Finding Our Real Selves

He grabbed her from behind in a hug, eliciting a little jolt of surprise from her as he nuzzled her shoulder. "Hiiii," he grinned at her.

"Okay, guys, you're cute but c'mon with the PDA, I'm single here, have mercy." Stephanie gave them an exasperated look.

"Let it not be said that I have no mercy," Britt chuckled, slipping a finger under the choker she'd given Sam for his birthday and gently pulling him away to stand next to her. "Isn't that right, pet?" she asked once she'd dragged him around to stand beside her.

"Of course," Sam lied with a smile.

Britt gave him a pat on the head and continued her conversation with Stephanie about music and movies. Sam chimed in a total of once, he was mostly just content to hang out and listen.

Stephanie took off a few minutes early, her class was on the other side of the school. "Naughty boy, surprising me like that," Britt chided him, pretending to be cross. Sam just giggled and smiled at her. He paused for a sec as he looked at her straight on. Her... tits were gone.

"Sir... where are your... uhh, your chest?"

Britt blurted out laughing. "Wow, pet. Took you long enough."

Sam honestly had no idea what was happening.

"I'm trying a binder out today. Like it?"

"So it like... squishes your boobs down?"

"Yeah. I don't really like the way they look on me, you know that."

Sam did know that, she'd mentioned it a few times. As he thought about it, weighing how much he liked boobs against how Britt actually looked really confident and masculine right now, it was a tough call. "Well, you look good either way, Sir," he said, finally. Sam had steadily grown more comfortable with Britt's masculinity over the past two months they'd been together. It made her happy, suited her, and he'd kind of slowly slid into the idea that he wasn't exactly straight and that was fine. Of course he knew he wasn't about to go out and let some strange guys fuck him, but that was what he ~used~ to think it meant to not be straight.

"I've got class to get to, but I did want to tell you that you're coming over to my house for dinner."

"Won't... your Mom be there?"

"Yeah. She found out why I got suspended. Cat's out of the bag, she wants to meet you."

"Will that be a problem?"

"Probably not? Just put a pin in the Sir."

"So I can... call you by name?" Sam had been expertly avoiding calling Britt anything other than 'she' and 'her' around her friends. Britt hadn't actually told him not to call her Sir around them but he hadn't been eager to have that conversation with them, he barely even knew them. Britt, of course, had no reservations about using any of her fondest pet names for him around them, and they hadn't noticed, or hadn't said anything, at least.

"Tell you what. You can do it exactly three times over the course of the night. Make them count."

"But, Sir that..." Britt raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to complain more. He didn't. Instead. he gave her a goofy smile and scampered off to class.

****

Sam had felt fine all day, but now that he was staring at Britt's house, he was nervous. Maybe he screwed this up? Embarrassed Britt. Made problems for her with her mom. He wasn't really afraid of the two of them breaking up, that seemed pretty unlikely at this point, but, disappointing her was a concern.

Despite all that, he knocked on the door, being late would just make it worse. Britt answered. Beamed at him, and dragged him into a kiss by slipping a finger under his choker. She'd been extremely fond of doing that ever since she bought it for him.

The kiss was quick and fairly chaste. "Come in, meet Mom." she instructed, turning and going back into the house. Sam followed her through a few narrow hallways to a cozy living/dining room where the table was being set by someone who could only be Britt's mom.

Sam wasn't sure what he'd expected, but, Britt's mom kind of had a similar face shape, but she had longer hair in a ponytail, nice nails, and she was wearing a dress and makeup. He didn't really expect her to just look like an older version of Britt, but he also wasn't expecting to see an older bizarro-world version of her.

"Hi there! You must be Sam." Britt's mom walked over and immediately ensnared him with a hug. It actually totally caught Sam off-guard, Britt wasn't really unaffectionate, but he had to put a bit of work into coaxing hugs out of her. "Call me Margaret," She gave a him a warm smile.

"Umm, Hi... Britt hasn't told me much..."

"Oh that's fine I just about had to pry your name out of her mouth, that's just our Brittney isn't it?" Sam definitely noticed Britt's eye twitch at the use of her full name.

"Britt's great, I'm lucky," Sam beamed, not sure how else to deflect the conversation off of the 'let's gang up on Britt' track.

Dinner went smoothly, as far as Sam could tell. Margaret spent most of the night asking him about his grades, his plans, his family, his hobbies. Britt was actually mostly quiet, apparently grateful that Sam was there to engage her mom so that she didn't have to do it herself.

