Guilt and Lust

"You're not as powerful as you once were," Kim grinned, apparently not as impressed as I was. "The El-Kordai drained you."

"Not enough human female! Not nearly enough." The succubus offered an evil sounding gurgle that I realized was its true laughter. Kim took the moment to dive for the El-Kordai necklace again, but the demon was ready and knocked her aside once more.

A moment later it was moving toward Kim and I ran out of time. I did the only thing I could and dove toward the necklace. The succubus tried to stop me, but it had been intent on killing Kim and hesitated a moment too long. I guess it figured I wouldn't be stupid enough to tangle with the El-Kordai again, or more likely, it had simply been overconfident in its ability to react in its true form.

"No!" That cry was from Kim, but I ignored it. I had to, no matter how much it hurt to hear.

Grabbing the necklace again wasn't the best plan in the world considering everything I suddenly had to lose, but then again, there was no way I was going to lose any of it, not while I still lived.

Maybe I'd be able to hold on to the necklace long enough for the El-Kordia to kill me this time. Maybe not. I just hoped that whatever it did, the El-Kordai was strong enough use my bond with the succubus to send it back through the barrier.

I thought I was ready for the pain that taking hold of the necklace would cause after the last time, but the El-Kordai had apparently upped its game. My finger touched the brown gem with its bluish yellow swirls and the agony was instantaneous and all encompassing. This time it didn't feel like my heart stopped so much as exploded.

"Nooo!" This time the word was a roar and came from the succubus. I almost smiled despite the pain, but the demon was still on our world and as I watched, it turned toward Kim. I'd failed to defeat it again. All hope drained from me as the loss of my heart finally caused the inevitable. I stopped breathing and died, full of despair and guilt.

**********

New York. They say it's the city that never sleeps. It certainly looked that way from the glassy eyed stares I received from the regulars of the dive bar I slipped into. This place made most of the seedy joints I's been look like a three-star restaurant. Most people would have turned around and left. For me it felt like a homecoming. I smiled toward the bartended as I sat on an empty stool.

"What will you have?" The bartender's tone wasn't all that pleasant, but that wasn't unusual for a place like this. What was, was the fact that she was female and on the young side.

The bartender wasn't particularly pretty, but I had the feeling that was on purpose. The only notable thing about her was her large breasts and she'd done what she could to hide them by wearing a boxy sweatshirt. Still, there was something attractive, seductive even, about her. It brought back old memories I could do without.

I worried the ring on my finger briefly before forcing myself to stop. Old habits were hard to change.

I wasn't particularly thrilled by the drink the bartender brought, but I remained silently sipping it and watching a game on one of the televisions. It was actually pretty good and I got to talking to some of the regulars. Well, the ones that were still able to talk sense. I'd arrived late and some of them were no longer feeling any pain.

One of them actually reminded me of Mikey from Cal's. I hadn't thought about him in a couple of years and caught myself wondering how he was doing.

It was another hour before the second of the two people I was waiting for arrived. He was probably ten years younger than me, but he didn't look it. I frowned when I saw his bloodshot eyes. He ordered a drink from the bartended and then watched her ass as she moved to the other side of the bar. I had to give him credit. It was an ass worth taking in, not that I was surprised. I found myself thumbing my ring again and sighed.

I watched the guy interact with the other regulars. He wasn't particularly personable, but he didn't come off as an asshole either. Still, I was pretty sure the only reason why he picked this particular dive bar was because of the bartender. His eyes drifted to her frequently. Honestly, so did a lot of the regulars, but there was something more to the way he looked at her.

"Alright, stop stalling," I said to myself, which earned me an odd look from a couple of the regulars who were sitting close to me. I hated this part, but it had to be done. I reached around my neck and placed my bare hand on the necklace. Every time I did it, I expected my chest to erupt in pain, but it didn't and contact with my bear skin helped.

The power of the El-Kordai was always with me, but still, every time I did this it felt especially strong. It had weakened over the years and the El-Kordai seldom talked directly to me anymore. I understood. Our bond wasn't what it should have been and it wasn't please about it. Me neither, but it was what it was.

