Call (T)-Girl: Bible (T)humper

"Come in..." I said, "The uh...door is unlocked." I heard the door open, but could not see it down the small hallway. I heard the door close again and then the sound of footsteps. I could feel my blood pounding in my ears and my mouth tasted like pennies. I could barely breathe. But I was ready. I was picturing the woman coming in and then plotting exactly what I was going to say. The time had come. I had traveled through the fire and come out the other side a hardened soldier of God. Now was the time for battle.

Finally, the woman stepped out from behind hallway, into the main room of the hotel. She was wearing a large fur coat that covered her from neck to thigh, but as she walked into the room, she tossed it off. I was absolutely shocked by what I saw. I don't know what I had been expecting. I guess I was thinking I would find a woman much like I expected I had looked when Linda first found me, bedraggled and tired. Someone wrung out by the world and ready for something new. But then I remembered how much I had promised to pay to meet this woman (though, as I was not going to be sleeping with her, I would not have to pay) and figured that she could maybe afford to make herself look good.

And Eve, undeniably, looked good. She was a small woman, probably around 5'3 and around 120lbs. I took her to be of mixed-race descent because of her light brown skin. Her hair placed in innumerable small braids and hung down from her head well past her shoulders. It was very dark in color. She had enormous brown eyes with large whites that made her look exceptionally innocent. Her nose was small and well-shaped. She had high cheekbones and very small ears. I remember that her neck seemed very long and slender, giving her a very elegant look.

I was surprised when Eve had thrown off her coat. She was dressed so...revealingly underneath. I guess I shouldn't have been. She was a prostitute so she would dress skimpy. And she had to cover it up on the street. Nonetheless, the revelation of her body was a bit of a shock. Eve's body had the perfect hourglass shape of an underwear model. High, firm B-cup breasts, thin willowy arms, and a trim belly. Her body tapered down from her tight bust to a very narrow waist. It then flared back out into a set of wide, feminine hips. Her butt was very high and firm, though actually quite large. Her legs were thin and willowy, like her arms. Her thighs did not touch when her feet were together. She had very small feet. Encasing this incredible body was a very small amount of clothing. She was wearing a pink demi-bra that seemed more like a lace tripped strap against her breasts, which were straining against it. Her areolas almost peeked out from the top. Like me she was wearing a pleated skirt. But while mine was long and gray, hers was very short, barely covered her bottom, and a leathery black color. She was wearing a pair of black high heeled boots, to finish off the look.

I compared her body to mine (something I still did, despite all of my best efforts to suppress my vanity) and found myself a little distressed that she was more beautiful than me. I am ashamed to say I was intensely proud of how I looked. I rarely believed anyone looked better than I did. Nothing I had done had been able to change this self-regard. At the time I was 5'5 and around 105 lbs. I had long blonde hair was now lying flat against my back (no longer behind my ear). My large blue eyes were behind my wire frame glasses, making them look even larger. My nose was small and upturned (it better have been, my father paid a lot for it). The high cheekbones and somewhat large ears finishing off a kind of face that looks out at you from the magazine rack at the grocery store (I said I was vain, but I think it is true). My body had an hourglass shape, though not quite as symmetrical as Eve's. My breasts were very large, my waist narrow, and my hips not quite as wide. My ass was small but firm and my legs were long and thin. In short, I looked very good that day. But I do not believe I compared to Eve.

"Oh a sexy lady, a nice change of pace!" Eve said, apparently agreeing with my self-assessment. I opened my mouth to speak, but found that there wasn't anything there to say. I don't know if it was Eve's appearance or the fact that this was no longer theoretical (someone was actually in my room!) or something else entirely, but I froze. My breath sort of caught in my throat, I just sat silently. All of my preparation and ideas seemed to have flitted out of my head. Like Eve had opened a window and they'd all just flown out. Eve smiled at me.

"You did call for me didn't you? I don't like to come uninvited. Are you Cora?" she said. Eve's voice was silky smooth. She let each word drip slowly off her tongue as though she savored each syllable. I saw her red tongue bouncing between her perfect white teeth as she spoke. My name sounded exotic and foreign coming from her mouth.