"So Sam, are you transgender too, then?" Margaret asked.

Britt spit out a little bit of her water. "Mom!"

"Britt... Britt and I aren't... uhh..." Sam was at a loss for words. He'd basically known Britt was... something along those lines for a while now. It was just not really something they'd discussed. Not directly.

"What? Isn't he? Or is it she?" Margaret seemed to not understand what had gone wrong.

"Sam, go to my room for a bit. I need a word with my mother."

Sam only hesitated for a split second. He was ~not~ upsetting Britt right now. He went into Britt's room, band posters covering nearly every square inch of it, and closed the door behind him. He heard talking, he couldn't make out words, but Britt was angry. It capped off with a brief period of yelling, followed by footsteps, and then, a few minutes later, the front door slammed.

Immediately afterwards, Britt opened the door to her room, walked in, and sat down on her desk chair, directly across from where Sam was sitting on the bed.

"How are you feeling, Sir?" Sam asked. He'd been thinking about what to say the whole time. His initial instinct had been 'is everything alright?' but he had realized that was a dumb question, it clearly wasn't.

"Frustrated. Mom means well but it's like she cant even function unless she's assigning neat little labels on everybody and putting them into their proper corner. I came out to her and instead of trying to force me to be what she thinks a girl should be now she's trying to force me to be what she thinks a transgender person should be." Britt huffed, crossing her arms across her chest.

Sam didn't say anything, just listened and tried to look cute.

"I'm gonna be starting hormones next week. I wanted to tell you but I wanted to wait until I actually started. It felt like If I told you I'd jinx it, you know?"

Britt sighed and tapped her fingers on her knee, thinking. Slowly, her eyes went from staring past Sam, to looking at him, sizing him up, and an evil grin slowly spread across her lips. "Silver lining, though... She went and stormed out to go to her night shift. She totally just gave you and I the house for the night, pet."

"I mean, Sir, if you're feeling up for-"

Britt burst out laughing "Oh, no no no no no pet." She stood up menacingly, a wicked look on her face. "Besides, you have something to answer for."

"I... do?"

"I told you very clearly, little one. Three times. How many times did you use my name?"

"I only..." Shit. "I... I used it four times, Sir..." Sam admitted, defeated.

"Indeed you did. Pants off, spread your legs and keep eye contact even when I'm not looking back. Understand?" Britt didnt look upset or gleeful anymore, her expression was calm. Prepared.

Sam did as Britt asked while she dug around in her closet for a bit. She found whatever it was she wanted and emerged holding a small thin piece of metal. He got a closer look when she circled back around to the foot of the bed. It was one of those telescopic antennae from an old radio or something. Where'd she even gotten that from? Britt extended the antenna to its full two foot length, and tapped it against her leg menacingly.

"Skooch forward, pet. Keep your legs open and don't move. I'm not trying to hit your genitals with this but if I miss because you cant keep still you'll have only yourself to blame."

Sam swallowed audibly and nodded. Britt laid the cold metal across Sam's inner thigh and tapped it gently, and then swung it back and fourth lightly, testing her angle. After a few test swings, Britt paused, her makeshift cane drawn back. The antenna whistled through the air with a high pitched 'fsssh" The soft slap as it hit Sam's thigh was kind of anticlimactic, but the pain wasn't. The pain was sharp, focused, a bright line across his inner thigh just two inches away from his cock. Sam recoiled and winced, lowering his head. Britt didn't say anything, she gently lifted his chin back up until he was looking back at her, and then circled around him to his right. As the sting faded, Sam contemplated that the pain actually hadn't been that bad, it was more shocking than anything else.

Britt repeated the process with his right side, aiming, testing. 'fsssh' the cane whistled, drawing a bright red line across his unmarked thigh. Sam stifled a grunt, but kept eye contact with Britt as he'd been told. "ooooh, so pretty..." Britt giggled, gently running a hand across the budding welt on his left thigh. "You're already marking so nicely for me."

She continued circling him, making him swing his head around to keep her in view. Back at his left, she again drew the cane back. Sam braced himself, ready for another lash.

'fsssh'

'Ah!" Sam cried out, Britt had laid down another hit on ~exactly~ the same spot as she had before. He looked at her quizzically. It was... a mistake, right? Britt looked back at him with only the faintest grin on her face, no sign of an 'oops' or 'my bad' She had most definitely done it on purpose. Again, she circled around him. 'fsssh'. 'Slap'. Again, she'd struck the same spot on his right side. Sam took a deep breath, and looked at Britt pleadingly.

