Guilt and Lust

"Yes, yes I am," I said nervously looking at the ring that was now half way across the floor. "If Sarina ever tried to seduce a man and use me to...no, that won't happen."

"Men!" Kim snorted, laughing once more, only this time I didn't see the humor. What I did see was the threat of the gold ring. It hadn't moved since I spotted it closer, but it would. In time it would.

"She or it," I sighed. "We need to do something before it's too late. I'll grab the ring and you run for the necklace. If you're smart you grab it and go, but if you don't, know that I'll do everything I can to help you and the El-Kordai. It won't be much, but it will be everything I have."

"I know it will." Her tone was serious this time. Kim reached us and caressed my cheek once more. I leaned into it, but only momentarily.

"Ready?" It was almost a rhetorical question. That's why I was surprised by Kim's response.

"No," she said, throwing open my bedroom door and pushing me inside. She followed and shut the door behind her. I was certain that wouldn't stop Sarina for long and was going to say so, but instead I lost track of the words. Who was I kidding? I lost track of everything except Kim as she kissed me.

"That was...amazing," Kim said gently as she finally pulled away from me. She saw my pained expression and smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, but you're the first person I've ever felt so strongly for. I've known plenty of men in my life, but none of them fought half as hard as you do to do the right thing. My father never did. Truth be told, neither did my mother. You are special. You are special to me."

"You're special to me too." I was sure that this was as close as I'd ever come to saying what I really felt. It was sad really.

"I've kissed other men," Kim continued. "But none since my aunt died and none with something that feels so real despite the insanity of it." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It was so odd to be on the same wave link as a woman who had basically sworn to kill me.

"I feel the same way." It was all I could offer.

"I know," she sighed. "Ain't life a bitch?"

"And then some!" I snorted, and once again we were laughing. Kim came into my arms somewhere in the middle and suddenly we were hugging. We continued to laugh, but I could feel her tears against my chest. My own eyes were misting up as well. Okay, maybe a bit more than just misting.

"Thanks, I needed that." Kim pulled away from me reluctantly when she was once more in control.

"Me too. I wish we could stay in here forever."

"Who says we can't?" she asked defiantly, but I could tell she knew better.

"We're only putting off the inevitable." My chest hurt, but in a way I'd never felt before. I had a feeling I knew what it was, a broken heart. I'd never been close enough to a woman to feel this before. The moment was bittersweet, but at least it was real, or as real as I was ever going to get.

"Is that so bad? Why shouldn't we put it off?"

"That's what I've been saying!" I cried in frustration. "I've been trying to get you to take the necklace and leave for over an hour."

"I can't do that, and you know why." There was still no bend in Kim. Her decision was made. "The El-Kordai will only grow weaker as time goes by. Plus, there's no guarantee I'll be able to find you again, even if the succubus doesn't finally break you."

"Yeah, that," I sighed.

"But that doesn't mean we can't steal a few hours here and now." She smiled as she added, "God knows, I'll never meet another man broken enough to understand me." I smirked and shook my head.

"What do you have in mind?" Okay, so my thoughts weren't the purest in the world, but the idea of sleeping with Kim enticed me in ways no other woman ever had, and I'd slept with plenty of them ever since Sarina came into my life. Sure, I'd been able to hold her off for a year this last time, but I wasn't always so good at keeping her at bay.

"We can't," Kim said, knowing where my thoughts were. She saw my expression and quickly added, "Not because I don't want to, but because the succubus will be able to interject herself between us more easily if we do. It's where her power lies."

"There is that." I shook my head at the craziness of it all. "So, if we don't sleep together, what do you want to do?"

"I didn't say we couldn't sleep together," she teased. "We just can't have sex." Kim was smiling, but it suddenly hit me that I wanted what she was offering like nothing I ever had before.

"I'd like that." I let myself smile in return, refusing to dwell on the succubus and what was to come. "I've never held a woman in my arms while she slept." Kim's smiled gentled as she looked at me.

"I can't promise that, but I wouldn't mind taking some time to cuddle someone I care for and who cares for me." Truthfully, I wasn't expecting her to actually agree to get in bed with me.