"I...uh," I started. Which was good, a little progress. But it was still far less than needed to do. I was trying desperately in my mind to remember my training. What had Linda told me to do when I was starting? I didn't want to screw this up, I wanted to justify the trust that she and Pastor Andrew had placed in me. I could feel this opportunity slipping through my fingers. She was going to think I was weird and run out. Finally, I managed to nod my head. Eve, I suppose, was used to people who behaved bizarrely. She just nodded back and started to walk into the room towards me. I felt my heart beat faster in my chest, I was so nervous.

"You a little nervous sweetie?" She asked as she walked. My eyes followed her hips as she moved and I watched her breasts bounce gently in her bra. My mouth was dry. I tried to say anything, "Don't worry. I like first timers. I promise I will be gentle. Or rough. I promise to be whatever you want. That is the job," she said and smiled warmly, trying to pull me out of my shell. I tried to smile back, but I wondered if that sent the wrong message. What would be the right message? How did I started now?

"A pretty girl like you...I shouldn't even get paid for this!" Eve said enthusiastically. A second later, Eve was standing right next to me, where I sat on the edge of her bed. I could smell her sexy, fruity perfume and could feel the heat coming from her body. I nodded at her again, not sure exactly what I was agreeing to. Eve lifted her hand and I felt as she moved it close to my head. I wasn't sure what she was doing, but I felt my body tense. Her hands sunk into some of my long, soft hair and I felt her run her fingers through it. I looked up at her. She was staring at my hair with a seductive look in her eyes and wry smile on her face. Without further preamble, she sat down on the be next to me. I felt her right thigh against my left.

I don't know if it was the feeling of contact or if it was just that enough time had passed, but finally my tongue came unloosed, "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?" I asked. I hadn't intended things to go like that. I planned on talking to her about her life, talking to her about the things that she didn't like about it, then explaining that there was another way, that she could leave her life of sin behind, like me, and find real happiness. But I had been so overcome with my nerves that I'd jumped right into the middle. Maybe I wasn't ready to be a solider for God. A retreat might have been in order.

"You are into some weird foreplay," Eve said in a voice that indicated she hoped I was joking. I took a deep breath and then slid over on the bed slightly so that there was some separation between us.

"No, I...uh," I started, I found that I could speak again, and I tried to get everything back together, "Sorry...My name is Cora Thorpe. I am from the New Light Congregation, and I wanted to talk to you about...your future," I said. I smiled at her woodenly, but as best as I could. I couldn't go back to the beginning and start over, but I could try to fix it. I could make my congregation proud of me. I would prove my worth.

"Nice to meet you Cora," Eve said, but she crossed her arms over her breasts, not angrily but defensively, "I have heard about you all from some other girls. You try to save whores right?" I hadn't expected that, but at least she was talking.

"We try to save everyone," I responded.

"I hear most of you New Lighters are old men, like to come talk to whores and get a rush out it. They don't usually come after girls like me," she said. She still had the same sultry voice, but she did not say her words as seductively. It was clear she knew I was no longer a client.

"It isn't like that. We just want to help people. I want to help you," I said. Just having her talk was good and I felt like I was getting things back on track. But Eve laughed. Not rudely, but with no small amount of surprise.

"Who said I need help baby?"

"Aren't you tired of...of selling your body to just get by? Don't you wish you could find a way out of the life?" I asked, remembering the things

"Honey, how much did you agree to pay to meet me here for half an hour? I have a boy out in the hallway that will come running if someone tries something funny. I pay him. All I gotta do is scream. If you want to find a girl who is having trouble, go find one of those street hookers giving blowjobs for $10.00. I make good money here Cora. I like what I do. I am more than fine," she said. And honestly, those were normally the kinds of girls that the New Light Congregation sought out. But I had called a high end escort service. The lines that Linda had given me really didn't apply. But I had wanted Eve, or someone like her, for my own reasons.