'fsssh' 'fsssh' 'fsssh'

At the fourth swing into the now very red and very sore spot on Sam's thigh, he let out a wail of pain, and closed his thighs, lowering his head into his knees and sobbing. Every stroke hurt worse than the last, it was too much. In the corner of his mind, he realized she'd be angry, maybe punish him worse, but he hadn't been able to help himself.

Contrary to that thought, Britt didn't say a word. Once again, she just gently put her hand beneath his chin and raised his face to hers. His eyes were tearing now, he was whimpering and sobbing on the verge of tears. Once he was looking at her again, she placed her hand between his knees, and pushed. She wasn't forceful, she wasn't even pushing hard enough to move his legs on her own, but the message was clear. Reluctantly, he opened his legs, and slowly moved them back into position. Britt gave him a small encouraging smile, and moved herself back into position as well.

'fsssh' 'fsssh' 'fsssh'

The Dam burst, Sam started crying. What had he done wrong with Britt? He'd always messed everything up, his grades, his friends, his life, but Britt was the one good thing and now... now he'd ruined it. He felt himself being pulled into a dark spiral. He couldn't... he couldn't take it...

"Open your eyes and look at me, little one," Britt's voice wasn't angry, or disappointed. It was calm, authoritative. He did as he was told, trying to look at her straight through teared and blurry eyes.

"You're doing so well for me dear, but we're not done yet. Just two more, okay? Can you do that for me?"

Just... two? For her...? Sam sniffled and gave a tiny little nod, it was all he could manage.

"Good boy." she gave him a kiss on the forehead, and stood back up.

'Fsssh' 'Fsssh'

As the last stroke hit, Sam wailed again, falling over and curling up into a ball on the bed. Britt immediately sat down on the bed next to him, stroking his hair gently and whispering calmingly to him as he cried.

"Pet, I need you to know that the punishment is over now. Whatever you felt just then, I want you to let it go. You're not allowed to punish yourself, only I get to do that."

Not allowed... to punish myself...? With a deep sigh, Sam let it go, he felt his burden of self-loathing lighten, as if the pain had wrenched it out of him.

Britt gently pushed him onto his back, and he felt himself relax, still breathing ragged, eyes closed, and forehead covered in sweat. The two lines Britt had carved into his thighs throbbed and burned, he knew there'd be a massive welt there in the coming days.

"Eek!" Sam squeaked as Britt closed her hand around his cock and started rubbing it.

Britt chuckled, "Calm down, pet, just relax..." The sensation was... alien. As though his body wasn't ready to accept any pleasure just yet. Impatient with his reluctant cock, Britt slipped a finger into his ass, making a beeline for his prostate. "Cum for me, kitten..." Britt whispered into his ear, not making him beg or jump through hoops, for once.

He didn't last long, his orgasm, sliding out of him like Britt was dragging it along, instead of forcefully hammering it out of him with her cock. He squirmed and writhed on the bed as it washed over him, barely having the strength to do even that. As his high ebbed away, Sam felt himself slipping away into unconsciousness as Britt stroked his hair.

--

"Uhh, hey Britt, isn't that your boyfriend?" Britt's friend Yasmine asked.

"Where?" he asked. If Sam had entered the cafeteria he would probably have beelined for him.

"Over there, talking to... whats her name? Trish? Trina? One of the preppy cheerleader girls."

Britt looked towards where Yasmine was pointing, and saw that Sam was indeed talking to... whatever her name was. Poor thing, the girl almost had him pinned down in a corner, and was being super flirty with him, touching his arm, playing with her hair. It was almost certainly just some asshole kids who thought it'd be funny to start shit between him and Sam. They actually thought that because this girl was 'prettier' than Britt that Sam would drool over her.

"Yeah, it is," Britt chuckled, "Let's watch, should be fun."

"You don't think you should... like, stop him?"

"Stop who? Sam?"

"Yeah he's flirting with some chick, Britt. Don't you see that?"

"Nah she's just trying to start shit. He won't fall for it."

Sam continued squirming for several minutes before he finally managed to ditch the girl, and speed walked off towards Britt and company's table, staring at the ground, beet red.

"Well hello there, kitten. Have any interesting conversations with pretty girls on your way here?"

Sam's head snapped up, alarmed. "Sir, I..." he saw the playful expression on his face and stopped.

"I'll deal with it later, pet, come sit with us." Britt pulled out a chair next to him.