"You'd trust me enough to actually lay down with me?" I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was just the same. Kim tilted her head as she looked at me.

"I'd trust you with far more than that." Her words caused a warm glow deep inside of me. "It's the succubus I don't trust."

I didn't bother responding. Instead, I moved to my bed and got in. Kim came more slowly, but she did come. I lay on my back and she snuggled into my shoulder. I played with her hair for a time.

"It's too bad this isn't real," I sighed a few minutes later.

"It's as real as we want it to be." Kim's voice was far softer than usual. Still, it wasn't until I heard her gentle snores a few moments later that I realized that she had actually fallen asleep in my arms. It was crazy. It was ridiculous, but like she said, what we shared was as real as we wanted it to be. Kim clearly wanted it to be as real as possible. I wanted it even more than that. I kissed the top of her head.

"Kim," I whispered gently. "I love you. I know it doesn't make sense, but I do, and I will for as long as humanly possible. Thank you for giving me today. It means the world to me." Her only response was to burrow her head deeper into my shoulder. I smiled down at her and felt myself drift.

I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep as well until I felt Kim shift on the bed. My brain was very groggy, but it cleared quickly enough when I felt her pulling my stiffness out from my sweats. I was already hard which meant she'd been busy prior to my waking up. I felt her mouth slip down my length and was in heaven, but only for a moment before reality struck.

"No!" I cried, pushing Kim away from me. Only, it wasn't Kim. As soon as I saw her eyes, I knew the truth. I glanced down at her hand and saw the small gold band. "Sarina."

"Hello handsome," she grinned. "Someone has been a bad boy!" She tried to take me back into her mouth, but I was having none of it. Kim had trusted me. I would not let that be the death of her.

The only problem was that now that I was fully awake and knew that Sarina was in control of Kim, the succubus let its power burst free. It washed over me and I grunted in need. My hand was already reaching for Sarina when I reasserted enough control to redirect it to her hand. I tried to pull the ring off of Kim's hand, but it was impossible.

I fought to free the golden band for a few more moments before giving up, but that didn't mean I was done fighting. I rolled off the bed and landed on the floor badly. I scrambled toward the bedroom door, half crab crawling and the rest of the time pulling myself forward with my fingers and nails. The entire time I was drowning in lust and need.

"Where are you going lover boy?" Sarina asked with a cold grin. I knew she was playing with me, but it got me closer to my goal so I accepted her taunting, ignoring it as best I could.

It took three times before I was finally able to get the bedroom door unlocked and open. That's when Sarina redoubled her efforts. My eyes were filmed over in a blood red tinge and my muscles were jerking uncontrollably, but still I pushed on.

I promised Kim I'd keep her safe while she was in my bed with me. Maybe I hadn't said the words, but it was inferred. She taken a stupid risk because she cared for me far more than she should, and I let her because I loved her. I would not let that be our epitaph, our epitaph.

"Come back here right now!" I could tell from her tone that the games and taunting were over. I was holding against her power far more than I ever had before. Sarina hadn't expected that. I moved forward as best I could under the deluge of her power. She didn't understand what Kim meant to me, or maybe she did.

"Do it or I'll devour this soul right now!" The threat was real, but the only thing I could do to save Kim was exactly what I was doing. I never hesitated as I continued to crawl forward. I knew I was in trouble when the succubus's tone softened. "As you wish."

I knew what was about to happen. I'd been part of it every time it happened in the past. I was certain it had something to do with the bond between the succubus and me. Sarina would begin eating Kim's soul, and last night she'd proven with poor Claire that she'd become powerful enough to do it far faster than before.

I couldn't allow her to consume Kim's soul. She would be done before I could reach my goal. On the other hand, I'd proven over and over again that there was nothing I could do to stop Sarina. I'd learned long ago that there was no point in trying, but the truth was that I usually did anyway.

It wasn't in me to let the succubus wolf down the soul of our victims without a fight. There was sure no way in hell that I'd let the succubus devour Kim's without a fight. No, more than a fight, a war.