"Is your soul fine Eve?" I asked, trying to use the ins she was giving me. It was starting to feel like the training that Linda had given me. If I just followed the protocol and did everything that the Church had asked me to do, then this would all work out. Everyone would be so happy for me and I would finally feel whole.

"You're cute so I am not going to get angry with you," Eve said, smiling her beautiful smile at me, but then standing up the bed, "But I don't need help for my soul from some crazy little religious chick whose never spent a minute in my world. You don't know anything about me. Now you are wasting my time. I can go to another hotel room and make some money and have some fun." She started to walk away. I felt despair creeping up from my chest

"I've sucked a man's penis for cocaine before," I spat out. It was the truth. Just one time. A guy I knew for a while. I had the money to pay for it. But I had done it. Just because I wanted to do it at the time. I don't know why I said it now. I just felt the need to...connect with Eve. Eve stopped walking.

"Well that isn't something that most good Christian girls say," Eve said, turning to face me again.

"I know what your life is like...I lived a...similar life I think..." And then, without further input from Eve, I started spilling my guts. I told her about my wild life, about the parties, about the sex, about the drugs. I told her about feeling wrung out and tired and about being dissatisfied with always getting everything that I wanted. And then I told her about finding Linda and then God. And about learning how to really be happy, but only being able to do so with less. I told her about how denying myself everything, had gained me something.

I don't know if initially I was intended to tell Eve my entire life story. Linda had told me that I could use little bits of my story to try to connect with the prostitute, but that the goal was to keep her talking and getting her to think about her life. But I completely forgot all about that. I just needed Eve to know that we were the same, so that she would believe me when I told her that I was happier now. With a new life. Finally, my stories all sort of dribbled out. I felt rung out. I had told Eve things I'd never told anyone else.

"Quite a life you've led..." Eve said finally, when she'd heard everything, "But I don't know what that has to do with me."

"This isn't the life you should be living. I know what I am talking about. I lived that life. I am better without it," I explained.

"First of all, I never lived the kind of life you lived. I work for everything I get, this is work. I fuck for money, not get mommy and daddy's attention." Eve said, "And secondly, even if we've both done shit that your God doesn't like, that doesn't mean we are the same. You could escape back into your Christian world when you got tired of being crazy. But I don't have that option."

"Everyone has that option," I said, "We can all choose to be part of God's community."

"I figured that you called the escort service so you'd know what you were dealing with but this is it," Eve said. She took one step back towards me and then reached over to her skirt. There was a zipper along the left side, she unzipped it quickly, in a single swipe. The skirt completely split in half and Eve let it tumble down onto the floor. Now Eve was standing in the hotel room wearing nothing but her demi bra and a pair of high heeled boots. Eve's body exposed offered all of the curves and soft skin that one would expect: a beautiful body clad or exposed. But, between her legs, waxed completely bare, was a long, veiny cock, lying softly against her thighs. I was shocked by how pretty it looked on Eve's feminine frame. Once again, I told myself that I was aesthetically appraising her body and I found that somehow, it fit. It just looked right on her.

But whatever else I was feeling when I saw Eve's long, slender cock dangling between her legs, I was not surprised. I'd called Eve for a reason. Despite my lack of surprise, I still felt uncomfortable with Eve's attractive body so exposed, I felt my cheeks get red and looked away. Something about the fact that she wasn't disgusting was disconcerting. I wanted to feel disgust, but I didn't. And that made me feel ashamed. Eve must've thought I was surprised or taken aback, but she when she spoke next, she sounded triumphant.

"Go find a lost girl who wondered too far from home. Your church will want her back. I am not lost, I know exactly where I am. And I know exactly where I won't be wanted," Eve said, placing her delicate hand on her hips, her cock bounced softly as she moved. It had been a very long time since I'd seen another persons' naked body, I felt my cheeks flush.

"You're wrong again," I said. My pulse instantly quickened. I didn't really plan on broaching the topic in this way. I was following the flow of the conversation. But I felt real terror now. My body ached and my mind felt fuzzy this was so real. This was actually going to happen. I was going to try to leverage my story to help her, and it meant I was committed to telling my whole story.

