The Sands of Time

Jane gazed through her office window at some boaters on the river and envied them. Jane could not help daydreaming of the previous evening's events. A half-hour passed before she realized she hadn't yet done a bit of work. She corrected herself and got down to work. Jane worked for a little over four hours before deciding she was happy with what she had accomplished. She straightened out her desk and left the building. Jane turned the corner of the building and proceeded down the alley toward her car. She had just about reached her car when she heard a voice say, "Miss, Miss, could you help me please?"

Jane stopped and turned to see who was calling her. There she saw a casually dressed man of medium build and good looks. She walked slowly towards him. He looked to be in his late 20s, had blonde hair and a very attractive smile. "How can I help you?" Jane was the proverbial Good Samaritan.

"I'm looking for Pie Alley but obviously this isn't it so could you please direct me to it?" He asked.

Jane came to within a few feet of him. She turned away from him and said, "Sure, go back down this alley and turn. . . " Jane choked as she felt an arm grasping her tightly by the neck and dragging her backwards. Jane flailed at the man but he was far too strong and she couldn't reach back far enough to even touch him. He dragged her to the rear of the parking lot and to the side of an old Pontiac. There he threw her to the ground and quickly pulled out a long knife.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT SCREAMING!" He barked at her in an obvious agitated state. Jane was about to scream but stopped when he said that. Jane remembered being told that the rapist only cares about hurting people and one method of deterring his raping her was to lay back, not struggle and take it. She did remember they had modified that by saying she should fight as hard as she could, especially by scratching and gouging at and around the eyes if she felt her life was in immediate danger. She also remembered another other thing, when it became obvious he was going to rape her. She knew she had to put up a struggle and try to dig her nails into his skin, preferably his face. She would not move at all unless it came to that. The man took his knife and placed it at the opening of her blouse where it went under her jeans. Slowly he pulled the knife upward quickly popping each button on its route. Jane put up a struggle and did manage to put a deep gouge in his face with her fingernails. Jane noticed an angry grin on his face. It scared her. He didn't seem at all bothered by her scratching him. He seemed to be enjoying it and this scared her much more. The knife continued to cut through her bra through the front connector as if it were not even there. This display of the knife's sharpness heightened Jane's already extreme fear. Then she realized it was just a form of intimidation meant to scare her so that she would lash out and validate his reasoning for becoming violence. Once again Jane had put up a good fight trying in vain to fend him off but now she lay there perfectly still. Then, resigning herself to her fate, Jane pulled off a weak smile as if she were giving in and enjoying it. To the contrary, she was trying to gain some time so she could rest a bit and regroup her thoughts. To back the indication of submission she pulled her blouse open. Inside she was scared more than she had ever known. Still Jane was able to remain compose as she allowed her breasts to come into full view of the man. This action brought a broad grin to the man's face. He reached down and squeezed each of her breasts several times. It was obvious to her that he was enjoying himself. Her nipples became hard and tall seemingly betraying her. Somewhere in her mind the thought crossed as to how such actions would look in court. Jane was quickly becoming less and less able to continue the charade. Still, by showing him this she hoped he might feel he would lose interest. Her fears began to turn to extreme fear. In a fit of rage Jane struck out at him again, trying to hit him with her fists and claw at him again. This time she failed.

"DON'T DO THAT!" he yelled. He seemed more annoyed and angry than hurt. Then she thought she had a clear shot to bury her knee hard and directly into his groin and disable him at least briefly. When she kicked up at his groin. He moved slightly and her knee landed on his thigh. Immediately his eyes widened in a way that scared Jane to tears. She sobbed heavily.

The man now had the grin of a person enraged and ready to be very violent. He looked down at her rather large breasts and ran the tip of his knife around her nipples. She felt certain he had cut her there. He had. She could see a little blood appear on her breasts. He did nothing further for a few moments. Jane was crying profusely now and was unable to stop. He stared at her breasts for a few moments longer and then said, "Nice tits you got there lady. Maybe I'll cut your nips off to keep as a memory of you." A vicious smile again crossed his face. A minute passed, a long minute. With that Jane thought he might not be as serious as he said. She thought he might just be some perverse individual who got his kicks from intimidating women and then staring at their semi-naked bodies. Still, she knew in her heart that this was her rationalization of the situation into one that was easier to take. She felt certain she was wrong.

