Ruined

"I went to the living room and sat down. When he came out, it looked like he had washed his face. Other than that, he looked exactly the same as he had looked when I answered the doorbell. We had some wine and appetizers and then a great dinner, and the conversation was intellectual.

"When he was leaving, I decided to be bold. I asked him if he was doing anything the following Saturday night, and he said no. I invited him to dinner again. He didn't answer right way, but after gazing at me a few minutes, he said, 'Yes,' kissed me on the cheek and walked quickly to his car.

"I was nervous all week and couldn't look at him in class. I didn't want to do the wrong thing. A couple of hours before he showed up, I made up my mind to go for broke.

"I wanted this to be about our feelings, not my training. I remembered that I had made the same decision with you, and my feelings had betrayed me. I hoped I wasn't making another mistake.

"As soon as he walked in the door, I took him by the hand and led him to the display. I picked up the cat with right hand and stood facing him. His head was down, facing the floor.

"I gently put my left hand under his chin and lifted his head up until he was looking into my eyes. I said that if he was ready for it, I would give him thirty strokes this time. He didn't say anything, so I plunged ahead.

"'If you want me to do that,' I said, 'you're going to have to take your clothes off here in the living room while you're looking at me. Then you'll have to go into my studio and get into the position I show you.'

"His head snapped up out of my hand, and his eyes grew wide. For a few seconds, I thought I had blown it. But then I saw him thinking about what I had said, and I knew I had done the right thing.

"When he was naked, I got him on his hands and knees in the middle of the bed. He didn't say anything as I moved him around to get the best lighting. Then I adjusted the cameras. After ten strokes on his butt, I noticed he was hard even though he was screaming. I put some lube on my hands and reached for his cock with my left hand. He tried to move away, but I grabbed his balls with my right hand and squeezed them hard.

"He collapsed onto the bed moaning from the pain. I continued to squeeze for almost twenty seconds and then let go. I let him lie on the bed for a couple of minutes and then I reached under him and grabbed his balls again and slowly pulled them back between his legs and then up. His body followed his balls until he was on his hands and knees again.

"I stopped squeezing and began manipulating them gently. I reached for his hard cock and began pumping it. After a minute, he began to thrust into my hand. I stopped and picked up the cat and resumed whipping him while continuing to pump his cock. He began to scream from the pain again, but he stayed hard.

"I was trying to make him come while I was whipping him, but his body didn't know what to do. Once I got to thirty, I knew I had to stop or his butt wouldn't recover for weeks. I kept on pumping him with my left hand, but he couldn't let himself go.

"Then I inserted my right middle finger in his ass and pushed it in as far as it would go. That did it. He roared and began spurting onto the bed. I came, too, and I felt like shouting for joy, but I didn't."

Myra stopped. She was breathing hard and took a few moments to calm herself. Travis didn't say anything, but his mouth was clamped tightly shut.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I got carried away. You look like you'd like to be anywhere else but here. Please hold on a little longer.

"So anyway, I went to wash up and try to compose myself. When I came out of the bathroom, I didn't see him. I rushed through the living room in time to see my front door close. When I opened it, he was already pulling his car door open, and he was gone in a flash.

"For some reason, I was calm. I thought about what had happened, and I couldn't think of anything that didn't feel right. Then my phone rang. It was Peter. He apologized for rushing out, but he needed to be alone to think.

"We went out for coffee after class the next week, and he confessed that he was confused and scared about what had happened and maybe needed to see a professional. He asked me for a referral.

"I told him that before I did that I wanted to talk to him. He was hesitant, but he finally agreed to let me come to his place with no dinner or anything else except conversation.

"Before our meeting, I thought a lot about him. I decided that I had to let go of my romantic notions of discovery and spontaneity -- at least for a while -- and do what I do best. The next three times we met, all we did was talk. I lifted the veil on my life a little, but mostly it was him talking and me listening with the ears of a therapist.