The bartended was giving me an odd look as she walked by. I found myself wondering how much of it was because I wasn't a regular and how much of it was because of the green streaks in my hair with the yellow highlights. I mean, this was New York. It's not like someone with odd hair was all that unique. I shrugged and looked at the guy who I'd been sent to follow.

There was something in him that blossomed into something dark and foreboding. Unfortunately, the El-Kordai only remained focused on the guy for a short period of time before it lost interest. I shook my head in disgust. "Great. Just great."

This time I used my other hands to twist the tungsten band around my finger. I'd worn a ring for years, but always on the pinky. I'd had this one for two years and sometimes it still felt weird. The bottom line was that I was not really a ring guy, but there was no way I'd skip wearing this one. Let's just say it would be hazardous to my health.

I felt her walk in before I actually saw her. That meant that by the time she sat next to me, my mood had improved drastically.

"Hey," she grinning, obviously happy to see me. We didn't see each other nearly enough for my liking, but our lives weren't our own. I didn't bother wasting words with a response. Instead, I leaned over and kissed my wife. Kim didn't resist.

The matching band on her ring finger was narrower than mine, but built similarly. Kim wasn't the type for girly things. That kind of stuff got in the way of her kicking butt, which was her favorite pastime most days.

I took a moment to glance at her other hand to find my old pinky ring. I hated seeing it on her, but it was the best place for it so I did my best not to let it bother me. The succubus was still trapped in the demon plane of existence and would be for decades, maybe even longer, but it pays to play it safe.

One day it would return and whoever wore the ring would be in danger. I preferred that be me, but I couldn't wear the El-Kordai's necklace and the ring at the same time. The demon in the stone around my neck always reacted violently when I tried.

If I had any choice in the matter than I would have chosen the ring over the necklace, but plain and simple, without the stone around my neck, I was dead. It was the only thing keeping the pieces of my heart functioning normally. I still don't know how Kim convinced the El-Kordai to bring me back to life, but she had and I was thankful. She said it had to do with the fact that at the time we had a shared soul. I liked to think we still did most days.

"How the princess?" I asked, missing our daughter.

"Loving her time at your grandparents," Kim grinned, but then added with a motherly sigh, "You do know that they spoil her terribly, right?"

"That'd what grandparents are supposed to do," I laughed. "Much less, great grandparents."

"A fair point," she conceded. We exchanged a smile, just like we always did when one of used that phrase. It brought back pleasant memories of when we met, fell in love and almost killed each other.

"So, how bad are the targets?" Kim said, getting down to business far quicker than I would have wanted.

"Well, let's see," I said with a shake of my head. "The guy is definitely worse than expected. Unfortunately, he's not the guilt-ridden type so the El-Kordai isn't interested."

"Another psychopath?" Kim grimaced. "That's the second one this year."

"Oh, and he has a thing for the bartender," I added, not even bothering to hide my annoyance. "She's about as friendly as a barracuda. I can't wait until we tell her she's my sister."

"That's my job," Kim said. "You'd better call in the psychopath."

"Okay, but take it easy on her," I said thoughtfully. "I have the feeling this one might be aunt material in time."

"Got it," Kim said, trying to hide a laugh, but failing miserably. I raised a questioning eyebrow. She only hesitated briefly before answering. "You say that about them all. Do you have any idea how few actually work out that way? Almost none of the children your father left behind have had easy lives. They're a rough lot."

"They're family," I insisted, meaning it. That didn't stop me from adding, "But no one gets near the princess without your and my grandfather's okay. You two have a good sense about people. Far better than mine." We watched the bartended for a few minutes as she interacted with her customers.

"Do we tell her tonight?" Kim asked. I thought about it and shook my head.

"Let's wait until we deal with the psychopath. I don't like the way he looks at her. We're going to have to watch him until the powers that be decide what to do about him." Kim nodded in agreement and we sat in companionable silence for a few minutes.

"Life sure is weird," I eventually sighed. "I thought you were lost to me that day we fell in love. I remember grabbing your necklace for the second time. I remember seeing the succubus turn toward you just before I died. I was certain I'd failed in saving you and the princess."

