LOVE, SEX, GUNS, and Ammunition

Harley nodded his head in agreement.

"With what you said in mind, being that she's not big on fancy things, I'd thought I'd buy her a couple boxes of 12-gauge shells for her shotgun and 9 mm bullets for her Glock. As you know, they're not cheap. Then, I was thinkin'," said Harley with a pause before falling silent.

Clem stopped whittling to look up at his friend.

"Okay. I'll bite," said Clem. "What were you thinkin'?"

Harley kicked at the dirt as if he was embarrassed to say what he was thinking.

"Being that she already has lots of guns and unless she carries a gun in her purse, which she never carries purses, 'cause she hates pocketbooks, I thought about buying her an over the shoulder holster," said Harley. Then, as if struggling again to tell his friend what he was thinking, he kicked at the dirt again. "I figured that if I bought her two over the shoulder holsters, that, um, well, you know, that, um, maybe—"

Clem made an impatient face.

"Spit it out, Harley. We've been friends too long for you to feel uncomfortable sayin' anythin' to me, especially about Maybell," said Clem. "We've all known one another too long to feel uncomfortable about talkin' about anythin'."

Harley stared down at the ground again before staring up at his friend.

"Well, knowin' Maybell the way that I do, I thought if I bought her two of those, you know, um, over the shoulder holsters, in the way that she wears those over the shoulder boulder holsters for her breasts—"

Clem repressed a laugh.

"Bras, Harley. D'ya mean a bra? They're called bras, Harley, and Maybell has the biggest boulders and the biggest over the shoulder boulder holders in the county," said Clem letting go of his laugh. "Even though I've never seen her in her bra or even in a bathin' suit for that matter, I used to imagine her in her bra and topless when I was a horny teenager fantasizin' about Maybell's tits while masturbating myself before knowing 'Cilla."

Harley made an uncomfortable face with Clem talking about Maybell's tits. He shuffled his feet again while kicking at more dirt.

"Yeah, well, I know and I remember you goin' on about Maybell's tits in the way that I used to do too. Yet, now that I'm with her, in the way that you'd be uncomfortable talkin' about Priscilla's bra and naked breasts with me, I'm uncomfortable about talkin' about Maybell's bra and naked tits with you," said Harley.

Harley talked to his friend as if he was Hap Collins, played by James Purefoy, and Clem was Leonard Pine, played by Michael Kenneth Williams, in Hap and Leonard, and Maybell was big breasted Trudy Fawst, played Christina Hendricks.

Clem laughed out loud.

"Don't know why you'd be uncomfortable talkin' 'bout Maybell's tits now when that's all we discussed before I found my 'Cilla. Our main topic of conversation back then was wondering what Maybell's tits looked like and felt like, and bettin' on who we thought would be first to touch them, feel them, and see them," said Clem with a laugh. "Just as you surely did back then, I can't count how many times that I masturbated myself over imagining having my sexual way with Maybell's big boobs."

Harley made a face at his friend and quickly changed the subject.

"Anyways, being that I'd give her a couple boxes of 12-gauge shotgun shells and a couple boxes of 9 mm bullets along with the over the shoulder holsters on Valentine's Day..." he said pausing. "What do you think my chances are that she'd wear them shoulder holsters to bed, without the handguns, of course, and without wearing anything else, not even a nightie. I'd sure like Maybell to wear those shoulder holsters and nothin' else."

Clem laughed.

"Holy Hell, Harley. Now that you've given me quite the sexual image of Maybell wearing nothin' but shoulder holsters, I'll be takin' that with me to bed with me tonight when with 'Cilla," said Clem with a dirty laugh. "Based on her reaction when you bought her the 9 mm Glock, I'm sure she'd have a similar reaction when you bought a more shotgun shells, 9 mm and .38 caliber bullets, and her over the shoulder holsters for her guns."

Harley nodded his head in agreeance with his friend.

"Those shoulder holsters have a strap that goes around her ribs and under her breasts. Instead of her big tits sagging a little like they do when she doesn't wear a bra, shoulder holsters would give her tits the support that she obviously needs," said Harley cupping and lifting his breasts as if he had tits.