"You've got your boyfriend calling you 'Sir', Britt? Damn what do i have to do to get ~you~ to be so well behaved?", Yasmine asked, elbowing her boyfriend Mark in the ribs.

Mark looked back at her and opened his mouth to comment but then stopped. Apparently he'd thought better of whatever it was he wanted to say.

"Call it a trade secret," Britt said, placing a hand on Sam's inner thigh. Sam winced, the welts he'd left him there on Wednesday had most certainly not healed yet, and the fact that Britt slapped and poked them whenever he got a chance probably wasn't helping them heal.

"Oh that reminds me! Mark, tell them about the thing," Yasmine elbowed him in the ribs again.

"Oh, uhh, my folks are out of town for like two days at some kind of trade show. I'm not throwing a party but if you guys wanna hang out we can."

"Watch the four of you make out all night? No thanks. If I find a boyfriend before then I'll let you know." Stephanie grumbled.

Sam looked over at Britt for an answer. "We have plans tonight. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Sure, just let us know if you change your minds."

Lunch hour dragged on, and as it hit the point of five minutes left where people were leaving to get ready for class, Britt spotted Tr... whatever her name was. Preppy Bitch. Hanging out with her friends at a table across the room.

"Run along to class now, pet. I'll see you after school," she instructed him, giving his thigh one last painful squeeze.

"I-ahhhh...!! 'll seeee! Youuuu siirrr" Sam warbled. Britt noticed that Sam either hadn't noticed he was calling Britt sir in front of his friends or he'd just admitted defeat.

Britt leaned over, grabbing Sam by his hair and pulling him into a rough kiss, sticking his tongue into Sam's eager receptive mouth. Sam moaned and squirmed, wrapping his arms around Britt's neck The little bitch wouldn't admit it but the pain definitely got him going.

Britt pulled back and gave Sam a light slap on the cheek as he stood up and gathered his things. Sam just sat there flustered, probably not wanting to stand up with a boner.

Britt made his way across the emptying cafeteria towards Preppy bitch's table. The four of them seated there turned towards him as he approached, each with the same stuck up distasteful look on their faces.

"Hey, Trish," Britt called.

"Tammy," she corrected, glaring at him.

"Yeah, whatever. Look dear, Sam is like the nicest boy in the world so he'd never have the heart to tell you he'd never sleep with you in a million years, but I'm a cunt so I'll happily tell you. Stop wasting my boyfriend's time, it takes away from my personal time with his sweet butt, okay?"

Tammy's eyes went so wide Britt was sure they'd pop out of her head, and the rest of her friends started giggling. Britt didnt wait for a proper response before she left for her own classes, grinning to himself. Life was grand.

*****

Britt snaked his hands around Sam's chest right after the two of them kicked their shoes off in the entry hall to his house. He nipped at Sam's neck rather hard, drawing a squeal from him.

"Sam? What are you..." it was a womans's voice that Britt didnt recognize, and he felt Sam go tense in his arms.

He looked up, it was Sam's mom, home for some reason.

"Uhhh... mom I..." Sam mumbled. Britt felt him shaking in fear.

"This is how I find out you're gay, Sam? I catch you making out with some boy in my house?" She wasn't yelling yet but Britt could tell she was working up to it.

Britt couldn't help but feel a slight thrill that she'd gendered him correctly. He considered telling her that he was a female but decided against it, doing so wouldn't make the real problem go away.

"Hi there, Mrs. Smith. Nice to meet you, I'm Britt." Britt extracted himself from Sam and extended his hand towards his mom.

She glared at him. "I am talking to my son, you get out of my house."

"Woah, calm down. You're scaring Sam. Lets talk about this."

"Do NOT talk to me as though you know my son!" The yelling started.

"Mom what's going OH- uhh, Hey Britt." Fran stood halfway down the stairs to her suite.

Mrs.Smith whirled around on Fran. "YOU knew about this and didn't tell me?"

"Of course I didn't, Mom, and its no mystery why Sam didn't tell you either, how the fuck is he gonna come out to you when he knows this is how you'll react?"

"He's my son I have a right to know!"

"No!" Britt jumped a little, not expecting Sam to start yelling. "I don't belong to you or to dad!" He had tears in his eyes, his fists clenched. Clearly he'd used all his courage to do that.

Britt walked over to him and placed his hand on Sam's shoulder. He was trembling.

"I am not discussing this while he is in my house uninvited. Get out." Mrs.Smith growled, pointing to the door.