In a fleeting moment. Jane let out an ear piercing scream and then yelled out as loudly as she could, "HELP!! HELP ME!" Suddenly Jane felt a pain in her head and then on her face and then another to her face. She had never felt such pain before. It seared through her body as if it were a white-hot iron impaling her. Jane tried to say something to the man. She choked. It was at that moment that she realized her jaw had been broken. The man cursed her and told her he would kill her if she made another peep. Then he hit her directly in the face again with his fist. The strength of his blow slammed the side of Jane's head into the pavement and briefly knocked her unconscious. When she came to she was drowsy but aware enough to feel her jeans being pulled down. Then, as she became more conscious, Jane felt the man enter her and suddenly her worst fear was realized, she was being raped. She could feel the cold roughness of the pavement upon her buttocks. Jane struggled against him as best she could forgetting how it would probably enrage him further and possibly allow him to kill her. Then, again trying where she failed before, she managed to swing one of her knees taking direct aim up into his groin and hit him squarely and with great force where she had aimed. Her panties had pulled against her leg as she heaved it towards him. Still, she hit him so hard he fell away from her in obvious pain. He held himself where her knee had landed. She felt surprised she had been able to do it She had been stronger than she thought she could be. She felt her panties fall from her legs. They had ripped apart quickly when her leg strained them. He is immobilized, she thought.

"YOU'RE DEAD FOR THAT LADY!" he screamed at her, "WHEN I'M DONE I'M GOING TO FUCKIN' KILL YOU YOU FUCKIN' BITCH. YOU'RE ALL BITCHES ANYWAY." He surprised her by getting up in obvious pain and managing to yell that. She feared for her life again.

Once again he hit her on the side of her head knocking her partially unconscious one more time. When she regained consciousness this time she could feel his weight upon her. She felt the man's hips slamming into her and hurting her each time he slammed his body into her hips. How could he hit her so hard she wondered briefly? Jane slowly opened her eyes and looked up into the eyes of her rapist. What she saw scared her more. There was an unmistakable rage in the man's eyes. He seemed to be seething at the mouth as he raped her. Somehow he continued to slap and hit her. Jane was perfectly quiet when the man struck her in the jaw again and yelling some more obscenities at her. She had come to feel numbed by the experience. She didn't remember that later on. She had resigned herself to a certain death and with that she lapsed into complete unconsciousness.

When Jane opened her eyes again she was looking directly into a bright light. It was then she heard someone saying, "Insert it into the I.V. stat. I want any pain she has relieved quickly."

Jane tried to say something as her hand reached out to a woman in a white coat. "Mrs. Coolidge, don't try to talk. Your jaw is broken in several places and has been wired so your jaw almost entirely shut. You have just enough movement to get a straw in your mouth. Also, do try to remember as much as what happened." the woman stated. "The police will be here later. They need to know what happened in as much detail as you can remember. They'll be asking a lot of personal questions, very personal question."

Jane thought for a moment and then nodded.

"Do you know where you are?" the woman asked. Again Jane thought a minute and shook her head no.

"You are at St. Jude's hospital, in the emergency room," she replied.

"Mrs. Coolidge, since you have been raped we are required by law to do a number of procedures that are out of the ordinary. We have what is called a rape kit. We must find any sperm samples we can and we must also take pictures of all your injuries. This will require us to have photographs of your breasts and groin area. Mrs. Coolidge, do you understand this?"

Jane nodded to the woman, looked about herself and slipped back into a sleep state.

Jane was quickly awakened. "Mrs. Coolidge, will you give us consent to do all these procedures. We must have your permission."

Jane nodded to the woman that she would consent. The woman quickly put a clipboard in front of her and pointed where she wanted Jane to sign. Jane signed and once again lapsed into unconsciousness.

Once again Jane regained consciousness. She remembered giving permission for something. At first Jane didn't know what procedures she had agreed to. As her memory came back she did remember the procedures and showed an outward feeling of fear. Knowing what they consisted of Jane became scared and very embarrassed. She didn't want them to do it. She continued to slip in and out of consciousness. When she woke up again and looked around she recognized herself as being in a hospital room. There was a lack of a second bed so she assumed she had a private room and that suited her.