Clem laughed at his friend.

"Stop it, Harley. You're makin' me horny by giving me the image of Maybell's neked breasts. I only wish Priscilla had tits half as big as Maybell's big boobs," said Clem. "Hot damn, you're one lucky man."

Harley smiled at his friend.

"I'd sure like to have my wicked, sexual way with her big, neked breasts again. In the way that she allowed me to have my wicked, sexual way with her beautiful mouth when we reconnected last fall and again at Christmas when she blew me, I'd love for her to blow me again too." Harley paused as if thinking. "Call me crazy but there's somethin' sexy about a woman wearing shoulder holsters and nothin' else to bed," said Harley with a dirty laugh. "I saw that once, a cartoon in Guns & Ammo Magazine."

Clem looked up to smile at his friend.

"You're not crazy. You're just in love. Give it a try," said Clem. "What do you have to lose? It's worth a shot. You know what she likes and you hit a homerun on Christmas by buying her a 9 mm Glock," said Clem. "Being that she doesn't lug a pocketbook around, she'd probably appreciate the shoulder holsters."

As if he was thinking, Clem paused to make eye contact with his friend. Harley stared at Clem waiting for him to finish his thought.

"What?" Harley looked at his old friend. "What are you thinking?"

Clem rubbed his chin again as if he was pondering his thoughts.

"Being that you already bought her the handgun for Christmas and are buyin' her two shoulder holsters for Valentine's Day, if Maybell was my woman, I'd buy her another Glock. Instead of buyin' her a second Glock 17, as long as you can afford it, I'd buy her a Glock 20," said Clem pausing to look up at his friend. "If I was hopin' to get lucky with her big tits and with her mouth in the way you did last fall, again at Christmas, and hope to get lucky again, I'd even buy her a little somethin' special for her Glocks."

Harley looked at Clem with interest.

"Somethin' special for her Glocks? What do you mean? Other than buying her another Glock, a couple boxes 12-gauge shotgun shells, 9 mm bullets for her Glock 17, 10 mm bullets for her Glock 20, and two shoulder holsters, what else is there to buy for a Glock?"

Clem smiled at his friend.

"There's lots of accessories you could buy her for her Glocks. You could buy her a couple extra Glock magazines, one for the Glock 17 and another for the Glock 20. You could buy her one of those of them red dot, laser sights and a silencer like those Navy Seals mount on their handguns," said Clem. "Those are real cool and are legal in most states. I'm sure she'd like that enough to show you her oral appreciation, if you know what I mean," said Clem.

He laughed while moving his hand back and forth in front of his mouth and pushing his cheek out with his tongue as if giving a blowjob.

"Hot damn, Clem. Those are some real nice Valentine's Day gift suggestions," said Harley excited to make his woman happy by buying her gun accessories.

Clem looked at his friend and smiled.

"You could even buy her one of them night vision scopes."

Harley's eyes opened wide.

"Holy Hell, Clem," said Harley removing his hat from his head and slapping it against his leg. "I never thought of buying her anything like that. Buying a couple boxes of shotgun shells, 9 mm and 10 mm bullets, a second Glock, extra magazines, shoulder holsters, a red, laser sight, a silencer, and a night vision scope, Valentine's Day doesn't get any better than that," said Harley.

Clem smiled at his friend.

"Yes sir. If you want love and sex with Maybell, with her being the type of manly woman that she is, then you need to buy her more guns and ammunition," said Clem with a dirty laugh. "In the way that guns and ammunition excite most men, you may have found the way to Maybell's heart, mouth, and pussy."

Harley laughed too.

"Better than showing up at her door with flowers, candy, perfume, and a sexy nightgown, if I showed up at her door with another Glock and accessories for both of her Glocks, she'd love it. Giving her plenty of gifts to open, she'd definitely allow me to have my wicked, sexual way with her big tits while wearing her shoulder holsters and nothin' else," said Harley. "She'd definitely take me in her mouth again. She'd definitely blow me, allow me to cum in her mouth, and swallow my cum."

Clem returned to his whittling.

"I hope you have a nice Valentine's Day night with Maybell. Let me know if you get lucky," said Clem with a dirty laugh.