"Do you know why he's so muscular? It's because exercising is the main thing he uses to get his mind off sex. He has a tremendous sex drive. He takes one or two cold showers every day. Sometimes he'll watch porn. He told me he would rather die than have sexual relations outside of marriage.

"He's horribly self-critical. He wants desperately to be kind of man everybody thinks he is, but he feels he's living a lie because of his lustful thoughts about the women who parade themselves in front of him.

"I began to help him. I knew that it was a mistake having a relationship with someone who's also a patient, but I rationalized it this way. He's not paying me in money. I'm getting paid by watching him shed his guilt and shame and finding happiness. It's a payment in love.

"I'm still finding out things about him, and everything I learn makes me love him more. He lets me do to him all the things that were done to you and many more. My imagination is running wild, and he's responding to nearly everything I think up.

"One night, I surprised him by doing my tribute to this famous video of a Korean porn star. She viciously punches a man's balls over and over just as he's coming, sending his come flying everywhere.

"I was worried because he fainted from the pain, and I had trouble getting him home. The next day all he said was to please never do that again, but I've noticed that's the video he wants to watch more than any of the others we've made.

"We are together nearly every second that he or I aren't at work or at church. We even work out together. I can't get enough of him, but when I suggested the other day that he might be getting tired of spending all his time with me and that we should cool it a little, he got angry with me for the first time.

"He proposed to me a couple of weeks ago, and he was in tears when I accepted. We had an amazing session after that. I tied him to the bed and caned him until his butt was a bloody mess. He was crying like a baby and begging me to stop by the time I gave him a hundred strokes.

"You know what he said when we were both lying there exhausted and he was in terrible pain before I gathered the strength to get up and attend to him? He said that as far as he was concerned, I was a virgin because I became a new woman when I was born again. He said he looked forward to having sex with me on our wedding night and was imagining me taking off my pure white gown in front of him."

There were tears in Myra's eyes as she stopped speaking again and reached out with her hands and grabbed Travis's shoulders and shook him hard.

"You can relax now," she said. "I finished the stuff you don't like. I'm almost done. I hope I can bring back a smile to your face.

"Peter told me he wants more than just a female dominant sadomasochistic relationship, and I said I wanted that, too. He said he wants to make passionate love without any pain or humiliation, and I told him I'm also dying to do that.

"I'm purifying myself for that moment on our wedding night, so it will be holy. I already know it's also going to be hot. He's going to be my virgin, and I'm going to be his, at least in my soul.

"I still have to treat him like a patient sometimes, because he's suppressed his nature so long that it's not easy to move forward. He prays constantly for me and himself and is sometimes overcome with guilt about what we do together and how much he craves it.

"I pray, too -- for him to heal and accept who he is and be whole, and I think he's starting to understand that what we do is not harmful to anyone or to our souls and that when he stops wasting his time and energy on guilt, he'll have more of it to give to God.

"He's the most amazing man I've ever known. You are in second place now, but I still love you, Travis, and I always will. You have given me a gift so wonderful, it must come from heaven. God used you as his messenger.

As she finished, Travis realized he was no longer feeling disgusted. He looked at her moist eyes and felt like embracing her. He hesitated and then was ashamed at his hesitation.

She was again sitting at a polite distance from him on the bench. He moved to her and put his arms around her and pulled her to him. She began sobbing.

As he released her, he said, "I'm filled with joy right now, Myra. You are an amazing woman. I wish you and Peter all the happiness in the world."

Myra looked around her as she straightened her clothes.

"Tongues are going to be wagging about how we were hugging and I was crying like a baby. I know Peter will understand when I tell him, but if I hear from anyone that Delilah is the least bit upset, I'm going to march right up to her, and you're not going to stop me. Somebody has to remind her that she married an angel."

*

For background on the stories of edrider73, see "Author Interview: edrider73" by Literoticauthor. Tag: "author interview."