Slowly she began to feel the throbbing pain that seemed to encompass every part of her body. Then, suddenly, she felt the sting of a needle going into her leg.

"How are you doing?" A feminine voice asked.

Jane looked first to one side of the bed, then to the other where she saw a woman in a white coat. She recognized the woman as the same one she had seen in the emergency room. She looked at the woman and smiled remembering that she had been told her jaw had been wired shut so she assumed she still could not speak. She smiled at the woman. She remembered her voice as being soft and showing great concern for her well being.

"Jane, I'm Dr. Leary. I just gave you a shot of morphine to relieve you of the pain you must be feeling. I'll be your doctor while you are here at St. Jude's. It is very seldom that I am in the emergency room but I was using it as a short cut to my car when you came in. I saw you and knew immediately what most likely had happened to you. I almost never do ER treatments. Actually I'm a psychiatrist but St. Jude's is trying a new psychiatrist/physician program specializing in rape and similar cases. A surgeon, did reconstructive surgery on your jaw. Laser technology was used to do some bone fusing. Right now you have a plastic mold holding your jaw together but not so restrictive that you cannot talk. It will be difficult, painful at first for the next two or three weeks. It will be best if you restrain yourself from talking at all or as little as possible. You should be rid of the apparatus in a couple of weeks and your jaw should have healed well enough to move freely. Still, you may still need another, less restricting prosthetic devise to support your jaw. In the mean time you and I are going to be meeting to talk about what happened to you. I'm sorry, I should have asked your permission to do that. I am more concerned with your mind than I am with your physical troubles right now. Is that all right with you Jane? Would you like me to follow this through of do you have a therapist you'd prefer?"

Jane attempted to vocally answer yes when the doctor's admonition hit home. In just moving her jaw slightly an enormous pain came over her. She then nodded her head in a yes motion. Jane looked at Dr. Leary and saw her smile in response.

"Don't try to talk Jane," Dr. Leary said, "I've gotten a clipboard and pad of paper so you can write what you need when it's too painful to talk. I'm going to leave you now but I'll be back later to check on you. If the pain becomes too great don't be afraid to push the call button. I've ordered Demerol. You can have it once every four hours." Jane nodded that she understood.

"There's someone out here who has been waiting to see you. Shall I let him in?"

Jane smiled and nodded yes.

"All right but only for a few minutes. I'll see you in a few hours. I want you to get a lot of rest so you take it as easy as you can, all right?"

Again Jane nodded yes. Dr. Leary smiled, patted Jane on her foot and left the room leaving the door open. A few moments later Gary entered. He walked towards her tentatively. Gary looked into Jane's eyes as he sat down on the chair next to her bed. Gary was unable to say a thing and so he took Jane's hand and held it. Gary held her hand quietly, pensively. Jane wished he would say something, anything.

As his silence became more prolonged Jane felt herself becoming angry with him. Then, suddenly, Jane remembered what she had gone through behind the building where she worked. As she thought about it she shivered and began to cry, a muffled cry because of the pain in her jaw. Now there was a pain in her stomach brought on by the realization of the rape. This thought left a feeling of nausea followed quickly by her stomach heaving forth its content. She felt a nurse holding her until she could vomit no more. Tears rolled down her cheeks in rivers. The nurse left as Jane regained her composure. Gary felt helpless and did nothing. Jane hurt and felt angry at the same time. Gary was almost entirely inept when she needed consoling and so it was now. Finally she turned her head away and pulled her hand from Gary's grasp. She wished he would go home. He said that he understood how she felt having gone through this experience. Jane knew it was a lie because she knew he was incapable of any feeling for her. She fell asleep from her shot of morphine.

"I'm sorry hon," Gary said. Those were the only words he said. He didn't realize she was already asleep.

The next thing Jane heard was the sound of the door closing. She thought is was just Gary leaving the room. She didn't realize four hours had passed since he left. Jane pushed the button for some medication to take care of her pain. The nurse gave her Demerol and Jane was soon asleep.