* * * * *

Harley bought a second Glock for his beloved Maybell for Valentine's Day, a Glock model 20 and a couple boxes of 10 mm bullets. In addition to buying her a second Glock, he bought her a couple boxes each of 12-gauge shotgun shells, 9 mm bullets for her Glock 17, and .38 caliber bullets for her Smith and Wesson. Excited to hopefully see her wearing them, he bought her two over the leather, shoulder holsters that had straps that wrapped around her ribs and rested under and supported her giant breasts.

Going along with Clem's suggestions, he bought her two, red laser sights for both of her Glocks, a silencer, extra magazines for her Glocks and, should she be out in the woods after dark, he bought her a night vision scope. Ready for bear, he was prepared to overwhelm Maybell with everything she'd hopefully ever want for her guns and for Valentine's Day. Yet, for obvious sexual reasons, he was more excited about giving her two over the shoulder holsters than he was about all of the other gifts that he was giving her.

As he had always done before, instead of wrapping her gifts in fancy gift wrap or in Valentine's Day paper with hearts and roses, Harley wrapped Maybell's gifts in camouflaged, hunting paper. He knew that she'd appreciate the camouflaged paper more than the hearts and roses paper. Instead of having to trudge up the side of the mountain carrying his heavy gifts, he was glad that she showed him another way to reach the other side of her cabin by driving up a winding country road.

Taking a chance that she'd even be home but with her not having a cellphone or a computer, he had no way to reach her. Glad that she was home, as soon as he knocked on her door, she opened it. She looked at him shocked that he was holding a box filled with gifts. Inviting him inside as soon as she opened her door, he kissed her on the lips and she returned his kiss.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Maybell," he said putting her box of gifts down on the dining room table.

Excited that she may be pleased enough to give him the Valentine's Day gift that he wanted, intimacy with her big tits, hot sex with her blonde, trimmed pussy, and a blowjob with her beautiful mouth, he couldn't wait for her to open her gifts. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face when opening each gift. He couldn't wait for him to give him hot sex in the way that she gave him hot sex at Christmas when he gave her a Glock handgun, a box of shotgun shells, and a box of 9 mm bullets.

"What's all this?"

She looked from her pile of gifts to look at him before looking at the pile of gifts again.

"Your Valentine's Day gifts," he said. "I'm doing my best to woo you," he said with a laugh.

She looked at him and made a face.

"Woo me?" She made another face. "You already have me, you big dummy," she said. "You hungry?"

He smiled.

"I could eat but after you open your gifts," he said figuring that she'd satisfy his sexual lust for her before she filled his belly. "Open this one first," he said handing her a gift.

She accepted the gift from him and sat at her dining room table to open it.

"It's heavy," she said weighing in her hand as if she was weighing a fish she caught. "What is it?"

He smiled.

"Open it," he said.

She opened her gift and as soon as she saw the box, she knew what it was.

"Oh, my God. Oh no you didn't. Harley? You bought me another Glock and extra magazines. Oh, wow! Thank you," she said. "I love my other Glock but now having two Glocks, it's time to retire my .38," she said.

She kissed him and he returned his kiss.

"This Glock is a Glock 20 and takes 10 mm bullets. It's more powerful than the Glock 17 that I bought you for Christmas," he said. "This gun will drop a grizzly," he said reiterating all that Clem had said.

She looked at her new gun impressed.

"Thank you, Harley," said Maybell giving him another and longer kiss.

He handed her another gift.

"Open this one next," he said.

She looked at him with embarrassment.

"I didn't buy you anything for Valentine's Day, Harley. Actually, I forgot that it was Valentine's Day," she said. "I did make you a nice meal and baked you an apple pie. I was comin' to town to get you later."

He gave her a smile.

"Other than wishing you'd allow me to buy you a cellphone and/or a computer, the only Valentine's gift that I want is to have sex with you," he said. "The only Valentine that I want is you naked and on your bed," he said with a dirty laugh. "The only Valentine's gift that I want is to be sexually intimate with your big tits."

Rolling her eyes and sighing while ignoring him wanting to buy her a cellphone and/or a computer, she opened her next gift.

