know." Her eyes are focused on me intently.

"I've never been addicted to a drug like that before, but I can imagine it comes with its share of side effects. From how Kelly sounded, the one you took isn't to be taken lightly. There are bound to be things you can't explain or understand. Don't beat yourself up. Just get the help you need." Her words make a lot of sense. The fact is, beyond knowing how I felt when I took them, I really have no idea of the effects after you stop. I do know my paranoia is a factor, along with the anger and insecurity. Not to mention, the physical withdrawal symptoms.

"I hate hospitals Destiny. I mean hate, hate. Also, when I let myself think of being separated from Lissy..." My hands instantly begin to shake. What the hell?

Her hand rubs up and down my arm, "I know honey, I know. Maybe there is an outpatient option. Don't get worked up yet. Let's get all the info first." She squeezes and asks, "Okay?" I nod, fighting back the tears. This is probably not good driving conversation. I turn up the radio and let us ride in silence the rest of the way.

Getting off the elevator is almost as difficult as getting on had been. There's a reason I don't come back here. It's wrapped in a shroud of despair. "Kara? It's okay. I'm here with you." I just nod and begin taking steps towards the door. As you might have guessed, several notices are taped to the outside; a couple of which are on red or yellow paper - that's never good. I rip them down and shove them in my purse. If I wasn't so fixed on what lies on the other side of this door, I might have had the presence of mind to be embarrassed. The key turns in the lock, at least that still works, and I push it open. The staleness rushes out. There is an eeriness, a silence. My mind is sending the 'walk' message to my legs but there's no response.

The last time I was here, I ... I don't want to think about it. Lissy had come to me and I still lost my way. It seems like a different time, another person even. Destiny places her hand on the small of my back, an unspoken urging. Okay, come on legs. We walk in and all is the way I left it. You can tell it was in a hurry. The sofa pillows are on the floor, there are empty glasses on the table and my jacket is lying on the chair. Mindlessly I start to straighten up. Destiny follows suit. I mean what else is she going to do? I'm sure it's awkward.

"Kara?" I look up, placing a pillow at the corner of the sofa. She smiles and says, "Let me do this. Go get dressed." I glance at my watch. Damn it, she's right. What am I doing?

"Thanks, I guess I got a bit distracted. I'll only be a minute." Turning, I leave her to it. The bedroom is in the same disheveled state. Don't look at it, get dressed. What's in my closet is a hodgepodge of this and that. Barb had taken most of my clothes to her place when she came to get my things. I fish around and find a navy pencil skirt. Shit, all that's left are some tanks and a couple t-shirts. Why didn't I think to go to Barb's instead? My stomach clenches. I know exactly why... things are still, well, I don't know what they are between us.

Destiny walks in and asks, "Any luck?" Shocking; she actually didn't startle me this time.

I sigh, "Not exactly. I had forgotten most of my stuff is still at Barb's. All I could find was a skirt. It's already 12:15, no time to go shopping. Damn it." Destiny squints her eyes in thought.

"I got it!" Before I could ask, she takes off her blouse. It's a simple white button down. After handing it to me as she walks past, a topless Destiny starts rummaging through the closet. Yes, I looked. Shut up! Having found an off-white tank, she turns and blushes. "Ummm... mind if I borrow a shirt?" We laugh.

We both commence to undressing and dressing. There may have been some peeking; I'm not telling. Done! I look in the full length mirror and hand comb my hair as I assess the outfit. "Nice work Destiny." She winks at me as I look at her in the mirror.

After all was said and done we arrive at my office with a few minutes to spare. Sitting in the parking garage, my palms are sweating. It's show time. Glancing over at Destiny, I say, "Staying here, or do you want to wait in the lobby?"

"Actually, I think I'll grab a coffee. I saw there was a Starbucks on the first floor."

"Great idea, I'll walk you there and then head up." I give her a 'let's go' signal as I open the car door. The street is busy and we wade through to the front door.

"Okay kiddo, good luck." She pats her jacket pockets and says, "Oh! I need my phone." No inkling why but I didn't want to give it to her. Maybe it feels a bit like a lifeline to Lissy. I grimace and hand it over. "You okay? I'll let you use it again. I just want it while I'm waiting." Geez I'm pathetic. If I can't deal with a phone, how am I going to deal with this meeting? I force a smile. She adds, "Do you want me to walk you up?" Shake it off, Kara.

"Nope, I got this! Be back soon, chickadee!" Fake it 'til you make it! I open the door without looking back and ride this temporary confidence to the elevator. As soon as I step in, my mind begins racing. People are getting on and off as I take it to the eighth floor. Ding! Okay Kara, walk. Seems simple enough. I make my way to his secretary's desk and wait for her to acknowledge me.

The desk is multi-tier, black onyx and sits in front of a paneled wall adorned with the bank's logo. Janie is busy on the phone and glances up as I approach. She signals for me to give her a moment. Good, I need time to get my heart rate under control. It's difficult to hold still; my tendency is to pace. I pretend to walk along the back wall, looking at the framed photographs of the founder, past presidents and the like. I've been up here dozens of times and never really noticed them.

"Kara!" Her voice is excited as she scurries around the desk and practically trots over. She pulls me into a huge hug. Umm, okay. I guess I did drop off the face of the earth. Leaning back but keeping her arms around me she says, "I was so happy to hear from you." That's funny; she seemed nonchalant when I called early. Maybe she was busy? Just smile and shut-up Kara. I do and she responds with her own and another hug. This time she holds on for several moments. Truth be told, it made me uncomfortable. 'Touch' has a new meaning since Veronica. I shiver at the thought and Janie lets go, unsure what's wrong.

I recover quickly. "It's great to see you too. I've missed you." Nice cover-up. Her smile says she thinks so too. I giggle - on the inside.

"I'll tell Allen you're here."

"Thanks." She returns to her desk, picks up the phone and turns her back. I can't make out what she says. I'm sure that was the point. Seconds later, his door swings open and he appears -- looking just as I remembered him. Forgive the cliché; he's the epitome of talk, dark and handsome. He exudes confidence and professionalism. Now that I think of it, it's no surprise he and Kelly know each other.

"Hello, Miss Thornton. Come in, please." Well that was formal, not a good start. I hold my hands together to conceal the trembling. He motions to one of the leather wingback chairs across from his desk. I sit and cross my legs. Hold it together Kara. Even sitting, he towers over me. He stares down at me, forehead creased and lips thin. "I was surprised when I received a call from one of the bank's most important customers this morning. She told me a former employee, you, would be contacting me for a meeting. I suggested she was mistaken. I haven't heard from said employee since she walked out of this office weeks ago without a trace or word one." His voice never wavers. "She wouldn't give me particulars, but asked me, as a personal favor, to take the meeting." My chin buckles but I don't cry. "Make no mistake Miss Thornton, that is the only reason you are sitting here."