Jane woke up to see a nurse pulling open the shades of her room. The sunlight seemed blinding to her. She lifted her arm to cover her eyes and noticed the I.V. in her arm. The she heard a man's voice. She turned to look at the man in her room and then noticed a nurse was there as well.

"Where do you want this?" The man asked the nurse. Jane looked at the man then she flashed back and saw the face of her rapist. When she looked at the man his face was exactly that of her rapist. Jane felt as if she were still going through the rape. She started to scream uncontrollably. She was overwhelmed with fear. She continued to scream feeling the pain in her jaw and remembering the ugly incident.

She heard a nurse yell for help and a doctor. Two orderlies entered the room and restrained Jane while she was given a sedative. She continued to struggle against the men with all the energy she could find. She could only see the face of her rapist and so she fought the orderlies. The orderlies held her down for quite some time while a nurse put four restrains on Jane. The nurse was quite surprised to see the strength and energy Jane still had when she felt Jane should have felt the effects of the drug already. Suddenly Jane heard, "JANE! JANE! It's all right. You are safe Jane. It's all right." The voice was that of a woman and a familiar voice. She stopped struggling although she could not stop crying. She had no memory of how she became so agitated. She felt extremely confused. She saw Dr. Leary standing beside her and tried to grab her arm to pull Dr. Leary to her. "Jane, what is it? What did you see?"

"He was here. I saw him. That man, he was here! He's going to rape me again, I know it!" Jane wrote quickly on her pad of paper.

"Jane, that man was an orderly. He was not the man who attacked you. You are safe here."

"But he told me he'd find me and kill me if I said anything to anybody. How do you know it's not him?" Jane said, sobbing almost uncontrollably.

"Jane, he's an orderly who has worked here for years," Dr. Leary replied.

"But he looks so much like the guy," Jane replied now more coherently.

"Jane, you and I will be talking a lot about what happened to you. I will try to help you through this and get you back into good shape as quickly as possible. However, the police are here and need to ask you some questions. I've instructed them that they must be brief. I don't think you are in any condition yet to answer such questions. The police have been very persistent. Do you feel up to it? I can keep them out if you're not." Dr. Leary asked.

"You said you were coming back to see me last night. Where were you?" Jane asked. This was the last question Dr. Leary expected of Jane.

"I did stop by Jane but you were fast asleep. If the police ask about any details that become too painful, you don't have to tell them, tell me. I'll tell them they cannot ask any more questions after they've been here a short time. I'll be here when they are. As your therapist they must allow me here and respect my demands." Jane smiled at Dr. Leary.

"What police?" Jane asked, her voice slurred.

Dr. Leary stepped outside Jane's door and told the police that Jane had fallen asleep again and was in no condition to talk yet. She advised them to return in the morning. They groused a little but left almost immediately. Dr. Leary then walked directly to the head nurse. She did not allow the nurse a second to say a thing. "Mrs. Coolidge is very disoriented. You know she is a rape victim and I expected she'll be agitated for the time she is here. I know you're trained in this so please be careful with her." Before the woman could answer Dr. Leary continued. "Another thing, you make absolutely certain that your shift and all other shifts understand this Mrs." She paused and looked at the nurse's nametag. "Mrs. Costello. Do you understand?" Dr. Leary had been very terse with the nurse and sheepishly the nurse responded yes with a nod of her head.

The police were waiting patiently outside Jane's door when Dr. Leary arrived at Jane's room the next day. She asked them to wait a second to see if Jane could answer questions. She returned a minute later and took the police into Jane's room. Jane never believed there could be so many questions about anything. Their questions were all so very personal. The fact that a female police officer was present was of no relief to her. The police questioned her for almost an hour before Dr. Leary ushered them out when Jane indicated the pain in her jaw was too great. The next day the police returned again and again questioned her for almost an hour. Afterward they asked her doctors about forensic tests when she was brought in and other information they would need in identifying the culprit. Dr. Leary advised them that a complete rape kit had been done with pictures as well. The hospital had already done a positive test of sperm and had labeled it. Jane's description gave them a good picture of her assailant. Some weeks later after Jane had been released from the hospital the police admitted they did not have a suspect at that point. Jane's frustration quickly rose high. Jane restrained herself.