Sarina wasn't surprise by my effort to block her from the soul she wanted to eat. It was nothing knew, but a moment later that changed when the succubus realized she couldn't push past my defense of Kim's soul as easily as she had every other time when I'd defended a soul from her. I could feel her rage as she battered at my blockade. I only had moments before it crumbled, but moments were all I needed.

I crawled the last step and reached my destination. I grabbed hold of the El-Kordai's necklace triumphantly. Maybe a part of me should have known better than to hope, but I had anyway.

I had hoped taking up the necklace would give me the strength to face Sarina. It didn't. Instead, white hot pain lanced through the hand holding the necklace and up into every inch of my body. Whatever barrier I'd placed between Kim's soul and the succubus disintegrated and I cried out in agony, only partially because of the pain from the El-Kordai was pushing into me.

I'd failed Kim. The guilt overwhelmed me, which in turn fed the El-Kordai attacking me. The pain grew exponentially, but by that point I craved it and the end it promised. I hadn't had a reason to live in a long time, but now that Kim was gone and I knew what Sarina's end plan was, I had reason to die. It would weaken the succubus and delay the destruction on my world. That was a cause worthy of dying for, but the truth was that with Kim gone, I didn't need another reason.

Instead of fighting the El-Kordai, I focused on my guilt and remorse. I let it flow freely, remembering each and every victim Sarina and I destroyed over the years. There were so many that I shouldn't have been able to remember them all, but in that moment, I did.

The pain was so great that I almost didn't notice when my heart stopped beating, almost. I smiled despite the agony.

"No!"

The necklace was ripped from my hand and thrown across the room once more. Sarina, in Kim's body was standing over me. Her triumphant look brought me to tears, something all that pain hadn't done. I was done. I had nothing left to use to fight the succubus. I was hers to do with as she wanted.

That was until I felt Kim's soul once more. It was still there. That's when I noticed that Sarina looked as spent as I felt. The El-Kordai's attack hadn't just affected me. The succubus had felt it to through our bond, and apparently, it hadn't been able to feed while the El-Kordai tried to kill me.

Of course, now that I was no longer holding the necklace the El-Kordai wasn't able to affect us and the much-depleted succubus reached for Kim's soul hungrily. I have no idea where I came up with the strength to stop her, but I did, for a time.

The El-Kordai's power had been cold and painful, but in its own way it was clean. No so Sarina's power. She poured it into me, this time latching on to me with Kim's body. I didn't have the strength to defend Kim's soul and keep the succubus at bay.

I felt my stiffness slip inside of Kim and did my best to ignore it. It was all I could do to keep Sarina from my love's soul. Our bodies thrashed together in a way that meant nothing, but only because it was the succubus and not Kim in control.

The problem was that the faster our bodiues came together the stronger Sarina seemed to become while I felt myself weakening. A part of me kept repeating that it was only a matter of time. I ignored that part and redoubled my efforts to block the succubus from Kim's soul. When that failed, I put myself between the two.

I'd tried this in the past. It usually fared no better than anything else, but this time it was different. This time as I drew close to my love's soul it somehow welcomed me. I was using my own soul to try and protect Kim's, only she wasn't the type to sit back and let others fight her battles. Kim had learned at a young age that doing that didn't work. We faced Sarina's onslaught together.

I never lost focus on what Sarina was doing to my body as we fought. I couldn't afford to. I had promised myself that I would never give the succubus a child of mine to be her next pawn, and I wouldn't. It was the only promise I'd made to myself since inheriting the ring that I'd kept.

I could feel that my body was close to orgasm and I readied myself to pull out as usual, only something was happening as Kim and I fought the succubus together. There were moments when Sarina's hold on my love's body slipped. One of those moments struck just before my release.

Kim was in the throws of her own orgasm and pulled my mouth to hers. I couldn't deny her kiss because it tasted of my love and not the succubus. My release burst loose before I could free myself from Kim. I knew that it was because I didn't want to. I wanted to be tied to my love body and soul, and because of that I made a terrible mistake.

"Finally!" Sarina shrilly cried in a sick sort of victory, once more in control of Kim's body. I was so distracted by my failure that it almost cost me the war for my love's soul. Thankfully, I wasn't the only one fighting. Kim somehow kept the succubus at bay as I recovered. She also rested control of her body from Sarina long enough to cry out three words.