"But you didn't," my wife said, clearly proud of me for what I'd done. "What you missed was the succubus stumbling and falling a moment later as your death took its toll. The El-Kordai and I were then able to drain it of even more of its horded power before forcing it back into its own realm. It won't be back for a long time."

"Like I said, life is weird." This time I shook my head. "I die, the succubus is drained of most of its power and forced back into it's world. You convince the El-Kordai to revive me, but the only way I stay live is if it stays with me so I end up inheriting your job. The succubus is gone for the moment, but it will return one day and the bond, though weakened, isn't gone so the powers that be send you out to track down my half siblings, just in case."

"Yep, definitely weird," Kim agreed. "On a good note, we did find a couple of good aunts and uncles for the princess out of the dozens of you half siblings we tracked down."

"That has made her happy." I smiled at thoughts of our daughter. She looked just like her mother, thankfully. Okay, maybe she had my chin, but that was it. Okay, maybe my eyes too.

I grinned stupidly at nothing particular. Life might be weird, but it sure was a hell of a lot better than it was before I met Kim.

"Don't be so sure about our daughter's happiness," Kim began as I reached for my drink. I frowned in concern as I took a sip. "She's asking for a little bother or sister these days." My loving wife had timed it perfectly. I didn't quite end up spraying my drink across the bar, but it was a close thing.

"I'm not sure that's suck a good idea," I said thoughtfully. "If it's a boy then one day..."

"We'll talk about it later tonight," Kim interjected. My wife smiled sexily as she added, "Or maybe we won't. I'm not taking anything to stop myself from becoming pregnant anymore so if you don't want to have a kid all you need to do is not finish inside of me."

"On, now that's mean!"

Kim knew how much I enjoyed our nights together, especially when we finished at the same time. She was the only women I'd ever made pregnant and the thought of doing so again, although I had concerns, had parts of me responding almost of their own accord. "I guess I could just think 'girl' real hard when it happens."

"My husband the geneticist," Kim teased.

"Laugh it up smart ass," I joked back. "Just remember, I've got an El-Kordai riding shotgun. Who's to say he won't do a brother a solid and make sure we only have girls."

"What? Have you been binge watching seventies and eighties television shows online?" my wife snorted. "'Riding shot gun'? 'Do a brother a solid'? Seriously?"

"Hey, my nights are cold and lonely when you're not around." For some reason, my response made her smile and hug me.

That didn't stop me from reaching out to the El-Kordai. You'd be amazed by how much one of them can affect the bodies of their host. I mean, after all, mine was keeping my piecemeal heart going.

"You know, I wouldn't mind a whole gaggle of little girls in my life." I was grinning widely when I said it. Kim gave me a look, but didn't ask. Instead, she smiled slowly as I pulled out my phone.

"I always have been partial to girls. Well, except for you, anyway."

"Sometimes it's nice to be the exception to the rule." Kim rolled her eyes at my comment, but she also took the time to kiss me again.

We were getting odd looks. I understood. This wasn't the type of bar for couples and we were being awfully touchy feely. I looked around and remembered my ten years of hiding out in places like this. Coming here had felt like a homecoming at first, but with Kim beside me, I realized where my true home lay. I promised myself I'd never forget again.

"I'll be ready to leave in five minutes," I said, giving my wife a look I'm sure she knew well. I certainly recognized her return glance. "As soon as our relief arrives." I held up my phone letting Kim know I'd texted the information I had on the psychopath.

We waited silently as we were won't to do at times. I refused to dwell on the return of the succubus. It would happen when it happened. That was no reason to stop living. Hell, I'd only started living when Kim came into my life. I had plenty to catchup on.

I looked down and realized that I was once again using my thumb to worry at my wedding band, but instead of letting it bother me, I smiled. I realized that I was playing with it because it reminded me of something good, something important. It reminded me of my wife, my daughter and those who relied on me.

It suddenly struck me that I had everything I always wanted. I had friends who relied on me and who I could rely on. I had a job that not only paid my bills, but stretched my imagination to its limits. Facing down people like the psychopath was something I could be proud of. Most important of all, I had a wife and daughter I loved with every once of my being. What more could I man ask for?