"The last thing I need is a computer and/or a cellphone," she said opening her gift. "What's this?"

He pulled one out of the box and mounted it on her Glock to show her.

"They're red dot sights." He lit up the wall with a red dot. "See? "You'll never miss your target with this attached to your guns."

She looked at him astonished.

"I've never seen anything like that," she said as if she was sexually excited as she was when the first time seeing his naked prick.

He handed her another gift.

"Open this one next," he said.

She shook the wrapped boxes.

"It sounds like bullets to me," she said with a laugh. "Lemme guess, shotgun shells 9 mm bullets, .38 caliber bullets, and 10 mm bullets?" She unwrapped the gift. "Thank you, Harley," she said giving him another kiss. "You can't go wrong buying a country girl bullets," she said with a laugh.

He returned her kiss with his kiss before handing her yet another wrapped gift.

"Oh, my God, Harley. You went overboard. You bought me more for Valentine's Day than you did for my birthday or for Christmas combine," she said while laughing with glee.

He handed her another gift and she opened her gift.

"A night vision scope? You bought me a night vision scope? I can't wait to try it out with my red dot sights. Thank you, Harley," she said kissing him again.

He handed her yet another gift.

"You're welcome," he said.

She unwrapped the gift as if she was a little girl at Christmas. Wanting to spoil her, he figured that her Daddy and brother never bought her anything and he'd be right.

"What's this?" She removed the item from the box?

He took it from her hand and attached it to the Glock.

"It's a silencer. They're legal in this state and in 41 other states. Now, you can shoot your gun without disturbing anyone. The Navy Seals use them on their Glocks too," he said.

She looked at him amazed.

"You bought me everything that I could possibly want," she said giving him another kiss.

He smiled at her while handing her the last gift.

"I save the best gift for last," he said with a dirty laugh. "This gift is as much for you as it is for me," he said giving her a wide smile. "I hope you like it. I hope you'll wear it."

She looked at him surprised.

"With what that gun cost, I would have figured that the Glock or the night vision scope were the best gifts," she said.

She stared down at her new gun while holding it in her hand. She stared at the boxes of shotgun shells, 9 and 10 mm bullets, at the .38 caliber bullets, the extra magazines, at her red dot sights, night vision scope, and at her silencer. As if she was staring at a sexy nightgown, a dozen, red roses, perfume, jewelry, and a box of candy, she was happy. She opened her last gift.

"Somethings are more valuable than money," he said with a dirty laugh.

"Shoulder holsters, two of them, one for each Glock. I'll be armed and dangerous now," she said laughing. "I've never had a shoulder holster."

Harley looked at her with sexually excitement mixed with embarrassment.

"Actually, the holsters are as much for you as they are for me," he said again with another dirty laugh.

She looked at him with curiosity.

"How's that?"

He gave her a sexy smile and a naughty look.

"As your Valentine's gift to me, I was hoping you'd wear them to bed tonight, without the guns, of course, with nothing else, just the holsters," he said watching for her response.

She returned his sexy smile and naughty look with her sexy smile and naughty look.

"Oh, Harley, you know just what a girl wants. I'd love to wear my holsters to bed for you while wearing nothing else," she said. "While you have your wicked, sexual way with my big tits, I can't wait to take you in my mouth again in the way that I did on Christmas," she said. "I can't wait for you to cum in my mouth. After you make love to me, fuck me, and give me sexual orgasms with your fingers, your tongue, and your cock, I can't wait to give you a sexual orgasm with my mouth. I can't wait to swallow your cum," she said giving him a deep, wet kiss.

* * * * *

Finally, finding a man who not only appreciated her as a human being instead of a tall, beautiful, blue-eyed, natural blonde woman with big tits, giving her space to come around, Harley understood Maybell. She was so happy with her Valentine's gifts that she asked him to move in with her. Pregnant on her 39th birthday, they married and added an extension to her house just before she had her babies, fraternal twins, a boy they named Brody and a girl they named Daisy. They bought a Coonhound and because the way that his hips moved when he walked, they named him Elvis.

THE END

Please vote. This is a Valentine's Day contest story. As if your vote is my applause, please give me the courtesy of your vote.