"What do you mean?" Eve asked, arching her eyebrow.

"I am a lot more like you than you know," I said slowly. I wanted to say more, but also didn't want to. It had been a long time since I had brought this up with anyone. But it was the reason that I had called a special girl like Eve. She was the kind of person that I needed to help. I needed to be strong and try. This would put the conversation over the edge. This would change the course, and make Eve see the Light.

"How is that?" Eve said, but she was looking at me very closely, it seemed like she was figuring it out. But I needed to be brave. I needed to show the strength I'd gained by changing my life.

"I am not just like you because we've both lived for the flesh. But...I live within the same flesh. Down, between my legs...I am just like you. And I was saved anyway," I said, my cheeks turning a dark crimson. It felt dirty even to talk about it. My secret, out in the open.

And it really was my secret. In my life I had very rarely told anyone, only a handful of lovers. I hadn't been lying when I said I'd lived for the flesh. But most of my...sexual experience was...oral. I did not allow people to truly see me exposed, even in my wildest days. Because I was not a normal person. Like Eve, I was a girl with a penis.

One of the many benefits that had come with having extremely rich, extremely disinterested parents was that when I was 10 and said that I was supposed to be a girl, they didn't say a word. They wrote a check. Whatever sort of surgeries or hormone therapies or whatever that I'd asked for I had gotten. They didn't seem to lament the loss of their son or have any feelings whatsoever about the rise of their new daughter. I was left to my own devices entirely and I spent the next 8 years transforming my body so that it would exactly as I wanted it. It was the one thing that I still took from my parents, the money it took to maintain my body.

I had been planning on completing gender re-assignment surgery when I first met Linda. I had been living my life as myself for a long time and I was ready to make the shift. When I had found God, I no longer thought that it was the right thing to do. God had given me a body, I should've been happy with it. It was too late to go back now (and honestly, despite all the changes I'd made, I really didn't want to go back. For whatever faults in judgment I'd had in other areas, this still felt right), so I had to stay in my body. But I decided to keep my body just as it was. I would lock myself into the body that I had when I met Linda. If I couldn't have the body that I had when I was born, I could have the body I had when I was saved. My body, and all its parts, were a reminder of my misspent early life. I didn't so much regret it, as I did consider it a symbol of my former fallen self and the change my soul had seen.

"I don't believe you," Eve said, "Show me." She was looking at my skirt, seeing if she could see my cock. She did not know it was taped back tightly against my body, unlike the other parts of my anatomy I found this part to be particularly shameful. I shook my head at her. I didn't know how to feel about Eve knowing. It did not feel real to me yet, that we both understood each other. I was surprised that I didn't sense a new understanding or intimacy between us.

"It would not be proper," I explained, "But I promise you. I am a girl just like you. Despite that, I have found my way back to God. And he loves me anyway." This was the message that only I could bring to these girls. That was why God found me. To preach to the people like me. To find happiness in doing so.

"Does you church know you have a dick?" Eve said, crossing her arms in front of her chest. I winced at her coarse words but despite myself, when she said the word 'dick' my eyes instantly moved back to the area between her legs. She was still naked there, her body totally exposed. She looked comfortable that way, like it didn't bother her to show the world her body. But I wished she'd cover. I didn't like the way it made me feel. What was it making me feel?

"They don't need to know about it," I said. I had resolved early on that I would not tell anyone, not even Linda. It wasn't so much that I thought that they would reject me (though they might), it was that I no longer considered that a part of myself. Whether I had a penis or not was immaterial. Or I guess it was material, but I had promised myself to a world beyond the here and now. I had promised myself to god, so the flesh no longer mattered. I would never take another lover. I would never masturbate. That was how I would atone. So what did it matter? Eve smiled at my answer.

"That's what I thought," she said and then laughed.

"What?" I asked uneasily. Eve walked over to the bed now and once again sat down next to me. Her leg was still uncomfortably close, but she did not touch me. I could smell her again and desperately wanted her to move away. But I felt that this was good, I was getting her talking now. I just let her stay there. She was feeling the intimacy I'd hoped to build.