"Protect our child!" As usual with Kim, it was the feelings behind the words that mattered most. I could feel her love for me and the something that was forming deep inside of her. The sense of family I got from her words was more than I had any right to expect. I refocused on keeping Sarina away from Kim's soul.

Still, all of my and my love's efforts would have been worthless if our souls hadn't joined together in one unified front to protect not only ourselves, but our child. I knew it was only possible because of the love we shared. The joy that came with that knowledge only added to our strength. I'd known I loved Kim and I think deep down I was pretty sure she felt the same, but with our joining there could be no doubt.

Not only was our defense stronger together, but in the next moment I learned the secret of how to break the bond between the succubus and me. I figured it out the moment Sarina tried to devour a piece of Kim's soul and got some of mine instead. I felt myself weaken, but the effects on the tie between Sarina and I were far more pronounced.

"We can break the curse!" I cried out ecstatically, despite the cost. "If the succubus eats my soul then the bond will be broken."

"Come up with a better answer!" Kim retorted, in control of her body as the succubus fought to recover from the damage her attack against my soul caused the bond between us. "My child will have a father worth having!"

"Kim..." I tried to argue, but she was hearing none of it.

"It can't hurt me because it can't chance eating your soul, so as long as I wear the ring the demon is powerless." There was a twisted sort of logic to what she was saying, but how long could we survive like this? It was crazy.

"You underestimate me human!" Sarina nearly growled as she once again took control of Kim's body. "I can't eat your soul, but that doesn't mean I can't simply kill you. Your soul can't stay on this plane without your body."

"And you don't understand the most important part of what you just said!" Kim was herself once more, but my head was beginning to hurt trying to keep track. "This is my body! Not yours! And I know how weak you're feeling right now."

I watched the internal fight for control of my love's body. At times it almost felt like they were going to pull her flesh and bones into two separate piles. I offered what supports I could to Kim, but this was a pure fight of wills and there was little I could offer in support other than my love.

It only lasted a matter of moments, but it felt much longer than that. My heart was in my throat the whole time as I waited to see the outcome. The triumphant smile that finally blossomed was all Kim. I smiled and pulled her to me. We'd barely hugged when something changed. Something major. The ground literally shook.

"What's that?" My confusion was obvious.

"Oh my God!" Kim cried in shock as a small tornado formed in the corner of my apartment. "The succubus is bringing it's true body into the world. It won't last long here, but it won't take it long to destroy us unless..."

"What?" I asked, but lost track of my thoughts as Sarina appeared. I'd never seen anything like the succubus. All its features were exaggerated into something not quite human. How could something be both monstrously ugly and yet, seductive at the same time?

I didn't have time to dwell on the possible answers because Kim was diving for the El-Kordai's necklace. She only made it half the distance before Sarina grabbed hold of my love's ankle and pulled her back with what seemed like little or no effort.

"There's more than one way to kill you, human female!" the succubus cried with a lisp than sent shivers, both the sexual and horrific kind, down my spine.

"You escaped the ring in your true form. Doesn't that mean the bond between you and my family is broken?" I had no idea if I was right, but it didn't matter. I was hoping my words would distract the succubus.

It was odd, seeing its real form. I realized that Kim was right. The succubus was neither male nor female, or maybe the right description was that it was both. It certainly had prominent feature of both sexes. I knew I'd have problems thinking of it as female ever again. I couldn't even think if it as 'Sarina' anymore.

"Don't be ridiculous," the succubus replied, turning to me, but only briefly. "The bond remains."

"But you brought your true form into our world. It won't be long before you're forced back through the barrier. How are you going to use the bond from your own reality?" It was a good question, but I wish Kim had let me ask it. I didn't want the succubus's focus on her.

"I have plenty of power to return and when I do, my plans will continue where they left off."

I didn't like the sound of that, but there was little I could do about it right now. The best I could hope for is that Kim and my child survived the next few minutes. I'd always known that the succubus was far stronger in its true form, but seeing and sensing it was something different altogether.